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Season’s Greetings from Satellite News!

With the holidays upon us, it’s time once again for our annual holiday tradition, A Child’s Christmas in Space by Tom Servo.


Tom: It’s quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and Bible black. And as I look down on the big blue bean we would call home I think it so near, yet… oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I hope sweet Santa will fly by tonight, because if he does I’m gonna reach right out and hug that big guy. Oh, for the sound of hooves against the steel hull of the ship. Oh, to see the rosy face of Santa in the porthole, offering me a Coke and a smile… (gradually becoming upset) …of course, his cheeks WOULD be rosy because it’s a VACUUM out there! I mean, Santa’s HEART would explode! (becoming hysterical) But HE wouldn’t feel it because the capillaries in his brain would pop like little firecrackers (Joel tries to calm him down) due to the blood boiling away in his face like pudding in a copper…OH THE HUMANITY!! (Now both Joel and Crow are trying to calm him down.) And his jolly old belly would start bubbling like a roasted marshmallow, eyes bulging and popping out… AND THE REINDEER–OH THE REINDEER!!!–keep floating like holiday floats and in turn exploding in a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer–BOOM! Dancer–BOOM!…
Joel: HEY!
Crow: Tom!
Joel: Tom, take it easy! Santa’s gonna be okay, buddy.
Tom: You sure?
Joel: Yeah, give him a little credit, okay?
Tom: Phew, what a relief!


And it is with that sense of relief that we want to offer you our best wishes for the Swayziest holiday season ever, if that’s okay, and hopes for an amazing colossal new year.

–The Maintainers of Satellite News

Thanks to our pal Sabrina Zbasnik for the gorgeous image.

This Date in MSTory

BORN ON THIS DATE
1904: Dorothy Love, who played Helen in the movie in episode 704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN.

1908: Arch Hall Sr. a.k.a. Nicholas Merriwether a.k.a. William Watters, producer/director and original story writer of the movie in episode 506- EEGAH, in which he also played Robert I. Miller.

1909: Shamshi Tyumenbayev, who played Matvei Sbrodovich in the movie in episode 617- THE SWORD AND THE DRAGON.

1912: George Fowler, producer of the movie in episode 416- FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE.

1918: Kurt Waldheim, who was mentioned in a host segment in episode 311- IT CONQUERED THE WORLD.

1922: Richard K. Brockway, executive editorial supervisor for the movie in episode 608- CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD.

1927: Michael Carreras, producer and screenwriter for the movie in episode 111- MOON ZERO TWO.

1928: Ed Nelson, who played Dave Randall in the movie in episode 701- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST, a caveteen in the movie in episode 315- TEENAGE CAVEMAN, George Beldridge in the movie in episode K15- SUPERDOME, a police sergeant in the movie in episode 503- SWAMP DIAMONDS and the elusive Robert Denby in the movie in episode 814- RIDING WITH DEATH. He also helped make the costumes for the movie in episode 406- ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES.

1931: Moira Orfei, who played Némée in the movie in episode 1108- THE LOVES OF HERCULES.

1935: Phil Donahue, whose talk show was mentioned in a host segment in episode 211- FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS.

1938: Sandro Dori, who played Stud in the movie in episode 1013- DIABOLIK.

1940: Frank Zappa, to whom the Brains made a dedication in episode 523- VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS.

1950: Jeffrey Katzenberg, who was mentioned in a host segment in episode 620- DANGER!! DEATH RAY.*

1966: Dan Frye, who was on the creature effects crew for the movie in episode 1304- MUNCHIE.

1981: Eve Mauro, who played Aesa in the movie in episode 1313- CHRISTMAS DRAGON.*

DIED ON THIS DATE
1807: John Newton (age 82), composer of the song “Amazing Grace” which was heard in the movie in episode 908- THE TOUCH OF SATAN.

1962: Syd Saylor (age 67), who played the soda shop owner in the movie in episode 106- THE CRAWLING HAND.

1963: John Close (age 42; traffic accident), who played KTTV reporter Vince Williams in the movie in episode 108- THE SLIME PEOPLE, Major Everett in the movie in episode 517- BEGINNING OF THE END and an engineer in the movie in episode 804- THE DEADLY MANTIS. He also had an uncredited role as a morgue attendant in the movie in episodes 419- THE REBEL SET and a reporter in the movie WORLD WITHOUT END, riffed in MST3K’s first live show.

1963: William Telaak (age 65), screenwriter for the movie in episode 902- THE PHANTOM PLANET.

1967: Harold V. Mckenzie (age 55), editor of the movie in episode 607- BLOODLUST.

1987: Simmy Bow (age 66), who played a gas station attendant in the movie in episode 706- LASERBLAST.

1987: Fred Feitshans Jr. (age 78), editor for the movie in episode 409- THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN.

1991: Colin Douglas (age 79), who played Hans in the movie in episode 101- THE CRAWLING EYE.

1999: Rikiya Iwaki (age 84), who played a Krankor henchman in the movie in episode 816- PRINCE OF SPACE.

2003: Andrea Scotti (age 72), who played Timanthes in the movie in episode 1108- THE LOVES OF HERCULES..

2005: Myron Healey (age 82), who played Mark Houston in the movie in episode 320- THE UNEARTHLY and General Perry in the movie in episode 704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN.

2021: Jaime Comas Gil (age 85), who co-wrote the movie “Il Raggio Infernale,” seen in episode 620- DANGER!! DEATH RAY.**

2022: Diane McBain (age 81), who played Rita in the movie in episode 202- THE SIDEHACKERS.

EPISODE PREMIERE ON THIS DATE
1991: episode 321- SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS first shown.

EVENTS ON THIS DATE
1937: Henry Fonda, star of episode K16- CITY ON FIRE, celebrates the birth of his daughter, future actress Jane Fonda.

1966: the movie in episode 1312- THE BUBBLE has its premiere.

1967: David Carradine, who played Dark One in the movie in episode 1111- WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II, divorces Donna Lee Becht.

* = If this appears next to a birthday, this person is alive, according to the IMDB. If you can supply evidence that he or she has died, and when, please let us know.
** = If this appears next to a birthday, the IMDB indicates that the person has died, but the IMDB does not have a full death date (probably just a month and year or just the year he or she died). If you can give us the exact date (with some sort of proof we can check), please let us know.
** = If this appears next to a death date, the IMDB does not have this person’s full birthday. If you can provide it (with some sort of proof we can check), please let us know.
This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Christopher Cornell, Brian Henry and Steve Finley with assistance by Tim Brown, Gordon Lawyer and many other Satellite News commenters.



This Date in MSTory is copyright 2024. © All rights reserved. Do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors.

Another New Christmas Short from RiffTrax…

Get it here.

A New Christmas Short from RiffTrax…

Get it here.

Now Available from RiffTrax…

Download it here.

And this short was released earlier in the week. Get it here.