I was watching the trailer for the upcoming movie “The Disaster Artist,” which is about the guys who made The Room, and it reminded me of the excellent film “Ed Wood.” So if you could make your own feature film about MST’ed or Rifftrax’ed movies/movie people, what would it be? Maybe even throw out some casting and location choices.
I’d have to say a decent movie about “Manos: The Hands of Fate.” How the heck did it get made and what has made it such a cult classic? Sure, there was a crappy 30-minute documentary about it in 2004 called “Hotel Torgo,” but let’s go Hollywood. I’d cast the ubiquitous Johnny Depp as Tom Neyman (The Master), Carey Mulligan as Diane (Margaret) and Chris Pine as John Reynolds (Torgo).
Whaddya think, sirs?
Your pick!
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Movie about Monster a Go Go. call it, but there was no Movie.
‘BIG THIGHS:The Torgo Conundrum’
tom cruise as Torgo
christian bale as the Master
hugh jackman as Michael
scarlett johansen as the wife
and whatever already screwed up kid star they can find as Debbie,
oh, and mel gibson as the make out cop.
The Wild World Of Batwoman –
Really stinky movies seem to have the most interesting background stories and Batwoman is about as stinky as it gets. How did this movie happen and what mixture of pharmaceutical enhancements were involved in writing the script? Was there a script?! I nominate the cast of any given Victoria’s Secret commercial to “star” in the docu-drama.
I’ll go with a lesser discussed gem, “The Screaming Skull.” This would be great from a film history perspective, talking about marketing and scare tactics of drive-in films from the 1950’s. Notable also is that director Alex Nicol played the endearing, lovable Mickey, predating the ‘director as a character’ technique of master filmmakers M. Night Shyamalan and Francis Coleman.
DVD Bonus feature: “How to save on production costs by not having your set furnished; simply say the characters are moving in!”
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUBBED.
A film about the making of Horror of Party Beach.
With Jennifer Lawrence as Elaine, Ryan Reynolds as Hank, and Viola Davis as Eulabelle.
Special guest appearance by Johnny Mathis as the biker!
I’d like to see the Coen brothers tackle the making of the epic Coleman Francis trilogy, with John Goodman as Coleman and John Turturro as Tony Cardoza.
Watch Out For Snakes!
Tom…. Zac Efron
Roxy… Daisy Ridley
Eegah… Kristrap Porzingis
Mr. Miller… Arch Hall Jr
“The Incredibly Strange Producers Who Stopped Making A Good Movie and Became Mixed Up Hacks: The Making of ‘The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies.'”
I like this idea in general, but I’d prefer to see a movie focusing on The Skydivers. It would be a Wes Anderson film, starring Michael Chiklis as Coleman Francis, Tom Hanks as his friend Tony Cardoza, Amy Adams as Beth, and Aubrey Plaza as Susie. There would be a part where Francis offers everyone he meets coffee and a plane ride if they’ll be in his movie, resulting in the big dance scene at the end. The best scene would be the one explaining how Francis manages to get Jimmy Bryant to appear.
I would bet that there’s a pretty good story about the making of Ilya Muromets, a.k.a. The Sword and the Dragon. How did a movie get made in the Soviet Union? The executive meddling would probably make MST:The Movie look like a shining example of creative freedom.
Teenagers from Outer Space! The backstories behind this movie would make a great movie in themselves – how the director/actor Thomas Lockyear Graeff (ace reporter Joe) borrowed money from fellow castmates Thor & the secretary to make the movie, then never paid him back; illicit forbidden love with, ahem, David Love; then later going crazy and thinking he was some sort of religious figure.
“The Making of the Giant Spider Invasion”
You actually have five members of the cast with some pedigree; Barbara Hale, Alan Hale Jr., Leslie Parrish, Robert Easton and Steve Brodie. I would love to know what the hell went so wrong. I think even the plot is not too bad. What lured them to do this film school film? If I want dark, I want Tim Burton directing. In a really bizarre twist, give me Kenneth Branagh playing Steve Brodie.
And show how they built the giant spider and moved it around! And why some of them were shoved up its butt!
This is a good place to mention “The Creep Behind the Camera”, the movie about the making of “The Creeping Terror” and its psychopathic abusive director Art Nelson a/k/a Vic Savage.
