Short: (1956) A explanation of why boys should take shop class even if they think they’ll never need it.
Movie: (1963) Conspiracy and adultery abound at a small skydiving school.
First shown: 8/27/94
Opening: Tom’s planetarium show is disrupted
Intro: M&tB and the Mads compete in a swing choir competition
Host segment 1: Mike’s shop class doesn’t go well
Host segment 2: Crow puts himself in a “double jock lock”
Host segment 3: Tom bombs Crow
End: Crow and Tom struggle in their parachutes, letter, the Mads have switched to dodge ball
Stinger: “I don’t know. I feel real free up there in the high blue sky.”
(266 votes, average: 4.66 out of 5)
Loading...
• I love this episode. We now begin our descent into the works of one Coleman Francis. Those wondering how he got the idea he could direct probably need look no further than the extensive list of bit parts he played in Hollywood over three decades. One begins to imagine Coleman, having spent so much time on movie sets, watching actual directors work, that he began to think he could do it himself. How wrong he was. That said, this movie is probably the best of Francis’ oeuvre, which isn’t saying much, but still. You almost get caught up in it. Not quite, but almost. Plus you’ve got a classic short and a series of host segments where poor Crow suffers one hilarious indignity after another. All in all, a winner in my book.
• This episode is featured in Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol. 1.”
• References.
• The Servo in the opening is the one they use in theater (or one like it), just as Timmy the Dark Crow was the Crow they use in the theater. When they paint ’em black they make better silhouettes.
• The swing choir sketch is a classic. I had never heard of “swing choir” growing up. Our choirs were more of the “stand stock still in a robe” variety. But with the advent of “Glee” everybody understands now.
• The achingly funny short was shown at the Museum of TV event in Los Angeles in ’95. I think mentioned in a previous entry that it was really an epiphany for me, since I had never watched MST3K on a big screen with such a large group before. The crowd was just roaring with almost deafening gales of laughter. I’d seldom been in a crowd of people all laughing so hard and loud before. It really was an eye-opener.
• Tom Servo is quite correct about the “I can’t pay you but I can put your name in the credits cast list.” Word is that is exactly what it was.
• Kudos to Jef Maynard for the sawn-in-half Crow. Another great creation.
• My theory on they “why” of this movie is that Coleman guessed that sport skydiving was so novel and exciting to watch, in and of itself, that it would captivate America, and they wouldn’t notice the almost total lack of a plot.
• The ditty “sex for sundries is fun” was an immediate hit among internet MSTies.
• In addition to swing choir, I had never heard of a double jock lock. Apparently none of the bullies in my junior high school had heard of it either, thank goodness!
• I like coffee. It became an immediate catchphrase.
• Callbacks: “He’ll never touch you, Terry.” (Teenage Crimewave) ”Manos!” “No Lupita!” (from Santa Claus). “Why don’t they look?” (Last Clear Chance).
• But beyond all the other internet MSTie sensations that this episode created, far and away the hugest was Petey Plane. For a few days there, it was almost all anybody could talk about in the forums.
• Tom’s dialog in segment 3 (“splash one!”) echoes videos of laser-guided missile strikes that were being shown on TV a lot at the time.
• Jimmy Bryant may have been the only moderately talented person in the entire movie. His stuff is actually kinda good!
• Mike assumes Ike didn’t know this was going on, but since this movie was made in 1963, and he hadn’t been president for years … well, maybe he still might have objected.
• Cast and crew roundup: Cinematographer Austin McKinney was production supervisor on “The Beast of Yucca Flats.” Art director Mike Harrington also worked on “The Incredibly Strange Creatures…” Score composer John Bath also worked on “Red Zone Cuba.” Choreographer Robert Banas was an actor in “Daddy-O. In front of the camera: Titus Moede was in “Incredibly Strange Creatures.” Marcia Knight, Barbara Francis, Alan Francis, Ronald Francis were all in “Beast of Yucca Flats.” Frederic Downs was in “Red Zone Cuba,” “The Hellcats” and “Terror from the Year 5000.” Tony Cardoza produced and appeared in all three Francis films, as well as “The Hellcats.” Eric Tomlin is also in “The Hellcats” and”Beast of Yucca Flats.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon.
• Fave riff from the short: “And not a killer!” Honorable mention: “I can’t get this thing back in my pants, Earl.”
• Fave riff from movie: “This is typical of young directors: too many good ideas — or, in this case, none at all.” Honorable mention: “H.R. Haldemann on drums.”
