THEME SONG LYRICS

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Q: What were the lyrics to the opening song?
A: There were four versions of the "Love Theme" in the pre-Sci-Fi Channel eras:

For the KTMA episodes:

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Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson
Sung by: Joel and the Joels [Joel Hodgson]

In the not-too-distant future-
Next Sunday, A.D.-
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different than you or me.
He worked in a satellite loading bay,
Just polishing switches to pay his way;
He did his job well with a cheerful face,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst ever made.
Joel says when you got lemons,
You make lemonade.
Now keep in mind he can't control
When the movies begin or end,
Because he used the extra parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot roll-call-
Cambot
Servo
Gypsy
Crow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000."

For episodes 101 through 512:

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Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson
Sung by: Joel and the Joels [Joel Hodgson]

In the not-too-distant future-
Next Sunday A.D.-
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call: (All right, let's go!)
Cambot! (Pan left!)
Gypsy! (Hi, girl!)
Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!)
Croooow! (He's a wisecracker.)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

For episodes 513 through 624:

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Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson
Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson

In the not-too-distant future
Way down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank
Were hatching an Evil Scheme.
They hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe they didn't like.
Their experiment needed a good test case,
So they conked him on the noggin
And they shot him into space. (Get me down!)

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot! (Show yourself!)
Gypsy! ('m not ready!)
Tom Servo! (h'lo there!)
Croooow! (That's one "o"!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

For episodes 701 through 706:

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Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson
Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson

Mike: "In the not too distant future
Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester
Was hatching a nasty scheme
He hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe he didn't like.
His experiment needed a good test case,
So he conked him on the noggin
And he shot him into space. (Get me down!)

I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (Show yourself!)
Gypsy! (I'm not ready!)
Tom Servo! (h'lo there!)
Croooow! (That's one "o"!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax..."

Dr. F (spoken): "Did I tell you my mother's here?"

Mike: "For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

Q: In the Mike-era theme songs, why is it so difficult to understand what is said during the "Robot Roll Call?"
A: The Brains have said that they intentionally made it difficult to understand what was being said so that people would tune in and listen more. It also adds a sense of mystery -- at least until it is posted in the FAQ!