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Episode guide: 904- Werewolf

Movie: (1996) A man develops lycanthropy when he’s injured by werewolf bones unearthed at an archeological dig.

First shown: 4/18/98
Opening: Mike thinks he’s James Lipton
Intro: After being de-Liptonized, Mike attempts to escape down a ladder to Earth, only to arrive at Castle Forrester
Host segment 1: Mike and Tom present who would be in their werewolf movie, but Crow isn’t as good at it
Host segment 2: M&TB sing “Where, o, werewolf”
Host segment 3: Mike has become a werecrow!
End: Mike is still Crow, Tom has become Mike; in Castle Forrester, Bobo ruins Pearl’s attempt to create a werewolf
Stinger: “This is absolutely fascinating!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (391 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)

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• Bill’s take is here.
• Now THIS…this is MST3K at its best. I would stack this episode up against any other one from any era. Even if you’re a total Sci-Fi-era naysayer, you’ve still got to love this one. The riffing is brilliant, the segments (well, most of them) are fantastic and the movie is, oh, so very ripe for riffing. It’s just great in every way. Did I mention how much I like this episode?
References.
• Obscure reference not in above: King Timahoe, Richard Nixon’s dog.
• I think I told this story once before, but it needs to be told here. Sci-Fi Channel threw a little wingding in New York City just before this season started, to drum up some publicity. They invited all the major TV press people and most of them came (including my pal and former mentor David Bianculli). In front of a packed amphitheater were Mike and Kevin and I can’t quite remember who else. I don’t think Bill was there and I don’t recall Jim being there, but I could be wrong on both counts.
In any case, in the audience was none other than James Lipton. I suspect he had been put up to it, but during the press conference, he rose and attempted to ask Mike some of the Bernard Pivot/Marcel Proust questions he famously asks his guests on “Inside the Actor’s Studio.”
Now, I can’t say for sure what was going on with Mike, but I strongly suspect he was having one of his famous headaches. I’ve been around him when he’s had one, and in general he is, at best, quiet and cool, and at worst surprisingly short-tempered. I think that explains what happened. The other explanation would be that Mike simply has no use for James Lipton, especially at an event where the purpose was to focus media attention on his TV show, and not Mr. Lipton’s.
Anyway, Lipton asked Mike: “What is your favorite curse word?” and Mike, slowly and with a pained expression his face, replied something to the effect of “I would have to say that it’s: ‘Go to hell, Mr. Lipton.'” Lipton didn’t attempt to ask him any more questions.
• This was the episode Sci-Fi Channel submitted for Emmy consideration. It was not nominated.
• Host segment 1 is one of those “bit about not quite being able to manage to do a bit” bits. They’re a bit wry for my taste.
• The song in segment 2 became an instant classic.
• M&tB are still wearing their girl group hair as they return to the theater.
• Segment 3 is a gem featuring the instantly beloved line: “Well, your voice is going to change inexplicably every seven years…”
• Mike is still a werecrow when he returns to the theater
• At the end of the movie, just when you think they can’t possibly top what they’ve done so far, we get the brilliant closing credits song, in which they chime in with an eclectic mix of songs that they think fit the song’s rhythm. Don’t recognize them all? They’re all identified here and here.
• Ya know, considering that Kevin is the most musically experienced of the three riffers, it’s kind of surprising that Servo messes up the tempo a couple times during the song.
• Of course, the cocker spaniel seen in the final segment was Kevin’s beloved Humphrey. Humphrey lived a long and happy life and has, um, “gone to live on a farm upstate.”
• Cast and crew roundup: Joe Estevez was also in “Soultaker.” That’s it.
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Kevin. Intern Dan Breyer took a one-episode break after this show, then returned for three more episodes. That’s Beez as the peasant.
• Fave riff: “Okay, stop. Everyone go up a shirt size.” Honorable mention: “I’m still in this movie, ya know! You might not think I am, but I am!”

237 Replies to “Episode guide: 904- Werewolf”

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  1. thequietman says:

    As I said four years ago, this was one of my favorite episodes from the first time I saw it. Great movie, great riffing, and host segments that are a great throwback to the Comedy Central era. You have the ‘host thinking he’s someone else’ opener, the musical number, and the school report with visual aids. What more could you ask for?

    So much fun…

    Fave riff
    “We could always use another pretty face around here!”
    Another…??

       5 likes

  2. littleaimishboy says:

    re the lady from No Pants Realty Corp. –

    She goes to visit fully werewolfified Paul, in a non-professional capacity, towards the end of the movie, if so it can be called, and for that kind but incomprehensible action gets thrown back down to the entrance hall from I think the third floor. Result?

