My inclusion is “Kitten With a Whip.”
I’m sure I’ve personally mentioned it a few times over the years but my reason for not being able to sit through it is the utter stupidity of Forsythe’s character is just painful and as it is the lynchpin of the movie, makes it unwatchable. And by that I mean the fact that the moment he saw Jody on TV he should have been running to the cops. He did absolutely nothing wrong other than getting conned and had absolutely no reason to become panicked and keep the story to himself. I try to watch it every so often but always lose it when I get to the point where he goes back to his house to find Jody there and even as it becomes clear that she’s a complete bag of crazy, he still refuses to call the cops.
So, Luke has a problem with an infuriating plot. But that’s just be one reason you might not be able to sit through an episode. Me, I’m going to go with 209- THE HELLCATS. Bad visuals, bad audio and the story meanders around and ends up nowhere, and the segments are retreads. About 20 minutes in I’m lookin’ at my watch and wandering if the dishes need washing.
What’s your pick? (Oh, and I’m sure that Sampo’s Theorem will be on full display here.)
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Rock climbing. Oh, dear God, rock climbing!
Wow, okay. Sampo’s Theorem will be in full effect here. For the record, I LOVE The Girl in Lovers’ Lane, which I noticed already got a couple votes. Love the Colman Francis trilogy too. And Squirm is pretty decent in my eyes as well. . .
Anyway, ones that I can’t stands are: The Castle of Fu Manchu (only watched it once, got real bored, especially since it’s stuffed between Master Ninja I and II), any of the Gamera movies, that damn Time of the Apes movie, Radar Secret Service is the grayest movie ever made, Wild World of Batwoman is a mess, The Screaming Skull goes to nowheres-ville, and Mighty -freaking- Jack can just die.
Of course, all these “worst” episodes of MST3k are miles and miles ahead of most things that are on TV nowadays (i.e.: Family Guy, Two and a Half Men, Glee, anything “reality” based, the current incarnation of SNL, and any single show involving cops, doctors, and/or lawyers) and they really make me pine for the early days of cable, when the channels actually tried and thrived with creative programming and whatnot. It’s sad that now there is no comedy on Comedy Central (save for Jon Stewart), no actual history on the History Channel, no music videos at all on the MTV, and every other channel has a cake show or a ghost show, or a show where ghosts eat cake. Cable sucks.
I WANT MY MST!
!
I don’t know why this is, but I always fall asleep during Phantom Planet. It’s a shame, too, because it’s not a bad episode (and I always miss a skit I love, the “Castle Forrester is haunted but it’s actually Bobo yawning” one).
One of the episodes we own on DVD has a section from “The Phantom Creeps,” but we could barely see what was going on in that part because the film was very, very dark. I don’t know if this was a problem with our TV or a problem with our copy. At any rate, it’s hard to understand riffs when you can’t even see their target!
“Hobgoblins” is one of my favorite episodes, but I rarely watch the Club Scum parts. The riffing is great there, but the movie just becomes…too much.
I’ll agree with Sampo’s theory totally: a lot of episodes mentioned as “worst of all time” I find oddly charming. In some cases, if the riffing is just not up to snuff, I’ll often marvel at how bad the movie is. I’m a sucker for bad movies, earnest badness, and can sit through a lot of stilted dialouge, rubber monsters, and incomprehensible scripts. I’m usually marveling at the fact that SOMEONE, SOMEHOW was convinced that creating this piece of cheese would make them MONEY, and that they convinced OTHERS that it would be worth their while to be a part of it. And, in some cases, these folks wind up building actual CAREERS (one could debate if they were successful careers, but hey, if you’re making money on a given profession and you keep doing it, wouldn’t you say that IS a career?) on these hodge podges of cinema obscurity; Ed Wood, Coleman Francis, Ray Dennis Steckler, Larry Buchanan, Roger Corman, Sam Arkoff, Greydon Clark, to just name a few of the MST Alumni.
