Episode 902-
Phantom Planet
Movie
Summary: Ladies and Gentlemen,
I give you Phantom
Planet, one of 270 million
cheap sci-fi movies our country churned out during the
late-50s and early 60s. And what would a early 60s sci-fi
movie be like without a stubborn, chunk-headed American
hero? Phantom
Planet has that covered in the
person of Captain Frank Chapman, who crash-lands on a
mysterious planet full of Lilliputian-sized people. Chapman
involuntarily undergoes shrinkage and winds up their size
before he knows it. From there he gets put on trial by the
tiny civilization, gets claimed by a Machievellian young
woman, fights another chunk-headed guy, falls in love with a
mute girl, and helps the wee folk battle the sluggish,
cartoon-dog-faced Solarites who periodically ttack. All in
all, a full day.
Prologue: Mike and the 'bots have an "Andy Rooney-off,"
pitting their respective Andy Rooney imitations against each
other. In the end, no one wins - in fact, we all pay dearly.
Segment One: Down in Castle Forrester, Pearl, Observer, and
Bobo unpack the Doomsday Machine they ordered from Spiegel.
Turns out it requires some assembly. The radioactive core of
the device accidentally gets sent to the SOL, where Servo
and Crow want to keep it as a pet.
Segment Two: Servo tries to take the advice of the doomed
astronaut in the movie, and fix his attention on "the good
and the beautiful". He does this by staring at various
combinations of delicious food items and photographs of sexy
starlets, thereby missing the point entirely, as Servo is
wont to do.
Segment
Three: On the SOL, Mike takes
a space walk and Crow forgets to reel him back in. Down in
Castle Forrester, Pearl and Observer continue struggling to
put the Doomdsay Device together. They hear ghastly, ghostly
noises echoing through the halls and get all scared. And --
what do you know! -- it turns out to be Bobo yawning and
accidentally dragging a chain around.
Segment Four: Inspired by the look of the plaent's control
panels in the movie, Crow and Servo set up an array of water
glasses and practice playing. Mike innocently shows them up
with his virtuoso playing, temporarily upsetting the 'bots,
what with their fragile self-esteem.
Segment Five: Crow dresses as a Solarite from the movie,
sending him into a spiral of existential doubt about what he
really is all about.
On earth, Pearl has despaired of ever finishing the device,
and her confidence as an evil world conqueror is shaken. But
she's cheered by a mob of villagers apparently storming the
castle - that must mean she's a threat. Her heart sinks when
she learns that the peasants are there merely to welcome
them to the neighborhood.
Reflections: For
those of you who follow such things, we found
Phantom Planet eerily redolent of the beginning of last
season. For one thing, it featured Colleen Grey, otherwise
known as The Leech
Woman (show 802) playing
another devious vixen. And it had more than a passing
resemblance to The Mole
People (show 803) -- the same
tiny fake-cavernous set standing in for an entire
underground civilization, and the same old-guys-in-robes
factor. In this case, the main old guy was played by Francis
X. Bushman, who in his younger days was a silent movie star
(featured in the silent version of Ben-Hur). Would
that Phantom
Planet had retained more of a
dignified silence.Though a pretty good movie for the show, I
think, it had many scenes of non-stop expositional chat,
which gives us all here a collective migraine when trying to
write the show. On the plus side of this movie, however:
John Agar was conspicuously absent! -- Bill Corbett.
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