So, alert reader Mark writes:
Have you thought about a short list of movies that deserved MST treatment but never got it? I was thinking about this over the weekend since I caught part of the 1973 stinker “The Neptune Factor.” The discussion would include a short list (3 to 5), and why it would make a good episode.
Give me time and I could list 50, but I’ll just pick the first three that come to mind.
I would pick:
A*P*E — a big stupid Korean monster movie.
Blood Freak — rivals Red Zone Cuba as the worst movie ever made. I almost hate to inflict it on them. Almost.
And, just to pick one bigger budget title: Mysterious Island, a weird and wonderful of tale of giant bugs and chickens and on a desert isle.
What would you pick?
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I would have to nominate a 1996 straight-to-video/basic cable crapfest called “Tiger Heart”. Basically Van Damme-in-high-school film starring a 14 year old karate student who decides to fight local thugs to halt the building of a shopping mall by their evil, property developing boss.
The movie just takes itself so seriously, it was made to be riffed!
Well didn’t think I’d get to respond to 2 posts but since you both did for mine let me return the favor…:
@#248 SaveFerris – Thanks a lot for your compliment about my film choices. I appreciate it. When even my Mom thinks that Leonard Maltin hasn’t seen even HALF the films in his Movie Guide I think it’s safe to say that most people think he’s “full of it.” Only reason I keep his Movie Guide book around is just for the list of movies more than his supposed star ratings & reviews. I’ve wondered the same thing about the VideoHound Golden Movie Retriever books and I’m sure he’s got a big staff o’ research assts. in his kennel too.
@#250 Invasion of the Neptune Men – I’m the guy who mentioned “Passion Of The Christ” in my post and I actually would NOT want anybody from MST3K riffing on it (and fwiw I don’t think they’d want to either.) Religious films can be quality riffing material mainly because religious faith usually demands that you take it seriously. Now that you mentioned it I’d actually love to see any of the MSTies riff on the entire “Left Behind” series or the religious flicks starring Kirk Cameron (or is he the actual star of the “Left Behind” series?)
Now here are some other turkeys I forgot to mention earlier:
The Gong Show Movie
Red Sonja
Bonfire Of The Vanities
Chris Lark (#252):
Maltin freely admits to having staff. The title page of the 2004 edition (the last one I have), lists, along with Maltin, a managing editor, an associate editor, six contributing editors, a video editor, and three contributors. In his introduction, he calls them “a great staff of dedicated filmaholics.”
“I’ve wondered the same thing about the VideoHound Golden Movie Retriever books and I’m sure he’s got a big staff o’ research assts. in his kennel too.”
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Interesting that you mention the VideoHound movie guide, “Chris” (#252), because that’s one that I (pretty much) trust……….
Although I’m certain you are correct (regarding their having a staff of “reviewers”), for whatever reason, their “tastes”, and mine, seem to really match up (for the most part). Yes, there are plenty of instances of particular movies that we don’t agree on, but overall, this is probably the one guide I would choose, if I could only have one……
Thanks for your response! :smile:
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Oh, and all things “starring” Madonna.
And Solo with Mario Van Peebles.
Some of my favorites are already on the list. I have to second “Impulse” with Shatner’s acting at the top of it’s game, and “The Norseman” also has Crenshaw from “Boggy Creek” in the cast. “Wild Guitar” also has an apperance from the corpses in “Eegah”. So I offer 3 musicals (of a sort):
1. The Fastest Guitar Alive. Roy Orbison’s only starring movie role. He’s a Confederate spy who has a gun built into his guitar, but it doesn’t work right. Unfortunately for Roy and his travelling crew (hiding as a musical troupe) the war ends in the middle of a job. Did I mention the “F-Troop” level Indians? And a song named “Snuggle-Huggle”? (That was the only one Roy didn’t have a hand in writing.) Supposedly Elvis was offered this role and Col. Parker turned it down – who knew they had standards?
2. Bop Girl Goes Calypso. From the late 50s. Bobby Troup (of “Emergency”) is a college student working on a machine that proves popular trends in music. The machine doesn’t lie – calypso will replace rock & roll! Judy Tyler (who’s best known from “Jailhouse Rock”) is the singer who changes music as we all know it.
3. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Early 70s – Santa gets stranded on the beaches of Florida. He tells the kiddies a little story (either a really hippy and shrill “Thumbellina” or an animated “Three Bears”, depending on the print). The Ice Cream Bunny (a mascot from a local amusment park) comes and pulls Santa’s sleigh out just in time. Like just before you damage your set. Annoying kids, Thubellina’s annoying singing voice, a lecherous mole, and the stain on Santa’s pants would make this a good one for riffing.
Hey some movies I forgot!
Master of Disguise
Rocky V
Ishtar
Hulk
In addition to many of the above… AND I didn’t read every single previous comment.
Street Fighter (1994) starring Raul Julia and Jean-Claude van Damme.
Night of the Lepus (1972) giant killer rabbits terrorize Arizona, features DeForrest Kelley in a minor role.
Mosquito (1995) low-budget cheese, perfect for riffing.
Spaced Invaders (1990) It deserves it. Period. I saw this 20 years ago in a theater…I feel old.
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)-Do I really need to explain this one?
One more. “Framed”, staring Joe Don Baker. I saw this on a UHF channel when visiting North Carolina several years ago. It played like “Mitchell” without the coherent plot (there was no frame-up, at least of the actual crime) and the supporting cast lacked the well-knowness of the “Mitchell” cast. And there’s a JDB prison shower scene. It rivals the Mitchell baby oil scene in just sheer revulsion.
The Monolith Monster is pretty good, actually. So is Tarantula.
I would say some films they should have riffed include Reptillicus (awful piece of garbage), The Stuff (decent movie, but a riff would be good, although there is an iRiff for it), Beware! The Blob (awful “sequel”, the 1st is a classic but that could have been riffed as well), The Tingler or any William Castle movie, a Harryhausen film, and The Green Slime (which is a fun movie, but it is pretty bad)
Well, here’s my list:
Godzilla’s Revenge – worst movie in the franchise
Jaws: The Revenge – worst movie in the series
Yongary, Monster from the Deep – extremely bad and cheesy Korean monster flick
Monster from a Prehistoric Planet – very, very bad Japanese monster movie
Gamera vs. Viras (Destroy All Planets) – another cheesy Gamera movie
Gamera: Super Monster – the movie that temporarily killed the franchise
The Giant Claw – see reasons why above
Konga – see reasons why above
I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. These were ones that I thought of off the top of my head.
how about: the fearless vampire killers, and terrorvison.