What is the most perfect riff at the most perfect time in MST3K films. The one that immediately comes to my mind is from “The Giant Spider Invasion” after Robert Easton tells his wife, “You’re so dumb you wouldn’t know rat dropping from Rice Krispies.” Crow’s answer: “Snap, Crackle, Poop.”
I’ve noted this one before but it still stands, from “Catalina Caper”: “It’s Gloria Estefan and the Catalina Deus Ex Sound Machina.” Amazing.
What’s your pick?
Nothing from Manos yot? How abot this one:
Movie: “The car won’t start.”
Crow: “That’s a real bitch, daddy!”
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Or this one, from the same episode:
Joel: “Do something! Gah!”
It fits the movie perfectly.
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This Island Earth:
Cal: I feel like a new toothbrush.
Crow: So rub me on your gums in a circular motion.
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From Mr. B Natural.
The shot fades from Buzz playing his trumpet to a smiling Mr. B. He or she then gives an okay sign.
Joel: IT STINKS!
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another I love: after multiple shots of Michael, Margaret, and Torgo contemplating their staying at Valley Lodge — will they? won’t they? should they? shouldn’t they? would the master approve? — the camera settles on Margaret:
“Ambiguity is scary!”
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Sometimes the movie perfectly sets up a reference. In Rocket Attack USA, when the spy reports home from a shed in Russia:
“I find myself in a shotgun shack, in another part of the world. But this is not my beautiful house…”
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Flash of lighting, crack of thunder.
Crow: STOP TALKING, JOHNNY LONGBONE!
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In “Giant Spider Invasion”, when the lush falls down and finds herself face-to-face with a fly-specked, severed cow’s head:
Mike (sinisterly): “Got milk?”
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I not sure how many times they used that gag, but it cracked me up every single time.
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From the Public Speaking Short
the “bad speaker’ is stumbling over his words and awkwardly hesitating and Crow/Trace says “er, um..panties!”
never fails to make me laugh and I often say this to myself at the appropriate times…
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ALSO – from the short “Are You Ready For Marriage”:
the camera cuts to a close up of the sternly Teutonic Justice of the Peace and someone says “Herr Oberst!” in a threatening German accent. Perfect!
BTW, “Herr Oberst” is how you would address the equivalent of a Major in the German Army…
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“Even THIS place has a great web site.” — Tom Servo, when the “heroes” of Boggy Creek II enter a hole in the wall in Hicksville, Arkansas.
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In Agent From Harm it always breaks me up when they start using the Ivy League panty boy voice “Looks like the old topnotch is in flames old trench!”
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GROGNARD (#113): you reminded me of one of my all-time favorite riffs:
Ava Vestok: “Are you coming, or will I have to swim alone?”
Crow (as Adam “HARM” Chance): “Yes and yes.”
So good. :)
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“Great balls of fire!”
–Crow T. Robot, Colossus And The Headhunters
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“I LOVE dis place!”
–Crow T. Robot, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
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“…and it’ll leave a huge stain!”
–Joel Robinson, Manhunt In Space
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“Let’s put our balls on the table, shall we?”
–Tom Servo, Danger: Death Ray
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“Well said!”
–Joel Robinson, The Unearthly
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“…with a Milwaukee Sawz-All!”
–Crow T. Robot, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
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“Not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle!”
–Mike Nelson, The Dead Talk Back
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In “The Girl In Lover’s Lane”, when Big Stupid is patching up Danny and telling him what a lousy fighter he is, Tom or Crow (I forget which) says, as Danny:
“What about that guy I groined in the knee?”
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In “War of the Colossal Beast” one of the characters arrives late and says, “Sorry to be so long”. Crow mutters, “Braggart”.
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Near the end of THIS ISLAND EARTH, after finally making it back to Earth (on a Friday, even), a relieved Ruth snuggles up to Cal, and Crow (as Ruth) says, “Oh, Carl.” Those two simple words contain levels of hilarity that reveal more with each viewing.
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Mine is from Home Economics… Joel is even giggling in anticipation of his line, when he says “My! She had a big breakfast, didn’t she?. Sties know the film line that proceeds it… Busts me up every time..
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#126
Right around then is the riff about that being, “Quite a hairdo on the middle girl” when her head aligns with some flowers or something.
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In Ring of Terror, when the “college student” is getting ready to go out and grabs his jacket. Crow does the really old guy voice “I’m gonna have to take a sweater…”
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Quest of the Delta Knights:
“Packers!!!”
Tom Servo, in response to seeing the main protagonist’s mother killed.
You can actually hear the other cast members giggling.
For this, I want “Packers!!!” to be my utterance on Earth.
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Also from “Home Economics”:
“Look, look, look at my crotch!
“Look, look, look at my crotch!
“Look at my crotch!
“Look at my crotch!
“Looooooooooooook at my crotch! Yaaaay!!”
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Another one, from LAST CLEAR CHANCE…
“Ask anyone who’s lived through a train accident and he’ll say…”
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”
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Riding with Death:
“A bear in the air back your way.”
CROW: “WINGED BEARS!! Oh my God, it’s the End Times.”
I missed the next 30 seconds of riffs, I was laughing so hard.
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“This may sound selfish..”
“But I want everything for me.”
From Screaming Skull.
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In “Operation Double 007”, after the wacky theft of the atomic nucleus, cut to the Thanatos board looking to one side: “What the hell was that!?”
Also the perfectly timed nod to “Love and Death” in “The Beginning of the End”: “Wheat. I’m deaf and they’re talking about wheat.”
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I love that recurring riff. Werewolf had two great ones:
“Look, I don’t want to sound skeptical… But this is SUCH crap.”
“But at the risk of sounding nuts… I’ve replaced my toes with grapes!“
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Gotta love the “finishing the sentence” riffs.
“I’ve been making…”
“this movie really hard to watch.”
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And here’s the original discussion for that.
https://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=17924
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“Every scene of this movie looks like somebody’s last known photograph.”
From “Manos.” Perfectly captures the weird snuff vibe.
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“Paneling world. Paneling world. Paneling world. Paneling world.”
From the same episode:
“Ident!”
“That’s a shame. Maybe you should try a poly-vinyl coating.”
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Girl In Lovers Lane, when Big Stupid is backing out of the room after a half-nude girl has tried to seduce him and he closes the two sliding doors together….”YEEOOOWWWW!!!”
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I just remembered another great one, from the short, “Are You Ready For Marriage”…
When the girl says they never argue, the counselor says, “Oh? No differences of opinion… or NO opinion?”
Tom blurts out, “Objection! Leading the witness!”
Cracks me up every time. :)
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In ‘Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.’
“He’s HERE!”
Crow: “GRAN-PA!! GRANPA!!!”
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So many, but one that slays me is from “Touch of Satan” where Farmer Square-Head tells Jody about his cider:
” I put peanuts in it!”
Crow: “Please tell me he said ‘peanuts!'”
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Just get the dagger out of my head! -Starfighters
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