It’s probably a given that all of us have MST3K’ed a movie at some point in our lives, maybe frequently, maybe usually, but has there ever been a time when you wanted to be quiet but due to the movie and/or occasion just couldn’t contain yourself?
My example was showing “2012” to a group of friends in our big (9′) home theater. None of us had seen the movie before and, because these were not “MST3K” friends I would not in a million years think of riffing on the film. But it was so incredibly bad and over the top I couldn’t contain myself, and started a running commentary (at first very low and then, as folks started to laugh, probably much too loud) that probably spoiled (if that were possible) the movie for the rest of the folks (at one point one of my guests asked me if I found disasters funny and I said “Only disastrous films”).
My only saving grace was when the little dog made it onto the boat my wife said loudly “well, at least we now have something to eat” which cracked me up (okay, so maybe you had to be there).
I was in a packed theater for the opening night of “The Return of King,” and when the Army of the Dead zoomed off the battlefield and into Minas Tirith and began zipping around inside the city, I leaned over to my daughter and said, not as quietly as I should have: “Scrubbing bubbles! Scrubbing bubbles!” About eight people shushed me. I slunk down in my chair.
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The only time I’ve ever spoken out to a movie screen in an actual movie theatre was during “Star Trek:Generations”. During the scene where Captain Kirk is dying, having fallen from the cliff, as Picard is leaning over him, I yelled out “Call 9-1-1!!” (Shatner was starring in the TV show “Rescue 911” at the time.) It was a silly scene, anyway, and deserved a laugh.
I don’t do it in theaters but at home its fair game. But there was one moment in the newest boring as hell Harry Potter movie. They were in the cave near the ocean and it alludes to something being in the water. My friends and I assumed it was Ole Greg. What seemed like 10 minutes or so of tension building while they amble to the crystal, finally we get to the shot of Potter getting grabbed by one of the things. I said in my best faux english accent but not too loudly “I’m ole greg!” And I got a lot of laughs from people in our immediate area.
This continued to where all of them crawl out of the mist with some on top of each other in some odd positions. “Do you love me?” to which a audience member replied “Please Greg, not here in front of everyone”
I remember riffing on a classroom film back in high school that was so cheesy the teacher actually started adding in a few riffs. (Pity I don’t remember what the film was). Normally I’d get chastised for doing it.
I didn’t realize “solipsistic” was a word banned by the Thought Police (145/149). My entire comment (136) was basically a restatement of Comeon! @ 90, who questioned peoples admitted lack of self-control in social settings. Most of these stories involve the riffing being unsolicited by those around you, even at home. Too many of them contain the phrase, “I was told to leave the room.” Get it? You are annoying the people who love you. Why spoil other people’s experience just because you think of a joke? It may be a release for you, but is a distraction for them.
If you have a mate or circle of friends who enjoy riffing with you, good on ya. I do not (so maybe I’m bitter). I have been “that guy” who makes comments during movies that gets shushed by friends, and it took me awhile to realize some folks do not have the desire (or the ability) to “talk back” to their media, to break the trance and call out the emperor for having no clothes. Instead of thinking that people are stupid for not wanting to hear my clever witticisms, I had to accept that we’re just different. Yelling will not awaken them. So I learned to shut up, and to not watch dumb movies with them any more.
This thread above does contain a bunch of funny jokes, but then I am on the same humor wavelength as most here. My “9 times out of 10, you are not funny” was meant from the “others” POV, the rest of the world who views MST as those pesky critters at the bottom of the screen who won’t let me enjoy my stories.
Also, talking in movie theaters can get you hurt…
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/Iraq-Vet-Charged-with-Movie-Theater-Shooting.html
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-movie-theater-stabbing,0,6105625.story
Quote from the first story:
“Our hero was watching the latest Brad Pitt vehicle, ‘The Strange Case of Benjamin Button’ . . . when a family sitting in front of him started chattering,” “James asked them to pipe down… but the noisy bunch persisted. So he did what any right- thinking person would do – he shot the father.”
My friends remind me constantly not to do it in theaters any more, but my best one was after falling asleep half way through lord of the rings 2 I awoke to the giant battle scene and turned to my friend and said “captain the trees are revolting”
I have read all your comments and riffed every one of them. Is that wrong? :twisted:
The only incident of untimely riffing I can recall perpetrating wasn’t in a “movie” situation, but in…of all places…a meeting of the hospital I/T department where I work. My boss was giving a rhapsodic speech about advancing the level of computer technology that the hospital staff was accustomed to, and how we would have to do some preliminary “hand-holding” to make it happen. He wrapped up his talk by dramatically adding the final line: “We’re changing the world!”…to which I involuntarily blurted out the response, “…one diaper at a time!”. Well, the whole room fell apart with laughter, except for my boss, who simply hung his head (although he WAS grinning). I apologized by saying, “Sorry…didn’t mean to step on your “moment” there!”…which got ANOTHER laugh.
I only do it if the movie isn’t pulling me in. If I’m watching something bad in the theater by myself (it’s happened), I tend to get irritated and mutter to myself, but nothing more. With audiences that happily put up with the ads before the movies, I wouldn’t get a good reception if I spoke up.
Several times a friend and I have gone to a movie that turned out terrible, and I try to make him laugh. Examples include Black Christmas (the new, horrible one) and Mirrors. Yes, we go to a lot of horror movies together, hoping for good ones. I can’t come up with any examples of the riffs because I’m not that great at improvisation, and the movies themselves were black holes that I don’t want to recall.
