Bit: Re-entry Episode 1013- Diabolik Transcribed by Dan Newton (with an assist by belsome@bellsouth.net) [SOL] (Bridge. Mike and Tom are guiding the SOL in for a landing. Tom is gripping a steering wheel. Alarms sound.) Mike (calmly): Tom, what's our situation? Tom: Beginning re-entry, Mike. Mike: Good. (Loud explosion. Ship rocks violently.) Tom: Ohhh! Total heat shield failure, Mike! (Ship begins rocking.) Mike (scared): Ahh, bad! What's going on? Tom (excitedly): Deck 3 broken away! (explosion) Deck 4 broken away! (explosion) Mike (panicked): Oh my gosh! Cambot, get me Rocket #9! Tom: Whoa Nellie! [Rocket #9] (SOL is hurtling to Earth in a power dive. Sections are falling off.) Tom (voice over): Deck 5 broken away! [SOL] Tom: Deck 6 broken away! (explosion) Deck 7, melting, and broken away! (explosion) Mike: Gypsy, what do we do? (Gypsy enters.) Gypsy: We burn up horribly! It's too dreadful to contemplate! Oh my God in Heaven, please have mercy on our souls! Mike: I'll call Pearl! (Smoke starts billowing in.) Tom: Uh-oh! Toxic gas filling our lungs and our nasal passages! Mike (Completely obliterated by smoke): Pearl! [Castle] (The castle is empty. There is a lonely lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Pearl, Observer and Bobo are at the back, huddled together.) Pearl: Now sing, dammit, sing! (They begin shuffling stage left, singing "It's A Long Way To Tipperary." They stop. Pearl walks up to the camera. Bobo and Observer flee.) Pearl: Look Nelson, move on. (She picks up a cable.) I am. (She disconnects the cable. Screen goes black.) [SOL] (Smoke and confusion. Tom is still at the wheel. Mike looks about in blind panic.) Tom: (explosion) Whoa! Deck 9 crashing into Decks 10 and 11. (numerous explosions) Gypsy (hysterical): This is it! We're going down! Tom (hysterical): Brace for impact! Mike (hysterical): We're all gonna die! (Crow appears in front of the bridge, wearing a sweater.) Crow (hysterical): Mike, have you seen my other sweater? (All scream, as more smoke covers the screen. Sound of loud crash, then soft, gentle piano music.) [Mike's apartment] (Tom is on the couch, reading a prospectus from ConGypsCo, with Crow, who is watching TV. Mike is in the background, cooking in the kitchen.) Tom (chuckling): Boy oh boy, this ConGypsCo stock is up! I mean, way up! Mike (from kitchen): Well, Gypsy did wanna let us in on her public offering, but we said no. Crow: Well, if you remember, I made a fart noise. She only took it as a no. Mike (Walking from the kitchen, with a very large bowl of rice.): Well still, it all worked out. I mean, we were very fortunate to walk away from that crash. Tom: I'll say! Crow: Oh yeah. Mike: And, I guess if we were all multi-billionaires, you guys wouldn't have moved in with me. Crow: True. Tom: Yeah, that's right. Sweet garden level living; one bedroom, one half bath, and on the bus lines! Crow: Suh-weet! (Tom chuckles) Mike: Hey, who's for rice? Crow (annoyed): Would you sit down, the movie's about to start! Tom: C'mere dummy! (Mike moves around and sits between them on the couch.) TV Announcer: WTMJ-TV in Milwaukee presents our Saturday Afternoon Movie, The Crawling Eye. (Camera shot from behind the couch. M&TB are watching the TV. They begin riffing.) Tom: "The Crawling Eye: The Marty Feldman Story"! Mike: Oh. Forest Tucker. He's the guy that makes sure the tree's shirt tails are in. Tom: Oh. Crow: This movie looks kinda...familiar, doesn't it? Tom: Hmm... (Fade.) .