I’d be interested in the story of David Giancola, and how a 20 year old got the financing and support to make his first movie Time Chasers and built a successful career as a B movie director/producer. In fact, that’s the interesting part of Ed Wood – how do you accept that your movies are always going to be second tier and learn to work within that and still be happy and successful?
I also try to imagine the relationship between the filmmakers and the backers. Was it like Bialystock and his old ladies in “The Producers?” Or maybe more like:
“I’m making a movie, and I’m looking for investors. It’s going to be about three guys who came back from the Bay of Pigs and their difficulty in re-adjusting to society.”
“I see, Mr. Francis. Have you made any movies before?”
“Yes, two. One was a tragedy about a Russian dissident who died due to radiation poisoning, and the other was about barnstorming skydivers.”
“Oh, I saw ‘The Gypsy Moths.’ With Burt Lancaster and that guy with a head like a potato. Loved that movie.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“How much of it will $200,000 buy me?”
Gamera Soup for the Rubber Soul. Jim Henson’s Creature Shop would nail this.
The making of “Gamera” would probably make an interesting movie, but as part of a larger narrative about the beginning of the kaiju genre in Japan, and the competition between Toho and Daiei studios.
Thanks for choosing my topic! I’m loving the responses and there are some really great ideas.
If the actual movie Ed Wood can be even partly believed, I think Wood never thought his movies were second tier and actually thought they were great. We don’t have to look far in modern times to see celebrities or figures in the news who are delusional and truly think every crappy or infantile thing they do/say/make/support is the best EVER.
Interestingly enough, it was Anthony Cardoza that did much of both the money raising and the editing.
Here’s an interview of him on the B-Monster website. It’s an interesting piece of “history” of working with Coleman Francis.
http://www.bmonster.com/profile37.html
Maybe a musical about the making of the Atomic Brain. Mostly I just want to see a big song and dance number (like “The Rain in Spain” or “Moses Supposes”) where the director tries to get three women from Nebraska to speak with convincing foreign accents. By George… I think they never got it!
I’ve always thought Michael Bay fell into this category. He’s pretty much a successful version of Ed Wood.
A movie about ‘The Brute Man’s’ Rondo Hatton would be good. Show how a man with his condition was able to function and make a name for himself.
“Ed Wood” was not only a complete crock (apparently, according to Tim Burton, there was no Alex Gordon to co-write/produce Bride of the Monster and introduce Ed to Bela Lugosi, and Wood’s “Violent Years” success writing girl-delinquent films never happened), I’m guessing that the book it was credited as being “based on” was a last-minute rights acquisition for the credits, since the script seemed to have been written word for word out of three pages of the Medved Golden Turkey Awards, like a fourth-grade kid rewriting his school report off of Wikipedia. (And the Turkeys movie rights must have still been tied up by “It Came From Hollywood”.)
That said, I still haven’t yet rented “The Creep Behind the Camera”, the indie-film story of slimeball auteur Vic Savage and his monster carpet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv2Rx8mRhCU
The Making of The Creeping Terror. Sponsored by Banner Carpets.
I’d like to see a biopic of Coleman Francis.
I’d like to see a picture on how a work by Edmond Hamilton, a pulp Western sci-fi author, was turned into a Japanese TV Show (Star Force Fugitive Alien)
While never shown on MST3K, the 1982 film Inchon has an unusual backstory. For one thing, it was bankrolled by the Moonies. A lot of the actors involved claimed to have been left in the dark regarding the association. However, you’d think they would have realized that something sketchy was going on when they were literally paid with cash doled out of suitcases.
Kind of fills up the screen there, to say nothing of the issues of posting it on the marquee should it get a theater release.
Let’s not forget the unfair portrayal of Dolores Fuller as an uptight, shrill harpy.
“Yeti of Great Danger” suggests:
” I was watching the trailer for the upcoming movie “The Disaster Artist,” which is about the guys who made The Room, and it reminded me of the excellent film “Ed Wood.” So if you could make your own feature film about MST’ed or Rifftrax’ed movies/movie people, what would it be? Maybe even throw out some casting and location choices.
I’d have to say a decent movie about “Manos: The Hands of Fate.” How the heck did it get made and what has made it such a cult classic? Sure, there was a crappy 30-minute documentary about it in 2004 called “Hotel Torgo,” but let’s go Hollywood. I’d cast the ubiquitous Johnny Depp as Tom Neyman (The Master), Carey Mulligan as Diane (Margaret) and Chris Pine as John Reynolds (Torgo).”
