I had the Season Eight theme song running through my head this morning (go figure), and I got to wondering about “… she threw a few things in her purse…”
What DOES Pearl Forrester have in her purse? Besides the inflatable world stress toy, of course. Here’s what I think are down in those dark depths:
— a bright red lipstick (la la la)
— a second lipstick exactly like the first because she forgot she already had it
— a grenade
— peanuts for Bobo
— a Dairy Queen Blizzard punch card that’s one punch away from being full
— old issue of “Better Homes & Castles”
— baby picture of Frank
I’d add: a church key (bottle opener) with the Schlitz logo on it.
What’s your guess?
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Old mint with a hair on it, obviously. Ziploc sandwich bag full of Chickin-in-a-Biscuit.
Pearl must have a rather large auiliary purse to carry all the
coins she needs to play her favorite hobby, the slots. Ka-ching.
(Unless some stupid wormhole changes history in some weird way
where slot machines no longer exist).
Oh, and a pair of really strong sunglasses to keep out the glare from the parents of the Space Children.
Garlic salt.
A baby picture of Clayton. And maybe a picture of the two of them at a famous local attraction, like perhaps the giant fiberglass muskie near Hayward, Wisconsin.
A jar of martini olives.
A copy of the movie Night of the Blood Beast, of course!
I’m sure that recipe for Turkey Surprise is in there somewhere as well. :turtle:
A handgun for shootin’ at the SoL.
Perhaps a betting sheet from the Bluffs Run.
Make-up, compact, butane lighter, pistol, box of ammunition, reading glasses, hairspray(for use by itself or with the butane lighter), travel-size tissue pack, autographed photo of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, various “female items,” a copy of Mein Kampf for some light reading, a hard-boiled egg(in case she meets Monty Hall), a list of train stations and combinations to lockers containing Jimmy Hoffa body parts, a mix tape of the last recorded songs from artists who died violent deaths and a war atrocity-themed crossword puzzle book.
A bone for her hair.
The keys for the Widowmaker.
The following receipts:
Bobo’s butt ointment
One soft, jumpable couch
12 pack of Simian Adams
Castle Movers Inc.
Public Pearl membership tote
On-the-go size Nair hair remover for upper lip.
There has to be at least a tablespoon’s worth of Chicken in a Biskit crumbs, maybe spare flecks of Brain Guy’s brain picked off in spite while he was sleeping, an a Harlequinn romance novel.
-Cyanide capsules (in case she needs to dispose of another husband)
-A keyring full of stolen keys (for keeping Bobo occupied on long car trips)
-A map of important dates in human history (to prevent alterations to the timeline)
-An autographed copy of Leonard Maltin’s Movie and Video Guide
-Vehicle registrations and insurance cards for The Widowmaker and the SOL
An unopened box of Chicken in a Biscuit…
Mace.
But I’m not sure if it’s the club version or the spray. My guess is the spray wouldn’t work in space…
2 cans Easy Cheese Cheddar and Bacon flavor
Extra sweater for when it gets down to absolute zero in space
Matches for Mikey
Extra stick-on beauty marks
VIP passes to several casinos and dog tracks
Map of Qatar
Oh, you know. A few things. :D
How about one of those stress balls that has her son’s face on it….You know, when she is feeling really ticked off.
Obviously I was having a brain fart when I submitted this idea for a WDT and meant a baby picture of CLAYTON instead of Frank. It would be really weird if she had a baby picture of Frank…. but then again… hmmm… Clayton and TV’s Frank — switched at birth?? Now that I think about it, Frank looks more like Pearl than Clayton does. There’s a dark story here, I’m sure.
A 9mm hand gun!!
Seasons 1 & 2 of Mannix!!!
Smoke and tear gas grenades!!
The keys to her VW wagonship.
A $2.00 off coupon for a hair rinse at her old beauty parlour.
A romance novel for her “me” time.
“a second lipstick exactly like the first because she forgot she already had it” made me laugh REALLY hard.
She would have a book of filthy stories.
Susan: It makes sense that she would have a baby picture of Frank rather than Clayton. She wasn’t subtle about her love for Frank and her disdain for her son. She’d keep a baby picture of Frank and pretend he was her son.
Matchbooks from at least three different casinos.
” “a second lipstick exactly like the first because she forgot she already had it” made me laugh REALLY hard.”
You’d be shocked how often this happens to us gals and beauty products. Of course, the same mindset has led to my husband having not two but THREE cordless screwdrivers. Which he does not carry in a purse. ;-)
P.S. Oh how I would love it if somehow Mary Jo herself would chime in on this thread!
Also, her Fabio International Fan Club membership card (that and
a strand of Fabio hair. Don’t ask how she got it).