Also, I love the attitude that so many of these films invoke, the “let’s grab some costumes and put on a show! OR at least a low enough budget affair that will fill the bottom bill of a double feature at the drive-in!” In some cases, there is a quality so earnest that it’s almost painful. Look at the kids who made “Time Chasers,” from all accounts they actually felt they had made something GREAT, when it was really a poor man’s knock off of something that had been done well and right the first time several YEARS ago, ie. “Back to the Future.” They actually didn’t think that MST would tear them a new one when they offered their film to be riffed, and when it was, it sounds like they were speechless.
However, there are some episodes that I just can’t sit through. I’ve tried, but either my mind wanders to something less appealing or I just turn it off in frustration:
-Most of Season 1. I’m sorry, but I guess I’m a person who doesn’t want hamburger when he can have steak. I know folks were still trying to find their voice and get strong enough legs under themselves in this season, but I also can’t watch early episodes of other favorite shows, (The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park) for the same reason. They’re just cringe worthy now vs. at the time I first saw them when I didn’t think twice about what I was seeing because I didn’t have something better and far more polished to compare them with. Also, Josh is a hard pill for me to swallow. I think he’s hilarious in Cinematic Titanic and has come a long way since he was first on MST, but I can’t STAND his Larry and his Servo just doesn’t sit right. Perhaps the reason Josh’s Servo seems so bland and boringly barritone is how entertaining and well rounded Kevin’s version of the same character is in later episodes. Early episodes with Kevin as Tom also don’t sit right for the same reason; he’s spending too much time trying to emulate what Josh did instead of turning Servo into his own character, which he eventually did. Maybe I’m being unfair and not giving Josh’s early performances the benefit of the doubt, since he only had one season and all of KTMA to develop what he was doing, but it’s hard for me to settle.
-Final Sacrifice. This is a hard one, and I only watch it every so often, but not on a regular basis like other episodes. So many of the riffs are just recycling the same jokes again and again, and it really shows how thin the writers were getting for material and inspiration for the later Sci-Fi movies. Also, the writing staff wasn’t as big as it had been, and it seems that when the show was running full steam with a large group of writers, they were at their best with riffing. The movie itself is what it is, a student film with a little bit more money behind it to hire enough actors and crew. The script doesn’t quite make sense, there just isn’t enough action to make it an entertaining action film, and that kid as the main character is just so annoying I wanna slap’m.
I’ve never seen “Fu Manchu” or any of the early KMTA episodes, so I can’t be a judge of them.
Marc
#102 Good point. A bad m.s.t.3k is better than anything on T.V. Sort of like my friend Andy said to me this summer – A bad day at the beach or fishing is still better than a good day at work. TONIGHT THE GHOSTS DECIDE DEVILS FOOD OR ANGELS FOOD CAKE ON CROSSING OVER WITH THE CAKE BOSS. FOLLOWED BY THE DENNY’S WAITRESS YOU CANT UNDERSTAND-THE TOAST WHISPERER. “What kind of toast would you like with that sir?” ( white, wheat, rye, marble rye, raisin, cinnamon swirl ) ” I cant hear you could you repeat that please.”
Be back with my list of movies I just cant sit through……
Castle of Fu Manchu
First Spaceship on Venus
Mine would have to be “Cave Dwellers”. Something about it makes me wish I was watching another episode.
My personal kryptonite is ALIEN FROM L.A. I know Kathy Ireland is hot but 1/2 way thru I want to put a icepick thru my ears to make that voice stop!!! That “Aussie” wasn’t all that either. Theres others like A Million Eyes of Sumuru that could be ok but the print is so bad it hurts your eyes. Sampo has again been proven right. I like Hamlet…Is there a word in the english language this guy hasn’t said!! Plus it’s THE BARD. It’s kinda like stickin it to man!!
@ #102, Watch-out-for-Snakes:
I would totally watch a show where ghosts eat cake. :D
@104, mechagamera:
I get what you’re saying, but Futurama has some very strong early episodes compared to many other long(ish)-running comedies. (Billy West’s original Professor voice sure sounds weird, though.)