Johnny Depp I can understand, maybe Carey Mulligan but Chris Pine? Nobody could possibly replace John Reynolds as Torgo except Mike Nelson.
Boggy Creek II –
I see a documentary look back at Boggy II and the Boggy Beast genera in general as seen from the minority perspective. Was The Beast really an African American horribly mistreated by the local population? I see Forest Whitaker as “The Beast” with narration by, of course, Morgan Freeman. Was “Doc” really a member of the KKK? Was Tanya a plant working for the Southern Poverty Law Center? It could definitely shake things up in the world of Beast Studies!
OMG, you’re right, what was I thinking?!? I guess I get distracted by Pine’s beautiful eyes. Reynolds was a fairly good-looking guy, before the bad makeup and satyr pants. And the drugs.
I agree with everyone that says a Coleman Francis movie would be fascinating. I mean, look at the guy! And he got some movies made! Whenever I see ‘Skydivers’ I wonder what making that movie was like, especially the party scenes with the giant woman, the Scotsman, the ersatz Mick Jagger etc… Can you imagine the cast party???
Not specific to a movie, but Susan Cabot, Who was in Saga of the Viking Women and Cinematic Titanic’s Wasp Woman had an odd and tragic life that seems like to it would make a good biopic.
She dated the King of Jordan and her dwarf son beat her to death with a barbell.
I’d like to toss my hat in for a Coleman Francis movie. Ideally it would cover all three of his movies, but if I had to choose one to focus on, it would have to be Red Zone Cuba. It’s by far his most ambitious movie, which makes sense, but it has many of his recurring players. Why would anyone choose to be in one of his movies, let alone more than one?
As far as stars go, I would say Christian Bale as Coleman Francis, James Franco as Tony Cardoza, Moe Szyslak as the other criminal, and Lou Costello as both Cherokee Jack and the junkyard owner.
Also, Tony Cardoza always claimed that Coleman Francis was killed by mobsters. What an ending!
At least Susan Cabot’s dwarf son didn’t shoot her with a crossbow while she was on the can.
Wow, that’s a great link! A movie that Sam Arkoff wouldn’t touch. That’s an achievement of some note.
So I stand corrected. The movie I want to see is Anthony Cardoza going to his friends and saying, “Coley and I are working on another movie. You want in?”
It would be a hoot to do a documentary about the filming of “Catching Trouble”. I suggest the following;
Exec Prod PETA
Ross Allen Chris Pratt
“Faithful Indian Companion” Wes Studi
Announcer Harry Shearer
The Final Sacrifice –
As updated for the #METOO MOVEMENT:
Troya McGreggor is a young student and long-term victim of sexual harassment in a small Canadian community. In a blind attempt to escape her pain she runs away and ends up under the wing of a hard, but tender-hearted older woman with a heart of gold named Miz Rowsdower. Rowsdower teaches Troya that she can fight back against her harassers by relying on her own courage and fortitude. After completing her education at Ziox Provincial College Troya uses the proceeds from a modest inheritance resulting from her parent’s investment in Lemon Mine stock and co-founds a microbrewery with Miz which they name Cervesa Del Sol.
Oh, I can definitely see a “making of Manos” movie done a la Ed Wood and The Disaster Artist.
However, one thing I’d do in my version: as something of a framing device, the film will also cover the making of the classic MST3K episode (i.e. Frank discovering the film, the writing process of the episode, how the episode’s eventual airing led to the film finally finding an audience).
Did anyone already make a joke about Depp’s being cast in the role of the Master, i.e., an abusive sex weirdo?
I acknowledge the joke, but this movie kind of already got made: The Creep Behind the Camera.
Yes, that was in my original suggestion as posted by Sampo to start the thread.
Sorry, I wasn’t sure if your casting suggestion was meant to be read straight or as a joke.
“Abusive Sex Weirdo” would make a great title for a film about the making of any number of MST3K classics: “Eegah”, “The Atomic Brain”, “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”, “Zombie Nightmare”, etc. . . .
Yes, but who would you get to play Elaine’s voice? :)
Either way works on Satellite News. :-D
I would love to know more about the day players and background extras in a lot of these films, especially Skydivers. Who hired them? Was any sort of payment involved? Did they know what they were getting into?
Has no one thought of Robot Monster?