    She kinda shakes her head for a moment and then walks away.

    Yeah, there ain’t no weaklings workin’ at NPRC!

       5 likes

  3. Johnny Drama says:

    “Even if you’re a total Sci-Fi-era naysayer, you’ve still got to love this one” – ehh, no, you don’t.

    I’ll go back to my previous thoughts:
    The only thing special going on in this episode is the end credits. That was funny. The rest of the episode, ehhh. No idea why this one is held in such high regard. It’s a typical direct-to-video movie of the mid-nineties, movies like this were a dime a dozen then. But, to each their own.
    I think the next two episodes are far superior to this one, and they are always overlooked.

    Looks like there’s a few more who hold my sentiment since a few years back:
    @62, wow I just went through all of the comments, and it looks like you and me are the only ones who don’t like this episode. Huh. I guess we really are the outcasts of the MSTie community. I swear, the more I watch this one, the less I like it. Oh well, JJK, let’s start a club lol. (I do like it more than Space Mutiny, though.. :) )

    A post I wholeheartedly agree with:
    This one’s okay, but I don’t understand the love. The movie for me is just grating. I hate 1990s direct-to-video films. They’re just such an unremarkable kind of lousy. The riffing is fine, but the movie is just annoying. Most of those 1990s direct-to-videos should just be buried and forgotten. Blah. The credits song is legendary, however.

    Yes, the end credits are amazing. And they’re the only thing remarkable in this episode.

    Doug:
    As I’ve mentioned many times before, this is my all-time favorite episode. Since it’s Mike, Kevin and Bill riffing on a then-recent movie, I consider it the unofficial birth of Rifftrax.

    I’d say the birth of Rifftrax was one of the Little Gold Statue Preview specials they did, they even got Titanic in there.

       1 likes

  4. Johnny Drama:
    This one’s okay, but I don’t understand the love. The movie for me is just grating. I hate 1990s direct-to-video films. They’re just such an unremarkable kind of lousy. The riffing is fine, but the movie is just annoying. Most of those 1990s direct-to-videos should just be buried and forgotten. Blah. The credits song is legendary, however.
    Yes, the end credits are amazing. And they’re the only thing remarkable in this episode.

    As usual, covered the same complaints I had (shh, don’t let them find out you’re in my clandestine pay and employ as an offshore duplicate account! ;) ), but I agreed that the end is the only big standout.
    When we get the usual forced “Obligated Time-Filler End-credits sketch”–like the “Femmy Movies Game” on Alien From LA, because Cannon Pictures naturally reminded them of “Shy People”–it’s such three clock-ticking get-it-the-hell-over-with minutes of forced material, we feel like we’re back to watching three B-list standup comics think they’re brilliant, like MK&B would ever think that…But respond to the onscreen movies with a bit of cheap-seats silliness, and they’re back to being a heckling audience again.

    I’d say the birth of Rifftrax was one of the Little Gold Statue Preview specials they did, they even got Titanic in there.

    Yeah, that was the point where MK&B first tasted that self-aware Friedberg & Seltzer blood of “I hate current 90’s movies for being everywhere!”, and learned to break away from from taking paychecks for bad Legend Colorized versions of Little Shop of Horrors and House on Haunted Hill, to become a Festival of Twilight Jokes and the liberating church of Anakin-hate…And they’ve been Real Professional Comedy Professionals ever since.

       0 likes

  5. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Johnny Drama:

    I swear, the more I watch this one, the less I like it.

    Er, then why do you continue to watch it? It’s like, oh, someone who hates Rifftrax yet compulsively reads and posts on every single thread about Rifftrax, just to bitch and troll. If there’s an MST episode I hate on first viewing, I give it one more chance to see if maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood the first time around, but if I still hate it, that’s it, no more. The Starfighters comes to mind. There are also some host segments I won’t watch again because I know I don’t like them.

    Anyway, I LOVE Werewolf. Definitely in my top ten, maybe top three; it always makes me laugh. Hilariously moronic characters, great riffing, great host segments.

       19 likes

  6. Sitting Duck says:

    Creeping-Death:
    Something else that I forgot, when I commented earlier:Does anyone else think that “Last Kiss” by Wayne Cochran and others sounds a lot like and may have inspired “Where o Werewolf”?

    Perhaps, though it’s more likely their take on the Teen Death songs of the Fifties.

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: 1. Capture werewolf
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT

    Not too different from EvilCo’s business plan in Time Chasers.

