Bit: JOEY THE LEMUR

Episode: 210- King Dinosaur

(Transcription by Stephen Cooke)

Joel: Hey guys, I've got this puppet, let's do that song and sketch about the lemur.
Crow: Cute
Tom: Alright. (Singing)
It's Joey The Lemur, the friend to mankind
A furry sort of monkey friend, he really does shine.
Joel (singing, more or less):
Joey The Lemur, he's really fun to have around
He'll huggle (unintelligible) and touch you, fun, fun fun!
Crow (singing):
It's Joey The Lemur, he'll run everywere
Joey The Lemur, what kind of heck of animal is he anyway
Um, ah, Joey The Lemur, the kind of animal that would go to the bathroom anywhere
Joey...
Joel (spoken): Just hold it, okay?
Crow: But, there's more...
Joel: That's okay... (to Cambot) This is the lemur, native to Phillipines, Madagasgar and fictional planets like Nova. He is a clean, gregarious and good pet. (making Joey talk) You said it pal. Oh boy, pal o' mine, you're the one for me.
Tom: Uh oh, Joel's swinging into his puppet routine!
Joel (Joey voice): Hey, can it, fireplug! I've had enough out of you...I've got a story to tell...
Tom (singing): Joey The Lemur, he'll say what he thinks...
Joel (as Joey): Oh boy, will I ever! I'll carry on like a Gilbert Gottfried of the animal world, I'll tell you. I'm the clown prince of the primate world, who's often mistaken for our friend the chimpanzee, but don't make any mistake; I'm not saying anything wrong about our chimpanzee brethren, only wishing that they'd throw a little more work our way...
Crow (singing): Lemur The Lemur, L-E-M-U-R...(Joel has puppet attack Crow. Spoken) ARGH! Hey...
Joel (as Joey): Hey, who's this bird-dog thing? I don't like him.
Tom (singing): L is for lemur... (Spoken.) Huh?
Joel (as Joey): L is for lemur, nuff said.
Crow (singing): E is for eat.
Joel (as Joey): E is for eat: I eat four times my own weights[sic] in nuts and berries, which has its consequences, but go figure.
Crow (half-sung, half-spoken, with a sneer): M is for Monkey!
Joel (as Joey): I'm often mistaken for a monkey, it goes with the turf. Let's go!
Tom (singing): U is for unusual...
Crow (singing): ...and unpredictable.
Joel (as Joey): Unpredictable is right. I once took a whiz on Johnny Carson's sport coat. I don't panel well. Okay, on with the show.
Tom (singing): R is for Radical...
Crow (spoken): ...and Rambunctious!
Joel (as Joey): Randy as a jackrabbit, that's me all right! Whooo! (bouncing on Servo's head)
Tom (singing): Yes, it's the splendiforous Lemur!
Crow (singing): Friend to all mankind!
Joel (as Joey): Please consider me as a possible corporate symbol or mascot suitable and fine for any professional or semi-professional sport team.
Crow and Tom (singing): It's the most magnificent (one says magniforous) Lemur!
Joel (as Joey): Please consider me. I'm am willing to travel and would make an excellent companion to any elderly or un-eldermy[sic]...elderly person. Gentlemen, please consider me, thank you, won't you, thank you...[Movie sign lights and klaxons go off] (as himself)..MOVIE SIGN!

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