MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE
SEASON THIRTEEN: THE GIZMOPLEX, 2022
Episode guide: 1301- SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA
Last modified on 2023-04-03 16:35:38 GMT. 27 comments. Top.
Movie: (1969) The masked wrestler El Santo travels back in time to confront Count Dracula and acquire Dracula’s treasure. Original title: Santo En El Tesoro De Drácula.
Host: Jonah.
Opening: Kinga unveils Moon 1; Max explains what happened to Moon 13. They unveil the Kingadome and the Gizmoplex.
Invention exchange: Jonah gave an unhappy Crow blinkers. Grandma Pearl suggests a different activity, believing that Synthia and new clone Mega-Synthia can handle things.
Segment 1: The bots try regressing Jonah.
Segment 2: Jonah and GPC host QVSanto, the luchador home shopping channel.
Segment 3: Crow and Tom’s trash talk is very kind.
Close: J&tB sing the praises of Perico but there’s trouble in Moon One as the Kingadome is hit by a meteor.
Thoughts:
• The new normal: This season there are two parallel theme songs, sung by Tom Servo (Baron Vaughn in Jonah episodes and Conor McGiffin in the Emily episodes), along with Felicia Day and Paul (Sabourin) & Storm (Sicostanzo).
Jonah episodes:
TOM
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday afternoon
The evil Kinga Forrester
She ran her empire from the moon
Her latest plan was the Gizmoplex
A twisted scheme based on stolen specs
Now she’s pulling the strings from the old Moon base
And she’s back to her experiments with prisoners out in space
KINGA
I’ll send them cheesy movies!
The worst motion picture wrecks (la la la)
They’ll have to sit and watch them all
And we’ll stream them at the Gizmoplex! (la la la)
Now keep in mind they can’t control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
They’ll have to keep their sanity
With the help of their robot friends
Robot Roll Call
Cambot! (TOM: And, action!)
GPC! (TOM: Which one?)
Tom Servo! (TOM: That’s me.)
Crooooow!
If you’re wondering how we eat and breathe
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, “It’s just a show.
I should really just relax!”
ALL
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
• A middling start to the third season of the revived show. Some moderately funny riffs but not a lot of gut-busters.
• This ep marks the first appearance of Yvonne Freese as Mega-Synthia in a TV episode (the character originated as part of the live “Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour).”
• This ep premiered in the Gizmoplex March 4, 2022.
• If Joel ever talked about it anywhere I must have missed it, so, has there been any explanation as to how and why Cambot became a fleet of mini-Cambots?
• GPC swings into the theater to deliver a riff once in the first half, and again in the second half. She also helps out in the “Perico” song.
• The ending bit, where the meteor strike on the Gizmoplex somehow requires Kinga to turn to “Dr. Kabahl, the strange financier from the future,” kind of comes out of nowhere, but it gets fleshed out (somewhat) in future episodes.
• Stinger: Hoods vs. thugs.
• Callback: “Manos, the Hands of … oh, never mind,” (Manos)
• Fave riff: “Is the hubcap dating the second unit director?”
• Honorable mention: “Dream of ear-less silver-faced demons.”
Episode guide: 1302- ROBOT WARS
Last modified on 2023-04-10 20:22:50 GMT. 12 comments. Top.
Movie (1993): In a future hellscape, robot transport pilots battle menacing bandits and deal with foreign spies while pursuing romance.
Host: Jonah.
Opening: Dr. Kabahl visits Kinga and Max from the future, and informs them they must find a second host.
Invention exchange: J&tB are discussing the concept of breathing. Their invention is the “meat cute,” rom com spices. The Mads unveil the Simulator of Love.
Segment 1: J&tB try some girl talk.
Segment 2: Jonah tries to sell the bots on 1990s Crystal Vista.
Segment 3: J&tB present “Stump Talks:” see the world seen through Stumpy’s eyes. GPC helps and Kinga and Max demonstrate.
