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Weekend Discussion Thread: Gay Riffs

We did “Cave Dwellers” in the episode guide, and somebody in the comments said that one time he watched it he counted 30 gay jokes, and another person said it may have had the most blatant gay subtext of any MSTed movie.

That reminded me of a suggestion I got a few weeks ago from alert reader Christian:

It might be interesting to discuss gay riffs.

As an example, in “Hired! Part II”, the dude says, “I remember one of the first things that Harry drilled into me…” and Crow riffs, “was Harry”.

Or, many times when a male character says something to another male character that can be misconstrued as homoerotic, the riff will be a provocative sounding, “Say!”

As an example of that, I always crack up at the pasty old Mole Men leering at the newcomers and Crow murmuring “Say…hmmm…”

What’s your pick?

One more thing: I expect a spirit of tolerance in this thread. The attitude BBI has is that gay sex — like ALL sex — is hilarious. Which is certainly true. That’s pretty much the tone I expect here. Irreverence is fine, intolerance is not. If you disapprove of gayness, you have a right to your opinion, but please keep it to yourself. We’re not discussing gayness, we’re discussing the jokes BBI has made over the years about it. Thank you.

199 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Gay Riffs”

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  1. Canucklehead says:

    Skydivers – “Hey, does this feel funny to you?”

       0 likes

  2. Miqel.com says:

    Auntie McFrank’s Bed & Breakfast segment –

    Kevin as guest: “Now Clay, you & Auntie McFrank … do you, are you ..uh”
    Dr. Forrester (Very awkwardly) “Partners .. yes, we’re … uh”

    (or something like that)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwiI5kNNy-0

       1 likes

  3. BruceShack says:

    “All the jerking around must have caused a flame-out.”

       2 likes

  4. MikeK says:

    Boggy Creek II has one at the expense of Tim.

    When Dr. Lockhart and Tim and in the trailer, waiting for the girls and watching for the creature, Tim looks back his bed and Servo says, “He stopped Troy.”

       2 likes

  5. Brandon says:

    I just watched “Hercules Unchained” for the first time, and there was this exchange toweards the end. The old guy remarks, “Teenagers today, all they think about is women.”

    Crow in a whiny sounding voice exclaims, “Not me, sir!”

    There’s also this bit from Godzilla Vs. Megalon, where Tom and Crow dub Godzilla and Jet:
    “Hey, Godzilla, I noticed your tail got longer.”
    “That’s not my tail.”

       1 likes

  6. Sharktopus says:

    Oops, mine was mentioned already in the fourth post. I should really skim more thoroughly.

    There must’ve been a Tom of Finland riff or two, but I can’t think of any. Maybe in Rifftrax.

    Admittedly off-topic: I lent my remastered LotR Rifftrax DVDs to my buddy’s parents, knowing they’re obsessed with Tolkien and always seemed to enjoy it when we’d watch MST at their place. They like them but his mom found “that faggy guy in the second two movies really annoying.” (Her word, not mine.) “Um, Gollum?” I asked, but no, apparently she meant Bill Corbett. I know Bill’s married (to a lady), but does anyone else get that vibe from him? Or is my friend’s mom just crazy? Maybe it’s all the theater…

       1 likes

  7. Trilaan says:

    Any and all relevant riffs from Mr. B Natural. Though, frankly, I’m surprised there weren’t any worthwhile transgender-related zingers. Those would have made much more sense.

       1 likes

  8. Markedman says:

    There is a moment in “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” where there is a Nazi with a cigarette with a long cigarette holder in the back ground eying Raul Julia and Crow goes: “Are you buying or sailing, sailor?”

    This seemed to be used in the same context in Werewolf with the Biker in the happening club watching the girl rack up the balls and he says “Girlfriend?”

    Then, I remember the odd posing of the skeleton in “Squirm” where Tom goes “Well let me tell you”

       1 likes

  9. bigdaddy320 says:

    One of my favorites that leaves me laughing everytime is from “Godzilla vs. Megalon”.

    “You caught us during our prodution of La Cage Aux Folles.”

       1 likes

  10. Magicvoice says:

    I liked when Danny laid very close to Big Stupid on the train even though the car was huge and had plenty of room to spare. Can’t remember the exact riff, though.
    Also “The longtime companion Olympics” from PTCH.

