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Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Villains Who Deserve an Origins MovieAlert regular Duke of Puddles opines:
I’d like to hear about Xenos the wizard from “Outlaw (of Gor)” What made him so evil? We want to know! Your pick? 87 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Villains Who Deserve an Origins Movie”Commenting at Satellite News
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All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2024 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2024 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
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Didn’t that Bird Scientist guy tell them why. Man polluted the earth and because of global warming the birds didn’t have any food. Naturally the birds attack the creator of sole panels, which ironically could help reverse that trend. But hey, a human is a human to a bird.
let’s be honest, they were all in it for the chicks….
Jay (delayed response–it took me awhile to find my mortar board): “TORCHAH” is an example of regional English spoken by TEENAGERS from either Chicago or the far reaches of Outer Space. Curiously, statistical studies suggest that most of the teen speakers who have adopted this form of slang appear to be REALLY, REALLY OLD.
The Summer That Ended Too Soon ~ The Reginald “Fats” Kahuna Story. The story of world class surfer Fats and the surfboard whacking to the head that changed his life and the lives of many others.
That should have read a while. *BLUSH* :)
And, no, I did NOT attend the same university as Sam Casey!
Since we all resort to colloquial contractions from time to time it is possible that no one even noticed, Prof. I refer to Sam Casey’s non-Harvard educated acquaintance Cupcake who, by the by, in no way deserves a background movie of her own.
In the prequel to Bloodlust we learn, in detail, why Albert Balleau decided that animals weren’t enough of a challenge and people should be his prey. Diabolik Rising (since umpteen movies have rises or rising in the title) shows how the young supercriminal gained a fortune, built a secret underground base, and became the bane of Inspector Ginko. The origin of the Omega, from Warrior of the Lost World, shows a ruthless, ambitious Prossor taking advantage of the apocalypse to prop himself up as a new dictator. He even hires a spy who pretends to be a resistance fighter, but more importantly he hires a proud mechanic/customizer who turns an ordinary dumptruck into….MEGAWEAPON!
One or more of the colorful extras at the end of The Skydivers could make for a better movie than the Skydivers. They seemed like a much more interesting bunch than the principle characters. Tony Cardoza as the male lead looked like if he got any more bored he’d cease to exist. The film crew should have hung out with the giantess, the skinny shirtless drug user, and the Scotsman.
Darn, I was going to ask you for his autograph! Btw, we all let slip some contractions, regional slang, and typos. I bemoan the loss of the Edit button here every week. Was it ever explained why it was removed? Anyhoo, I love your posts, Professor Gunther.
I believe you meant to say slppnls.
G
He’s not a villian, but I’d like to know more about Father Mushroom and his wacky teleportation skills. I s’pose he could be played by a really tiny, short, miniscule actor… say, David Spade.
G
…Nnno, he wouldn’t be obnoxious enough for the role.
It could be that Father Mushroom would make a dandy vaudevillian.
Why does someone who is that competent at being a master thief have the personality of a piece of cardboard? This could not only be a how to be a master criminal but also a grim psychological study of a warped individual.
Sorry. I meant to specify Diabolique, but somehow that got deleted.
Not really that unclear. You ever have to teach a little kid how to misbehave or be selfish?
Pretty sure the factory setting for toddlers is feral imp. Society holds its breath that with some “nurture” they all get civilized.
I would like the Ortega origin story. And although the poachers are really the villains in Pod People, it could be compelling cinema to be told of Trumpy’s home world.
Let’s not forget the gritty prequel to Final Sacrifice in which cult member Rowsdower tracks down Larry Csonka and bottlebrush throat guy for Garth Vader. Zap’s crisis of conscience (nature or nurture?) makes a compelling third act.
Laser Blast: We need to know why the turtle aliens are traveling this far and going to so much trouble to chase down the first pasty guy in the desert with the blast laser. How did he get it? How did he wind up on earth? What the hell is that pendant that makes the laser work, burns a hole in your chest, makes some sort of metal grow in your chest, and turns you into Ecuadorian Bat Boy? What roll does all this play in the turtle aliens’ culture? And the main thing: why do they go to all this trouble and then not stop to pick the laser and the pendant up so that no one else on earth can find it?! (And what does the Bill Bixby military intelligence guy have to do with all this? Was the CIA making weapons for the turtle aliens? Did some super-secret US military space program threaten them, and now they’re just defending themselves?) Done right, this would be a much, much better film than Laser Blast, which as it is actually feels like a cheap, hasty sequel meant to cash in on an earlier, better movie.
Space Mutiny: A prequel showing the end of earth and the construction of the Southern Sun. They could do us a favor by showing us the actual blueprints to give us at least some vague idea of where everything is in relation to everything else. We could hear the engineers discuss why this massive cutting-edge-in-the-25th-century space ship needs a large basement and boiler room that looks like a deserted late-20th century factory. We could watch some of the people getting disgruntled and the formation of the Enforcers against the wishes of Commander Santa Claus’s father or grandfather or whoever preceded him. We could witness Kalgon’s birth in space–probably to psycho parents who instill disgruntlement and evil in his empty, scenery-chewing heart. And there could be scenes of Big McLargehuge’s childhood, his early workouts, his rise through the ranks of . . . well, whatever force he’s flying for at the beginning.
And why he keeps his Space Status Card in his moist batch area.
