Episode 1001-
Soultaker
Movie
Summary: In a time and place
much like our own, only it's the '80s, a balding J.D. named
Brad picks up a dreamy guy whose full name, I happen to have
just noticed, is Zachary Taylor, the same as our twelfth
president. Everyone calls him Zack, though, and he's not
very presidential, but he is dreamy, I'll give him that.
Zachary Taylor and Brad pick up goofy eunuch Tommy and head
off to a summer festival in town. A real looker named
Natalie (Vivian Schiller, who also wrote the screenplay)
arrives separately and begins seeking out Zack. Zack does
the same in return, despite the strenuous objections of
trusted advisor Brad, who proclaims Natalie a rich bit*h and
too good for Zack. When Natalie's stranded by her friend
(who fulfills her female role by heading off with the first
male who crosses her line of sight), Zack, Natalie, Brad,
Tommy, and a goofy girl pile into Brad's car and that is
when the movie really starts.
See, I haven't even mentioned yet that we've also seen Joe
Estevez and Robert Z'Dar appear and disappear at odd
intervals all this time. They're Angels of Death. They
appear, point at our protagonists, and then Joe walks out in
front of Brad's speeding car and causes an accident!
Everybody's dead! Or are they? NO!
Oh, it gets complicated. Estevez tries to take their
post-accident souls, and can't get Tommy's and Natalie's and
Zack's; that's because they're not dead! Wow! Instead, they
wander invisibly, trying to figure out what the hell is
going on, pursued by Estevez, who's egged on by a clearly
irritated Z'Dar, and it's all made more complex by Estevez
believing he knew Natalie in a past life -- or is that the
point, we're not sure, maybe she really does just look like
someone; and the exact physics of the whole scheme become
murkier and murkier and Estevez tries everything but can't
get the job done. He is a terrible Angel of Death. I mean
I'm no expert, but come on.
He even tries becoming Natalie's mom -- have I mentioned
these guys are shape-shifters? -- and that leads to some
weird incestuous lesbian implications that I don't think the
movie's makers really meant to get into, but they wrote
themselves into it and it's kinda creepy.
Natalie and Zack end up okay, helped a little by new Angel
of Death Brad. That's really all you need to know. Tommy
doesn't make it. And I ask, along with you: Who was Tommy
again?
Prologue: Crow and Servo hold a wet t-shirt contest.
They put some t-shirts in pans of water and can't see what
the big deal is. At the end, after Mike says "we'll be right
back," nothing happens for a bit. Hm.
Segment One: Upon returning, an a image of Martin Van Buren
appears suddenly, followed by an image of Martin Van Buren
mixed with that of a gesturing, muffled man, a fellow
sharp-eyed viewers might recognize. When Gypsy turns
unusually vulgar, all realize that something is wrong, and
they appeal to Pearl. Pearl doesn't care, and only sends
them the movie. The theater doors don't work at first.
Segment Two: Gypsy announces that a mysterious ship is
keeping pace with the SOL and stalks off crabbily. Mike
tries to take control, and fails. "Um...shields up!" (There
are no shields.) He breaks the hexfield.
Segment
Three: The SOL suddenly begins
plummeting, out of control, death is certain. Mike appeals
to Pearl, but havoc reigns in the castle as a hooded figure
tries to take Bobo's soul. The Soultaker turns out to be
TV's Frank, who is in fact dead and is working as an Angel
of Death. He explains he was in Second Banana Heaven for a
while, "but it was so political up there; Pat Buttram had it
in for me right from the start!" Pearl and Frank have a
great time catching up and insulting Brain Guy. The SOL's
nosedive stops -- they've been saved by a beam from the
mysterious ship.
Segment Four: Crow and Tom wonder about the mysterious ship,
terrified. "Who are you!!!?" cries Crow; the doors open and
Joel Robinson appears. Turns out Joel discovered that Dr.
Forrester had rigged the ship to self-destruct after ten
years, and he came to fix it. Everybody's happy and they all
get reacquainted. Joel comments that Crow's voice sounds
different, and ascribes it to a new bowling pin. He explains
that after he crash-landed in Australia he worked for the
band Man Or Astroman for a while, doing pyrotechnics; now he
manages a Hot Fish Shop in Osseo. Mike appears and is very
impressed with Joel's new job, but is depressed he can't
take the overnight cook job, being stuck in space and all.
Joel cheers him up.
Segment Five: Joel's about done. He explains a few problems
he's found, including some gunk from when Mike tried to
patch something with strips of bacon. They check in at the
castle and discover Frank, who says that Joel's soul is on
his list, so he's going to need that -- "you know, when you
get a minute." Joel leaves, proclaiming he can't take Mike
and the 'Bots because the time he spent on the SOL "made a
man outta me and maybe, just maybe, it'll make a man out of
you too." Mike is grateful. In the castle, Frank needs a
soul, and finally agrees to take Bobo's. Bobo and Frank play
ring-toss with Bobo's soul.
Stinger: Natalie's mom (AKA Joe Estevez) stares
quizzically though an open door.
Reflections:
A major show, to say the
least. Obviously I should explain a little about the "Hot
Fish Shop." The only Hot Fish Shop I know of was, until very
recently, located along Highway 61 in Winona, Minnesota, on
the Mississippi. A local landmark, it closed just weeks ago,
in fact possibly on the very day this show aired for the
first time. I wonder.
Having Joel and Frank around for a few days was cool. I got
to sit with Joel just like the old days and run lines with
him. We actually did some rewriting as he was getting his
makeup done. I like Joel. He's weird, which results in his
being funny. -- Paul Chaplin.
|