This one is going to be a tough one: Top 15 funniest shorts. The criterion here is the funnyness of the riffing. I tried to get a list down to 10 and just couldn’t do it, so it’s 15.
In order of apperance:
• SPEECH: USING YOUR VOICE — oh and you need a wire rack.
• CATCHING TROUBLE — Ross is no stranger to raping the land.
• MR. B NATURAL — Mom, Dad, please tell me you heard that!
• JUNIOR RODEO DAREDEVILS — And the crowd goes wild.
• JOHNNY AT THE FAIR — The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in…
• CIRCUS ON ICE — Vomit sprays out in a beautiful technicolor dream…
• HERE COMES THE CIRCUS — And he’s still eating!
• LAST CLEAR CHANCE — Why don’t they look?
• DESIGN FOR DREAMING — This is a rebuttal to Roger and Me!
• A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY — The less said about this, the better…
• WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS? — I put them in my underwear…
• A YOUNG MAN’S FANCY — Alexander Phipps??!!
• SPEECH: PLATFORM POSTURE AND APPEARANCE — I will not do the knee test!
• A CASE OF SPRING FEVER — Oh and no redemption, either!
• ASSIGNMENT: VENEZUELA — I played it over in my mind–Narrow-wide, narrow-wide…
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Ahhh, shorts. Or, Mst3k one-hitters as I call them.
(In order of preference.)
Mr. B Natural – “Oscar Wilde only wished…”
Are You Ready for Marriage? – “Is that like Transformers?”
Young Man’s Fancy – “You got a claw hammer?”
Circus On Ice – “Venison! Venison!”
Hired! – “But he bought the flippin’ car!”
Why Study Industrial Arts? – “No! Wrong! Do it again!”
Appreciating Our Parents – “Tears of shame pour down Tommy’s face.”
Last Clear Chance – “Why don’t they look, Ralph?”
Body Care and Grooming – “Don’t change a tire with your face.”
Here Comes the Circus! – “They’re doing it clown style!”
What To Do on a Date – “Can I bring my boyfriend Dave?”
Speech: Using Your Voice – “Don’t open beer bottles with your teeth.”
A Date with Your Family – “I like my family as a friend.”
Snow Thrills – “Sheep thrills?”
Progress Island, USA – “Here, we’re flying in another trumpet section.”
The Days of Our Years is the greatest short they ever riffed. It is so amazingly dark in tone, and a prime example of “it’s the employees’ fault” corporate propaganda.
And the riffs are brilliant. “There – my problem went away.”
What to Do on a Date (You cant inject puberty, it has to happen over time.)
Here Comes the Devil/Circus
Junior Rodeo Daredevils (Smothered in Gravy, Texas Style)
Chicken of Tomorrow (Dedicated to the Chickens who lost their lives in the Great Chicken War)
Some of these may or may not be the very funniest of all the shorts, but they are certainly my favorite. I know each and every one of these shorts practically by heart.
Every single line is great and they NEVER get old. Honorable mentions to Body Care and Grooming and Circus on Ice, which also never get old.
Chicken of Tomorrow also contains what may be the most quoted line of mine from the show, “Hey CLEAN your Fingers!” As well as the classic simplicity of “…some eggs don’t even exist.”
It’s just the way these lines are delivered that makes them so memorable.
In no particular order:
WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS? – The piercing scream of a freshman.
POSTURE PALS – Ms. Martin, Tommy drew a bong!
AQUATIC WIZARDS – Then they strangle each other with their tow ropes.
CATCHING TROUBLE – Ross tries to towel away the evil, but nothing doing!
MR. B NATURAL – Mr. B, what would you know about dignity?
CIRCUS ON ICE – They are agents of Satan~
WHAT TO DO ON A DATE – “Hello, Kay?” “NO!”
THE TRUCK FARMER – These select few make three cents a day!
WHAT ABOUT JUVENILE DELINQUENCY? – He’s changing into the Incredible Hulk!
LAST CLEAR CHANCE – Why don’t they look?
UNCLE JIM’S DAIRY FARM – Protection from rival farm gangs.
CHEATING – Hi Ms. Grandy- AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
MONEY TALKS – On behalf of all girls none of us are going to the dance with you.
ROBOT RUMPUS – Hey, you can throw things through dad!
A CASE OF SPRING FEVER – I own your ass, fay bot, get back here!
…so put your mouth under a chicken.
