GQ has posted a slideshow of Mike’s choices for The Ten Worst Holiday Films Ever.
Thanks to Rafi for the link!
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GQ Lists Mike’s 10 Worst Holiday Films19 Replies to “GQ Lists Mike’s 10 Worst Holiday Films”Commenting at Satellite News
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Awesome list, though I’ve always loved ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS (c’mon, there’s a lot worse out there).
Too. Many. Ads. Can’t. Read. List. Properly. :mad:
Anyway, yeah there are worse movies. I can’t believe “Santa Claus: The Movie” didn’t make Mike’s list.
Is it wrong of me that now that I’ve seen the list, I want to go see every one of them? Especially the one about the ice cream bunny.
Not at all. I’m up for a weird Christmas movie.
Speaking of weird Christmas movies, there’s a movie called “Rupert the Great” with an alternate title of “Christmas Wish.” It’s from the early ’50s and it star Jimmy Durante and a stop-motion animated squirrel named Rupert. I think it make great riffing fodder. It’s kind of a nice movie too.
There’s a scene in the movie where the squirrel dances a jig for this man and woman. It’s pretty good animation and the fact that the squirrel even does such a dance should be amazing to anyone. The man, however, was not impressed.
THE GRINCH and SANTA CLAUSE 3? Come on, those were still good. Sure Grinch was an extended version of the old cartoon, but still good to watch. And I liked SANTA CLAUSE 3, with a twisted Jack Frost.
Yeah, what happened to “Santa Claus: The Movie”? I remember a contemporary review that went something like “The Salkinds should stick to fantasy characters who can fly.” (Remember, this was their follow-up after Superman II).
I would personally put all of the Santa Clause movies, but only because I never cared much for Tim Allen, but I have no argument with the third one only. That was pathetic.
And what was that other Christmas movie Tim Allen was in? Christmas was a Krank, or something like that…
The Grinch movie celebrates everything the cartoon attacked. That deserves to be on a worst holiday list almost by definition.
Then, there’s Michael Keaton’s Jack Frost movie.
Fred Claus. Someone must explain why this was even an idea.
That one about Santa’s “brother
Santa & The Ice Cream Bunny is viewable on Youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyAxnFWoy3Q
I was astounded to see this as Mike’s first pick … it’s pretty obscure and a total grade z film … also totally psychotic! check it out! :)
It gave me quite a bit of satisfaction and did my heart good to see that Mike had the same opinion of ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ and ‘The Polar Express’ as I did. I’ll never have back the time spent watching them. :mad:
Now I’m *really* curious about ‘Santa & the Ice Cream Bunny’…saw MST3K ep ‘Santa Claus’ for the first time today. Is it weirder than that?
Okay, I’m not going to waste anymore time trying to watch that. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is just plain evil.
Christmas with the Kranks. The lesson of the movie is that if you and your spouse decide to forgo the extravagant ritual commercialism of a suburban Christmas and go on holiday instead, you’re worse than Hitler and deserve to be browbeaten senseless until you cancel the vacation and string up the damn lights like everyone else.
I knew I had seen this movie mentioned somewhere:
http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Santa_and_the_Ice_Cream_Bunny_1972.aspx
I want to see this one now!
I would have to disagree with the inclusion of “Jingle All The Way”…
To any parent who has ever had to desperately search for a ‘special’ toy that was THE Toy To Have For Christmas; “Jingle All The Way” is practically a documentary, if not actual Therapy.
Back In The Day before the internet and Ebay, we went through equally stressful ( and comedic, in retrospect) quests.
My wife still shudders at the mere mention of ‘Beanie Babies’.
Rather insipid piece, really.
I assume Mike’s limiting himself to theatrical releases. Otherwise, he could have the pick of the hundreds of movies on Hallmark about Santa’s hundreds of until-now unknown children (Santa’s either as careless with the ladies as an NBA player or Mrs. Claus is really Kate Gosselin) or some doofus’s wacky misadventures in trying to get home by Christmas. Ironically, it never occurs to the people in these stupid films that maybe their family doesn’t want them home for Christmas in the first place.