I agree on Final Sacrifice, by the way. I enjoy it well enough, but I don’t see why it qualifies for classic status as some would have us believe. It doesn’t really pick up for me until Pipper shows up – that guy’s like a gold egg-laying goose served up on a platter for the Brains – and then he’s gopne all too soon. Canada bashing is fun, but it wears thin.
Three words; Red Zone Cuba. It’s incomprehensible, and all I can come up with as a plot summary is some sort of rubbish-pile version of the Three Stooges (which I dislike also). I’ve seen it once, and the only two things I can ever remember about it are John Carradine’s singing, and psycho-Curly hugging little bunny foo-foo.
All of the Japanese movies tend to grate on me as well, but none of them come anywhere *near* RZC (although Mighty Jack comes quite close).
I wish he would’ve killed him with that forklift.
I would have to say that some of the first season episodes like THE CORPSE VANISHES and THE CRAWLING HAND were very hard to get though. Episode 901-THE PROJECTED MAN was a slog to get though, even after they fixed the audio.
Castle of Fu Manchu, no doubt. It took me about a week to get through it, watching a segment a day. The Gamera movies a close second.
Castle of Fu Manchu – tried at least 10 times over the years, have never made it.
Hamlet – bleak, slow, dull. Plus it’s hard to hear, what with the sound of the Bard spinning in his grave muffling everything.
I’ve never not finished an episode, but Santa Claus is just awful. The main thing I remember is that I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
To me, the makings of a rough episode to get through are that there is not much happening in the movie, or you can’t follow what is happening. I think there needs to be some level of interest in what’s going on in the movie, regardless of how bad it is, to make it bearable.
I’ve yet to see Castle Of Fu Manchu myself, but with all this sentiment against it, I feel like I should check it out. (Sort of in the spirit of “Oh dude, you have GOT to smell this! It’s disgusting!” ) While the 10-minute chunks found on Youtube are usually a detriment to the viewing experience, they may actually help this one go down smoother. Like drinking Jagermeister ice cold. Hmm, there’s a thought…
By the way, I find myself very rarely sitting through ANY MST episodes all the way, even my favorites, unless it’s one I’ve never seen before. I usually end up puttering around the apartment or checking the interweb with the show providing a pleasant background. Doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying the show, it just means I can’t sit still for 90 minutes. ;)
I can sit through any of the network episodes…zzzzzzzzz
I watch the episodes in order, one a night during the work week, so it takes about a year to go through the MSKs and the subsequent knock offs. Some, obviously, are better than others. But, taken in order, you get the full flavor of how the show evolves and can appreciate the better episodes even more.
With that said, I cannot fathom how much hatred is meted to Devil Doll, but with no mention (115 posts) of She Creature. Both are the same genre, but She Creature is slower and the acting is bad, with the exception of Lance Fuller who doesn’t act at all.
Another snoozer not mentioned is Escape 2000. (Actually, my wife dislikes this more than I, but it is a bad movie)
But for all of us who complain, I can add only one thing.
What do you expect from us. We’re Evil, EEEEEVIL
Opinions definatly differ because i’ve seen atleast 4 episodes on this list that are in my top 20 and I know I’m not the only one.
Opinions definatly differ because i’ve seen atleast 4 episodes on this list that are in my top 20 and I know I’m not the only one.
There’s a few I’ve only seen once and am actively avoiding rewatching (Night of the Blood Beast and Deadly Mantis, for two), but for ones I’ve given multiple chances…my vote goes to Gorgo. Manos, Fu Manchu, and the Coleman Francis troika are no picnic for me either, but Gorgo is all the tedious elements of giant monster movies minus the camp and funny cultural dissonance of Gamera/Godzilla flicks. Just a slog. Jet Jaguar would’ve spiced up Gorgo a hundredfold.
Runner-up goes to Blood Waters of Dr. Z, for reasons #83 already nailed.
Hamlet’s one of my favorites, though. Go figure.
‘Wild Rebels’. Everyone in it is so foul and stupid. From the bikers who just kill and maim for kicks, to the police who just sit around and let them.