Close: J&tB have some real robot wars and Synthia brings Emily on board the Simulator of Love.
Thoughts:
• A much stronger episode than the last one, with some very funny riffs and clever host segments. The ep also benefits from an incredibly stoopid movie.
• This episode was made available on April 1, 2022 to Kickstarter backers and on May 7, 2022 to Gizmoplex users.
• The earlier Kickstarter version did not include the credits for the show or a stinger. Other than that, the differences between the two versions are trivial. Both shows contained paid promotional content, promoting various companies that had sponsored the Kickstarter.
• This episode marks the first appearance of Emily Marsh as Emily Conner. It also includes the first appearance of Baron Vaughn as Dr. Kabahl, and I admit he comes off better than he did the first time I watched this ep.
• As several people noted in the comments for the previous entry, this season the pace of the theater riffs has been noticeably slowed down and I have not seen anybody complain about it. The failure to let the riffs “breathe” was definitely the most popular complaint about seasons 11 and 12.
• I’m getting a little worried about Kinga and Max. Is her saying “shut up, Max” and him looking crestfallen all they’re going to do?
• There are, I think, a number of video game references. I’m not sure, because I’m not a gamer, so shoom, right over my head.
• Stinger: Our hero gets spanked.
• Callback: “He’s pretty nice.” (Mac and Me); “Blast Hardcheese!” (Space Mutiny); “BANG!” (Cry Wilderness); “Say, Miss Interocitor!” (This Island Earth) not to mention old favorites “I’m not touching you” and “You look, I’m bitter.”
• Fave riff: “So, wait: the spanking line worked?”
• Honorable mention: “The redeeming line we needed.” and “Ooteenee!”
Episode guide: 1303- BEYOND ATLANTIS
Last modified on 2023-04-20 17:16:46 GMT. 23 comments. Top.
Movie (1973): A sketchy gang of fortune hunters join forces to travel to an exotic island in search of a cache of pearls.
Host: Emily.
Opening: Emily’s bots try ASMR but GPC2 is not helping.
Kinga and Max admire the new “Simulator of Love,” built by lonely Gizmonic Institute worker Emily Connor. Then they strand her there.
Invention exchange: The mads have a toothpaste for hideous plants with teeth. Emily has invented mech hands.
Segment 1: Emily pitches the East Eddie SAT Prep Guide, 70s Dirtbag Edition. Later, Jonah checks in on Emily and she has some criticisms of the lack of show host cooperation.
Segment 2: Crow is the emcee for the game show “Milk & Honey.”
Segment 3: Emily and the bots attend EddieCon.
Close: Emily raps “Mother Crabber,” which features the debut appearance of the smaller and more lightweight GPC 2. Max joins the rapping; Kinga gives it a thumbs down.
Thoughts:
• A couple of lines of the theme song are slightly different in Emily eps. Here’s her version:
TOM
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday afternoon
The evil Kinga Forrester
Ran her empire from the moon
Her latest plan was the Gizmoplex
A twisted scheme based on stolen specs
Now she’s pulling the strings from the old Moon base
And she’s back to her experiments with prisoners out in space
KINGA
I’ll send them cheesy movies
The worst motion picture wrecks (la la la)
They’ll have to sit and watch them all
And we’ll stream them at the Gizmoplex! (la la la)
Now keep in mind they can’t control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
They’ll have to keep their sanity
With the help of their robot friends
Robot Role Call: Cambot!
Cambot: And, action!
GPC! GPC: Which one?
Tom Servo! Tom: That’s me.
Crooooow!
TOM
If you’re wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, “It’s just a show
I should really just relax!”
ALL
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
• This episode was made available on April 29, 2022 to Kickstarter backers and on May 8, 2022 to Gizmoplex users.
• This marks the debut of a second cast. In addition to Emily, there are new versions of the bots, Crow (Kelsey Ann Brady; the first female in that role), Conor McGiffin as Tom Servo and Yvonne Freese as GPC.
