I’d call this “How Much Is That Kaiju in the Window?” — if you could adopt any pet/animal/monster/thing from an MST3K movie, what would it be and why?
I’ll go with Chris the Dog from “Revenge of the Creature.” He was a good boy and got a raw deal and his name is Chris.
What’s your pick?
Weren’t Ms. Creature and O. M. Crenshaw basically in a custody battle over TLC? Do you really want to put yourself in the middle of a domestic dispute?
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If I was single, I’d consider adopting a giant leech. As Frank said, “This is the most action I’ve had all week!”
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I might adopt a giant Gila monster, but I’d have to keep him away from my model railroad.
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That bright red horse that Annakki’s dad made would be a cool pet. He’s obedient, strong, not afraid of snakes, and he’s “the horse of a different color you’ve heard tell about.”
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The Thing In The Closet from “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die” would make a neat pet, as long as I could control him telepathically the way Jan in the Pan did. He could do all my chores, and if any burglars came around he would “take a bite out of crime” — literally! I could even command him to clean up his own litter box.
On the downside, he’s pretty hard on doors.
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I wouldn’t mind having one of the invisible guinea pigs from Amazing Transparent Man. They would be great if you lived in an apartment with a ‘No Pets’ policy.
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I’d adopt the Wind Demon from THE SWORD & THE DRAGON & rent him out as a leaf blower for whole neighborhoods.
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No pet pick here. Just some news. :-)
There’s lots of new stuff available at rifftrax.com.
1) A new full movie riff by Mike, Kevin, and Bill: “Astro Zombies”
2) A new Bridget and Mary Jo short: “Nobody Tells Me What To Do!”
3) A new Mike, Kevin, and Bill short: “At Your Fingertips: Sugar and Spice (Live Edition)”
4) A new “Just the Jokes” from Mike, Kevin, and Bill: “Road House (2016 Three-Riffer Edition)”
5) “Mad Monster” and “The Slime People” have been posted at the “MST3K Episodes on Rifftrax” section.
Enjoy!
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Oh!! I know what I want: The last of the wild horses! Because if I’m going to have a pet, I might as well corner the market while I’m at it.
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I was going to ask for one of the turtle aliens from “Laserblast”, but then I realized they’re probably drenched in salmonella. Plus the whole “probing” thing.
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I’d adopt the Devil Fish, so he could aid me in my plan for world dominance.
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Think I’ll adopt Troy’s limited edition Larry Csonka high school yearbook photo and give it a good home on the mantle. We will fritter away the days calling random people in the phone book. Time to break out the red sweater. Step aside Ken Bone…
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I’m getting that cat away from the jerk who destroys entire cities with his reviews before he roasts it with dragon breath. I think someone else already got the dog out.
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The little old man -Father Mushroom- from 820-Jack Frost would be great to have around, but isn’t likely to be considered a pet. So instead I’ll say Ivan (again, pet?) while he’s a bear. He’s always trying to good deeds, so let’s start with, say, vacuuming the living room. That’s if he doesn’t have to hide under the couch when he turns on the vacuum, like all my other “helpful” pets.
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Okay okay I’ll adopt Charlotte the fish from Nicholas. There we have now saved Miffy, Sparkle and Charlotte from Grandpa Borgnine. You can keep the evil monkey.
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The Creeping Terror, it’s both a pet and bedding accommodations.
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I’m glad this has turned into the rescuing animals from abuse thread. I’d like to find good homes for the poor alligator, gila monster, and various other reptiles forced to maim each other while wearing stupid dinosaur costumes during King Dinosaur, Lost Continent, etc.
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I looked into adopting one of the “Horrors” from Party Beach, but it costs too much to feed them. They’re constantly stuffing their mouths with hot dogs.
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A Mutant from This Island Earth.
I need a good team player for Frisbee golf.
Mutants are naturals.
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I wanted to adopt the Leopard Lady and Panther Woman from Racket Girls, but my wife said no.
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The Colossal Beast, because when he was asleep I could knock golf balls into his eye socket.
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Godzilla with Jet-Jaguar a close second!
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TRUMP-IEE! (no, not -that- “trumpy” – that ass-hat i’d abandon out in the mid-western appalachians and let ‘im fend for himself! on raisins!)
he could help take care-a my kitten n’ bunneh n’ gerbil n’ hamster n’ birdie n’ fishie n’ turtle n’…
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Well, maybe if you stuck the Puma Man in with the deal…
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I suppose I could adopt one of the the eye creatures, but I just don’t care.
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Your wife might want Puma Man’s friend Vadhino instead.
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Plus, he’s the Chevy Suburban of horses.
Gare
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The obvious choice is Gamera!! He is really neat AND full of turtle meat….bonus!!!
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