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
And here’s the column in question (the mention is in the third paragraph).
Uranus is big and gassy, isn’t it?
This is one of my fave episodes of all time, but I have to take issue with one thing… Jimmy Bryant was way more than moderately talented. He was one of the most in demand session guitarists in Nashville and CA of the time, almost right up until his death in the ’70s (I think) from, I think it was but don’t quote me on it, lung cancer… I could be way off base about the particulars, but I swear I remember reading in a Guitar Player something about him and lung cancer… I’ll have to look it up now
it makes me happy all the love for Jimmy Bryant in this thread, and I totally second any recommendation for “Stratosphere Boogie”…
.bryant was a brilliant guitarist on is own but when he teamed up with Speedy West its the equivlent to a 4 armed musician. The interplay between the two is incredible, they’re so locked in on every song it sounds like one instrument.
Also I always thought Iggy Pop-ish dancing dude sorta had a passing resemblance to Mark Arm from the band Mudhoney as well.
What more can I say? Nothing! I love this one.
I like that big sexy lady who dances with the skinny guy. I think she’s lovely. Why did Mike and the Bots tend to diss women who are hmmm, shall I say, statuesque so often? I did appreciate Crow’s sort of lustful noises over her though.
I get a laugh and always back up the DVD when that random guy shows up. Tom goes zoobidabadibadoobidada! Just a little vintage Tom Waits style scatting. I love Tom Waits!
#155,
Crow was definitely in lust for the statuesque woman. :-)
This is the most watchable of the three Coleman Francis movies, and by ‘most watchable’ I mean to say that it is watchable. I watched it again yesterday and laughed harder than I had during any previous viewing. I may have even kept track of who slept with who, someone should create a diagram to elucidate that. The Industrial Arts short is one of the classics (these tools are my friends!). Crow’s ruining of Tom’s MARS presentation is hilarious in its blatant immaturity.
#38-I can’t contain my laughter during that bit.
I still wonder just where the heck Coleman got the supporting cast for the third reel. Rubber man, giant woman, skater girl, scotty… Was there a carnival in town?
First let me just get this off my chest. The Swing Choir sketch? Blech!!! Not that I didn’t appreciate the send-up that the Brains were giving to these ensembles and the people that participate in them, I just can’t stand anything or anyone this enthusiastic, upbeat and faux-cheery. It totally gives me the creeps! As you can probably guess, I don’t watch Glee and despise Broadway musicals too. My sincerest apologies to anyone here who has actually been involved in this sort of thing, but you have know that you were most definitely hated by your fellow students when you were in high school!
Anyway, I gotta say I was pleasantly surprised by this one. After reading about the horror of Coleman Francis movies from posters on this site, I thought this experiment was going to be a tough one to get through. But, wow! This has been one of the best episodes of Season Six so far. Yeah it’s a terrible movie, but it’s so inept that it’s funny even on it’s own. Add in the non-stop riffing by Mike and The Bots and it’s a laugh riot. I won’t bother mentioning actual riffs because I’m always so late to the party here that all the good ones have already been accounted for, but there were many laugh out loud moments while watching this one.
And I thought for sure that the stinger was going to be either the back country photographer guy or the dancing Scotsman as they both seemed pretty out there even for this movie. I was surprised and a bit disappointed that it was the “I feel real free” skydiver. Anyone else feel the same way?
4 and a half stars for The Skydivers!
#158
Well, he WAS in show business, after all, even only as a bit part actor. I’d imagine you meet all kinds in that business.
Then again, maybe they were just “regular” people, friends whom he asked to appear in his movie, and they decided to really run with it. Like I said, it gave the sequence sort of a Springfield vibe.
Ach and hoot, lahd, that Scotsman was a bonny guud Groundskeeper Willie prototype! ;-)
Love’s Pit Barbecue had a good run, for a while: http://www.oldlarestaurants.com/loves/
All these years later, and I still love everything about this episode, the short, segments and all. I even love the movie itself. It has a lighthearted charm and coherence that the other two Coleman Francis films don’t have.