• What do I think? Well, overall, it’s too early to be sure. My first impression is that Emily seems the most natural, both in the theater and in the host segments. Kelsey Ann seems a little nervous but that may fade as we go on. I’m not ready to write the second cast off. I’d give the episode a B-plus (they get the plus for how wracked with nerves they had to be).
• I used to regularly mention LOTR references when they did them and it’s nice to see they’re still doing it (although LOTR is no longer the boutique reference it once was).
• Stinger: “What happened?” “Some mother crabber set a trap.”
• Callbacks: “Can’t we get beyond Atlantis?” (Laserblast)
“BANG!” (Cry Wilderness) “Hikeeba!” “That was a lot of money back now.”
• Fave riff: “Early Venmo was sweaty.”
• Honorable mention: “I think the horn speaks for all of us.” Also: “Island Tinder” and “Sleazebags, assemble!”
Episode guide: 1304- MUNCHIE
Last modified on 2023-04-27 17:18:31 GMT. 26 comments. Top.
Movie (1992): A daydreaming youngster acquires a mischievous creature who wants to be his friend.
Host: Jonah.
Opening: The Mads are thrilled that Dr. Kabahl’s plan is working. Meanwhile J&tB are knee-deep in the game GPC chose for game night.
Invention exchange: The Mads have created the Deadmill, an exercise machine for zombies. J&tB have the Sustain-A-Band, a rock show products that can survive rock star mayhem.
Segment 1: J&tB pull themselves together. Jonah disobeys Kinga and gets the oxygen turned off.
Segment 2: Jonah plays bootleg Dom Deluise tapes. Meanwhile Kinga orders around Pearl Synthia, and Mega-Synthia, then refuses Pearl’s desire for quality time. After intermission, The Mads hire Growler and M. Waverly.
Segment 3: Kinga hires Dr. St. Phibes to examine Jonah but instead she explains Munchies.
Close: The movie has fried the bots’ logic circuits. Meanwhile, Jonah and Emily hatch a plan.
Thoughts:
• I have to admit this one was a bit of a slog for me. It may be a good current example of what longtime fans have learned over the years: when a movie is an intended comedy, the episode can be difficult. It’s not impossible but there’s an extra degree of diffuculty. And I think we saw that here. There were some really funny riffs but they were a bit sparse.
• The character up there with Ardy is being voiced by the Man Himself, Ivan Askwith.
• This episode debuted on May 27, 2022.
• Gage recites Galadriel’s famous speech. Again, not as obscure as it once was.
• Dr. Donna St. Phibes, a B-movie monster conservationist and biologist (played by Deanna Rooney) first appeared in the live show and returned in season 12. Now she’s back again.
• A plot between Jonah and Emily begins. We’ll all be on needles and pins.
• Stinger: Gage says: “Gotta be Munchie.”
• Callbacks: “pretty nice” (Mac and Me)
“Guess I’m off to Deathstalker II.”
• Fave riff: “Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!”
• Honorable mention: “Finish him!” “The slide-whistle of imminent doom.” “Parenting: the sometimes job.”
Episode guide: 1305- DR. MORDRID
Last modified on 2023-05-04 17:59:06 GMT. 23 comments. Top.
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Movie (1992): “I had the strangest dream. I was going to play Dr. Strange but then we lost the rights to the characters and we just made the movie anyway.”
Host: Emily.
Opening: E&tB are desperately seeking Roller Derby names that have not been taken. In Moon 1, the Mads are again visited by Dr. Kabahl, who wants to send the Mads on a time travel mission.
Invention exchange: The Mads are enjoying the wonders of soda water. E&tB invent the Gilbert and Celliphone (and Tom sings its theme song). The Mads have the palm-greaser, perfect for delivering bribes.
Segment 1: Tom’s serious lecture morphs into a (bad) comedy routine.
