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Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Non-MST3K B/Bad MovieAlert reader Stacy suggests:
Oh don’t get me started on this topic. I WOULD say “Blood Freak,” but that may be too weird, so I will go with “Frankenstein Island.” Your pick? 59 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Non-MST3K B/Bad Movie”Commenting at Satellite News
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Arch Obler’s “The Bubble” (also known as “The Zoo” and “Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth”), a rarely-seen, odd and nightmarish movie about a group of people who find themselves in a strange town inside an impenetrable bubble.
And can I list “Invasion of the Saucer Men”, given that its remake “Invasion of the the Eye Creatures” was featured on MST3k?
Prince of Darkness: Donald Pleasence is very pleasant as a priest who becomes the last member of The Brotherhood of Sleep, an ancient secret order that has been keeping the lid on an even more ancient lava lamp full of pure Satan. But the lid is starting to pull itself off. So Donald gets the help of a quantum physicist played by an actor who was last seen as Egg Shen in Big Trouble in Little China. The Physicist rounds up a group of academics to investigate, including the blonde guy with the mustache who had last been seen screaming in to a telephone at the end of Halloween 3, and a smart ass Asian guy who tries to ease the tension by telling a joke about a Jewish Mother who gets angry at her daughter for bringing home a witch doctor instead of a rich doctor.
There are scrolls with apocalyptic prophesies including modern “differential” math equations, the evil lava lamp starts to exert it’s influence on the environment, controlling lower life forms like worms, insects, and Alice Cooper who impales an engineer on half a rusty bicycle. The liquid in the lamp starts to drip upward as it escapes. The researchers start getting possessed and typing threatening Biblical allusions before attacking each other. And the malignant AntiGod threatens to use a mirror to cross over from the liquid opposite particle universe. Carpenter does a great job of melding the bizarre nature of quantum physics with weird Lovecraftian style atmospheric horror.
Devil’s Rain: William Shatner and Ernest Borgnine chew the scenery and a bunch of cultists (including John Travolta) melt in the rain like crayons left out on a hot sidewalk.
City of the Living Dead (AKA The Gates of Hell): Lucio Fulce saw the work of other Italian Directors and said, “You call that incoherent? I’ll show you incoherent.” Most famous for a scene where a woman pukes her guts out in the most literal sense. Seems to have been edited with a sledgehammer and a chainsaw by Hunter Thompson during one of his less lucid LSD benders.
One thing that stands out is the middle story of an anthology movie from the 80’s whose name I can’t remember. Emilio Estevez is a video gamer who is obsessed with reaching the mysterious tenth level of a game called Bishop of Battle which featured an ominous looking digitized “Easter Island” style head which taunted the player. After breaking into the arcade at night Emilio reaches the tenth level of the game and the enemies from the game emerge in to the real world and attack. Emilio apparently defeats them, but then The Bishop emerges and sucks the gamer’s soul inside the machine. It’s pretty cool. Anyone know what movie this is from. Can’t remember the first story of the anthology. The third had Lance Henrickson as a priest whose faith is renewed when he kills a demon car with oil can full of holy water or something.
1983: Nightmares.
Four short stories based on urban legends.
I remember The Bishop of Battle, but not the other three.
Anchor Bay out of print DVD is seemingly very rare.
Google it.
I’ve always wanted to check out “Nightmares”. Ever since I read about it in a book called “Destroy all Movies” about Punk Rockers in movies, It’s an awesome read.
I’ve got a movie for ya. Let’s keep it in 1983 with a movie called “Joysticks”. Video arcade + Punks + Joe Don Baker = MST3K Gold. I love that little B Movie.
Irwin Allen’s The Swarm, without question. A monumental and preposterous misfire in every respect, and hilarious from start to finish (even in the expanded edition released to DVD) it is almost impossible to believe it was made by grown-ups, let alone Oscar-winning talent.
Two more that might be too good for the category but I’ll mention them anyway are Mister Frost And The Prophesy.
Mister Frost stars Jeff Goldbloom as a serial killer in a mental hospital who claims he is The Devil and wants his therapist to murder him. And Tony Soprano’s doctor thought she had her hands full.
The Prophesy stars Christopher Walken as a rogue Archangel Gabriel who at one point says, “I am an angel. I turn cities in to salt. I kill firstborn children while their mamas watch. And sometimes, when I’m in the mood, I even rip the souls out of little girls. And the only thing you can count on from now until Kingdom Come is never understanding why.”
Now that I think of it I’m also a fan of the 70’s Eco-horror movie called Prophesy with Talia Shire and Armand Assante who has one of the best names I’ve ever heard. How I’d love to be able to go in to a room and announce, “I am Armand Assante, and you’re not.”
MEGA PYTHON VS GATOROID
!
If they do Season XII without doing that one, I’ll … I’ll …
I’ll take my hat off, throw it on the ground, and jump up and down on it.
They’ve been warned!