Movie: (1968) Wrestler/crime fighter Batwoman battles a mad scientist trying to create human/fish hybrids.
Host: Emily.
Opening: In the cold open: As Kinga and Pearl set off on their vacation (much to Max’s dismay), E&tB get surprising results from 23 and Me.
After the show open: The bots throw Emily a Bot Mitzvah. Meanwhile, there’s some tension between Synthia and Mega-Synthia.
Invention exchange: E&tB show off their Vin Diagram, which tells you what any two Vin Diesel movies have in common. Synthia unveils her duct tape dispenser.
Segment 1: Crow and Tom are mad scientists experimenting on Emily.
Segment 2: Emily attends the Billionaire vigilante gala. After intermission: The billionaires get a new call.
Segment 3: E&tB sell Batwoman franchises.
Close: Kinga and Pearl return and all hell has broken loose.
Stinger: Well, we lost her…
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Aug. 19, 2022.
• Plenty of laughs in this one. Very funny stuff. But though the riffing was great, the movie put me to sleep.
• Callbacks: a Spanish version of “Every Country Has a Monster.” “And watch out for snakes.” “Hi keebat!”
• Fave riff: “When I heard the title ‘Batwoman,’ I knew there’d be a lot water, but this is ridiculous”
• Honorable mentions: “And mink,” “Pull the chain for ping-pong balls,” “Put your hands on your hips…,” “Where was she keeping that smoke bomb?” “Wow, negging totally works,” “I do NOT like the sound of that transmission.” “From here to infirmary” and “A pledge pin??”
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Always keep your 45s in direct sunlight for that groovy warped sound!
When I saw this was up for this week’s episode I was looking forward to it. I love 60s Batman and having never seen (or even heard of) this movie before I wondered what kind of sleaze we might have been in for. That it turned into a basic secret agent caper with less WTF energy than a Santo picture (or even Secret Agent Super Dragon) was a big letdown. The riffers did their best but this just got boring. The host segments didn’t really land either. I wanted to see more of Pearl and Kinga’s road trip (could have been a nice place for callbacks to previous seasons!) and once again they completely wasted Patton Oswalt’s presence.
Fave Riffs
‘Did you bring good news?’
We’re pregnant!
[climbs into 60s Chevrolet]
Sorry Batwoman, should have warned you about the hot vinyl seats!
Danny Elfman lost his job to an alarm clock.
‘Y tu Batwoman Tambien’!
She seems confused about when she should and shouldn’t wear the costume.
This movie likes to tell, then show, then tell again!
” a mad scientist trying to create human/fish hybrids” is there Sargassum involved?
For a review of this “MST3K” episode and others go to “Faith’s Take” on YouTube.com.
She reviews Rifftrax as well.
Even a Chinese seance, or running around a table, might have livened it up.
But yes, the retooled-Santos vibe is heavy on this one. Almost as if there already WAS a female luchadora in a 60’s Batmania costume, and they rewrote a script around it–
Remembering, of course, to remind us she’s female, since she swims in bikinis and is afraid of mice.
Courtesy of Rene Cardona, who already gave us Santo & Treasure of Dracula, and, of course, Santo Claus.
Lately, in absence of new MST3K, I’d gotten hooked on Dark Corners’ YouTube channel–which lists the good points of obscure cheesy movies along with the bad–and while the host tends to be a little too Brit-Woke about complaining that B-movies aren’t nicer to the female characters, he manages to skewer the many plot holes in the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2vDeOgcLPY
Batwoman passes the Bechdel Test: Batwoman and Esmerelda talk about their wrestling.
Definitely one of the more cheesecake superheroine costume designs. Possibly the only one more risqué is that of Kekko Kamen. BTW should you choose to Google Image Search that term, don’t forget to clear your browser history afterwards. Especially if it’s on a shared device.
Curiously enough, the IMDB profile lists Bill Finger and Bob Kane as character creators, implying that this is kind of sort of legit. Probably because whoever wrote those in figured that DC would have otherwise come down hard on the flagrant use of the cowl. Personally, I’m not so sure.