Segment 2: Emily is a guardian of reality but her landlord duties intervene. After intermission, the bots discover her secret orb is a bowling ball.
Segment 3: The bots “shimmy hypnotize” each other.
Close: The bots call a meeting of super hero league The Arrangers.” The Mads welcome Dr. Laurence Erhardt and ask him to use the Time Bag and bring back an MST3K host.
Thoughts:
• I think the fatal flaw in this episode is that the movie is too good. It’s no classic, of course, but it had a coherent plot I could actually follow, likeable characters (for a change), and actors who actually seemed to realize they were making a movie. They didn’t always succeed, but you can see them trying, which is more than you can say for, say, “Munchie.” Some very funny riffs, but they could have been a bit more plentiful. All in all, I got caught up.
As for the host segments. it’s interesting that they mostly were direct parodies of scenes from the movie. Maybe they got caught up too.
• Nice to see J. Elvis Weinstein with a nifty cameo.
• This episode debuted on June 10, 2022.
• Nice Christmas movie discussion.
• This week’s LOTR ref: “One does not simply walk into Mordrid’s.”
• Stinger: Kabal’s minion goes nutzoid.
• Fave riff: “I don’t work with spiders.”
• Honorable mentions: “For God so loved the world thiiiiiiiis much.” “Raymond, don’t! Everybody loves you!” “…Raven.” “…like Ovaltine and circus peanuts.” “They MIGHT be giants.”
Episode guide: 1306- DEMON SQUAD
Last modified on 2023-05-15 17:38:52 GMT. 26 comments. Top.
Movie: (2019) A paranormal investigator finds himself in the middle of a battle for possession of a magical talisman.
Host: Joel.
Opening: In the cold open, Kinga and Synthia are waiting for Dr. Erhardt to return with a host. When he arrives, the host is … Joel! And a somewhat older one at that. But Erhardt didn’t bring Joel’s bots, so Kinga grabs Emily’s bots.
Invention exchange: The Mads have electric lassos, but Joel explains their long history. Joel has given Tom a mood globe.
Segment 1: J&tB present “Fears,” a demon sitcom, but the bots have second thoughts.
Segment 2: Joel gives Tom Servo his original voice back. After intermission, Pearl introduces herself but Joel has no memories of Dr. F ever mentioning her.
Segment 3: J&tB DemonProv, a demon improv show. The Mads are impressed.
Close: The bots want to visit Emily’s again and Synthia and Pearl approve. The Mads have caught the improv bug.
Stinger: Nick makes his move.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on June 24, 2022.
• Joel has brought along with him a digital version of the episodes 101-512 door sequence.
• Fans of Cinematic Titanic know what a gift it is whenever J. Elvis riffs, and this ep demonstrated that again.
• Tom still has his J. Elvis voice in the theater, the first time since season 1.
• Long-time readers of this guide may be aware that I have exactly one criterion for whether I like an episode: am I laughing? In this case, oh my, I was laughing quite a bit. Some very funny stuff in this one.
• This week’s LOTR ref: “That’s a wrap on Sauron.”
• Callbacks: “Pretty niiice.” Somebody gets called a “dickweed.” “Lentils.”
• Fave riff: “Party invites. And cryptocurrancy. Okay, two things.”
• Honorable mention: “To be fair, he does have resting punch face.” “Pete Davidson out.” “All the same room.” “Pregnant pause…” “My one weakness: a firm but gentle push.” “Right in the mysogyny.” “I”m gonna need a larger hangar from which to suspend my disbelief.”
Episode guide: 1307- GAMERA VS. JIGER
Last modified on 2023-05-16 14:59:40 GMT. 18 comments. Top.
Movie: (1970) Cornjob and family are rooting for him as Gamera faces off against monster Jiger, who is threatening Expo ’70 (which was an actual thing).
Host: Jonah.
Opening: In the cold open, Pearl expresses her pleasure with Kinga’s progress but suggests a bit of vacation in the Time Bag.