I’ve had the chance to watch Skydivers unriffed. I will say that I didn’t find it painful – dreary, incompetent, badly edited and bleak, but not painful. But watching it unriffed, the genius of MST becomes obvious. That ability to turn this gray little film into a superb piece of comedy is what keeps me a fan. There’s some real artistry at work in…everything. They notice background characters and situations, and comment on them in unexpected ways, like a catering van (“Catering by Love’s Pit Barbeque…Love’s Pit Barbeque, best meat you can eat…Love’s…”) or a little old lady standing behind Petey Plane (“It’s the Dark Grandma of Death!… ‘Oh, heavens,we’d better leave, Earl, I put the Black Curse of Loki on them'”). It’s amazing, what the Brains created with MST, and I will always be grateful.
There isn’t much missing from the MSTed version. For the most part, it’s a few words or lines of dialog cut here and there, a parachutist being picked up in a car, a couple of extra skydiving sequences, more people hanging out watching the jumps. In one omitted scene, there’s a close-up of a man on the ground, wearing a pith helmet and chomping on an apple as he observes the jumpers. In another, Coleman Francis’s older son tells Joe about seeing Suzy and Frankie leaving the hangar.
The biggest scene difference is when “Papa” Coleman and his family have driven out to watch the two skydivers try their stunt. After the daughter says, “Papa, they’re jumping,” the MST version cuts to the host segment with Servo strafing Crow and his car. But the movie continues with everyone staring up at the sky, then just a split second shot of the apple-chomping, pith-helmet-wearing man. Then it’s back to the daughter who says, “Papa, I’d like to do some skydiving myself!” He responds, “Never. Never,” without looking at her. She says, “Oh, cool it, Pop!” and then mutters, “These old men.”
There was also another short scene right after, this one between Harry and a nameless guy asking about the dance party and saying maybe he’ll go, after Harry tells him there’ll be lots of pretty girls there. This man is the one M&tBs call “Bill” who shows up at the party and gawks at the buxom woman, then ducks out of the shot to follow her. So not a lot missed there, but I did appreciate seeing Nameless Man in a conversation with Harry about girls. It gave it more depth to know he’d actually found one (set-up/payoff…POW! That’s how you make a movie!).
The lack of a soundtrack in the first half of Skydivers is really overwhelming and adds to the bleakness of the location and the story. It’s very stark. If Coleman Francis did it on purpose to heighten the tension, I would have been wildly impressed.
“What does scare you?” “Soda crackers, I don’t know why.”
“Mike assumes Ike didn’t know this was going on, but since this movie was made in 1963, and he hadn’t been president for years … well, maybe he still might have objected.”
I don’t know if this was said in the comments previously, but I always assumed since the camera was on the rather buxom lady dancing who resembled Tina Turner, Mike’s reference was in regard to Ike Turner, not Dwight D. Eisenhower.
What a difference a few years can make. The first time I saw The Skydivers I hated it and was bored out of my mind. Watching it again a few months ago, I loved it. Perhaps now that I’m a grandma (although, sadly, not a DarkGrandmaofDeath) everything is better.
Not much to add to what others have said. One person that seriously impressed me was the first girl at the dance party; she’s an AWESOME dancer. I mean the one in the striped top wearing a wide headband in her hair. She has the best 1960s dance moves!
So many good riffs. One of my faves, when Beth appears near the end in that hat: “Hey, her hair bloomed!”
The Skydivers fails the Bechdel Test. The only conversation between two females occurs at the very beginning, and it’s about Frankie.
Do you think Coleman Francis intended the Camera Club geek to have a Jame Gumb vibe, or was it an accident?
Regarding the riff about Hare Khrishnas coming up to the runway, I thought it was the Moonies who did the airport evangelizations.
That FAA guy does look and sound kind of like Fred Allen. Have him make some derisive cracks about Jack Benny, and no one could tell the difference.
fireballil #27: And I still have no idea what Dr. F’s dance was.
Probably a variant of the Mocking Dance.
@ #55: Yes he was mentioned in a riff, though as George Herman Ruth.
crowshmo #103: Uh, no. The “OTHER” film we girls had to watch was definitely NOT about Home Economics.
It was Molly Grows Up. :P
@ #153: According to Wikipedia, it was indeed lung cancer. Take that for what it’s worth.
Favorite riffs
“I like the smell of fresh wood chips and sawdust.”
I put them in my underwear.
I like to sneak in and lay on the table saw.
I saw my hair in the mirror and I panicked.
Hold on. Is today the day that they’re testing that bomb?
Here’s a tip. Don’t buy the Tommy Kirk Workout Video.
Can I be excused? I have to go cheat on you.
This is for the Circulating Pines, so smile.
Welcome to Itty Bitty Airlines.