    1. Irrevocably wreck timeline
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT

       6 likes

  7. Sitting Duck: Perhaps, though it’s more likely their take on the Teen Death songs of the Fifties.

    Not too different from EvilCo’s business plan in Time Chasers.

    1. Irrevocably wreck timeline
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT

    Perhaps Evil Co., like some of our modern tech companies, sold Time Transports to anyone who would pay?

       1 likes

  8. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    mikek:
    “There’s a business up there simply called ‘R’.

    Why not? A business called “R” is at least memorable and a business called “Simply R” nearly as much so.

    Brandon:
    I still wonder what Humphrey was thinking when seeing his owner dressed up in a ridiculous monkey suit.

    I’d imagine that he took it all in stride and didn’t give it much thought at all. That’s because he’s a DOG.
    ;-)

    Cabbage Patch Elvis:
    And he needs to quit being so homophobic about Count Dracula.He’s just festive, that’s all. (Not that there’d be anything wrong if he were..)

    Actually, it’s not uncommon for gay people to refer to themselves and each other with the slurs used against them by bigots (“claiming the words as their own OSLT”) — not unlike how it’s “okay” for African-Americans to use the N word — so if Sam himself was gay, the metaphorical charges could be dropped. Whether or not Sam would qualify as a “bear” I’m less certain about.

    fathermushroom:
    I always thought the driving werewolf was a perfect opportunity for a “Nipsy Russell!” shout out.

    As someone whose childhood was mostly in the 1970s (so that whole “free love” thing was utterly wasted on me), I of course know who Nipsy Russell WAS (I also know WHERE he was in the 1970s: pretty much everywhere), but otherwise, would someone mind unpacking this one for me? Thanks. :-)

    “Lady, that ain’t no patch, that’s me.”

       2 likes

  9. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Sitting Duck:

    Anyone else think that Yuri looks a bit like Jeff Conway?

    “Jeff Conway” was a pseudonym of Slovenian jazz & pop musician Jože Privšek (1937 –1998) (I looked it up). Yes, scenic Slovenia, homeland of the horses from Ben-Hur and of Melanie Trump. Oh, it’s TRUE.

    Do you mayhap mean Jeff Con*A*way, star of “Dark Underpants,” “The Crotchless Killers,” “The Waco Panty Raid,” and other non-existent USA Network films? ;-)

    Sitting Duck:

    So where was the intense observation of the patient?

    Budget cuts, y’know.

    Sitting Duck:

    Does the unedited version of the movie explain the presence of Dictator For Life Santa?

    The EDITED verson explains that. He’s the groundskeeper. Carrie said so.

    Sitting Duck:

    During the course of the fight, they stomped all over the Ark of the Covenant.

    They chose…unwisely.

    Sitting Duck:

    So they put suspected werewolves in the neo-natal unit.

    Budget cuts, y’know.

    Sitting Duck:

    The dead sheep was here when I moved in.

    Which reminds me of a minor detail from the career of a real-life serial killer that I’m quite certain no one wants to hear.

    MSTie:
    Apparently the director didn’t care that the guards’ uniforms didn’t even remotely look similar.

    Budget cuts, y’know. Push-me-pull-you exhibits don’t grow on trees.

       2 likes

  10. Johnny Drama says:

    Yeti of Great Danger: Er, then why do you continue to watch it?It’s like, oh, someone who hates Rifftrax yet compulsively reads and posts on every single thread about Rifftrax, just to bitch and troll.If there’s an MST episode I hate on first viewing, I give it one more chance to see if maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood the first time around, but if I still hate it, that’s it, no more.The Starfighters comes to mind.There are also some host segments I won’t watch again because I know I don’t like them.

    Anyway, I LOVE Werewolf.Definitely in my top ten, maybe top three; it always makes me laugh.Hilariously moronic characters, great riffing, great host segments.

    For some episodes, it’s taken me upwards of five to ten viewings before something clicked. Red Zone Cuba is a great example of this. I used to just absolutely dread it, then one day, I gave it what was probably the 7th or 8th attempt, and it suddenly was the funniest thing ever. It’s still not an absolute favorite of mine, but it went from the bottom of the barrel to the upper half. There was a time when I couldn’t sit through a Season One episode, now I enjoy MST3K’s quiet beginnings.
    There are about nine episodes of the series that instead of growing on me with each consecutive watch, I end up liking less. I continue to rewatch them occasionally, hoping someday, I’ll get the joke. It’s my favorite show, why don’t I like the episodes that are the among the most popular? But, I even enjoyed Overdrawn more the last time I watched it, so anything’s possible. But you may be right, it could be time to let those episodes go. Good thing we’re past them in the episode guide.
    I pretty much enjoy the rest of the run from here out. Werewolf is the last episode of the run I really don’t care for. More viewings of The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t may put it in the running, though. Why next week’s entry, The Deadly Bees or the week after, The Space Children, aren’t as revered as Werewolf baffles me. They’re really solid, above average episodes.
    But, I’ll say it again, you can’t argue with Werewolf’s end credits sequence. It may be the best ever.