       1 likes

  11. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    IMHO Bill Corbett bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Humphries from Are You Being Served? Maybe that’s it.

       2 likes

  12. MSTfan says:

    Gay people are gross. Don’t understand it. But I enjoy the riffs made at their expense.

       0 likes

  13. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank- Fingle walks into the bar and and a Nazi says( with the help of Crow) “Are you buying or selling, sailor?

       1 likes

  14. Ralph C. says:

    #112: Unless that was sarcasm or badly-worded irreverence on your part, which is hard to interpret with reading the written word, may I remind you of this statement from the caretakers of this site:

    One more thing: I expect a spirit of tolerance in this thread. The attitude BBI has is that gay sex — like ALL sex — is hilarious. Which is certainly true. That’s pretty much the tone I expect here. Irreverence is fine, intolerance is not. If you disapprove of gayness, you have a right to your opinion, but please keep it to yourself. We’re not discussing gayness, we’re discussing the jokes BBI has made over the years about it. Thank you.

    Your comment, “Gay people are gross. Don’t understand it. But I enjoy the riffs made at their expense.”, seems to go against their above-referenced statement.

    That’s just not cool, man.

       18 likes

  15. Jane Dobson says:

    In “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank,” there’s a part where some sailors walk into The Place, and Servo says, “Ah, yes, Mr. Geffen is expecting you.”

    Also, I think this one’s from “Diabolik”: In response to someone being told to act sophisticated, Crow(?) says, “Sophisticated, not gay!”

       1 likes

  16. Slartibartfast, Maker of Fjords says:

    Since others have opened the host segment line, my favorite comment comes from the “Hockey Hair” sequence in Final Sacrifice when Mike is discussing his “Grizzled Old Prospector” syndrome. One of the bots says, “Have you been kissing any old, prospectors, lately”. Mike, “Nope, no… There was that surly truckdriver, no.. darn fine kisser, though.” So, whenever we see a heavily bearded man on TV or in a movie, one of us is bound to say, “Darn fine kisser, though,”

       2 likes

  17. Dr. Batch says:

    I just remembered this one from Quest of the Delta Knights. When the princess girl is trying to proposition the young hero, Crow says, “Look, I’m probably gay!”.

       1 likes

  18. “I’m g-a-y, get it?” (I don’t recall the ep)

       1 likes

  19. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    “We’re in the middle of a K.D. Lang fantasy!” — The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman

    in contrast

    “This’d turn K.D. Lang hetero!” — Racket Girls

       1 likes

  20. Jacob says:

    Ralph C. (#114)–your admonition is spot on; I’m glad to be unable to fathom some people’s ignorance.

       5 likes

  21. MarcusVermilion says:

    This may or may not count: From “Jack Frost”: Ivan,”I’ve never sat on a shovel before”. Mike, “The flat part”.

       2 likes

  22. Leo Artunian says:

    #91 – Piratejoe
    The line “hubba hubba … what a suit!” is a quote from Firesign Theatre’s album “Don’t Cursh That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers,” said by a TV host to film-maker George Tirebiter: “Hubba hubba George, what a suit!” There’s no gay subtext there. The Brains, and especially Joel, were/are big Firesign Theatre fans, and some of us old guys can spot references pretty regularly.

       0 likes

  23. mstiebrowncoat says:

    Hey! Thanks to #30 Mike in Portland and #58 Flying Saucers over Oz for your views. I always wondered. My gay friend(wait, should that be capitalized? I noticed one of y’all capitalized)thought the show was ok, but never really got into it, so I couldn’t ask his opinion on the jokes. I’m glad it’s positive so far.

    As for riffs, they’ve already been covered as far as I can see for me, my favorite one offhand being “That cape looks FABULOUSSS!”

       2 likes

  24. Chief?McCloud! says:

    Catalina Caper: Charlie’s appearance swipes two girls dancing on the boat deck, the two guys shrug their shoulders and dance with each other.

    Crow replies: “well, when in Rome….or Athens.”

    Kills me everytime [figuratively].

    Tolerance only works if it is applied BOTH ways….that means suffering ALL.

       1 likes

  25. There are several riffs over the series referring to characters being “light in the loafers”, the one springing to mind being in Warrior of the Lost World when an angelic sort of character starts to float away while magically healing our “hero”. “Light in the loafers” seems to imply (male) gayness, though fans of Fred Astair might take exception to that.

