Bit: Joel Departs

Episode: 1001- Soultaker

Transcribed by Chris Franzino


[SOL]

(Back on the bridge, Joel has a small crate of auto parts.)

Crow: So uh, how'd it go, Joel?
Joel: Uh, it went pretty good. I did have some trouble, though with the digital switching module. It was all... greasy.
Tom: Yeah, Mike here tried to patch it with strips of bacon.
Joel: Oh. Well uh, I've updated all necessary systems. You shouldn't have any problems for the next ten years or twenty-million miles, whichever comes first. You know what, (Joel picks up a fuel filter out of the crate) I did want to show you this fuel filter though. You see all that gunk that's been building up in there?
Mike: Eww, yuck. That's gotta affect performance.
Joel: Yeah, it sure does, it's a good thing I happened along here. Now if you'll just sign this, I'll be on my way.
Mike: Okay, well then. Thanks a lot. Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I don't think about my fuel filter.
Joel: That's the thing, people don't think about it. (Mike notices the red light flashing.)
Mike: Yeah. Oh, you know what, Pearl's calling. Hang on.
Joel: Yeah, pay me now, pay me later.
Mike: Yeah, I know, I hear you.

[Castle Forrester]

Frank: Joel? Is that Joel Robinson?

[SOL]

Joel, Mike, Crow and Tom:: TV's Frank?
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Frank.
Joel: Frank! How are you, Frank?

[Castle Forrester]

Frank: Pretty good uh, been soul stealing. In fact... You're on my list. I'm going to need your soul. You know, when...when you get a minute.

[SOL]

Crow: Yuh-oh, you'd better get going there, Joel.
Mike: Hey, hey. What about us? Can you take us with you?
Crow: Yeah!
Joel: You know, I don't really want to.
Crow: What?
Tom: Why?
Mike: Why?
Joel: Well, I'll tell you why. Because the years I spent here on the Satellite of Love were the best damn years of my life, and I wouldn't want you mugs to miss a minute of it!
Mike: Really?
Joel: Yeah, really. It made a man out of me, and maybe, just maybe, if you're lucky, it'll make a man out of you, too!
Mike: Yeah! Yeah, that's it! You get goin' and I'll stay here, and I'll get busy being a man!
Joel: That's right. I knew there was something I liked about you, Mike. And you two 'Bots... You just keep 'em flying and remember Joel, alright!
Crow: Alright, Joel! So long, Joel! Bye-bye! Bye! Go knock yourself out!
Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so long! Thanks! Thanks! Right out there, yeah.
Tom: We'll remember you, Joel! There goes Joel Robinson, a man!
Crow: Yeah! (Joel opens the bridge door and leaves.)

Mike: Wow man, think about it. A real man like that allowing me to find my own way!
Tom: That's right. Hey, press that button like a man, Mike.
Crow: Yeah, give it a try.
Mike: Okay. (Mike pushes the button like a "real man")
Tom: Oh, yeah!
Crow: Smooth!
Tom: What a man.

[Castle Forrester]

Frank: Oh man, I'm gonna catch Hell from my boss. I haven't brought back any souls yet.
Pearl: Oh, Frank. Please, take my soul. I'm not going to be using it.
Frank: Oh no. I couldn't. Really, I couldn't.
Pearl: Oh, yeah? Well hang on. Hey Brain Guy! (Brain Guy sneaks up)
Observer: Yo.
Pearl: Ah! Frank here is going to be stealing your soul.
Observer: Oh, I'm sorry. You're barking up the wrong albino. I'm just a brain. 100 percent soul-free. Sorry.
Bobo: Would um, someone maybe, um... like to, uh, steal my soul?
Frank: Really? Are you sure it's okay?
Bobo: Oh, this old soul? Please, do me the favor of stealing it.
Frank: Wow, okay.
Bobo: C'mon. There it goes. It's slipping out now. . (Bobo's soul comes out in the shape of a ring) There. You'll be top soul stealer in no time.
Frank: I know! Let's play ring toss... with your soul! Yay! (Frank and Bobo toss the soul back and forth.)
Pearl: I knew those two would get along.

(Cut)

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