Episode 909-
Gorgo
Movie
Summary: This wormy layer of
filmic offal from the Sceptred Isle portrays something not
to be seen in England again until the administration of
Margaret Thatcher: a prehistoric monster laying waste to the
entire nation.
We start in Ireland where William Sylvester runs a salvage
operation. You'll remember Mr. Sylvester from his
performance as the plank of wood in 2001: A Space Odyssey and as the generous portion of spiral-cut ham
in our own Riding with
Death. Volcanic activity
causes a strange island to emerge off the Irish coast,
nearly destroying the ship and ending the film before it
starts. We are not so lucky. Sylvester -- or "Sly" as I like
to call him -- and his mate Joe put in at a small bitter
seaport filled with contrary Gaelic icthyophiles and a
harbor master who looks a LOT like Samuel Beckett. They
become embroiled in a subplot that goes nowhere and makes
Finnegan's Wake look terse and lucid, and befriend a wee
laddie who in this film replaces the characteristic
uberkinder prevalent in Japanese monster films.
Somewhere about three hours into the film, Gorgo appears,
cute little bugger, and is quickly and impossibly captured
by Sly and Joe and the little Irish kid and brought to
London to become an attraction in a circus run by a man with
the delightfully provocative name of Dorkin. Ah, but we find
that Gorgo himself is a child, and his mom, Gorgette I
guess, flattens whole city blocks and murders countless
millions on her way to a sweet reunion with her adorable
spawn.
Filmed loudly and badly, Gorgo still brought us joy in the
opportunity to go on and on about things which are Dorkin!
Prologue: Crow finds out that his web is the perfect
nesting place for the rare Spix's Macaw.
Segment
One: Pearl has flown off to
Los Angeles to find an ally in the struggle to bring bad
films to Mike. She finds Leonard Maltin, who recommends the
movie Gorgo. The two then get real pissy about lunch.
Segment Two: Based on one character's resemblance to Samuel
Beckett, The Satellite of Love presents its own adaptation:
"Waiting for Gorgot."
Segment Three: Mike is obsessed with winning the William
Sylvesterr edition of Trivial Pursuit. The Bots have a hard
time remembering who the hell William Sylvester is, exactly.
Segment Four: Perhaps inspired by today's movie, the Nanites
put on a circus! With Nate the clown! Mike puts down his
quarter to get in! But he forgets how tiny they are and the
Circus is crushed! Horrible death and carnage! Wheee!
Segment Five: Uh-oh, crow and Servo have contracted with the
mob to make a saucy calendar with the women from today's
film. Mike helps the pair scan the film for attractive
English and Irish women in our charming backhanded insult to
both countries.
Stinger: Incomprehensible fisherman.
Reflections:
Leonard Maltin was very nice and sweet and a real pro when
he did our show. He learned his lines quickly, had an
instant rapport with Mary Jo, and rolled with many changes
that came along. He is a charming, affable, thoroughly
professional man. Too bad he gave Gorgo three
stars, the dope.
Now on to Gorgo. It intrigues me to note that Steven Speilberg
and Michael Crichton based their movie on the notion of a
giant prehistoric monster smashing a city to bits while
finding its offspring. But it only intrigues me for about a
minute, then I work up a good belch and I feel better. --
Kevin Murphy.
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