Have we done a Weekend Discussion question like, “Which MSTed movies would you re-write the ending to, and how?” Actually, I wouldn’t mind seeing a remake of this one using the ‘bots ending.
It feels like we have, but I searched around and I don’t think so. So let’s do it!
I’ll pick the easy one: At the end of “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” Mike’s shot successfully kills The Master and also alerts the police, who arrive and round up the entire group. We close with the family — and a new puppy — cavorting on a Texas beach.
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I always thought Pod People needed a better ending than Trumpy just being abandoned in the woods, but any actual closure would diminish that ol’ Spielbergian sense of wonder achieved by having the audience wonder “…the Hell?” Besides, I love that one so much that I’d feel like I was tampering with perfection.
Then it hit me: the change needs to be to the half-motion F.V.I. closing credits sequence. More Galaxy Invader just doesn’t cut it, since by then the audience has realized that it’s just footage from another unrelated film, and the magic it held under the opening credits is diminished.
Instead, I’d F.V.I.-ify the infamous rape scenes from Galaxy of Terror and Horror Planet/Inseminoid, followed immediately by the McDonald’s birthday party scene from Mac&Me, with the lovable title guy dancing about in his bear suit. You know, just to drive home to the audience that, yes, the movie you just watched seriously tried to cash in on Alien and E.T. at the same time. Mull that one over in your dreams tonight.