       5 likes

  11. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    bad wolf:
    I have a lot of love for this one but host segment 3 always seems off to me–i think because if you compare Crow’s self description here with the one from his convo with Gypsy in 421-Monster-a-Go-Go, they are describing completely different characters.

    Well, for all intent and purpose Comedy Central Crow and SF Channel Crow ARE completely different characters — I’ve mentioned that before, right? — so it works out, then. ;-)

    Creeping Terror:
    By the way, there are two songs from the Rogers and Hammerstein canon (“The Lonely Goatherd” and “Surrey with the Fringe on the Top”) that they sing in the closing credits.Does anyone know who the writer(s) with a penchant for musical theatre is/are?I used to work in theaters to pay my way through college, so those jokes always get me.

    I’m not sure two songs implies a penchant.

    No, wait, THIS is a penchant:

    Sharpie Gel Pentel
    GO WITH THE FLOW
    Sharpie Gel Pentel
    GO WITH THE FLOW
    Sharpie Gel Pentel
    GO WITH THE FLOW
    Sharpie…

    AlbuquerqueTurkey:
    BTW, I think Mike is very into Gilbert and Sullivan – he also sings “Model of a Modern Major General” in Horror at Party Beach.

    If he’s very into Gilbert and Sullivan, it’s kind of odd that he’d use the same song twice when there are so many others (Servo also referred to “Model of a Modern Major General” in Deadly Mantis).

    Heck, *I* know most of the lyrics to “Model of a Modern Major General” and the only time I’ve ever heard a Gilbert and Sullivan song was on an episode of The Muppet Show where Bernadette Peters and a giant carrot sang, coincidentally enough, “Model of a Modern Major General.”

    Another song I never heard until last year was ‘Walking in Your Footsteps’.Until then, I almost wondered if, “Tell me mighty Brontosaurus, don’t you have a message for us”, was some sort of mutilated Wizard of Oz reference.

    I respectfully request that this one be unpacked for me as well. Thanks. :-)

    The Bolem:
    On the other hand, I’ve had ‘The Battle of New Orleans’ commited to memory since the 4th grade, so it was hilariously strange to hear its refrain sung so close to Chili Peppers’ lyrics.Misquoted a bit, but, “…and they ran through the places where a rabbit wouldn’t go”,

    PLACES? Where they did THINGS?

    “Running through the places” sounds so “dirty”…

    Smoothie of Great Power:
    * Too bad the additional scenes with Miss Carrie were also cut. She’s the best-looking woman in the whole movie (out of all 2 of them, I know).

    There were some in the bar sequence, too. Martha and her two-for-one brainhammer-loving friend, remember? ;-)

       2 likes

  12. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Johnny Drama: For some episodes, it’s taken me upwards of five to ten viewings before something clicked. Red Zone Cuba is a great example of this. I used to just absolutely dread it, then one day, I gave it what was probably the 7th or 8th attempt, and it suddenly was the funniest thing ever. It’s still not an absolute favorite of mine, but it went from the bottom of the barrel to the upper half. There was a time when I couldn’t sit through a Season One episode, now I enjoy MST3K’s quiet beginnings.
    There are about nine episodes of the series that instead of growing on me with each consecutive watch, I end up liking less. I continue to rewatch them occasionally, hoping someday, I’ll get the joke. It’s my favorite show, why don’t I like the episodes that are the among the most popular? But, I even enjoyed Overdrawn more the last time I watched it, so anything’s possible. But you may be right, it could be time to let those episodes go. Good thing we’re past them in the episode guide.
    I pretty much enjoy the rest of the run from here out. Werewolf is the last episode of the run I really don’t care for. More viewings of The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t may put it in the running, though. Why next week’s entry, The Deadly Bees or the week after, The Space Children, aren’t as revered as Werewolf baffles me. They’re really solid, above average episodes.
    But, I’ll say it again, you can’t argue with Werewolf’s end credits sequence. It may be the best ever.

    It’s the movie, usually. I think movies like Werewolf or Space Mutiny are amusing even without the riffs. The riffs are icing on the cake.