After the show open: J&tB are navigating a “choose your adventure” murder mystery.
Invention exchange: J&TB present the Telegraph, which tells you if anyone is lying to you about watching your favorite TV show. The Mads have invented the Plasmanator, which converts anything into delicious plasma.
Segment 1: J&tB present Expo Expo exhibits.
Segment 2: Crow is now a student at the Tom Servo school for roaming national accents for children. After intermission, final exams.
Segment 3: J&tB get a visit from Dr. Donna St. Phibes.
Close: J&tB sing Jiger’s Irish funeral song; Max is mourning.
Stinger: Susan lashes out.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on July 22, 2022.
• Kinga does a bit of Clayton-esque 4th-wall breaking during the cold opening.
• This week’s LOTR reference: “Light the beacons!”
• I laughed a bit. This one was moderately funny, with the excellent Irish funeral song a highlight.
• Fave riff: “All according to plan!”
• Honorable mentions: “We go now to the exposition for some exposition about the exposition.” “Second opinion from Dr. Jim Beam.” “Well, your move, Charles Darwin.” “I stink?” “Shut up, Wesley.”
Episode guide: 1308- THE BATWOMAN
Last modified on 2023-05-25 13:47:02 GMT. 14 comments. Top.
Movie: (1968) Wrestler/crime fighter Batwoman battles a mad scientist trying to create human/fish hybrids.
Host: Emily.
Opening: In the cold open: As Kinga and Pearl set off on their vacation (much to Max’s dismay), E&tB get surprising results from 23 and Me.
After the show open: The bots throw Emily a Bot Mitzvah. Meanwhile, there’s some tension between Synthia and Mega-Synthia.
Invention exchange: E&tB show off their Vin Diagram, which tells you what any two Vin Diesel movies have in common. Synthia unveils her duct tape dispenser.
Segment 1: Crow and Tom are mad scientists experimenting on Emily.
Segment 2: Emily attends the Billionaire vigilante gala. After intermission: The billionaires get a new call.
Segment 3: E&tB sell Batwoman franchises.
Close: Kinga and Pearl return and all hell has broken loose.
Stinger: Well, we lost her…
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Aug. 19, 2022.
• Plenty of laughs in this one. Very funny stuff. But though the riffing was great, the movie put me to sleep.
• Callbacks: a Spanish version of “Every Country Has a Monster.” “And watch out for snakes.” “Hi keebat!”
• Fave riff: “When I heard the title ‘Batwoman,’ I knew there’d be a lot water, but this is ridiculous”
• Honorable mentions: “And mink,” “Pull the chain for ping-pong balls,” “Put your hands on your hips…,” “Where was she keeping that smoke bomb?” “Wow, negging totally works,” “I do NOT like the sound of that transmission.” “From here to infirmary” and “A pledge pin??”
Episode guide: 1309- THE MILLION EYES OF SUMURU
Last modified on 2023-06-02 15:38:05 GMT. 16 comments. Top.
Movie: (1967) A pair of CIA agents try to stop a supervillainess’ plans to take over the world.
Host: Jonah.
Opening: In the cold open: A grumpy Dr. Kabalah is brainstorming market penetration ideas.
After the show open: The bots have just discovered the Jonah is tall.
Invention exchange: The Mads have the Mug of Doom, which presents coffee drinkers with horrific images at the bottom of their mug. J&tB have invented Business Skittles.
Segment 1: Tom and Crow are teaching Jonah spy acronyms.
Segment 2: Jonah instructs the bots how to be swingin’ spies. After intermission: The three hosts have a secret rhyming meeting. Joel reveals he has reconnected Magic Voice.
Segment 3: Jonah warns of a coming ion storm. Or does he?
Close: Kinga sings “Supervillainesses.”
Stinger: “President Boong?” “The real one.”
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Sept 2, 2022.
• This movie was originally riffed on May 7, 1989, when the KTMA version of the show was in its final weeks.