Did the actors do their own skydiving?
No, the skydivers did their own acting.
Excuse me, we’re filming a James Bond movie here. Could you move, please?
Help me, Lord. I’m being sucked into the vortex of sport parachuting.
Hey, from here it looked like his chute didn’t… open.
“But what does scare you?
Soda crackers. I don’t know why.
Frolicking has never been so depressing.
Due to my education in industrial arts, I knew my wife was having an affair.
He’s like an idiot savant, minus the savant.
“What do you think I am, some kind of nut?”
No, we think you’re a hopeless Camera Club geek.
Filmed in Despairvision.
I assume Ike didn’t know this was going on.
The German Army advances north in a Cadillac.
I feel like a cheeseburger. Will you go make love to the guy at the Jack-in-the-Box?
If only she had slept with the paramedics.
Here is another episode that is also now available on a Shout! Factory reissue of Volume I
My husband once came home with a copy of the Bhagavad Gita he got from a Hare Krishna in an airport (that he talked to out of boredom about a delayed flight, or something). And for whatever it’s worth, Leisure Suit Larry II made a joke of having “KGBishnas” (KGB agents in disguise) at the airport.
Coleman Francis played “Rotund drunk” in “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls”. THAT’s good casting!
Nothing to do with “The Skydivers,” but I happened upon a very different fictional character also named “Michael Nelson” and thought some might find the details at least faintly diverting. :-)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716968/quotes
Assume gawking positions!
What’s left to say? This episode is darn near flawless, and I say that as a staunch fan of the Sci-Fi years. Even the swing choir stuff works, especially since it ends with Dr. F being properly sadistic at the end (STAY IN THE CIRCLE!)
As for the short, I first saw it on the original shorts compilation sandwiched between “A Date With Your Family” and “Chicken of Tomorrow”. You’d think it would have been overshadowed but nope. I don’t know how many times now I’ve used a public restroom and thought “Oh, the previous tenant didn’t flush!” :-P
Fave short riff:
This came outta me, whaddya make of it?
Fave movie riffs:
Ah, the femmy fat-a-lee!
This lake has ‘manufactured bass habitat’ written all over it.
“We’ll need actors! People who can read! Lines, and. Interact with others.”
“I’mNotACommunist!”
>>>155: Why did Mike and the Bots tend to diss women who are hmmm, shall I say, statuesque so often?
Because they’re products (in Tom and Crow’s case, literally) of western civilization?
>>>156: Crow was definitely in lust for the statuesque woman
“Lust” sounds so…sinful. I think the term “desire” is has fewer negative connotations. Sex: It’s not just for sleazy creeps any more (although it does in fact remain for sleazy creeps, too).
In reviews of this film, I’ve sometimes seen people “complain” about what incompetent criminals Suzy and Frankie prove to be. Search-engine “stupid criminals” and almost any resulting site will offer examples that make Suzy and Frankie look like Sumuru and Blofeld. ;-)
“What’s That Down There?”
“When He Wants It Rough”?
“Oh, No! Pleasure!”?
I vaguely remember (school was a long time ago) all the boys being called to the gym while the girls were, well, doing something else, but I don’t remember what if any ostensible purpose for gathering in the gym was offered; I think we were just told to sit there on the gym mats and be quiet until both boys and girls could return to class (Hey, ADULTS, am I right?). We certainly didn’t learn anything remotely approximating what I’m guessing the girls learned from “the other film.”
“The other film” presumably being something along the lines of “Molly Grows Up”?
#168 To paraphrase Mike from The Beast of Yucca flats: “Coleman Francis as the rotund drunk, that’s just smart casting.”
#27
I felt sorry for Crow during this episode definitely a bad day for him, and it took something away from the enjoyment of the episode for me. Maybe I’m just hypersensitive, or maybe it’s the fact that I am colossally weird (even for a MSTie), but the host segments aside from the planetarium and the swing choir sketches didn’t do much for me.
Now the riffing on the other hand was top-notch, and I believe that this may be the best(best being a relative term) of the trio of Coleman Francis films rimmed on MST.
I am not as into the riffing on the short as others, (again, I am very weird), don’t get me wrong a laughed a lot but some of the riffs annoyed me. The short wasn’t overly repulsive or grim, and I believe that industrial arts should, along with home economics be taught more in schools. Maybe the riffs struck a nerve or something. I know, I know I should just relax, but I guess its an example of Sampo’s theorem.
