Episode 815-
Agent for H.A.R.M.
Movie
Summary: Ah yes, it's the '60s
again, and studly secret agents are running all over the
place, proud and free. The eponymous "Agent For H.A.R.M." is
one Adam Chance, a joyless fellow who favors yellow cardigan
sweaters and looks like Dr. Smith's less effeminate younger
brother. Chance is assigned to protect one Dr. Jan
Steffanic, a scientist recently defected from a vague Iron
Curtain country (remember them?). Turns out Steffanic is on
the cutting edge of some wacko technology which shoots
"spores" at people, turning them into quivering masses of
green-grey fungus - quite a disgusting little fate, as you
might imagine. Dr. Steffanic also has a frequently-bikini-ed
niece, who is certifiably hot. And though she is easily 25
years younger than Chance (really, when has that ever
mattered in the world of movies?), they become entangled.
They survive an onslaught of fey, mincing Euro-bad guys, one
of whom is the artist known as Prince. Turns out the niece
-- like most alluring women in these kind of movies -- is
Evil and not to be trusted. She is exposed as a double agent
for the Commies, and then the movie mercifully ends.
Prologue: The 'Bots are really into Extreme Sports, man.
Doesn't matter what, as long as it's extreme and you can
yell really loud while doing it. This includes Extreme Yoga
and Extreme Stamp Collecting. They berate Mike for being so
un-Extreme.
Segment One: Mike is whisked away from the SOL by a
mysterious Intergalactic Judge to stand trial for his recent
rash of world-destroying. Bobo is appointed his defense
attorney. Pearl, of course, is the prosecutor.
Segment
Two: Pearl and Bobo's opening
statements. Bobo gets very off-track, digressing mostly into
ruminations about food. Mike feels doomed.
Segment Three: The 'Bots supply video testimony to the court.
Servo mistakes his with a T.V. telethon; Crow sinks Mike's
boat even further with a barrage of bleeped
obscenities.
Segment Four: Servo searches for a legal precedent that
might help Mike. Meanwhile down in the courtroom, the
Observer testifies, adding weight to Pearl's case. But then
he's craftily trapped in a lie about baking pies by Bobo,
who knows his pies if he knows anything.
Segment Five: The 'Bots hold a candlelight vigil for Mike on
the SOL. Meanwhile, Pearl calls her final witness, Ortega,
who is sealing Mike's doom. Then Bobo counters with a little
Amish boy, and all heck breaks loose. Finally the verdict
from the Judge: Mike is guilty! And is sentenced to
death!...But this is quickly commuted to community service.
Back on the SOL, the 'Bots are not shy in making Mike get
right to it, cleaning up the mess they made while he was
away.
Reflections: The generic-'60s-spy movie theme from
Agent for
H.A.R.M. provided us all with
yet another vehicle to torture each other's already
embattled psyches around here at Best Brains -- it was sung
and hummed at top volume for weeks, ultimately hurting
everyone involved, I think.
This show had several milestones in it, if you're into that
kinda thing. It marked the directorial debut of one Michael
"Antonioni" Nelson, who did an excellent job despite the
pretentious on-set wardrobe of jodhpurs and riding crop.
Mike had a tough first assignment with our extended
courtroom scenario, which was a trip into the unfamiliar for
all of us -- but came through with flying colors (or more
appropriately, with flying black and white). It was also the
first show where the voice of Gypsy was supplied by our own
set-and-prop genius Patrick Brantseg, filling Jim Mallon's
big shoes extraordinarily well, and wielding the
often-unwieldy Gypsy like a pro.
I also think Mary Jo and Kevin reached new
heights of funny for Pearl and Bobo in the host segments, as
attorneys for the prosecution and defense, respectively. Our
brilliant editor Brad Keeley turned in a CableAce-worthy
comic performance as the little Amish boy, challenging our
collective ability to keep a collective straight face while
taping.
I played the intergalactic judge, and though my voice
changed accents and octaves in every segment, it was,
technically, supposed to be only one consistent character --
although when Brain Guy took the stand, Paul sat in as the
Judge. This is noticeable on not-so-close scrutiny, since I
weigh roughly four times what Paul does, and it shows in the
face. -- Bill Corbett.
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