At home, I usually watch things by myself. Riffing to myself is a good way to make the time pass if the movie turns out bad, but I do it mostly out of exasperation. The few things I watch with others tend to be family, and my family has no appreciation for MST3K, so I just leave the room if they’re enjoying something I’m not.
Sidebar: will someone please riff Poltergeist? That movie stars some of the stupidest characters in existence and deserves a thorough tearing apart.
159:
There IS an iRiff for Poltergeist, over at Rifftrax.com:
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hor-riff-ic-productions/hor-riff-ic-poltergeist
Over course it’s not Mike & crew, but it looks decent enough, if a little low key.
Sitting at home watching ‘A.I.’; I began ad libbing for ‘Teddy’; talking like a guy normally would sound like having too many smokes.
Scene where Teddy introduces himself by saying “I’m not a Toy”
RESPONSE: I’m an action figure dammit.
Scene where Teddy stops David from eating.
RESPONSE: Feeling lucky punk?
Scene where Teddy’s walking by David through the woods
RESPONSE: God..damn…stupid….this trail…argh…sucks…
Scene where David meets the Blue Fairy statue and repeatedly keeps asking her to turn him into a real boy.
RESPONSE: Trapped underwater with a robot with ‘Pinnochio Syndrome.’ I wish I came programmed with a ‘suicide function.’
Scene where the blue Fairy finally appears after humanity is gone.
RESPONSE: there you are…where the Hell have YOU been?
My sister liked teddy and my parents were trying to comprehend this film’s..ahem…plot. so they kept shushing me every time I ad libbed Teddy. I couldn’t help it…a boy robot with a talking bear looking for the blue Fairy. Just couldn’t resist riffing ‘AI’ when I was told not to.
Opening night of Dinosaur, went with about five friends, packed theater.
By ten minutes in, I was getting restless because the original trailer of the movie was the first ten minutes of the movie, so it was not a good start. Plus, let’s face it, it’s The Land Before Time.
I started riffing after ten minutes although most of them were not that funny. Suddenly, I feel someone grab my shoulder and say he’d paid money to watch the movie and wanted me to shut up. The problem was now my friends were agreeing with me and we’d just turned on the movie.
Couple of the zingers:
As the forest is burning down “They shouldn’t be living so close to Los Alimos.” (There were some bad fires in New Mexico at the time)
As they reach the garden land “They discovered a golf course!”
Admittedly, not too funny.
I’m jumping in rather late because this only occurred last night. I was watching an episode of Night Gallery (the Rod Serling hosted horror anthology) and the story in question was The Hand of Borgus Weems. For those not familiar, this story concerns a man whose right hand starts acting on its own volition. At one point, the protagonist is going on about how his hand is making him do bad stuff. You would not believe all the masturbation jokes which came to mind (or perhaps you would).
I’m jumping in incredibly late. When I was 12, I went to the opening night showing of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” I vaguely remember riffing a lot. Most of them were probably not funny at all. But, at one point when the T-Rex is walking around town, I said (all too loudly) “here bunny, bunny… here wabbit!” Which I think was an Elmer Fudd quote. For some reason I still remember that riff.
I usually only riff when I’m watching a movie at home or with a trusted group of friends. This is mostly because I feel that 90% of the general public wouldn’t understand! The one time I can remember riffing when I wasn’t supposed to and suffering any real consequences was when I watched Slumdog Millionaire with a group of people I didn’t know AT ALL.
I was staying with a friend and his wife for a couple of days. My buddy informed me that his wife’s entire family would be visiting and I should act “respectable”. I managed to endure an entire day of thrilling activities with my friend’s in-laws (including a game of bocce ball, a wine tasting, and an endless string of stories about people I didn’t know), when finally it was suggested that we watch Slumdog Millionaire. It had just been released on DVD and I had not seen it yet, so I agreed. I probably would have been able to make it through the movie without uttering a word if it hadn’t been for my buddy whispering a joke to me during the opening credits. From there, I just couldn’t contain myself…maybe it had something to do with the wine tasting. About twenty minutes into the movie I was asked to leave. Since I was staying at the house and didn’t have anywhere else to go, I simply stood in the bathroom until everyone left.
First off, Bones, great reaction!
Secondly, I riff at everything now. Live sports events, nightly news, even movies and TV shows that I like! So, I don’t know if there is ever a time in our house when riffing is considered bad. My wife and I will sit around on the weekend and watch the Sci-Fi – excuse me, SyFy – Channel’s movies and riff on them as much as we can. I cannot watch anything anymore without at least coming up with 1 or 2 good riffs.
It’s probably sad, but…
I know I’m a little late to this post, but a couple years ago I was over at a friend’s house and they decided to watch Panic Room. There were quite a few people there, but the movie was so bad I couldn’t help but riff the entire thing with my one friend who doesn’t even watch MST3K. After the movie my other friend who likes MST said he was never going to watch another movie with us again because he was trying to pay attention to it. I just couldn’t help myself, it was such a bad movie. I’m sorry, but it was just another movie that Jodie Foster acted her part the exact same way she has in just about every one of her films, not to mention the silliness of the story itself. He ended up watching other movies with me after that, so apparently it wasn’t too scarring for him. Nobody else said anything, but I definitely got a bad vibe from some of them.