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Weekend Discussion Thread: Lamest Leading LLLLady in a MSTed MovieWe’ve done “Lamest hero in a MSTed movie” but we’ve never really turned our attention to the “fairer sex.”
Who’s the most ridiculous female character in a MSTed movie? I’m going to have to go with the lady astronauts in “King Dinosaur.” They achieve nothing and are simply ballast for the entire movie. What’s your pick? Keep those discussion thread ideas coming! 62 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Lamest Leading LLLLady in a MSTed Movie”Commenting at Satellite News
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No one mentioned Melissa “Two-Sheds” Strickland of “Touch of Satan”. I mean, come on, you have the power of Satan and you can’t keep your police-killing grandmother tied up for a little while?
Whew, there’s so many, and I know some of these have already been mentioned, but I’ll just throw ’em on here anyway…
Col. Breiteis in Project Moonbase. She doesn’t do anything of substance that I can recall in that picture, except arch her back in the acceleration couch and get all perky when the two fighting guys accidentally set off the rockets.
The Really Boring Old Scientist-Type Guy’s Daughter in Cavé Dwellers. I found myself laughing at her independent of the riffing, just because her delivery was so bad. She does absolutely nothing in that damn’ movie at all — even less than Colonel Breiteis did in her movie. That one riff towards the end of Cavé Dwellers said it best: “Oh, is ‘Charles In Charge’ over? Glad you could make it!”
Batwoman in Wild Wild World Of Batwoman. Her costume is more suited to a Mardi Gras S&M party than to actual crimefighting — of which she does pretty much zero. All she ever does in that friggin’ movie is conduct meetings.
The competing leading ladies in Last Of The Wild Horses. Neither one of them really stood out for me. They just seemed like two lame, boring, generic mid-century Western movie cowgals competing for… that Duke guy? M’eh.
The Princess in Deathstalker. For the entire time she was in the movie, there was no way in hell I could get myself to believe she was an actual princess. She consistently came off as a simpering, whining teenaged shopping mall chick, a classic ’80s “type”. The fluffy-haired potato-eating wild mountain girl was more appealing to me than that friggin’ princess.
@ #51: Actually, she was mentioned in post #37.
Some of the characters discussed here aren’t actually “leading” ladies. The lamest Leading Lady has got to be Peggy Webber, for both Screaming Skull and Space Children.
The “astronauts” from “King Dinosaur” are a good choice, but I’d also have to pick the whiny princess from “Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell”. There are actually two princesses, both played by the same actress, but besides the fact that one “runs like Natron Means” and the other wears a “bra that flattens and separates”, they’re virtually indistinguishable.
Cathy from “Track of the Moon Beast”
“This brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down”
MOON ROCKS OH WOW
Then there’s Betty from High School Big Shot, she doesn’t even try to hide that all she wants is money and the male leads still ruin their lives for her. Yikes.
Both Amy and Daphne from Hobgoblins are up there.
Lessee… Leslie from Boggy Creek 2 literally does nothing but complain for the entire goddamn movie.
Joyce Manning from War of the Colossal Beast. Like Leslie, she mostly just complains the whole time, but at least she cares for her brother.
Meg from Tormented seems rather oblivious about pretty much everything going on around her.
Hestia from Fire Maidens of Outer Space. She lets herself get handed over to the Captain Kirk wannabe and nearly gets herself sacrificed.
Roxy from EEGAH. Just, eww. The way she talks to her “dad” is downright suggestive. Ew ew ew ew ew.
Batwoman and her batgirls don’t really do much of anything expect hold racist seances and get kidnapped.
Jessica from The Thing That Couldn’t Die who sees EVIL in everything. Flavia’s even worse.
Claire from Terror From the Year 5000 who antagonizes her hideously oily fiancee.
The entire cast of The Horrors of Spider Island.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts
and I am waiting for your next write ups thanks once
again.
I`m going with Lady Gumby from #111 ‘MOON ZERO TWO’….She shows up, clueless about where she`s going ( and apparently knows next to nothing about THE MOON in general, even though she purposely journeyed there to find her missing brother)…she pouts and whines, barges into mens`showers, and generally gets everyone she meets into trouble (or DEAD). Aside from lookin` good in her Future Underwear (which looks more like a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Bikini), she essentially just floats around The Moon getting into one mess after another.
On her plus side, she DID look Darn Good in that Future Underwear and DID seem agreeable about sharing the fortune in Sapphire she inherits, as well as her hotel room (apparently) with the ageing Space Legend Bill Kemp ( whom she read about waaay back when she was in school…Okay! He`s ANCIENT!)
But overall; Lady Gumby just was not the bold, intelligent and capable woman of THE FUTURE that one might wish to go through Life Or Death adventures with in…THE FUTURE !
I can’t argue with any of these choices, but the first one to pop into my head was the blond in Laserblast. She doesn’t do anything. Even when Eddie Deezen and his hetero lifemate molest her she tells Billy to stop defending her honor. Pretty lame.
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