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All Classic Episodes RankedJim Vorel at Paste Magazine has undertaken that herculean task of ranking every classic MST3K episode. I certainly don’t agree with all the rankings (I’m guessing nobody but Jim will) but I raise a glass to his noble effort. Check it out here.
35 Replies to “All Classic Episodes Ranked”Commenting at Satellite News
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Is anyone else having trouble viewing this site? It keeps crashing with a “problem” message.
Affirmative. Not just you. Site not load. They go hell.
I was surprised that my relatively unlikely number one made it as high as Number 12 on his list. But yeah, it’s a given that nobody will come close to agreeing with someone else’s list.
I read the headline and thought “LEMME guess…Space Mutiny at #1, right?”
Why, no, how silly of me: Space Mutiny was at #2. Final Sacrifice was at #1.
I went directly to the Paste website and had almost no problems.
Opinions are… yadda yadda yadda…
My favorite episode of MST3K is and will always be “The Girl in Lover’s Lane.” Almost every riff is a continuation of one of the lines from the movie. It just flows so hilariously for my funny bone.
And Elam…
“Come on drifter, drift!”
Just saying…
Can’t argue with #1, despite how obvious a choice it is. It still gets me all giddy.
I wouldn’t put “Cave Dwellers” that high, but I do agree that “Pod People” was the first truly good episode.
And I’m glad he highlighted “The Brute Man”- I agree, an underrated episode.
I was surprised that my favorite episode, The Rebel Set, was at 43. I thought it would be lower since not many other people think it’s so good.
My favs were Manos, Amazing Colossal Man. & Brain That Wouldn’t Die. I thought most of the 50’s juvenile delinquent movies were above average. The Worst may’ve been Ring of Terror, which ran the fat jokes into the ground. The Coleman Francis movies were so uninteresting, they were often a chore to get through. Sometimes a movie (or the riffs) were drab, but the Host segments were strong (I.e. Last of the Wild Horses) or vice versa, so, it’s tough to rank. I agree with those that thought the SCI-FI era host segments were usually not as strong. But I’ve never seen an episode I wouldn’t watch a second time.
Interesting. Personally, I would not have put Red Zone Cuba so low on the list.
I have always thought the Coleman Francis trilogy was some of the Brains best work. I bailed after all three of them were ranked so low.
Coffee?
I had problem also with this page. I was able to scroll down once into the ratings until the page froze for about the 20th time…I will try again today.
nope…the page won’t even open.
I wouldn’t rank Red Zone Cuba so low. And if the episode is bad why not mention the weak host segments too?
Yeah this list is all over the place. How can movies like The Unearthly, Kitten With a Whip, and Radar Secret Service be so highly ranked? How could Red Zone Cuba be the third worst episode?
Sampo’s theorem applies.
I admire the effort, but anything as subjective as episode preference will never be definitive. I ranked my top 100 episodes, including KTMA, but not the movie. I figure my top 50 episodes I could watch at any time, over and over, and not get tired of. Episodes 51 to 100 are generally enjoyable in moderation and when the mood strikes. The remainder are generally too dull to keep my interest. The bulk of season 1 is at the bottom of my list, along with Mighty Jack and Fu-Manchu. The reviewer also gives a boost to movies with good shorts. My list makes no such concession. For example, I love X Marks the Spot and Crow’s “am I qualified” host segment. I also love Joel’s insane lemur sketch. However, King Dinosaur is so mind numbingly dull I can’t bring myself to put it in my top 100. The reviewer also ranked a few episodes way too low, notably Tormented, Sidehackers, and a few of the season 1 gems.
My own Top 100
1 301- CAVE DWELLERS
2 303- POD PEOPLE
3 506- EEGAH!
4 810- THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION
5 910- THE FINAL SACRIFICE
6 202- THE SIDEHACKERS
7 821- TIME CHASERS
8 820- SPACE MUTINY
9 507- I ACCUSE MY PARENTS with short: THE TRUCK FARMER
10 1012- SQUIRM with short: A CASE OF SPRING FEVER
11 904- WEREWOLF
12 310- FUGITIVE ALIEN
13 110- ROBOT HOLOCAUST with short: COMMANDO CODY PT 9 (partial)
14 421- MONSTER A-GO-GO with short: CIRCUS ON ICE
15 509- GIRL IN LOVER’S LANE
16 1008- FINAL JUSTICE
17 111- MOON ZERO TWO
18 601- GIRLS TOWN
19 306- TIME OF THE APES
20 414- TORMENTED
21 822- OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK
22 812- THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES
23 818- DEVIL DOLL
24 903- PUMA MAN
25 814- RIDING WITH DEATH
26 501- WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD
27 604- ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE
28 512- MITCHELL
29 1002- THE GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS
30 106- THE CRAWLING HAND
31 516- ALIEN FROM L.A.