       1 likes

  26. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    IIRC the term “light in the loafers” is used to refer to a character’s alleged homosexuality in the film “Good Morning, Vietnam,” set in the 1960s, so it’s probably an older phrase whose use has faded.

       1 likes

  27. Pete says:

    SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL:

    Hilarious example of how MST3K could make a great joke out of nothing –

    Totally anonymous extra enters the terminal while TB says :”Well, hello! I’m just going to sashay across the airport. I’ll be back. Bye!”

    Also, a few minutes earlier:
    Tab Hunter watches David Hartman kiss his wife in that cool Corvette while MN says “He never kisses me like that!”

       1 likes

  28. Canucklehead says:

    #118, It’s from Girl in Gold Boots.

       1 likes

  29. #128 Heheh. Oh yeah. That’s a funny episode that I hardly ever watch.

       1 likes

  30. Canucklehead says:

    #129 I watch it every chance I get. “I’m having Critter’s varmint!” (While not apropos to this thread’s topic, I can’t help myself from quoting that line. It’s just so funny!)

       2 likes

  31. The Right Oily Drifter says:

    “Hey look, a lesbian. OF THE FUTURE!!!”

       3 likes

  32. Matt D. says:

    “So, in the future kids become gay agents?”

       1 likes

  33. Stacia says:

    I did sense a little bit of homophobia on occasion in the show, though. The loud objections whenever any male skin is displayed come across to me as “I’d better act repulsed or else people will think I’m gay.” That’s a small thing, though, and I don’t think there’s any mean-spiritedness about it.

    I have to agree, which is why I think the disclaimer that BBI was completely 100% tolerant is a little disingenuous. It’s nothing worth starting a fight over, personally, it’s just that I have seen several discussions over the years with people making decent cases for accidental homophobia in a few riffs.

       0 likes

  34. Essa's Music says:

    It Lives By Night –

    Crow, as the withered old hobo talking to Dr. John Beck: “Well, no sense puttin’ off the lovin’.” Mike’s chuckle of disgust is just as funny.

       1 likes

  35. Really old teenager from OuterSpace says:

    How about Viking Women vs. The Sea Serpent, everytime Otar/Todd is on they make riffs referring to him as the most sensitive viking or some other gay ref…. and don’t forget, but I’m a grimwald warrior.
    Also liked in Teenagers from Outerspace when Thor is on the table and the old doctor is working on him and he kind of thrusts up and Crow (I think) says “Oh, he likes that.”

       1 likes

  36. Steelhawk says:

    From Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: “So, aging lesbian nuns run the future?” Cracks me up everytime.

       0 likes

  37. thecorman says:

    #133 Not to be argumentative, but in my humble opinion, the term homophobic really is horribly abused in our culture. To take the natural “yuck” reaction that most straight males have to other male bodies (and/or their own) and label it homophobic just seems like a case of taking what really is perfectly normal human behavior and artificially attaching a fear of homosexuality to it. As a straight male, I can truthfully say that to us, the male human body is one of nature’s more disgusting creations and is normally something we go out of our way not to look at in its uncovered form.
    It really would be nice to see that term saved for behaviors that truly do indicate a phobic reaction to homosexuality and not just a guy naturally not wanting to see another guy’s “stuff”

       11 likes

  38. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    I guess the only riff that kind of sticks with me as kind of insensitive, but probably more lazy than anything, is not,admittedly from MST3k, but from the Film Crew’s Hollywood After Dark, when the actor arrives at the junk yard and recites some Shakespeare or some such, and I believe Kevin’s riff is “Hello, my gay friend.” It makes me cringe every time. Like I said, it seems sort of mean-spirited and bigoted to me, but probably is just lazy writing.