• Oops, I had a brain fart and forgot about K03- STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN 2, K04- GAMERA VS. BARUGON, K05- GAMERA, K06- GAMERA VS. GAOS, K07- GAMERA VS. ZIGRA, K08- GAMERA VS. GUIRON, K12- FUGITIVE ALIEN, K14- MIGHTY JACK and K17- TIME OF THE APES. Sorry.
• So, this is NOT the only movie that was riffed twice on MST3K. (RiffTrax has also re-riffed several MST3K movies.) Ardy makes a brief observation about it.
• The jocular spies get a little tiresome after a while, but there were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments. Not to mention another gem from Paul and Storm: “Supervillainesses.”
• Nice reference to Eric Von Zipper.
• GPC gets off a good one: “And I was homeschooled.”
• Fave riff: “Please let us stop! It’s been four days.”
• Honorable mentions: “You’re out of dolly track!” “Kids, the Holy Ghost doesn’t need that much room, okay?” “Beach blanket boyoyung!” “What knockers!” “Statue likey!” “Use the American Express. I want the points.”
Episode guide: 1310- H. G. WELLS’ THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME
Last modified on 2023-07-03 18:19:31 GMT. 14 comments. Top.
Movie: (1979) A madman takes control of a spaceship and tries to destroy a moon colony.
Host: Emily.
Opening: In the cold open, M. Waverly and Growler are reconsidering being boneheads. Meanwhile, Emily is being punked by the bots … again.
After the show open: Home-assembled furniture is causing some strife between Kinga and Max.
Invention exchange: E&tB have invented the roller coaster, which makes every party drink a thrill ride. The mads have turkey holders, which makes immediate use of.
Segment 1: E&tB hold a roast for Sparks the robot.
Segment 2: E&tB present “The Shape of Crimes to Come,” a true crime podcast. After intermission: the podcast continues.
Segment 3: E&tB contemplate love.
Close: Crow has become Crowmus of the long pauses; meanwhile, Kinga hatches a plan.
Stinger: Omus hologram.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Sept. 30, 2022.
• Gotta admit that opening shot of the bots driving a transport vehicle made me want to get up in there and play with it.
• This week’s LOTR references: “Saruman’s Pez dispenser.” “Take a knee, Legolas squad.”
• Slam on Seth Rogan outta nowhere!
• Some good riffs here and there in this one, but not a lot.
• Fave riff: “We’re not getting that security deposit back.”
• Honorable mentions: “Meanwhile at Netflix…” “These Harrison Ford closeups get harder every year.” “Punt!” “Set course for up.” “I should have asked for an epidural.”
Episode guide: 1311- THE MASK 3D
Last modified on 2023-06-15 15:38:54 GMT. 10 comments. Top.
Movie: (1961) An ancient tribal mask has strange powers.
Host: Jonah.
Opening: J&tB are trading scary Halloween stories.
Invention exchange: J&tB demonstrate their Multi Mask. The Mads then show off their Meji Boards, customized ouiji boards.
Segment 1: J&tB and The Mads have donned Halloween costumes, everybody except Jonah, that is.
Segment 2: J&tB update “The Monster Mash” with “They Can’t Come.” After intermission, J&tB switch tactics.
Segment 3: Crow gives Jonah noir therapy, then is joined by Gypsy.
Close: Gypsy is now wearing the mask. The log flume is next.
Stinger: The landlady screams.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Oct. 28, 2022.
• Nice Barnes and Barnes reference.
• This week’s LOTR reference: “My precious!”
• I’d love to know how they pick which riffs are going to be delivered by Gypsy from on high.
• A dark, sticky movie, reminiscent of the movie in episode 806- THE UNDEAD, but not very riffable. I don’t blame the writers, I mostly blame the dull movie and the gimmicky effect.
• Fave riff “The film the lasik community does not want you to see.”