Don’t forget to lick the eggs, or have a friend lick them.
This list is somewhat (okay, really) on-the-fly by necessity, since I’m at work (shh!). At any rate, away we go, to quote the Great One:
1.) Young Man’s Fancy. “Oooooh deeeeeear!!!!!”
2.) Money Talks. “Can you borrow me a dollar?”
3.) Last Clear Chance. “I’m gonna go throw myself in the thresher…”
4.) Once Upon A Honeymoon. “‘Honey, is that a gay man on the Johnsons’ roof?’ ‘Should we get a gay man for our roof, honey?'”
5.) Progress Island USA. “Abundant with pink and white people.”
6.) A Date With Your Family. “Eh, sit and spin, ya cruddy skank!”
7.) The Days of Our Years. “Well, you don’t have to hold it there!”
8.) The Home Economics Story. “It’s here already! Oh shoot, I mailed it to myself.”
9.) Design for Dreaming. “Looks like her mother’s little helpers kicked in.”
10.) Keeping Clean and Neat. “Just keep brushing and brushing and saying the name of our Lord and Savior!”
11.) A Case of Spring Fever. “I own your ass, fat boy, get back here!”
12.) Robot Rumpus. “Robot Rump?”
13.) The Chicken of Tomorrow. “Rodents?? Aaaaaah!!!”
14.) A Day at the Fair. “You’ve spent your nickel; we’re done!”
15.) Cheating. “Now was this Ingmar Bergman’s first American film?”
And so many more, but I’ll confine myself to the rules. :wink:
I would definitely replace “Why Study Industrial Arts?” with “Century 21 Calling.” “WSIA” was really slow, in my opinion, without much good riffing or good opportuniies to riff. It just wasn’t a good short, in my opinion.
Buckdat has intrigued me. I wonder what riffs or other Mstisms from the entire spectrum of MST3K do other Msties use in their daily lives? Sampo probably has awesome weekend threads to tantalize us already planned out, yet… I’m curious. :wink:
• SPEECH: USING YOUR VOICE — Don’t forget to use plenty of lip and tongue action.
• CATCHING TROUBLE — Ross is no stranger to raping the land.
• MR. B NATURAL — What is this, “Flight Of The Bumblehead”? Come on!
• CENTURY 21 CALLING – and they want their little yellow vests back
• GUMBY ROBOT RUMPUS – one of my friends died in the kiln today, MOTHER
• CIRCUS ON ICE — Vomit sprays out in a beautiful technicolor dream…
• HERE COMES THE CIRCUS — And he’s still eating!
• WHAT TO DO ON A DATE – Kay has worked on the killfloor. She knows where to deliver the blow.
• DESIGN FOR DREAMING — A subpoena? FOR ME???
• A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY — The less said about this, the better…
• WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS? — Because you’re bad at math…
• HIRED! – Flying elves are back!
• KEEPING CLEAN AND NEAT – You keep scrubbing and scrubbing and saying the name of our Lord and savior.
• A CASE OF SPRING FEVER — Oh and no redemption, either!
• ASSIGNMENT: VENEZUELA — Meeeooow! Meeeoooow!
Wait! I want to replace “Here Comes The Circus” with
AQUATIC WIZARDS – Look! It’s The Go-Go’s!
This brings up a question: are there any plans to release the lost “Mylar” short from the aborted CD-ROM project? Was it even finished?
1. Progress Island USA. It’s a laugh riot from the beginning!
2. Assignment Venuzelea. NARROW!
3. Uncle Jims Dairy Farm.
4. Why Study Industrial Arts?
my top
5. Selling WIzard. Whats with all the hate? I lovee it:
Narrator: Freezers have been made to fit your specific needs!
Tom: What if I need love? :sad:
And Tom wanting a freezer.
Thats my top 5 anyway.
^Sorry for all the mistakes, should of checked it. :???:
Sampo knows I’m a number nerd, so here’s what
we have so far…
(name, mentions, avg place when ranked)
Mr. B Natural ,17 , 2.000
Hired! – pt2 ,17 , 6.750
Last Clear Chance ,16 , 6.000
Spring Fever ,16 ,10.800
What To Do…Date ,15 , 6.250
Cheating ,14 , 7.250
Date w/ Family ,14 , 9.250
Days of Our Years ,13 , 8.000
Design Dreaming ,13 , 8.750
Robot Rumpus ,13 ,11.250
Industrial Arts ,12 , 9.000
Junior Rodeo ,12 , —
Catching Trouble ,11 , 2.000
Circus on Ice ,11 , 4.667
Here Comes Circus ,11 , 7.000
I just want to say that I’m glad that Sampo has left the comments open for this rather than close it on May 27th as originally stated.