32 1006- BOGGY CREEK II
33 402- THE GIANT GILA MONSTER
34 207- WILD REBELS
35 619- RED ZONE CUBA with short: SPEECH
36 112- UNTAMED YOUTH
37 209- THE HELLCATS
38 405- BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET
39 309- THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN
40 K13- SST DEATH FLIGHT
41 706- LASERBLAST
42 703- DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
43 404- TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE
44 415- THE BEATNIKS with short: GENERAL HOSPITAL PT 2
45 815- AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.
46 817- HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
47 1001- SOULTAKER
48 913- QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS
49 905- THE DEADLY BEES
50 901- THE PROJECTED MAN
51 1003- MERLIN’S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS
52 311- IT CONQUERED THE WORLD with short: SNOW THRILLS
53 419- THE REBEL SET with short: JOHNNY AT THE FAIR
54 802- THE LEECH WOMAN
55 418- ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES
56 424- “MANOS”: THE HANDS OF FATE with short: HIRED! PT 2
57 513- THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE
58 805- THE THING THAT COULDN’T DIE
59 902- PHANTOM PLANET
60 804- THE DEADLY MANTIS
61 514- TEEN-AGE STRANGLER with short: IS THIS LOVE?
62 609- THE SKY DIVERS with short: WHY STUDY THE INDUSTRIAL ARTS?
63 318- STAR FORCE – FUGITIVE ALIEN II
64 315- TEENAGE CAVEMAN with shorts: AQUATIC WIZARDS and CATCHING TROUBLE
65 317- VIKING WOMEN VS. THE SEA SERPENT with short: THE HOME ECONOMICS STORY
66 322- MASTER NINJA I
67 K20- THE LAST CHASE
68 307- DADDY-O with short: ALPHABET ANTICS
69 204- CATALINA CAPER
70 313- EARTH VS. THE SPIDER with short: USING YOUR VOICE
71 319- WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST with short: MR. B. NATURAL
72 K09- PHASE IV
73 1005- BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z
74 312- GAMERA VS. GUIRON
75 618- HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT with short: OUT OF THIS WORLD
76 603- THE DEAD TALK BACK with short: THE SELLING WIZARD
77 602- INVASION U.S.A. with short: A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY
78 621- THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS with shorts: MONEY TALKS! and PROGRESS ISLAND, U.S.A.
79 212- GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
80 K19- HANGAR 18
81 321- SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
82 324- MASTER NINJA II
83 517- THE BEGINNING OF THE END
84 518- THE ATOMIC BRAIN with short: WHAT ABOUT JUVENILE DELINQUENCY?
85 401- SPACE TRAVELERS
86 305- STRANDED IN SPACE
87 811- “PARTS”: THE CLONUS HORROR
88 406- ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES with short: UNDERSEA KINGDOM PT 1
89 813- JACK FROST
90 407- THE KILLER SHREWS with short: JUNIOR RODEO DAREDEVILS
91 1004- FUTURE WAR
92 908- THE TOUCH OF SATAN
93 612- THE STARFIGHTERS
94 K16- CITY ON FIRE
95 302- GAMERA
96 411- THE MAGIC SWORD
97 907- HOBGOBLINS
98 420- THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS
99 211- FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS
100 510- THE PAINTED HILLS with short: BODY CARE AND GROOMING
Dear LORD! I can’t read all THAT!
I agree that Red Zone Cuba is a chore to get through. It’s just so Depressing (all the endless firing squad scenes–and that’s before we get to the whole repugnant old-man-down-a-well-daughter-rape bit.
But anyway, yes, I don’t agree with the rankings (shocking!), but I do agree that some Season 1 movies would have been perfect fodder for later seasons when the riffing was stronger and more dense. Moon Zero Two, Robot Holocaust, Black Scorpion, and even the foggy Slime People would have made for potentially legendary season 4/5/6 episodes. (Don’t get me wrong, they’re perfectly enjoyable as is.)