• Honorable mentions: “Down … low … too … slow …” “Yes, call that grown man’s parents right away.” “Good game … good game …”
Episode guide: 1312- THE BUBBLE
Last modified on 2023-06-21 19:09:35 GMT. 30 comments. Top.
Movie: The Bubble (1966). A couple lands in a strange town where the inhabitants are catatonic.
Host: Joel.
Opening: Crow & Tom are trying sell Joel on the concept of “Star Trek”-themed breakfast foods.
Invention exchange: The Mads have Lens-B-Safe, which prevent scratches on your glasses. J&tB have the pop duster, which adds exotic flavoring to movie theater food.
Segment 1: J&tB discuss 3D movies. Meanwhile, M. Waverly and Growler are gathering rocks and flipping radio stations. Joel builds a 3D simulator.
Segment 2: Concerned about Tom’s 3D blindness, Joel invents a cure. Tom becomes part of The Bubble world. After intermission: Joel turns it off.
Segment 3: Joel, Jonah and Emily rhyme their escape plans.
Close: The escape planners convince Pearl the plan was all her idea.
Stinger: Drunken Tony sees floating beer bottles.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Nov. 11, 2022.
• Nice “Patty Duke Show” reference during the invention exchange.
• Ya know, I don’t think The Mads’ invention is that evil.
• Oh, I everlovin’ hate this movie and its icky message. That said, the riff has a lot of great laughs. This one may be one of the best of the season.
• Fave riff “You know what I like about this movie is that reminds us to take our time.”
• Honorable mentions: “You appear to be going through a car wash. Over.” “Or a catcher’s mitt.” “This guy who keeps yelling at me to act better…” “Netflix: those monsters.” “Before you ask, I don’t know. That should cover everything.” “Our selfies. Our humblebrags.” “Recalculating…” “Your work is derivative.”
Episode guide: 1313- THE CHRISTMAS DRAGON
Last modified on 2023-06-29 20:56:25 GMT. 18 comments. Top.
Movie: (2014) A group orphans go on a quest to find Christmas.
Host: Emily, Joel, Jonah.
Cold opening: The rhyming plotters are ready to go. After the open: Kinga, Max and Dr. Kabahl present the triple ripple holiday spectacular/extravaganza.
Invention exchange: Jonah has a B52s wig for Tom. Joel has a perpetual motion machine. Emily has a paperweight that looks like a cinderblock. The Mads have the Missile-toe.
Segment 1: Friar Nolte visits to explain what Christmas is all about. The bots are then transported to Joel’s SOL.
Segment 2: The escape plotters meet again and discuss how they’ll explain their departure to the bots. After intermission: Jonah explains things to his bots.
Segment 3: The Mads get all three riffers in one place, without any of the bots. In the theater, from left: Jonah, Emily, Joel.
Close: Kinga almost foils the escape plot but thanks to the bots, the plotters make it through the Time Bag. Dr. Kahbal renounces the Mads and Kinga is ruined.
Stinger: “The dragon!!”
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Dec. 16, 2022.
• I remembered this as kind of a slog but I really enjoyed it this time and a laughed a lot.
• Lots of LOTR references. “Minas Tirith,” “Tom Bombadil,” “Saruman,” etc.
• Naughty riff: “That’s what the sock is for.”
• Obscure East coast riffs: Longwood Gardens, Dorney Park.
• The reactions to flying off on the dragon are very funny.
• Great line from Joel: “I only know the Mike version.”
• The closing credits have several new Christmas-themed tunes. They also now have a (rather lengthy) “in memoriam” section.
• Fave riff “Ooh, right in the orphan maker.”
• Honorable mentions: “Ah yes, the medieval obsession with cleanliness.” “You’re next, Bran Stark.” “Ooteeny!” “Quick, get it before it renders.” “They prefer the term henchman-American,” “You will never find a wretched hive of scum and whovery.” “You guys can pull a sled, right?”
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