Even worse, of course, are the hundreds of chick-mas movies all focusing on Santa bringing a man for Christmas. So Santa’s now branched out into white slavery and male prostitution? Here’s a better idea for the women in these movies: don’t bother Santa; try not being a bitch with unrealistically high standards! Am I right, guys?
And apparently Santa’s also into black market adoption from all the movies where he brings some kid a new mommy or daddy for Christmas. Maybe the FBI ought to try to get an undercover elf at the North Pole to get the goods on Old St. Nick!
And my wife wonders why I keep wearing out copies of “Miracle on 34th Street” (NOT the version with David Hartman!)
MigelDotCom, thanks for the link to Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny. I’ve been wanting to see this movie ever since I first heard about it, and wow does it set a standard for bad cinema. It (almost) makes Coleman Francis seem professional by comparison. I’m only half way through it, but I’m enjoying it so much that I wanted to thank you.
Gotta’ agree with #12. I normally dismiss ‘Jingle All The Way’ as crap, but last Sunday I had the incredible good fortune to find one of those %*@#ing Zhu Zhu Hamsters for the granddaughter of someone my mom bowls with (when you’re the neighborhood’s preeminent Transformers fan, your great reputation carries an equal curse), and when I caught JATW on TV that night, it was suddenly several times better than I remembered. Sinbad’s finest hour (for whatever that’s worth) and probably the Ahnuld movie that officially made all his previous films too easy to riff by simply quoting the ones you’re not watching. The more battle-ravaged the Terminator happens to be in the scene, the funnier, “Take me to za Turboman!”, sounds.
And I agree with #6 on the live action Grinch: the problem wasn’t Jim Carey, but that the whole movie managed to entirely miss the point.
And speaking of obscure, I just happened to find an old VHS of the only version of ‘Babes in Toyland’ I saw as a child, from 1986. I remember enjoying it, but now realize it might be perfect riffing fodder due to its stab at having an all-star cast, with Drew Barrymore as the little girl, Pat Morita as the Toymaster, and Keanu Reeves as Jack B. Nimble. I’ll have to revisit this soon, but the friend I normally torture with my video store carcass picking hasn’t hooked his VCR up since he moved. I wonder why…
Oh who am I kidding, the whole reason I got into MST3K is I identify too strongly with Dr. F.
And if Rifftrax wanted to pick on an animated Xmas special with an odd all-star cast, I’d lend them my copy of “The Glo Friends Save Christmas”, wherein Blanche, the Wicked Witch of the North (Sally Struthers), uses an icicle-cage death trap on Santa (Carroll O’Connor; ever detect a pattern that must have some deeper meaning, but you just can’t quite read between the lines?). The Glo Friends must naturally rely on their glowing powers to melt the cage, which somehow doesn’t just impale Santa faster. Lorenzo Music rounds out the cast as a moose who didn’t make the reindeer team. Just close your eyes and imagine a horrified Garfield declaring, “You said you weren’t gonna’ hurt Santa!”
Think Sampo will just resurrect last year’s “Holiday Movies that deserve to be riffed” thread today?
Oh, and here’s Candy Claus. Broadcast in a half hour, it’s only 3 parts on Youtube, and you must watch it from start to finish to appreciate just what a unique train wreck it is, with indescribable, often subtle oddness on every level. My guess is it was hampered by an animation studio bankruptcy and legal problems, and had some trippy music numbers tacked on to disguise its being sent to air incomplete in 1987. I’d LOVE to see this included in next year’s Rifftrax Holiday Shorts Bachinalia-ivus, as long as they acknowledge Ohno’s resemblance to Dr. Wily.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_EXcO-qk00
I am like many people I see upset about Ernest Saves Christmas and Jingle All the Way being included in Mike’s list of the “worst” Xmas films ever made. I mean sure they are bad films but both still funny, highly watchable, and entertaining. When I think of “worst”, I think unwatchable. These are bad but not unwatchable by any means….also watch for a hilarious supporting part by the late great Phil Hartman(RIP) as Arnolds next door neighbor. Am I alone in my opinion, anyone???
Arnolds next door neighbor in Jingle All The Way*