The riffing on the movie, on the other hand I enjoyed tremendously. The movie was lousy(to put it mildly) and rather grim, and the wretchedness of the film is nailed with hit after hit fired by Mike and the Bots. The horrendous acting, the woeful film making, and the wretched plot are all handled with aplomb.
Favorite Riffs:
From Short
“Still your Mexicans do it real cheap.” Crow
“There wasn’t that fun?” Mike
From Movie:
“He’s like an idiot savant, minus the savant.” Crow
“Excuse me, we’re making a James Bond movie. Could you move please? ” Crow
“Heck of a lot of glancing going on around here. ” Servo
“I feel like a cheeseburger. Would you make love to the guy at the Jack-in-a-Box?” Mike
Overall: 2.75/5
Coleman Francis seems to have had a real interest in marginalized elements of American society (if we mostly leave aside The Beast of Yucca Flats, which is primarily a straightforward monster movie). I think that’s interesting and admirable. I’m not sure what point he was trying to make about the marginalized, however. Did he give interviews about his film work prior to his death? I haven’t found any. I feel like I know very little about Francis, the failed artist, compared to other failed directors whose work was lampooned on MST (Ed Wood et al.).
Francis died in 1973. His last film appearance, I believe, was a bit role in Russ Meyer’s wonderfully weird Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (in typical Meyer machine-gun-quick editing, you can blink and miss Francis in that movie).
Red Zone Cuba was the one I couldn’t stand on my initial viewings. Then one day, blam! I suddenly understood it all, and everything became crystal clear.
Therein lies the true greatness of Coleman Francis. You may not fully get it the first few times you take it in. Ironic viewing takes an altogether unexpected and bizarre turn here. His work goes from being so bad it’s good, to back being bad again, then back to being good. It’s a complicated equation, made all the more wonderful, real and true by the fact that Coleman didn’t intend any of it. You can tell the movies he was trying to make, but the movies he actually made are so much more interesting. The Cinematic Poet Of Parking. What comes close to having the personality, bleakness and feel of a Coleman Francis movie? Nothing. They are each one-of-a-kind. We say the best cheesy movies to riff on are the earnest ones. You can’t get much more earnest, while still being rock-bottom production value, than this. Even Ed Wood feels slick by comparison. The only example I can think of off the top of my head is Manos. And that’s the desperation. You can feel it coming off of the film; it’s embedded in the celluloid. And that’s real art. Love it or hate it, very few are middle of the road about how they feel about it.
Just think about had he pulled off what he was going for with his three movies. They’d be just another Cuba adventure movie, a run of the mill atomic creature flick, and a tense drama about skydivers. Hey, that last one sounds unique no matter how you slice it. Maybe not the best idea for a movie, but certainly unique.
And where would us MSTies be without Petey Plane, Cherokee Jack, Coleman Francis Mountain and Flag On The Moon?
On top of all of this, the fact that Coleman ran in the same circles as Ed Wood and Ray Dennis Steckler is mind boggling. If they could have all teamed up with Robert Lippert to make a Gamera flick with Rowsdower in it…
MSTie daydreaming there for a minute…
Someday, someone will make an “Ed Wood”-type biopic about Coleman. And Tor is the through line. Yeah, that’s it, get George “The Animal” Steele to reprise his role as Tor, shoot it in B&W, and make it about the making of “The Beast of Yucca Flats”!
To quote Jack Perkins, we salute you, Coleman Francis! And thank you Frank Conniff, for pulling the trilogy out of the box of VHS tapes.
#158, Hollywood’s lights attracted them from around the country.Coleman’s dim porch light was enough to draw them in.
I’m not sure how relevant/interesting it is, but here’s the order in which Coleman Francis made his films:
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
The Skydivers (1963)
Red Zone Cuba (1966)
So, per what seems to be general consensus, he actually got WORSE over time; perhaps he got drunker over time, too. The fact that he started with a SF film means he *might* have realized that some SF fans will never allow *any* SF film to be completely forgotten…but I doubt it.
What really bothers me, and I’m not going to bother saying no offense, because everyone is going to take offense, is when the BBI crew all went and started doing these alternative comedy acts, one man shows, just really awful coffee house things. Except for Joels acts, alot of their stuff is really awkward to watch, especially their standup, good lord. And Frank’s stuffed animal thing was embarrassing. I could go on but I’ll stop out of love for the show and respect for them. But gawwwddddd.