    Bland, bleak, lifeless movies are a complete slog for me. I like Red Zone Cuba, but I find a charm in its earnest ineptitude. I non-ironically enjoy John Carradine’s song. I don’t see it as lifeless. I can admire the effort the Brains put into Manos, and I love the host segments, the short, and even the first 1/3rd of the movie, but the last half of the episode is such a soulless drag I can barely stand it. I do think bland episodes have value for their narcoleptic effect. I always think MST is comforting and even the bland episodes are soothing. It beats sleeping pills to treat insomnia.

    I’ll admit to finding a larger portion of episodes with B&W movies to be bland and lifeless. When I watch something like Space Children I drift off less than half-way through. I don’t think I’ve seen it in its entirety. I don’t doubt the Brains put in a valiant effort, I just can’t stay awake.

    It’s the movie! It’s always the movie that tips the scales.

       2 likes

  13. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Johnny Drama, thanks for the explanation. You are WAY more patient than I am or could ever be; I’d stab my eyes out before watching something 7 or 8 times hoping I liked it eventually. Now, let’s you and I both start early on our love for The Deadly Bees! (Another of my all-time favorites)

       5 likes

  14. I love love love this episode. It’s one of the first ones I saw back in the sci-fi era and it’s a great one to start newbies on. My second fav of all time and my fav Mike episode.

    What makes it work is every single character in this movie is riffable and hilarious. That makes up for it’s rather predictable plot (usually I like more WTF moments). The guys have a lot of fun with this one with no real dead spots. Host segments aren’t as great. Who do you want in your werewolf movie is not funny at all and the werecrow bit feels like yet another boring iteration of ‘crow dresses like something in the movie). The song however is a classic and the joke at the end about mike going out with a guy named Steve always gets a laugh out of me.

    Perfect pairing of movie and riffing. One of the best things done by anyone ever.

       3 likes

  15. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Cornjob:
    Why was the militia guy praying for the police instead of calling 911 or for that matter just leaving?

    He wasn’t a “militia guy” because there was never any reference to him being a member of a militia. He dressed in military fatigues and carried a gun, yes, but he seems to have been a solo effort.

    That said, and the distinct possibility that Sam is nuttier than a cheese log aside, what 911 operator would take him seriously? Where in the world was he going to go? Who’s going to even let that guy past their doorstep at three in the morning?

    GaryC:
    One day while driving through Hollywood (CA) I turned and saw a guy who looked a lot like Sam “the keeper” on the bus stop. I looked closer and it was him. I stopped, introduced myself and took a picture with him. Then I actually gave him a ride. Very nice man.

    So, not Hollywood, the United Emirates, then. Gotcha. I presume you didn’t think to ask him any of the questions to be found here, or you’d have mentioned that too. ;-)

    Smoothie of Great Power:
    “That was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.” – Crow

    Or at least throwing up his hands and saying “I just don’t KNOW”…

    The Bolem:
    I also liked all the host segs, even thought the girl-group thing seemed oddly non-sequitur.

    Non-sequiturs, “odd”? Do you even LIVE here?
    ;-)

       1 likes

  16. Speedy B. says:

    Same gas station.

       1 likes

  17. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    >>>schippers: This might be the strangest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen.

    >>>The Original EricJ: As far as “strangest”, Neil Jordan and Philippe Mora say hi, but Werewolves Behind the Wheel (why don’t they look?) certainly puts it up there. Not much else, but that’s certainly 30 for this movie.

    Well, schippers said it MIGHT be the strangest, remember?
    ;-)

    Depressing Aunt:
    Kevin had the cutest, kissiest dog ever. “Hmm, you’re wearing an ape mask and wig. Okay. I will kiss you now.”

    Oh, so domesticated animal Humphrey somehow knew what an APE is? Is that what you’re telling us? THAT’S your story?
    ;-)

    Watch-out-for-Snakes:
    Werewolf is a terrible werewolf movie (and there are some wretched werewolf movies out there)

    Really? Which ones?

    Cornjob:
    And my god Paul is one of the worst protagonists in any movie. The Pumaman may have failed almost everything he attempted, but at least he tried to do things. Paul just gets beat up, turns into a werewolf, gets beat up, and infects his friend-with-benefits with a bad make up job.

    Well, that’s more than YOU’VE done, I bet…
    ;-)

    J.Ho:
    My only kid’s name is Elgin

    I can but presume that “Throw the Football DIRECTLY at My Face” had already been dibbed by some other parent…

    I’m sorry. That was very bad of me.

    Cornjob:
    And did the bad guys think they would get a Nobel Prize for digging up and failing to quarantine an infectious disease?

