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Now Available from RiffTrax…40 Replies to “Now Available from RiffTrax…”Commenting at Satellite News
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Satellite News is a fan site for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 television and Netflix series. It is an independent publication written and compiled by Chris Cornell (msampo@aol.com) and Brian Henry (erhardt4@aol.com). Satellite of Love, LLC does not maintain this web site, nor is it responsible for this site's content.
All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2024 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2024 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
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he can read it, theres just nothing there…..ha!
I love the “line?” gag. So many long periods of silence in that movie.
I believe my wife will be more than a little pumped to watch this riff with me.
Is it me or do these Rifftrax comments seem so over-rehearsed? They seem so unnatural.
The first one or two did, but the “line?” bit was hilarious.
I (sadly) already received the movie from Netflix, so I’ve got to hold on to it for another week it seems. **Sigh**
Oh thank the heavens! Life has been made just a little more bearable knowing that we’re going to get this riff soon!
Edward: “I don’t have…”
Mike: “…a wang.”
:lol: :lol:
One word:
KETTLEBELL!
:lol:
I hate when they do great movies like Twil…oh wait…nevermind.
Ouch. That small sample hurt my brain.
But I have plenty of friends who love this series for God-only-knows-why reasons. One of them’s bound to have the DVD so I don’t have to buy the demon seed.
I’m just hoping there will be a riff along the lines of, “When does Christopher Lee show up and punch out these punks?”
Definitely looking forward to riffs about films involving actual vampires instead of these…sparkling, whatever the Hell they are.
Oh man, this is going to be great! I love those Twilight books – they’re the literary equivalent of “Troll 2”, and they made me laugh till I cried – so I can only assume the movie is as mind-boggling.
Meh… Now i have to support these hodaddys by buying their dvd. I’m so gay now.
I curse the day “Twilight” was published. I despise anything and everything about those books. I’ve seen better writing on shampoo bottles; the phrase “Lather and rinse. Repeat if desired.” is more tightly plotted than anything that hack Stephenie Meyer could ever dream up.
Stephenie Meyer, destroying literature one “Twilight” book at a time.
Thank you, RiffTrax, for giving “Twilight” the kick in the crotch it deserves.
Yay! Finally they do a movie that actually sucks!!! Can’t wait to watch this.
Hahaha! ‘Except the guy in the corner wearing the tinfoil hat.” Oh, lol. :lol:
TO: zombie (Post #12)
Just borrow the movie from your local public library. They may make rude comments, but at least it’ll be a lot less expensive.
I have been praying for this riff since a friend of mine dragged me to see this. Awesome!!!
Not even Rifftrax would get me to watch Twilight.
I was whipped into both reading the awful book and seeing the awful movie. I hope they tear it a new one.
Not even if they did a rifftrax with Joel, Mike, Trace, Frank, Mary Jo, Kevin, Paul, and Bill would I watch Twilight.
I bought the crappy Fantastic 4 movies used to watch the rifftrax. I bought Beowulf to watch the rifftrax…
..I won’t rent or buy twilight to watch the rifftrax (Maybe if it shows up on netlfix streaming someday).
I hope they address the fact the guy is freakin’ 90 something years old but for some reason falls for a 16/17 year old girl.
I had a friend of mine who loves the books (I don’t hold that against her) try to convince me that it’s because the girl is really mature. I assured her that at only 30, even if it were never illegal, there isn’t a single 16/17 year old girl in the world that I would even consider dating.
CP
I’m sure “dating” wouldn’t be a real 90-year-old vampire’s motive. Not that there is such a thing. :evil:
I don’t care what the hell movie they riff. If Mike or Joel or Trace or Bill or Kevin or any of the MST alumni riff on anything I will be there.
Who cares what the movie is? The important thing is that all these guys are back in the riffing business.
I can’t believe the number of people who refuse to watch this movie because it’s too terrible or they are too embarassed!!?? Remember a little show called Mystery Science Theater? Monster A GO-Go, Castle of Fu Manchu, Wild World of Batwoman, the Coleman Francis trilogy? How in the world could Twilight possibly be worse than any of these? I don’t understand you people.
I agree with #3’s post; the riffing just seems too practiced, and not just the clip from “Twilight”.
Justin and Sue of Mutant Reviewers From Hell did a review. Curiously, both were more or less coerced into seeing it (the former by his wife and the latter by her teenage daughter).
