Bit: THE KLACK COMMERCIAL
Episode: 211- First Spaceship On Venus
Tom: (At microphone)
And we'll be right back after this message...
Tom: (Voice-over):
Hi - Ed Herlihy here, hoping you’re enjoying tonight’s Klack Festival
Theater presentation of First Spaceship to Venus. You know, holiday season is the
perfect time to enjoy Klack’s Industrial Saladoos-based snacks and snippets, any
time of the day or year.
Start the morning with a Technicolor yawn by serving up piles of flabby Klack leather
pancakes, dotted with Dicey Cocoa Stumps. Kids can’t resist the texture of Klack’s
Creamy Clotted Palm Spread squeezed out on Horsey Biscuits. And don’t forget the
Sir Cheddar Snack-a-Lots! And top them with Chimi Hats for a Western roundup and
safe snacking. And moms - don’t forget to serve the clabber club platters of Salamander
Fingerwiches, Creamy Crust Puppies, and hey - try a load of Taco Mince Meat Relish
Parfait served up in a tulip glass for that touch of elegance.
Uncle Bob’s just out of the institution! Celebrate with Skin Mittens brightened up
with gamey forced-meat stuffing, and don’t forget those Polynesian Cheese Devils.
Then, pinch off some Klack Hanger-Crafted Cobra Coils to complement a Bastille Day
buffet, and lube up those Cooter Cakes with that incredibly edible Spreadable Phlegm.
Watch kitty’s galvanic skin response shoot through the ceiling by wrapping him in
Klack Wrap and making her [sic] a festive centerpiece. At lunchtime, light your hand
on fire and plunge it into the traditional Gut-Loaf Whistle Pie - just like Grandpa
used to do before they took him away.
And finally - dress your holiday table in style with a Gold-Roasted Mutant Hellbeast,
stuffed with Flesh-Button Dressing made fresh with Klack Saladoos, Cooter Croutons,
and grandmother’s earlobes - always the best. Accent with Creamy Crust Puppies, velvety
Choke [?] Balls, and of course, a mug of holiday swill.
Remember: If you’re incapable of showing emotion but know how to cook, Klack has
a holiday snack idea for you.
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