Though considering how much underwater action there was, perhaps they should have called in Aquaman. The production really was determined to get their money’s worth out of that underwater camera.
Of the host segments, the weakest one is the Billionaire Vigilante Gala. But this is more than offset by the Batwoman franchise sketch as well as Tom and Crow scheming to turn Emily into a human/animal hybrid, once they settle on what kind of animal and which of them is the assistant.
Favorite riffs
Wow, Gotham got hit hard by the recession.
You know, because she’s part bat, she’s naturally comfortable underwater.
No, that’s a bass woman.
Is it true the Snyder Cut of Batwoman has 25% more spear fishing?
Meanwhile, in an Ed Wood movie.
“Quick Igor, there’s a leakage!”
Olestra strikes again.
Now how do I tell Mario I want to see other secret agents?
When Jacques Cousteau loans you five francs, you better pay up, mon frère.
At least he got a good deal on the boat, so he didn’t have to pay full price to get murdered.
“Now make it move to to the left.”
Put your hands on your hips.
It’s nice to see the Batwoman back in her natural habitat, the sea.
Batwoman. The movie that dares to say, “We rented an underwater camera and we’re going to get every last peso out of it!”
Join us next week when Batwoman and Divorced Mom battle to determine who suffers more from slimy pickup lines. Same Batwoman Time, same Divorced Mom Channel.
But ultimately the evil thugs discover Batwoman’s kryptonite, shallow potholes.
This abomination will make bath time fun!
Come along with the Snorks… OH GAWD!!!!!
Guests of Batwoman stay at the Fiesta Plaza Suite.
No one would suspect that the glamorous Batwoman would hide out in a Best Western.
That’s me, Mickey Little Gun! The go-to guy for small jobs.
We found her, boss, and she still won’t buy a lottery ticket.
You’re not going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. MAWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
And thus, the original Dr. Pepper formula was lost forever.
Great episode. Solid riffing and a movie that cracked me up on it’s own. It felt like The Blood Waters of Dr. Z crashed into a Mexican wrestling film. Apparently wrestling in Mexico is culturally a bit like football in the United States. Considering how many football players end up in action films, it’s not too surprising that you’d get wrestlers in Mexican films.
While watching I wondered if the dialogue has been as dumb in the original Spanish or was more a by-product of the ridiculous dubbing, but considering the story and visuals I think the dubbing might not have been the problem.
I probably wasn’t paying attention at the right moment, but who is Emily and how did she get roped into all this?
Cold Open: It’s nice to see grandmother and granddaughter getting away. Going in time to see the bubonic plague is something they should enjoy. I also like the easter egg of them appropriating Jonah’s old space tug from seasons 11 and 12. Meanwhile having Max in charge ought to be fun. I loved the panic attack. As for Emily being 2% bot. Somehow I’m not completely surprised.
Invention Exchange:
Emily & the Bots: The Vin Diagram. This really felt like something from Joel era Comedy Central and that makes me smile. ‘Nuff said.
The Mads (or Mega-Cynthia as the case may be) The Duct Tape dispenser in the shape of duck. This one was particularly evil. It felt like something Max would come up with.
Host Segment 1: There are a handful of probable influences to this sketch. One vibe I’m getting is Pinky and the Brain (though Pink & Pinky is a bit more accurate. This also reminded me of the Big Knees host segment of Manos. I also couldn’t help thinking silly Sci-Fi movies like Sharknado. Hats off to Emily’s performance here as she plays the Bots.
Host Segment 2: Nothing stands out here but there is still a lot of applicable satire on the genre. I liked it.
Host Segment 3: The Batwoman franchise kit. It’s ludicrous but very funny. And just when you thought the paper costume couldn’t work, MegaSynthia effectively models it. Plus if that one size fits most still fits Mega Synthia it’s got to fit everybody.
Closing: We didn’t see Max since just before the invention exchange and here he suddenly is with everything in flames. What happened? I hope this gets some sort of follow up in the next episode.
The Movie: Santa Claus (episode 521) meets a Santos movie. That right there explains the entire movie.