I am embarrassed to say that I read the first book. Luckily I didn’t waste much time on it since it’s very simplistic and only took me one night and some change to read. I mean I was reading The Lord of the Rings in the fourth grade, so this book was more like glancing at the writing on the toilet paper wrapper while sitting on the can (in more ways than one). The only reason I even finished it was because I was curious as to whether there would be anything at all new or creative about the vampires. Nope. Nothing. The book is totally unoriginal in every possible respect. So of course I had to see the film to get first hand experience in exactly how bad it could be. Netflix to the rescue, and it was worse than I could have ever expected. Imagine the simplest, least original vampire story ever written, and then chop it up into an even more simplified, shortened movie version, toss in some horrible acting, terrible direction, laughable vampire makeup, and some of the most obvious use of wire work I’ve seen in any film that actually had a budget.
I personally think it’s hilarious how many people are saying that they wouldn’t watch Twilight even with a Rifftrax. That’s pretty dumb. This is the kind of film Rifftrax was made for. Popular enough to support a good amount of sales, but terrible to anyone with any real taste in movies, and actually worthy of the derision it will receive. At least if I sit through two hours of hearing them talk about how terrible this movie is, and how much they hate having to watch it, I will be able to sympathize with and actually believe them.
I don’t care how practiced some Rifftrax sounds, it will never come close to how infuriatingly stiff and unnatural the Cinematic Titanic episodes come across.
Well….at least they’re doing a bad movie for a change….
LOL! This is the only way that Twilight should be watched. Psychic vampires FTL!
As a friend of mine so justly put it,
“Twilight: the enduring love story about a pedophile and a necropheliac.”
Speedy…
Apparently a werewolf character comes into the picture in the other books and there is a love triangle (Werewolves vs. Vampires! Love triangles! Will the flow of originality ever stop?!), so don’t forget the bestiality.
Nothing worse than a cold nose interrupting a passionate evening.
“This is Obsolutely Foscinating” 904 – Werewolf
“Twilight: the enduring love story about a pedophile and a necropheliac.”
That’s the best description I’ve heard of this book yet!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! They’re riffing Twilight! I was planning on MSTing the original novels. Anyone want to join in on the msting?
YES! My people! I’m so sick of hearing about this joke of a “vampire” flick. Manos was more bearable than this.
As always, love the Rifftrax boys.
Ugh – this movie was terrible.
I actually read the books – I am going to fess up and say it. I did and it wasn’t all that horrible.
Once I saw the T-shirts for sale in ‘Hot Topic’, I knew this would, once again, be ANOTHER fad to over-saturate and ruin. Oh, well.
I, for one and SO HAPPY that Mike and the gang decided to F-up the disgusting movie that was ‘Twilight’. It was truly terrible.
Someone has to agree with me. Someone who read the books, liked them, then saw the movie and hated it. Ugh – tell me.
Thank you, Rifftrax.
“Twilight: the enduring love story about a pedophile and a necropheliac.”
Ugh. Yes. Everyone seems to forget that vampires are dead people who kill you!
And that’s not even the worst of the pedophiles. How about how all the werewolves in these books fall in love with BABIES? Seriously.
I hope riftrax does all the Twiligiht flims. They’re an MST goldmine.
I just saw this (w/rifftrack). Godawfull. To begin with, they aren’t vampires (and that’s not Sinbad). Vampires are creatures of the night who can rarely even function during daylight hours. They don’t go for strolls outside at noon no matter how cloudy it is. Vampires burst into flame or crumble into dust in sunlight. They don’t sparkle (except as a by-product of combustion).
If regarded as just emo porn for 12 year old girls whose nascent sexuality regards a sensitive, petulant, pretty-boy gay man who needs a mommy, as an ideal boyfriend; the film is fairly well made. But for those of us who don’t want a puppy in the shape of a boy band member, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG!
Why would a 90 year old who was vamped at age 17 not pass himself off as a young looking college student? If I had to be in high school forever I’d be gulping down gallons of nitroglycerin before getting on a turbo charged pogo stick and jumping into the grand canyon.
And he falls in love like a 13 year old with a vacant, twitchy, stammering, twit whose barely pubescent, because he can’t read her mind? I think he can and there’s just nothing there to read.
And she, despite being welcomed with unnatural acceptance by a bunch of nice, if shallow kids, get’s fixated on a distant, rude, homosexual who keeps hanging around her so he can tell her they shouldn’t be together.
By the way, the first thing a classmate said to me my first day of High School was when a cheerleader told me “Get the F*** out of my chair you Motherf***ing A**hole” with enough hate in her voice to nearly set my hair on fire. Things went down hill from there.
I laughed more at this rifftrack than any other for a while. Thank you rifftrax, and in a roundabout way, thank you Twilight, for being such perfectly riffable crap and having the most stupid looking super speed running ever.
This is really one bad movie. A far cry from the recent Twilight.