Theres lots of times I just dont have time to comment but would like to, and leaving these weekend discussions open for further commenting is a good idea. They are all great topics that are fun to read and participate in.
It’s also funny to read all the different riffs that people latch onto as being their favorites.
There is such a wide variance of peoples most liked ones.
Some that don’t do much for me are for other people, great. Then riffs I love are not cared for by others.
Thats why there can never be any definitive lists, and thats why its important to not get bogged down into saying a certain episode is universally loved or hated.
Some episodes are downright loathed by certain fans, and then in some other posting, the same episode is championed by someone, or a multitude of people.
You guys suck at this.
Money talks is clearly #1
WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS?:”Looks like he made his shirt out of wood.”
AQUATIC WIZARDS: “What’s ‘malentum’?”
CHICKEN OF TOMORROW: “Good chicks come from good eggs.” “Why thank you, young man.”
But there’s one from ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE? that I can’t figure out. Who the heck is “Herr Oburst”?
Mary-
“Oberst” is a military rank in Germany. So, literally translated, it means “Mr. Colonel”. I think Crow is merely commenting that Prof. Hill looks German. Or else it’s yet another one of those wonderful vague riffs the show is dripping with.
“It’s too technical, sir!”
Century 21 Calling- “I feel good about me! :lol:
Mr. B Natural- (Sorry I can’t narrow it down to one riff)
General Hospital- “This is props. Please don’t eat the cake,”
So hard to pick .. the shorts are ALL funny. It’s a great format for them to work with, some of the new RIFFTRAX shorts are nearly as well-riffed as these classic ones
Mr. B Natural – All Time Fave, endless nightnare fuel.
Progress Island USA – Awesome critique of corporate imperialism, fantastic riffing. Funny every time.
Snow Thrills – For the Bob Dobbs Riff “It’s the sled of the SubGeinus” (aka. BOB-sled)
Last Clear Chance – both the short and the “Why don’t they look?” skit after
A Date With Your Family – Another hilariously funny & well-riffed short on social customs of the 1940s(?)
Thank you, Gizmonic Temp.
ROBOT RUMPUS: “I’m gonna glaze your backside, young man!”
PROGRESS ISLAND USA: “Latka Gravas goes to class.” “Tenk you veddy much!”
ASSIGNMENT: VENEZUELA: “Our man in Venezuela, Pee Wee Herman.”
THE DAYS OF OUR YEARS: “I’m watching you feel good.”
WHAT TO DO ON A DATE: “Swimming meets, for example…” “Are very dull.”
ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON: “He’s trying to have a Montclair moment.”
Progress Island all the way!
Merciless, funny and fast paced. It’s my high water mark for shorts, with probably Hired! (boths parts) in second.
Oh Golly. Here it Goes:
CHEATING – The floating Miss Gramby head still gets me.
HIRED PART 1 – Selling cars door to door? Seriously?
HIRED PART 2 – We’re gonna do it the way my old man showed me. You..put a hankerchief on your head..you..swat at imaginary elves.
GUMBY IN ROBOT RUMPUS – A Gumby riff! Hell yeah!
CASE OF SPRING FEVER – NOOOOOO SPPPRRRIIINGGGS!!
X MARKS THE SPOT – Boy God DOES have a crummy office.
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE? – It’s gone! Where did it Go!? WE’RE GONNA DIE!!
ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON – Dear…God!!!
SPEECH: USING YOUR VOICE – Do NOT do the knee test…unless you’re Carmen Electra.
HERE COMES THE CIRCUS – Here…comes..THE DEVIL!!
POSTURE PALS – Their chances of being cool…are ruined for life. Plus they’ll go to Burger King and get crappy hats.
APPRECIATING OUR PARENTS – Dad pulls the lever at the big house, mom supresses her hopes and dreams while Tommy re-sews his own shirt..and rejoins the Village People.
LAST CLEAR CHANCE – Would you identify this bucket full of your brother?!!
WHAT TO DO ON A DATE – A weeney Roast? NICK NOOO!!!!
THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES – America’s favorite Deacon of Death.