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Now Available from RiffTrax…10 Replies to “Now Available from RiffTrax…”Commenting at Satellite News
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This one left me in a daze after watching it, like Memento did but for very different reasons. I’m not sure this should be classified as an actual movie.
From dvdverdict.com.
“On first viewing, Things was one of the single most painful viewing experiences of my entire life. Dull, senseless, and altogether crappy, I found myself simultaneously numbed with boredom and shocked by my inability to figure out what the heck was going on at any given time…Masochistic tendencies aside, my reaction to Things changed dramatically. Now, instead of feeling that punching myself in the face is more productive entertainment, I laugh in the same way that I laugh at the pantheon of bottom-rate cinema. Had I seen this when I was in college, Things would be a truly wretched classic in my eyes. While I don’t have quite the same tolerance that I once did, it still ranks right up there with Manos: The Hand of Fate and Mr. T’s Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool, and is a treasure for those who like to revel in the worst of the worst.
Things is, as they say, all filler and no killer, but that’s most of the charm. The violence is nasty and pornographic, but I’m in it for the stuff between the kills. This includes an excess of beer drinking, the consumption of bread sandwiches, staring at walls, and pacing aimlessly around rooms. Add into this a series of completely inexplicable interludes featuring 1980s adult film siren Amber Lynn as a news anchor and there is something very special going on here. Not anything very good, but special nonetheless.”
*Watches the Rifftrax clip*
…Well that is yet another weird one!
Dang Mike, you have been on a roll with these…for over 15 years! (I don’t think he ever takes a break from riffing)
Watched this one last night. Definitely the most completely incompetent attempt at “filmmaking” that I have ever seen. Hal Warren can feel pretty good about himself now — “Manos” is a cinematic masterpiece compared to this…thing.
Movie sounds wretched, but the artwork above is awesome.
By “Worst movie they’ve ever done”, I assuming they’re properly qualifying Birdemic and Rollergator as “Home videos”.
Sometimes you can tell from the title that a movie was made before Google.
Eric J.:
Birdemic and Rollergator are home videos.
Watch all three films and see for yourself.
from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183881/trivia?ref_=ttkw_ql_trv_1
“Jessica Stewarte, who plays the nude lady in the opening scene, was actually a prostitute. Attempts were made to include her in 2008 DVD release of the film but she could not be found.”
Notice that the DVD release long pre-dated the Rifftrax, so interest in her whereabouts is surely only more intense now.
If nothing else, Ms. Stewarte (no relation to French, one would presume) is now looking at however much $$$ per SF / MST3K / OSLT convention for the rest of her life. After all, Michael Berryman makes Star Trek convention guest of honor lists just on the basis of a five-minute appearance in STNG Season One. :-)
“Yes, ladies, the stepping stone status of humble prostitute can also lead YOU to” well, perhaps she wouldn’t take that approach…
IMHO kind of reminiscent of “The Deadly Spawn.”
That’s what he said they were.