What is the most ill-thought-out plan a villain/hero has come up with on MST3K?
Obviously, we can’t include any of Mike’s numerous attempts to escape the SOL. Also, this pre-supposes that the villain(s) of the film actually have a plan that doesn’t involve lumbering around, randomly killing people until they get shot/electrocuted/disappear for no reason.
My personal favorite is Q from Mighty Jack, with his evil torture box that can blind you… unless you keep your eyes closed.
I’m going to go with Bela’s plot in episode 105- THE CORPSE VANISHES. As Servo (I think) notes in a host segment, abducting a bride on her wedding day is, you know, bound to get noticed.
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Cornjob @83:
In Touch of Satan…
How about selling your soul to Satan so you can get “seconds”?
The guy was an idiot for not leaving. Period. If not sooner, I definitely would have left immediately after she said, “this is where the fish lives”.
I’m going to go with the kid from the “cheating” short. If your teacher can bilocate, appearing in your bedroom as an “Oz the Great and Powerful” like head; you’re really just pushing a rock uphill. Clearly Ms. Granby is a practitioner of the dark arts and you can’t fool witches.
As far as getting souls the hardway (as mentioned by a few folks) what about “Red” the bread delivery demon? Talk about a niche section of the afterlife…
This one is more the fault of the police officers that talk him into it, but the undercover plan to catch the “Wild Rebels” in the eponymous film is totally irresponsible and executed in the dumbest fashion possible. The whole point of the plan is to catch the Wild Rebels doing something terribly illegal like robbing a bank so that the police can lock them away for a long time. So when the Wild Rebels rob the gun store before robbing the bank, shooting the owner in the process, and their undercover man, Rod, is along for the ride, why don’t they arrest them immediately after that? There’s tons of evidence against the Wild Rebels after the gun store heist and a critically or fatally injured civilian too. Instead, the police wait till the next job, the bank heist, to pursue the Wild Rebels, after which there are a dozen more dead people, many of them police officers as well as the suspects. It’s the most incompetent undercover sting operation in history, or the history of cinema anyway!
How about the Devil in Out of This World? His plan to win the bread man back into the bad books is to send Whitey, that wholesome slice of angel food – the very person he’s betting AGAINST – to perform the act of corruption.
#103 reminded me of the scene in Teenagers from Outer Space where the cops simply stroll out of the police station with a prisoner without sending someone out first to make sure the coast is clear. Oh well, everybody gets to be a prisoner in this movie!
@ 98 MikeH says: Well at first I was going to say in Monster A Go Go, the scientist’s plan to hold the monster in the closet while he experiments with an injection for Douglas is kind of stupid, since it seems like he wasn’t held in any restraints. But then again, there was no monster.
I love that. Hilarious!
Underwoc you beat me to it. My first thought was “Angel’s Revenge”. A school teacher and some other concerned citizens take down a large drug syndicate. They do it easily and for the most part painlessly. Hard to believe :roll:
@underwoc and really old: Okay, of ALL the stupidity in the Angel’s Revenge I feel that “Little Trish” showed the most idiocy (next to the drug mules that are SO overwhelmed by the power of breasts that they’re captured and stripped on the beach). She not only is, like, stalking her teacher but she then rides the bumper of the villain who just coldcocked her teacher through the Hollywood hills, gets thrown, hikes up the side of a small mountain, all just to jump out and get shot. I guess it all worked, since she was the one who ultimately kills the big drug overlord who lost “control”. Still her faith that she is somehow immortal due to her involvement with “the 7” seems pretty dang stupid.
#91 NotMerrittStone:
I too always wondered what oily ranch hand Steve had in mind, once Mrs. Tray-sure woke up to find her purse sliced wide open with a buck knife.
Dumbest villain CONN musical instruments – Plan Filming the corporately cynical Mr, B Natural. Reminds me of an anti margarine propaganda films shown in Wisconsin schools.
Can the villians be real?
I’ve gotta give my vote to the atomic hearing aid from Wild World of Batwoman, if only because I suffered through watching the regular version of the movie to write an article on it for The Agony Booth.
Merlin’s plan to release evil into the world and then slowly recover it seemed to work well for him.
Or the various plots of Danger: Diabolik. Steal the diamonds and escape the police by catapolting his colthes from the roof of the castle? How does a gun fire raw emeralds as bullets? And he seemed fairly pleased about being caught and encased in gold.
Let’s not forget the police’s plan in BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS to fly over the desert with an airplane and shoot at whoever happens by, on the theory it’s probably the murderer. :shock:
#113. It was such a good idea they did it again in Red Zone Cuba except it was a helicopter and they bagged a wild Curly.
Even if the guy they were shooting at was the murderer, aren’t you supposed to arrest the suspect? Did all of Coleman Francis’ law officers have jobs in South Africa’s security apparatus before moving to the U.S.?
This is somewhat related to the topic.
I’d like to question Don Lamona’s employment of Palermo as a hit man in the movie Final Justice. Palermo freaks out after getting in a minor traffic accident.
While the points made about Doctor Hale’s plan in Riding With Death have been good, (and I found Robert Denby’s plan in the latter half of that “movie” incomprehensible) I have to mention that at the beginning, Dr. Hale indicates that “The International Oil Cartel” offered to buy all the rights to Tipolodine. If it’s useless, why not sell out and take the money? When you consider how much an average oil company would pay for something like that, even at its theoretical stage, and that Dr. Hale was the research leader, he would have made way more than $10 million from that.
Speaking of Final Justice, Palermo’s Fallacy of the Talking Villain was particularly egregious.
As for Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, I initially made the assumption that Fingal was making some stand against the totalitarian regime led by the Fat Man, but there is actually no indication whatsoever of that at any point in the movie.
Also, in Danger! Death Ray, Bart Fargo actually did no investigatory work after his initial breaking into the minor dock hideout at the beginning of the movie. The only way he ever accomplished anything after that was by picking up clues left by the bad guys when they tried to kill him again and again. If the bad guys had left him alone, he would’ve just uselessly hung out in his hotel suite the entire movie.
The Sword and the Dragon. Ilya has a plan, and it comes in several random phases!
How about Rocket Attack U.S.A., with a hero who fails so spectacularly that he’s killed before the 3rd act of the film?