Short: (1956) A fifth-grade girl and boy demonstrate how to have obsessive hygiene habits.
Movie: (1959) Detectives investigate a murder that they suspect is related to a secret porno operation.
First shown: 11/5/94
Opening: M&tB throw Gypsy a shower
Intro: Frank’s missing and Dr. F. begins to worry
Host segment 1: Frank has become a mad bomber, and gives the SOL a taste of what he’s planning for Deep 13
Host segment 2: M&tB check Frank’s background for clues
Host segment 3: There’s little hope until Mike remembers Frank’s weakness
End: Dr. F. stops Frank’s plan, Mike reads a letter, Frank has been deep-fried
Stinger: “Dirk? No that can’t be Dirk…uh-uh…no…that’s not Dirk…no.”
(249 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5)
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• I had a lot of people disagreeing with me the last time around, but I watched it again and I am going to stick with the “good-not-great” rating. It’s an Ed Wood movie, so you know it’s going to be good, and the riffing is fine, but the very topical host segments haven’t aged very well and that drags the overall rating down for me. Great short, though.
• You’ll find this episode in Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 9.”
• References.
• Of course that’s Paul as Huggy Bear and Patrick as Rooster. On the basis of these incredibly brief cameos, they’ll make a re-appearance in next week’s “Urkel” segments. In fact I wonder if these appearances were thrown in just to add two more characters to the bits in the next episode.
• The springboard for the host segments was the spate of “mad bomber” movies that hit theaters in ’94, in particular “Speed,” “In the Line of Fire,” and the now-pretty-much-forgotten “Blown Away.” At the time, I didn’t get most of the references, because I don’t go to the movies a lot and I hadn’t seen them on video yet. I do give Frank credit for capturing the tone most of the villains in these movies had. His evil faces are fun.
• Tom says: “I think these scenes are from a completely different movie” and in fact they are. The pizza joint sequences were shot in 1956 for a film that was to be called “Rock and Roll Hell” a.k.a. “Hellborn.” It was never finished, so Ed used the footage for this.
• This movie has no relationship with what the porn industry — even back then — was really like. Sadly, in about 10 years, Ed would know a lot more about what the porn industry was really like.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: datebook, bulletin board, film canister.
• Callback: During a host segment, Frank says: “You’re stuck here!” (Fugitive Alien).
• Speaking of callbacks, Mike refers to the the grinning car as “Jet Jaguar” and Crow whispers: “How would YOU know?” Fans had been doing that sort of thing for a while, so I guess it was inevitable that the writers would do it.
• Tom falls off his theater seat laughing, at one point.
• Cast and Crew Roundup: Cinematographer William C. Thompson (who was nearly blind when this film was made and required assistance) also filmed “Bride of the Monster,” “The Violent Years,” “Racket Girls” and “Project Moonbase.” Score composer Manuel Francisco a.k.a. Mischa Terr also composed music for “The Violent Years,” “King Dinosaur,” “The Unearthly” and “Bloodlust.”
In front of the camera, Harvey B. Dunn was also in “Bride of the Monster,” and “Teenagers from Outer Space.” Reed Howes was also in “The Phantom Creeps.” Harry Keatan was also in “The Violent Years.” Nick Raymond was also in “The Hellcats” and “Red Zone Cuba.” Conrad Brooks was also in “Bride of the Monster” and “Red Zone Cuba.” Kenne Duncan was also in “Radar Secret Service.”
• Creditswatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. Interns Wendell Anderson, Julie Van Goethem and Sarah Swanson (though in this episode they gave her first name as “Sara”–they fixed it in the credits of the next ep) begin their stints.
• Fave riff from short: “Remember, people like you better when you’re pretty.” Honorable mention: “Don’t touch that!”
• Fave riff: “Well, THERE’S her hat!” Honorable mention: “I’m just gonna ask: Is this a juniper bush?”
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That was Dylan-related, huh? That makes it make a little more sense, thanks.
They’re pulling this stuff out of thin air (as Mike notes, neither of them are cops) yet they’re somehow pulling out the *same* *story”…
Hm, wonder how that turned out…
“There’s a lot about me you don’t know!” Well, we know that he’s spent literally almost every second of his life in orbit (there were those few seconds in Deep 13 that one time), so I think we could be excused for politely doubting that he had “contacts on the street.” ;-)
Notice that he allows himself the out of “COULD.” You know, just “well, maybe, not necessarily.” “Moral commentators” of today could take credibility lessons from Ed Wood.
(this should be it for me on this one unless someone replies to me)
“Oh, what a world, what a world…!”
It’s too mainstream. They thought he was selling out.
Do you realize what you just said?
Yes, producing such fine films as:
Malibu Death Breast
Murder Most Moist (with Jeff Conaway)
Peekaboo Lace, P.I.
Dark Underpants (with Jeff Conaway)
Tongue Lashing
French Pistol (with Jeff Conaway)
Death Spank (with Jeff Conaway)
The Lingerie Justice Files
The Crotchless Killers (with Jeff Conaway)
Tap Pant Desire
The Hawaii Edible-Underwear Murders
Cheek Beat
The Waco Panty Raid (with Jeff Conaway)
Naked Came The Nude
Cod Police
Why Jeff Conaway, anyway? What was THAT about…?
***
In case all this talk of porn has raised, uh, further interest in the topic, here’s a film review site which reviews, among films in other genres (including many familiar to MST3K), porn films (so it’s not a porn site, it’s a site that tackles a great many genres INCLUDING porn (not unlike The Cinema Snob), porn as just a single component of the vast world of film, which I think is a distinction worth making).
It’s obvious that English is the second (or third) language of most of the reviewers but, still, IMHO quite diverting. A very few films don’t have actual reviews (w/, you know, actual words) per se but ALL of them have screencaps.
http://wipfilms.net/wipfilms-website-movies-list/
The Film Index doesn’t identify which films are and aren’t porn, though, so except for titles that are clearly recognizable as NON-porn, be prepared to be whisked into NSFW territory at a moment’s notice. See how many random clicks it takes before you come across a lesbian love scene. The answer MAY surprise you. ;-)
Oh, and be prepared to wonder, again and again and again, what the HELL is the deal with Japan…
(and to anyone who might be offended by porn in general, please remember, no one’s insisting that you click)
Oddly enough, in real life Zeppo was considered to be the funniest of the brothers. He just never developed a comic persona as the others did, and got stuck with the romnntic lead roles. Doubtful that the folks at Arby’s knew that, though.
So, before this thread kind of dies out as the next one approaches, did anyone look into that link I posted? Anyone? Anyone? Just curious. ;-)
And really, I’d like to know (if anyone in fact does know): Why Jeff Conaway? What was THAT about?