    No, they thought they’d get that almighty dollar, buckets full of ducats, that green ammunition, shekels, pesos, cabbage, bank rags, money money money money MONEY.

    And fame, that too. FAME and FORtune, FAME and FORtune…

    Also, I’m not sure Noel was a bona fide bad guy. I mean, yes, he’s Richard Lynch and that’s certainly not encouraging, but otherwise…

    Sitting Duck:

    Would you mind eating this jar of meat tenderizer before I kill you?

    Isn’t meat tenderized applied to the exterior of the meat? Since it’s very rare for meat to HAVE an interior, I would think so.

       2 likes

  18. Lawgiver says:

    Johnny’s nonchalance: It’s the movie, usually. I think movies like Werewolf or Space Mutiny are amusing even without the riffs. The riffs are icing on the cake.

    Bland, bleak, lifeless movies are a complete slog for me. I like Red Zone Cuba, but I find a charm in its earnest ineptitude. I non-ironically enjoy John Carradine’s song. I don’t see it as lifeless. I can admire the effort the Brains put into Manos, and I love the host segments, the short, and even the first 1/3rd of the movie, but the last half of the episode is such a soulless drag I can barely stand it. I do think bland episodes have value for their narcoleptic effect. I always think MST is comforting and even the bland episodes are soothing. It beats sleeping pills to treat insomnia.

    I’ll admit to finding a larger portion of episodes with B&W movies to be bland and lifeless. When I watch something like Space Children I drift off less than half-way through. I don’t think I’ve seen it in its entirety. I don’t doubt the Brains put in a valiant effort, I just can’t stay awake.

    It’s the movie! It’s always the movie that tips the scales.

    Absolutely! I love the goofy B/W movies, but the ones that are real downers, for me even the great riffing can’t save them (like Kitten with a Whip or I Accuse My Parents). And my least favorite episode is Sidehackers because the movie is the worst of all that they’ve riffed.

    I like this one, but it’s not one of my favorites. The credits sequence is of course awesome, and Mike as a were-Crow is hilarious.

       0 likes

  19. Sitting Duck says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: Do you mayhap mean Jeff Con*A*way, star of “Dark Underpants,” “The Crotchless Killers,” “The Waco Panty Raid,” and other non-existent USA Network films? ;-)

    I know him better for his role as Zack Allan on Babylon 5, but yes that one. Stupid typo.

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: Well, for all intent and purpose Comedy Central Crow and SF Channel Crow ARE completely different characters — I’ve mentioned that before, right?

    And I maintain that it’s the same character. It’s just that after five hundred years of being alone on the Satellite of Love with only back issues of George to read, some traits have become more pronounced, while others are less pronounced.

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: So, not Hollywood, the United Emirates, then. Gotcha.

    A bit of research shows that there are towns named Hollywood in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and even England and Ireland.

       2 likes

  20. GareChicago says:

    The Original EricJ:

    …we feel like we’re back to watching three B-list standup comics think they’re brilliant, like MK&B would ever think that

    Delete your account.

       18 likes

  21. littleaimishboy says:

    Sitting Duck: Perhaps, though it’s more likely their take on

    “Leader of the Pack” by the Shangri-Las, 1964.

       7 likes

  22. touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    >>>schippers: This might be the strangest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen.

    >>>The Original EricJ: As far as “strangest”, Neil Jordan and Philippe Mora say hi, but Werewolves Behind the Wheel (why don’t they look?) certainly puts it up there. Not much else, but that’s certainly 30 for this movie.

    Werewolf is a terrible werewolf movie (and there are some wretched werewolf movies out there)
    Really? Which ones?

    Anything with “Howling” in the title that isn’t directed by Joe Dante.
    Hence the Philippe Mora joke–Both the S&M Eurotrash “Sybil Danning shows her boobs” #2, and the Goofy Ozploitation #3 are the works of an incoherent schizophrenic lunatic, and think Mora even admitted it, on the commentaries.
    But why ask us when you can ask Joe Bob?: https://youtu.be/lGdy23-S7GM?t=2m25s

    Neil Jordan’s “The Company of Wolves” is actually pretty good, though, if you know Jordan was deliberately trying to out-Lynch “Eraserhead” for “dream imitation” filmmaking.

       2 likes

  23. Ray Dunakin says:

    I think this is a great episode. The movie is stupid and goofy, with a plot that doesn’t make very much sense. Yet it’s also reasonably well-shot and watchable. Definitely a nice change of pace from the usual MST3K fare. There are so many riffing opportunities, resulting in a consistent stream of quality riffs. And the “Mike as were-Crow” skits are hilarious!