Sampo’s Theorem in full effect: Kitten with a Whip has become this thread’s “whipping boy”, but I love it and think they did a great job with it. I can see how people would hate the characters and their actions in it though. The crew recognize how obnoxious the movie is and really lay into it so that makes it good enough for me.
I usually only watch MST these days when I’m doing other things or winding down from the day (and half asleep) so maybe I should have been more alert when I watched it, but Black Scorpion took about 4 or 5 nights to watch. I just kept falling asleep on it.
Thank you Sampo, for clarifying your theorem. As I read these responses, if a riff from the despised movie comes to mind the moment I read the film title, then I give it a pass. However, Hobgoblins does not have that generative effect. It stinks, and even the riffing offers no redemption. Is that anyone’s favorite?
Also, there are only a small number of episodes that I have not seen. Hellcats is one of those. The polarized reviews place that movie at the top of my must see films.
I enjoy Kitten with a whip, if not just to check out Ann Margaret’s Jody. As for Wild Rebels- well, the line THAT SQUARE BUGS ME and the Wild Rebels cereal and the cheesy 60’s music makes it alright with me. I like it for the kicks.
Starfighters, Hamlet, and all of season 1. Starfighters has one laugh: refueling. Other than that, it’s a brutal two hours.
#122: Hobgoblins is a real favorite of mine, to the point that I’ve had lengthy (and friendly) email exchanges with Rick Sloane. Campy ’80s trash just holds a special place in my heart, plus the guys go to town on it brilliantly, IMHO. Sampo’s Theorem in full effect.
It’s definitely Castle of Fu Manchu.
Kitten with a Whip is a lot of fun, as are The Girl in Lovers Lane (actually a pretty good movie) and many of the others mentioned.
The Coleman Francis movies are poison, but Fu is the absolute worst, and hardest to sit through. The final host segment illustrates that.
#122 Yes, back when the show was on the air I used to rank “Hobgoblins” as my 3rd favorite episode. I’ve never rewatched it or any of the other Sci-Fi episodes I saw back then, and I’ve seen a lot of Comedy Central episodes now, so it might not still stand so high on my list.
I do have to say the funniest Mike episode I’ve seen since I got back into the show last year is “The Creeping Terror,” and somebody near the start of the thread mentioned that as a hard episode to get through. I think it’s one of the precious few episodes that gets funnier in the second half rather than running down.
Sampo you are absolutely correct with “For every MSTie who believes that a given episode is the worst thing they’ve ever done, there is another who considers it their finest hour.”
I LOVED Final Sacrifice, #29 and #109 hated it. Conversely most people if not all hate Castle of Fu-Manchu and I kind of liked it. Also nobody seems to have gotten back to me about if they hated Escape 2000.
#128, I HATE Escape 2000. I generally loathe most of season 7, but that one takes the cake. I never got why the whole Toblerone thing was funny, and it’s a grimy, boring film that the Brains can do precious little with. It really seemed to me that MST3K: The Movie drained their creative energies at the time, waiting until season 8 to come roaring back with quite a few classic episodes.
# 128 – I love Escape 2000, and every episode of Season 7 (Bruteman and Laserblast are two of my all time favorites) The Tobelrone stuff always gets a laugh from me, as does the Vampire woman jokes. That movie is so hokey it’s perfect for MST. Long live Sampo’s Theorem!
Escape 2000 gets off to a very strong start but then it bogs down. It seems like there’s nothing but endless scenes of various characters sneaking around and not enough for the writers to get much riffing out of (not enough Henry Silva, for example.) No wonder they fixated on Dablone.
Lord, I’d forgotten about The She Creature. I think my mind rejected all memories of it.
Sampo made a good choice in Hellcats. Now to me, it’s not so much the movie that’s annoying. No, it’s the fact that the host segments are basically a clip show from past episodes of MST3K. Not cool.