Have we already done that as a weekend discussion thread?
YES!!!
That website’s loading problems remind me of ye olde 56k days.
@16 (and Sampo!) I also thought of Sampo’s Theorem while reading the Paste list. I disagreed with a lot of it, but I applaud the author for that massive undertaking!
I got part way through the article, checking out the bottom & top 50 picks, before I realized that maybe the guy wasn’t saying specifically that the bottom of his list were the “worst episodes”, they were simply too far away from his number one. It’s become clear to me over the years that my own “top ten” (Diabolik, Prince of Space, Invasion of the Neptune Men, Pumaman, Horror of Party Beach, Catalina Caper, Bloodlust, Final Sacrifice, The Incredibly Strange Creatures and Riding with Death) contains episodes that wouldn’t make some people’s “top 100”. It’s not that I think those ten movies are so much more awesome than all the other episodes, because they’re all good, and even just picking ten to single out here took more thought than I’d have liked. And that’s what I took away from that guy’s list, that he’s just putting the episodes into some sort of order.
First, @16 Johnny’s nonchalance: I can recommend a therapist if you need some help. We are all here for you, guy (an honest assumption based on your “name”).
Second, @16 Johnny’s n.: JK, all in good fun.
Third, I think the author did a good job, actually. Not my list, but a fun read and a good effort. It seems consistent in terms of his humor at least. I mean, it is, after all, just a show, so we should all just relax. And at a minimum, a good point of discussion for the likes of @16 Johnny’s n. and folks like me looking for an excuse to revisit an underappreciated (or is it?) episode or two.
I am sorry but I cannot agree with any of the rankings of this list.
I understand that no two Misties will agree on anything but come on now, Moon Zero Two at 166 and Mighty Jack, over all one of the funniest episodes, at 171 ??
I could agree with Jim’s methodology perhaps except he has episode 515, Wild, Wild World of Batwoman, at 109 and that is the worst episode, by ANY definition, in the series. I actually felt sorry for everyone who had to watch this and try to come up with riffs.
Top ten lists are usually interchangeable and I can usually see why a fan chose how they did. Not here however. Brute man was number 10 but Catalina Caper at 119 ?? 12 to the moon beat out Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Jim really thinks Puma Man was better than Riding With Death ?
Come on Jim, I’ll trade any of your top ten for Jack Frost, Eegah!, Prince of Space or The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, which you did not even put in the top 50.
Good grief.
A fun read . . . my main disagreement would be that I got immense joy out of the Coleman Francis trilogy. Otherwise, I’d be nitpicking. For what it’s worth, Werewolf is my # 1, just for rewatchability.
I tried using the direct link to the list, but it took forever to load and it kept locking up. That’s because it linked to the complete list. You could try going first to the website’s homepage, then going to the list. That puts the list up in segments and it loads much easier.
As for the rankings, I don’t agree with all of them, but that’s OK. Opinions may vary, after all.
Yeah; one of my top 5 favorites in his bottom 5. I didn’t even wait for the rest of the page to load…
You can’t go wrong with the Chief from Get Smart killing the laugh children, laugh guy from Giant Gila Monster.
well, it was a fun read over a couple of days! no denying much disagreement on a number of items, but i still haven’t “memory-ized” so many mike eps; for that matter, there’s still some joels i don’t know like the back of my hand… so, it’s tough to criticize. obviously a terrific effort went into the writing of that piece!
Rankings, schmankings! I just enjoyed reading the brief reviews and especially enjoyed the short clips. It was kind of like going to an MST3K dim sum restaurant and selecting from the many delicacies.
I’m just not at this particular level of being a fan (yet).
I like all the episodes so much that I can’t really rate them. And I’ve noticed my own “favorites” shift in and out of preference.
But I really hate Adam-12.
Nice! God bless all those who have taken the time to rank all 176 classic episodes. (Dramatic pause). Click on “GizmonicTemp” for my rankings, and for that matter, yours too!
By ANY definition? That’s funny, it’s in my Top 10. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child, but I think it’s one of the funniest out there.
You seem to be missing 21 episodes, including my favorite…
It’s a classic as far as I’m concerned and is worth watching repeatedly – if for no other reason than Bat Woman’s voluptuous presence.
I only wish it had been filmed in color so that I could more fully appreciate the spectacle and skin tones.