       0 likes

  39. Sharktopus says:

    This seems apropos to the conversation: http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences2/6.png

    The Oatmeal is heartily recommended by the Sharktopus: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/minor_differences2

       0 likes

  40. RockyJones says:

    Speaking as yet another poster who “plays for the other team”, I’d have to say that I have never heard a single “gay” riff or referrence on the show that I considered to be offensive or homophobic. They’re mostly just hilarious. A lot of the better ones appear in Horror of Party Beach, and of course, the lines from Riding with Death are absolute classics…

    “I am SO Twyla Tharp!”
    “Hold on, while I toss a gay man at you!”….”I’m Batch Man!”
    “You have defeated me sir. You and your noble band of choreographers.”
    “My well-greased chassis is comin’ up on your backside.”
    “My rigid grill structure is bearin’ down on your unprotected cargo door.”
    “My oft-complimented Peterbilt is rhythmically nudging that sweet honey pot……..CROW!!!

       4 likes

  41. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    In the Rifftrax of Little Shop of Horrors (both solo and group), Mike says that instead of “Dragnet,” the strangely stoic cops are “F__net” (rhymes with Dragnet). This seemed, even by riffing standards, so out of nowhere, using a “word for gay” that AFAIK is generally considered a very mean-spirited one, that I found it a bit disturbing. In the group effort, Kevin and Bill chastise him over it.

       0 likes

  42. From Ring of Terror, looking down pants is involved:

    Tiny: Well, I almost made it to 36 inches.
    Crow: Good, now about your waist.

       1 likes

  43. Charles says:

    I’m amazed this has made it without comment thus far:

    Final Sacrifice: Troy wakes up and they comment on how his voice changed.

    Also:

    Werewolf: Yuri helps the security guard up after he passed out; Yuri “You all right?” Crow: “Well, my underpants are on backwards.”

    I also can’t remember the exact riff, but there certainly was one during the alley fight in Girl in Lover’s Lane where Danny was wrestling his opponent in such a way as it looked as if they were engaged in anal sex.

       1 likes

  44. Gary Bowden says:

    In the movie Werewolf as Noel gets onto Yuri for harassing Natalie at the party,Crow says,”You’re married to me!” Of course Winki’s “gay nightlife”…So many to choose from and most of them I can’t remember! :-((

       2 likes

  45. Charles says:

    #133,137, etc: I’d be more inclined to see the point if I could think of another example beyond Horror At Party Beach, which, to me, seemed less like a repulsion of the male form and more like a rejection of the clumsy way the filmmakers were shoehorning in “a little something for the ladies”. The guy’s pelvis swiveling really was off-putting, similar to their reaction to Gloria Henderson in The Sinister Urge. It wasn’t sexy in the least, and I can safely say that without implicating my sexual orientation or security thereof.

    Most of these, though, are merely commentaries on the awkwardness or poorly realized nature of the movies themselves. The filmmakers weren’t intending for there to be a gay subtext, but in their weakness or incompetence, they inadvertently provided some. For example, poorly realized chivalry on the part of the protagonist that instead makes him look not interested in women, or two guys living together and having oddly written and thus suggestive conversations, and a whole host of other examples. (I’m trying to avoid mentioning examples from The Girl in Lovers Lane, since I’m not sure that subtext was unintentional)

       3 likes

  46. WinterWarlock says:

    Yeah, the homophobic stuff about “Put it on!” or “OH! My eyes” when a guy takes off his shirt or say is in the underwear gets a bit much. Especially when us gay guys have to endure the “OMG, take it off” comments with the women. Meh.

    But, as a fellow gay contributor…

    There are so many between Rowsdower and Troy I wouldn’t know where to begin there…

    But MST3K the movie: “There goes a stupid stupid man. *sniffle* I’m gonna curl up in his sock drawer, and sleep for days” <== I always loved that line :-D

       1 likes

  47. H says:

    How can nobody have mentioned the guy from Pod People? And then Frank plays him in the sketch later.

       3 likes

  48. billybkool says:

    Wow, I may have missed it but I’ve seen no mention of the wildly homoerotic airborne clowns in Here Comes the Circus from #422, Sampo’s fave ! That act on the trapeze is a sidesplittin’, rib ticklin’, toe tapper fer sure !

       2 likes

  49. AgentMom says:

    Hercules Unchained, when Iole says, “I would love to see if any man could put him in chains.”

    To which Joel and the Bots pretend to be other men standing around, nervously clearing their throats as if they already have.

       0 likes

  50. MikeK says:

    About the repulsion towards male skin being shown, do you gay guys check out every man you see? Aren’t there times when you are like, “Ugh, I don’t want to see that.” I certainly don’t care to look at ugly women.

       1 likes

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