Gare
That might be a standard practice in this advanced, futuristic society that people don’t even think twice about (NB: Scott “Oy!” Devers doesn’t even use a hand sanitizer after plunging said card into the computer). But in our primitive 21st century, alas, that’s all we CAN think about after Gristle McThornbody reaches down for his ID . . .
@ mst3kme and Endoplasmic Reticulum: I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate (or at least Pitch’s Advocate) here. It’s easy and satisfying to place the blame for the current travails of movie theaters on faceless, uncaring landlords and studio suits. And they certainly play their part. But we should also consider the role of the media consumer, that being us.
Now every once in a while, the media landscape receives a shake-up when a new platform comes on the market. In the first half of the 20th century, vaudeville went down to the one-two punch of cinema and radio thanks to lower costs for the consumer and the migration of talent. In the Fifties, television was the new disrupter. In spite of initial panic, cinema was able to hold its own thanks to the availability of color and being presented on a screen bigger than a lady’s wristwatch. Radio wasn’t so fortunate, and was reduced to handling news, sports, and music, with audio drama occasionally appearing as a novelty.
In recent years, streaming has been making its mark as the latest variation on home video. Thanks to a massive selection being available at a moment’s notice, streaming has pretty much gutted the old business model of home video rentals, except for localities where high speed internet isn’t a given. This time around, cinema is feeling the pressure. Thanks to improvements in home theater technology, the gap in the presentation quality between cinema and home video isn’t as large as it used to be. People are asking themselves if it’s really worth going to the theater which they must share with various screaming kids, sticky floors, and obnoxious viewers who just won’t shut up when they can wait a few months to watch it in the comfort of their own home, able to pause it when nature calls and have the freedom to chug chip dip straight from the jar. More and more are answering no.
Some time in the future, an as yet unforeseen media platform will rise to challenge the supremacy of streaming video. This is the way it always has been and the way it always will be. And it is we the media consumers who are ultimately responsible.
OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK –
But their were no villains. Tell me who was the villain in this drama? It seems that Fingal had to construct the “Fat Man” to represent the faceless forces trying to keep him productive in his dull, repetitive job. In truth the agents of harm here in this cybernetic world were inept mid-level supervisors, careless technicians, and one little heinder-hole kid switching tags. His back story could probably be told in a DAVEY AND GOLIATH cartoon where he plays the Goofus to Davey’s Gallant.
PS – Yes, I do like using this new word “heinder-hole”. Feel free to borrow it, but be careful of what spell-checker wants to turn it into.
Oh, and
“I’d like to hear about Xenos the wizard from “Outlaw (of Gor)” What made him so evil? We want to know!”
Being stuck in a job where you’re required to wear that hat would do it.
Is anyone else not sure how tall they were?
Don’t you all want to believe that Gamera is involved some how? I know I do . . .
A couple more . . .
Tormented: Boy, don’t you want to know about Tom Stewart & Vi’s relationship before Meg?! . . . Er, yeah, me neither . . .
Starfighters: Wow, you could have . . . or maybe some . . . and then, we could . . . Oh, forget it–no villains, no heroes, the prequel would be just more of the same, only maybe with propellers instead of jets. On the other hand, that means there wouldn’t be any refueling . . .
IIRC the film never said they were from Earth in the first place. It was an obvious “homage” to Battlestar Galactica, and the Galactica wasn’t from Earth. In fact, it was on route to Earth. Maybe the Southern Sun is too. Who knows?
Not the crew–none of them seem to have a clue. The film never really tells us where the hell they’re actually going, and they don’t seem to know themselves. The only one in the crew with anything on the ball is Lt. Lamont, and she gets . . . well, you know. It says a lot about the competence of the officers on the bridge that after she gets killed and miraculously comes back to life, they demote her! She’s no longer the only person actually working on the bridge, she seems to be part of the typing pool in the back.
Pitch from SANTA CLAUS –
In the prequel we find out that Pitch is just a low level demon and he is kind of a screw up. Didn’t we all suspect as much? Satan gives him the peripheral task of being a hindrance to Santa which leaves the really bad guys where they can do some serious evil. Working in the executive branches of various governments. Pitch is pissed at the assignment, but it’s the stupid red outfit and makeup he has to wear that really burns his tiny heinder. It ain’t easy being red.
I’d like to know what made Dr. Hubbard from Phase 4 such an ant-obsessed psychopath. Was a traumatic incident with an ant farm involved?
I think it was just the challenge and the chance of scientific glory (kind of like how Yuri from “Werewolf” was after fame and fortune), regardless of the details of the situation. If it hadn’t been ants, it would’ve been killer shrews or slime people or eye creatures or alien space bats or…
Heck of a batch tho…
G
He was the Droppo of hell.
G
Among the half-dozen or so prequels Future War could have, I would like to see one that shows the inner workings of that evil alien civilization. If done right, scenes where they time-travel and capture dinosaurs could be interesting. Something about the life of slaves, too: how they get captured, what exactly they have to do, etc., although we’d be running the risk of repeating the Keebler-cookie mine scenes from Outlaw. Do all the slaves know how to kickbox? Just what ARE these vicious aliens without hands? And with all their advanced technology, why do their androids wear clown white and/or look like Robert Z’Dar? Oh, Z’No!
“Armadillos in Space!”
If it comes to that, what’s Lt. Nosferata Lamont’s back story?
A clear case of discrimination against Space Vampires.
Along with Undead’s Quintus Ratcliff (yes, that’s actually the character’s last name…which makes him going over to the dark side a bit more understandable). He and Vorelli are both known to have studied in Tibet.