Various Roman things belonging to Flavia she “accidentally” picked up during her visit.
Clods of Bobo’s hair that just ended up in there and sticking to her mints and chewing gum.
Keys to her green Ford Pinto she had on Earth.
A “Mr. Microphone” (and a second “Mr. Microphone” for Brain guy).
A DVD copy of Dunston Checks In.
Robert Smith’s phone number.
Various severed heads she’s been meaning to dispose of
Well-thumbed copy of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
Tic-Tacs
Assorted articles ripped out of tabloids
Spare change
Very old sticks of gum and hard candies
SOAP OPERA DIGEST, latest issue
GUNS N AMMO, latest issue
Phone numbers scribbled on napkin from people she isn’t quite sure she remembers because she was drunk at the time
Clay’s old asthma inhaler
A solitary circus peanut
Business cards for Nazi memorabilia shops
Desktop calender for 2006
The Six of Clubs
Tesla death ray
Melted Kit-Kat Bar
Travel size sewing kit with spools of green thread
Spare false eyelashes
Dirty book
Can of vienna sausages
Bag of dog treats for Bobo
Ball of wadded up tissues marked with lipstick prints
Flask containing butterscotch schnapps
You don’t suppose Howard is stuck in there?
A cell phone with “selfies” from Anthony Weiner and Gerald-Doh.
A photograph of a young Heinz Doofenshmirtz with a thank you note (not from Jimmy Fallon) on it for Clayton’s advice on evil science, which Pearl kept for sentimental reasons. It’s been crinkled a few times by Pearl over the years.
A trinket from the carnival given to her by Ortega.
A key to Castle Forrester which had broken off in the lock when she left after the last experiment (when she put a few things in her purse leaving the castle).
Her old glasses from the Deep 13 days. As a weapon (sharp points).
A photo of herself and Clay, again for sentimental reasons. In the picture, she’s smothering him with a pillow.
A slip of paper with the phone number of someone named Art.
You guys are making me hungry for “Chicken in a Biskit” crackers with cheez-wiz! Heaven on a cracker, heaven in my mouth.
Several decks of cards from various casinos and hair things.
The movies or the list of movies that she tells Brain Guy to send to Mike and the ‘bots.
Obviously I was having a brain fart when I submitted this idea for a WDT and meant a baby picture of CLAYTON instead of Frank.
I thought that was your subtle sense of humor: she loved Frank, and not Clayton, so it would make more sense that the picture was of Frank. She probably has two pictures: one of she and Frank together at a casino, dog track, or the Corn Palace — and the other is Frank’s glamor shot.
a Dairy Queen Blizzard punch card that’s one punch away from being full
Which expired in 1986.
I guess I somehow see Pearl as not going anywhere without a Journey 8-track by her side.
I already posted, but my first thought I didn’t put down.
A very small house key broken in half from when Clayton “put mom in a home”. :D
Considering her date with Sandy, well, Pearl probably has condoms in her purse. :pain:
@ MikeK #40:
POOM!
http://youtu.be/9Lp6iCKTj4U
# 32 I would take Howard, if I could! Maybe Brain Guy could shrink him to travel size, and then reverse that as needed.
A roll of quarters for the nearest slot machine and a the latest copy of “Guns and Ammo”.
I see Pearl’s handbag as something that’s likely quite similar to Felix the Cat’s magical bag of tricks. Why, there could be anything in there! If someone like oh, say, you or I should look into it, all we’d likely see is some mouse droppings and a Werther’s Original. But when she reaches into that bag she could pull out anything from feminine hygiene products to radioactive isotopes (careful, don’t mix those up!), hot-pads, or even Roses’ Lime Juice. Why I went to bed one night and woke up to find her pulling ME out of her handbag once! The mind fairly boggles.
At least one small nuclear device. Not a planet killer though. Since that would destroy casinos.
brass knuckles, body of jimmy hoffa, pocket size bottle of some liquor that is 150 proof or greater.
Electric toothbrush with the bristles worn down to the nub.
Keychain that says “Worlds Best Cat Mom”.
Sock Monkey.
One cucumber.
There are some instances/topics wherein I have no desire to participate in group theoretical humor.
This is one such moment in time.
:skeleton:
(It’s a very rare moment, so feel free to celebrate. You’re witnessing history.)
I happen to know what was in Pearl’s purse. And three of you are dead on.
RAD
-A huge keyring full of casino comp cards. Bobo plays with those when he gets bored in the Widowmaker but heaven help him if he loses them.
-Assorted sugar packets
-The romance novel that Crow read to her when she was sick
-Industrial strength makeup remover
-Nail glue
-Dry shampoo + a mega can of Aquanet
-Lemon-flavored gin
-Those pocket heating pad thingies