The guy’s name was clearly not “Toblerone”, so that was a fail but I think it’s a pretty funny episode with all of the LEAVE THE BRONX! and people getting flambeed. Oh, and I like She Creature quite a lot. It may seem like a dreary ink cloud of a movie but the riffing Dr. Carlo Lombardi is funny and AIP trash has a special place in my heart. I didn’t like Mole People back when it first aired but it’s moved way up the list over the years. Just like Revenge of the Creature was a letdown at the time but the riffing in the last third of it is really saves it. “What if he never relinquishes control of the police force?”
You know, I’ve never gotten through Kitten with a Whip but it mostly just doesn’t look that diverting and there are still episodes I haven’t seen that I have some curiosity about so I always watch them, instead.
#116, Slartibartfast, maker of Fjords:
Wow, you watch the show in sequential order? Is that how you usually watch the show? I’ve never done that, but I recently joined the episode guide discussion thread, watching the KTMA’s for the first time, and revisiting Season One for only the second time as a whole. I’ve been enjoying watching the show in order, seeing it progress. It does make you appreciate the better episodes that much more, simply because the context has all been laid out before you. When the episode guide finishes up (season 4,i think) I think I will continue watching the show in this style, one experiment a week, in sequential order. Good to know I should finish by years end.
Oh, and I totally agree with you on The She Creature. That one blows.
But I LOVE Escape 2000. Ya’ll who disagree can talk to Toblerone.
!
Castle of Fu Manchu so boring and forgettable- was that a Joel episode?
Indestuctible Man with our fave,Lon Long Eye Chaney!That rocks!
#134
I watch tem in sequential orsder, at least those on dvd. It’s not as convenient watching others on youtube (although I’m currently watching-for the first time- King Dinosaur (which is really quite sexist in condescending attitudes of the men and constant screaming by one of the two women ‘scientists”).
There goes that accidental smiley face again. It was supposed to be just a parenthesis.
(“scientists” ) .
I think, for me, one of the worst movies I’ve seen is “Teenagers from Outer Space”. I can start to watch it, but after about half an hour, I just stop watching it. It doesn’t even work for me as being on in the background.
I agree- Sidehackers, because of the rape scene.It was gawd-awful even without that scene.As a matter of fact, I watched it once and threw it away.
I would have said Gamera vs. Zigra but the evil Zigra chick was so hot it makes it worth repeat watching.
IMO,seasons one and two just aren’t that good-haven’t watched them in years.
Hmm…
Well, I have a real problem with “Teenage Crime Wave” because I really dislike hostage dramas with the power-crazed crooks constantly baiting the terrorized captives. That sort of thing really gets to me. “Kitten with a Whip” comes close, on that score, but Ann-Margaret covers a lot of cinematic sins.
I have trouble watching “Angels’ Revenge”, mainly because it’s just too painful to see what happened to the careers of Jim Backus and Peter Lawford.
I can get through “Squirm”, “Incredible Melting Man” and “Phase IV”, but only if I watch them the same way I watch the Mr. Creosote sketch: with my eyes closed.
And I used to have this problem with “Manos”, until I watched it with an audience at ConventioCon I. Their support got me through it, and when I finally saw Joel shout out “DO SOMETHING!!!” in frustration, I knew it was worth the slog.
I forgot about Projected Man. What an absolute bore, and the whole “Lembach is staying” bit is just completely forced and well, it just makes me bored and angry just thinking about it. Grr.
No one has dared to trash the big guy himself? Godzilla?? The first episode I decided to tape and keep for a while (before I decided to tape and keep them all) was the Godzilla and Jet Jaguar one because I thought it was so fun to watch. Still love the Jet Jaguar song at the end but now I can’t even remember the correct name of that movie because the rest bugs me so much, I guess. Jet Jaguar just programmed himself to grow? And defy the laws of physics (and common sense)? Just like Godzilla himself, I guess (Lightly gliding on his tail?? Ugh). Loved Godzilla when I was young (and still love the original black and white one, with or without Raymond Burr) but man, not any more. Don’t like Gamera either, except Gamera vs. Barugon, which is kind of fun. One punk kid was saved by Gamera and now that kid thinks Gamera is wonderful even with all the destruction and killing he’s doing. Sooo stupid.