    I get that the ’90s direct-to-video movies aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Most of us have one or more genre that just doesn’t excite us, or even turns us off altogether. On the other hand, that’s no excuse for a certain someone to spew his usual bile.

    I think my favorite riff from this episode comes right at the beginning, during the opening credits with the Native American singing:

    “It’s a song about how loose their slots are!”

       5 likes

  24. PJ says:

    The Winnie the Pooh riff is so funny because it’s so true. Why do people try to hide a weight issue by wearing clothes a size bigger?
    I loved this riff so much I went out in my parking lot and yelled for my sister who lives next door. She came out and I was wearing a 3x shirt just for kicks and I was able to pull it down to my knees almost (pants on yes) and walked around the lot with this nightshirt looking thing going “I’m Winnie The Pooh!!”
    She freaked and slammed the door, my mother calls 5 minutes later and says “Hello, is this Winnie?”

       3 likes

  25. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    GareChicago: Delete your account.

    Sir or Ma’am, have you considered letting Apathy into your life?

    ;-)

       4 likes

  26. Jason says:

    Mike’s impression of Lipton predates Will Ferrell’s SNL one, right?

       0 likes

  27. PJ says:

    The Original EricJ: I we feel like we’re back to watching three B-list standup comics think they’re brilliant, like MK&B would ever think that…But respond to the onscreen movies with a bit of cheap-seats silliness, and they’re back to being a heckling audience again.

    Yeah, that was the point where MK&B first tasted that self-aware Friedberg & Seltzer blood of “I hate current 90’s movies for being everywhere!”, and learned to break away from from taking paychecks for bad Legend Colorized versions of Little Shop of Horrors and House on Haunted Hill, to become a Festival of Twilight Jokes and the liberating church of Anakin-hate…And they’ve been Real Professional Comedy Professionals ever since.

    Thanks for reminding me, I have some calluses I have to file down.

       6 likes

  28. PJ says:

    Jason:
    Mike’s impression of Lipton predates Will Ferrell’s SNL one, right?

    I’m pretty sure. I remember that Ferrel joined the cast in 95 but he didn’t hash out all of his impressions just yet. It takes Loren a bit to let you into your groove at SNL. And Mike and the guys usually catch onto what’s funny in the upper-snob Hollywood circuit sooner than SNL do.
    Someone can correct me I would be much obliged.

       0 likes

  29. PJ says:

    The Original EricJ: Anything with “Howling” in the title that isn’t directed by Joe Dante.
    Hence the Philippe Mora joke–Both the S&M Eurotrash “Sybil Danning shows her boobs” #2, and the Goofy Ozploitation #3 are the works of a incoherent schizophrenic lunatic, and think Mora even admitted it, on the commentaries.
    But why ask us when you can ask Joe Bob?: https://youtu.be/lGdy23-S7GM?t=2m25s

    Neil Jordan’s “The Company of Wolves” is actually pretty good, though, if you know Jordan was deliberately trying to out-Lynch “Eraserhead” for “dream imitation” filmmaking.

    Ok, I can agree, Sybil ripping off her top again and again in 30-second intervals during the end credits of Howling 2 was tasteless, but you really need to throw in “Eurotrash”? But as the film goes, that was needless at the end, wonder what broadcast cable did with that, maybe a cartoon top as was done in ShowGirls.

       0 likes

  30. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Cornjob:
    You can even shape shift in the middle of a bar and no one will notice.

    Maybe it wasn’t so much that they didn’t notice as that They Just Didn’t Care. The Apathy was strong in those ones…

    ;-)

       3 likes

  31. The Original EricJ: As usual, covered the same complaints I had (shh, don’t let them find out you’re in my clandestine pay and employ as an offshore duplicate account!;) ), but I agreed that the end is the only big standout.
    When we get the usual forced “Obligated Time-Filler End-credits sketch”–like the “Femmy Movies Game” on Alien From LA, because Cannon Pictures naturally reminded them of “Shy People”–it’s such three clock-ticking get-it-the-hell-over-with minutes of forced material, we feel like we’re back to watching three B-list standup comics think they’re brilliant, like MK&B would ever think that…But respond to the onscreen movies with a bit of cheap-seats silliness, and they’re back to being a heckling audience again.

    Yeah, that was the point where MK&B first tasted that self-aware Friedberg & Seltzer blood of “I hate current 90’s movies for being everywhere!”, and learned to break away from from taking paychecks for bad Legend Colorized versions of Little Shop of Horrors and House on Haunted Hill, to become a Festival of Twilight Jokes and the liberating church of Anakin-hate…And they’ve been Real Professional Comedy Professionals ever since.