This was an exceptionally fun movie. Plus any movie with a ship named Retilicus has to be riffed. It was destiny. Meanwhile Emily is the standout of season 13 in my book. She has that Mike Nelson relationship with her Bots yet still is their friend and it makes for great comedy. Also hats off the writers on this one. Everyone involved brought their A game.
Favorite Riffs
Two kids seem to be pantomiming fishing. Emily “Whatever they are doing I’m sure there’s a better way.” Tom “It’s important to floss the ocean every day.”
Male character practically panting “What an extraordinary woman. It would be a pleasure to meet her.” Emily “Down boy.”
Bikini clad Batwoman gets in a car. Crow “Ahh” Tom “Sorry Batwoman. We should have warned you about the hot vinyl seats.
Tom about the ship Reptilcus “Tonight the role of the yacht Reptilicus will be played by the Stanton Island Ferry.
Dr. Williams “That is a problem you have to solve. Use your brain. Just find a way to discover who she is.” Crow “Maybe check the end credits.”
A bunch of bikini clad women step out of the changing room. Tom “Ah-ha-ha. Shopping. Clothes. Nuclear fusion. Lady things.” Crow “Make up. Biochemistry. More lady things.”
Thugs force Batwoman off the road and approach her car. “Hey we’ve been calling you all year about how your car’s warranty is about to expire.”
Mario ignites the gasoline on the water. Tom sings the main riff of Smoke On the Water.
Batwoman examines the transmitter found in her cape. Emily “Little, yellow, different.” [Who says a dated riff can’t still be funny?]
Them breaking into a Spanish version of “Every Country has a Monster” was some s-tier stuff. And Emily’s ability to so casually mess with the bots as they attempt to combine her with other animals again gives me the feeling that she’s a new step-sibling to them. Also her wanting to be merged with a red panda won me over on her (though to be fair, I was already won over by the live shows).
During the animal splicing host segment I got a kick out of the stiff prop rope that Emily was ostensibly confined with, but she uses to thwack crow in the head with when they’re not looking. It has Joel’s years as a prop comic written all over it.
For some reason, Kinga and Max are tasked by Dr. Kabahl (the strange financier from the future) with finding a second host. In Robot Wars, Kinga’s invention is the Simulator of Love, a replica of the Satellite of Love. Emily is the Gizmonic technician brought on to make sure it’s fully set up. Kinga then strands her there.
Thanks for clearing that up.
We’re also supposed to know her from the live Circus Tour, for those who sat through either Circus of Horrors or No Retreat, No Surrender:
She’s Joel (the character)’s assistant Gizmo technician who gets to inherit the Bots after Joel escapes
I thought the movie wasn’t too bad. Yes, they messed up making Batwoman the damsel in distress that one time, and the mouse thing at the end was embarrassing. Still, she seemed to be a fairly self-assured heroine, and her male sidekicks didn’t seem too dim. And I can’t help but think, “This is how the DCEU should’ve been done.”
I thought the riffing was fine, and I liked the host segments, though more of Max would’ve been good. I re-watched the Gizmoplex premiere event, where in the post-show segment they did a brief comparison of El Santo and Batwoman. They figured El Santo was more accomplished.
Oh, this reminds me of something else: how long do you think it’ll be until a bootleg of the notorious (and legally hidden from the public) “Batgirl” movie shows up? I have to figure it’ll show up eventually.
I did like this episode. We liked Emily since seeing her on tour. I like Kelsey so I’m ok with her as Crow.
Loved the energy when ‘Reptilicus’ appeared on screen. Doing it in Spanish was a nice touch.
You could tell the producers were just filming things they hoped would work – but they just didn’t have a clue. No one knows who Batwoman is – so she goes all over town in public with the guys who do know. She drives her car to the beach as Batwoman and leaves as Gloria. Has she never been followed before? No one has tried to figure out who she is? But she is Batwoman – so of course she is an expert diver.
Oh, and wouldn’t it be hilarious if she was afraid of a mouse?
Were the producers overmatched – or did they JUST NOT CARE?