Episode 515- Wild Wild World of Batwoman.
This one was so bad that it was the only one I sent back when I use to get these from the Columbia Record Club.
I know Red Zone Cuba is horrible both on the screen and in the theater, but I can at least “watch” that one. Batwomen has nothing to redeem it. It is not even a bad movie; it is more like what you would see if you gave your drunken cousin your video camera.
I feel for Mike and the whole cast to have to watch that one at all, let alone the multiple times needed to do the show.
Castle of Fu Manchu comes in second for me. I have only watched it once, and that was more than enough.
To qualify as an “Episode I can’t sit through,” it must not only be a bad movie, but poor riffing and host segments. Many of the movies listed above were bad, but some are my favorite episodes based on how the SOL treated them (Monster a Go-Go for example).
I have a pretty big list:
Anything involving sadistic scenes (Manos, Sidehackers, the Jo Don Baker movies most notably). I don’t like those period, I like them even less in a comedy show
Ones that are just plain boring (Starfighters and Skydivers come to mind, Hamlet and that Raul Julia movie come to mind as well)
Sandy Frank movies: I can’t stand dubbed foreign films to begin with, it’s like they get children to do almost all the speaking roles (except for the men, but the women always sound like kids as well). The most obnoxious children they can find. But worse, he chops them up from TV series in some cases.
Most of Season 1: I liked Josh in much of Season 0, but he got on my nerves in Season 1.
Revenge of the Creature, because a dog gets killed in it. (I like Dogs).
I had never seen Robot vs. Aztec Mummy before the DVD came out…and I still haven’t. Just can’t get through all of it. Terrible and slow and it is season one so the riffing can’t save it.
I got through Hamlet once, and never again will I do that.
@144..I like Revenge of the Creature as far as the riffs and the movie,but one thing I can’t stand is Crow’s grating voice.I know it’s Bill’s first episode as Crow and that he was just getting the feel of the puppet and all,but the voice was a bit much.He did get a lot better after a few episodes.Guess I wasn’t used to the new personality..I like dogs,too,but it’s only a movie.At least it didn’t show the creature kill the dog..I think the end of Monster A-Go Go is the one I get bored with because it seemed like the whole movie came to a complete stop.
I can make it through Monster A-Go-Go simply because the ending – there WAS no monster – is just so jaw-droppingly funny. Run out of ideas? Hmm, let’s see…ah yes! There just wasn’t a monster anymore. BRILLIANT!!!
I love Kitten With A Whip, but I also love all of those B&W teenage genre movies MST did (Untamed Youth, Beatniks, Teenage Crimewave, Daddy-O, etc). I also adore Sidehackers, Hellcats, Wild Rebels and the Coleman Francis trilogy.
I used to have episodes I couldn’t sit through at all, and even the remaining ones that are still the most painful to me, I have recently warmed up to. Those two are Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Santa Claus. I used to loath Starfighters, but have come to love it. I’ve noticed, with me anyway, that the worse the movie is, the harder it can be to penetrate the comedy in it. Red Zone Cuba is another one like that. I hated it at first, but I watched it again, and now it’s one of my favorites.
If I had to pick, I’d say Seasons 7-10 are the ones “I can’t sit through,” but actually they’re ones I take in occasionally instead of all the time.
Going over the list again made me remember two more I skip over:
Batwoman
Brain That Wouldn’t Die
Reason: the movies themselves, hard to sit through repeatedly.
Even though my earlier comment still stands (#75), I remember some recent ones that I’ve tried watching and can’t bring myself to finish.
– The Giant Gila Monster (The monster was maybe in the movie for about 45 seconds total, the rest was laaaammmmeee….)
– The Wild World of Batwoman (I actually did finish this, but I had to watch the movie into 3-4 chunks)
– Racket Girls (the only movie I’ve ever seen that made womens’ wresting boring)
– The Space Children (boring, bland, terrible monotonous acting from the titular children)