Bit: Art Therapy
Episode: 507--I Accuse My Parents
[SOL]
(Desk is covered with drawings.)
Joel: Okay, so,
is everybody done with their art-therapy project?
Gypsy:
Mm-hmm.
Tom: Joel, what's
the point of this art-therapy stuff, anyway, huh?
Joel: Well, by
having you draw pictures of your idealized family, maybe you
can escape some of the deep psychological problems that
Jimmy, the star of today's movie, suffered because of his
family. So let's see what you've drawn, okay? This is
Crow's....
(Crow's drawing is a giant version of himself with a
handlebar mustache, knives for hands, and lasers firing from
his chest, walking down a city street crushing
buildings.)
Tom: Huh.
Crow: That's my
dad. He's all-powerful! His hands are made of stainless
steel and he has lasers that shoot out of his chest. (Laser
noises.) Pyeww! Pyeww!
Gypsy: Ooh!
Crow: I don't
have to tell ya, he's the coolest dad in the whole
neighborhood. And when we go to father-son picnics, we win
every event. And he dispenses homespun wisdom and teaches
solid Midwestern values while crushing all who block his
path!
Gypsy: Ahh.
Joel: Uh huh. And
what about the handlebar mustache?
Crow: Uh....I
dunno.
Joel: Okay, let's
see here. (Writes:) Oral obsession with mustache indicates
nasal-labial shame. Good, okay. Now let's see yours here,
Tom. What's this?
(Tom's drawing is two women holding hands, with a big robot
standing behind them.)
Tom: Okeydoke!
Uh, that's my mom, my dad and my mom. My mom is Hayley
Mills, my dad is Gigantor and my mom is Peggy Cass.
Joel: Uh huh. And
why are your moms holding hands, Tom?
Tom: I dunno.
Joel: Okay, let's
see.... (Writes:) Latent "Parent Trap" syndrome. (Whispers
to Cambot:) Man should be in a straitjacket! (To Gypsy.)
Okay, Gypsy, this one's really nice, what about this
one?
(Gypsy's is of her, Crow, Joel, Tom and Cambot--holding
hands, with Richard Basehart looking down on them from a
cloud overhead.)
Gypsy: Well,
Joel, my ideal family is right here! And I know Richard
Basehart watches over us all.
Joel: Oh, that's
really sweet, Gypsy. But tell me, why does Richard Basehart
get to play God?
Gypsy: I
dunno.
Crow: Uh, Joel?
Why are you spending your time psychoanalyzing robots?
Joel: Um....I
don't know. (Short but awkward silence.) I'm kidding, of
course. [Commercial sign] (To Cambot.) We'll be right back.
I *do* know! I really do know.
(Cut.)
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