    Some of us are busy trying to enjoy ourselves in ways that don’t involve sitting in the garage and whipping the weasel to their own smug sense of intellectual superiority (when the neighbor kids aren’t around to stare at) – give it a shot sometime, pal.

       15 likes

  32. Cornjob says:

    “Someone’s bitter.”

       2 likes

  33. Cornjob says:

    I seem to recall an interview where the writer of the Howling books described how he wrote a script for Howling 2 which got rewritten over and over as the location got bounced around three continents before ending up in Hungary and Sybil Danning getting written in because somebody owed someone a favor and the result was unrecognizable from what it started out as, and incomprehensible to the point of being surreal.

    I recently watched a dumb Elvira movie called Werewolf of Washington that starred Dean Stockton as a werewolf that couldn’t break into a phone booth. There was a prolonged failed attempt at comedy when Dean started to transform while bowling with the vice president and got his hand stuck in a ball while the VP conspicuously failed to notice the werewolf three feet away from him struggling with a bowling ball. It wasn’t funny. It was just dumb.

       1 likes

  34. PJ: Ok, I can agree, Sybil ripping off her top again and again in 30-second intervals during the end credits of Howling 2 was tasteless, but you really need to throw in “Eurotrash”? But as the film goes, that was needless at the end, wonder what broadcast cable did with that, maybe a cartoon top as was done in ShowGirls.

    In the broadcast version, she whips open her cape (dressed) at 30 second intervals.
    (And I was referring to the whole S&M-club motif once they reach the castle…No werewolf movie needs to be turned into Eyes Wide Shut.)

    Cornjob:
    I seem to recall an interview where the writer of the Howling books described how he wrote a script for Howling 2 which got rewritten over and over as the location got bounced around three continents before ending up in Hungary and Sybil Danning getting written in because somebody owed someone a favor and the result was unrecognizable from what it started out as, and incomprehensible to the point of being surreal.

    The original book author wrote a Howling book-sequel that had our heroine trying to stop her converted boyfriend partnering up with the bad first-movie werewolf girl, but like the “Sister” plot, that’s about where all resemblances ended once The Looney got his hands on it. Christopher Lee had good experiences on the director’s last movie, and also thought he “owed a favor”, but, with traditional reserve, he lived to regret it.
    And yes, “Surreal” would be one way of describing #’s 2 & 3: Most movies have merely bad acting, but Mora goes out of his way to find actors who speak no English, and has either the non-speakers overact or the regular actors 100% non-act in some strange way that resembles that one movie where Werner Herzog had all his actors hypnotized…Or, more like, what if Roman Polanski’s “Fearless Vampire Killers” wasn’t a comedy?

    (And I remember when the Usenet group was first discussing “Hobgoblins”, the right people wondered, “Wait, that’s not the same punk band, is it?”)

       2 likes

  35. ChubbyBlueLine says:

    I like this episode, but it kinda drops off after “Where o Were” The other host segments are good, of course but the riffing declines from its peak (champagne guy crashing)

       0 likes

  36. docskippy says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: >>>schippers: This might be the strangest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen.
    >>>The Original EricJ: As far as “strangest”, Neil Jordan and Philippe Mora say hi, but Werewolves Behind the Wheel (why don’t they look?) certainly puts it up there. Not much else, but that’s certainly 30 for this movie.
    Well, schippers said it MIGHT be the strangest, remember?
    ;-)

    I’m flexing my thinker as hard as I can, but I still cannot come up with a weirder werewolf movie than this one.

    Now that I think about it, what I should have typed is “better,” not “weirder.”

       1 likes

  37. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    The IMDB offers these examples of werewolf movies that could conceivably be weirder than our current subject. The only one I’ve ever seen is “The Werewolf of Washington” and, well, yes, I’d say it was noticeably weirder, if only for a scene in which a government scientists (played by noted short man Michael Dunn), upon encountering the werewolf, is struck not by fear but by wonderment, even touching him and asking, almost in awe, “Are you REAL?”

    Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (1961)
    Face of the Screaming Werewolf (1964)
    Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
    The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971)
    The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972)
    The Werewolf of Washington (1973)
    Horror of the Wolf (1973)
    Wolf Guy (1975)
    Werewolf Woman (1976)
    Night of the Howling Beast (1975)
    Curse of the Queerwolf (1988)
    My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)
    Mom (1991)
    Project: Metalbeast (1995)
    Werewolf Warrior (2004)
    Werewolf in a Womens Prison (2006)

       2 likes

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