How about risque comments/skits? For example, in “Track of the Moon Beast”: Paul G. Carlson: “I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.” Crow: “Could you at least kiss me first!”
Say!
Yes, even though the show is pretty family friendly, they do occasionally throw in a riff only the grownups will get.
One of my favorites, from the “Century 21” short, is: Singer: “You’re seeing it all…” Crow: “…at the Annie Sprinkle show…”
What’s your favorite?
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I know it’s not a riff, but I have never stricken the image of the cigarette hag from Deadly Bees asking the dirtiest question of all time: “The dog’s meat, have you seen it?”
From the DEADLY MANTIS:
At the Arctic headquarters as the scientist and his female assistant arrive she
is ogled (gaped at) by one of the soldiers —
–and the Riff is: “Gives new meaning to the term dishonorable discharge.”
From ‘Track Of The Moonbeast’
Girl: “C’mon Johnny Longbow. Lets see you live up to your name.”
Tom: “HI-OOOH! Get the kids outta the room!”
Sampo, if you are looking for ideas for weekend discussions, I have a few.
Worst band in an MST3K film. You’ve hand worst song, now we need the worst band to go with it. My choice would be Arch Hall Jrs. band that ‘swings’.
Most egregious use of filler. Be it walking scenes, rock climbing, rambling, endless dialouge, or scenes where they just forgot to turn the camera off. Any scene where the filmmakers were trying to get the movie to feature length by any means necesary.
Favorite background character(s). Someone who was just a face in the crowd, but got the Brains attention. For example: the reporters from ‘Rocketship X-M’. They got a pretty funny host segment done about them.
The bicycle seat one from Castle of Fu Manchu isn’t my favorite, but it IS very dirty and disturbing.
Jack Frost – When they are about to shove the witch into the oven: ‘I’ve never sat on a shovel before.’ Riff: Well, not the flat end, anyway.
One of the Hercules movies has a shot of a busty girl and I think Servo says ‘This movie comes with airbags.’
Can’t remember the episode, but a monster was eating people and someone said you get bad breath from eating French people. Servo says ‘Oh, that happens when you eat ANYBODY.’ *yow* can’t believe that one got through!
On one of the Rocky Jones episodes they mention Riding the rocket and Servo starts to say something but Joel stops him.
Lot’s of dirty jokes in Angel’s Revenge, which is fitting since the movie is a jiggle-fest. Crow: ‘I’m giving in and just looking at the breasts.’, and ‘Show him the wiener’
Maybe my favorite is from It Conquered the World. ‘You wash and I’ll wipe.’ Joel stops the bots from saying anything! I love that joke. Any time Joel stopped the bots, usually with ‘Let it lie’, always killed me.
crowschmo # 56 – maybe the hardest I ever laughed at MST was the Mitchel scene with the gun falling down his pants! Also, the ‘Oh wow!’ was one of my favorite lines. Can anybody remember some of those?
Here Comes The Circus had a bunch of good ones, particularly the clown style riff, but most of the shorts had good naughty riffs.
I just thought of a great one from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.” Pearl was introducing the movie and remarked that it starred Raul Julia, a very talented actor. “I wonder why he agreed to star in this piece of sh…URELY fine entertainment…” :smile:
Oh, I’d hate to shoot a butt like that!
Is this one naughty or just creepy?
It’s from Mr. B. Natural. The narrator says something about the school hallways full of young students, or something and then Joel goes, “Oh, yeeeaah.” Servo then quickly admonishes him with a sharp, “Joel!”
Come to think of it, MST was RIFE with dirty jokes!
YoohooRiffer (#86): “Then Joel makes the comment, ‘When you’re out in the woods, you can’t beat Off!’ When you watch it, it seems that Joel immediately realizes that his comment could be taken in another way.”
I think Joel knew what he was saying. That was an old joke even then. I can’t remember which episode it was in… a Sci-Fi one, I think… but they make fun of this same joke. Crow, manically laughing, deliberately takes Mike right to the edge of the familiar punchline, but then Crow delivers it in a way that the double entendre doesn’t work, and laughs as though it had.
One of my favorite naughty riffs, from “Once Upon a Honeymoon”: “What rhymes with ‘blue balls’?”
Iggy Pop’s Brother Steve Pop #111.
That was in Final Sacrifice. Crow takes the long way around the barn to get to that joke and it ends up dying. It was all deliberate of course.
“Please put your Dick Asche out in the ashtray”.
-Track of the Moonbeast, Crow
—–
“Samuel Z Weinerhead”—She Creature, Servo
—–
(I’ve got to have a look at that dummy)
“So if you could just look away” —-
Devil Doll, Mike
—–
These are just off the top of my head. I come back when I think of more.
Unless someone has already mentioned it, there’s the riff from “This Island Earth”, when Cal is getting into his decompression tube and the camera is focused on his crotch: “Recognize me now, Ruth?”
#104 got my favorite one.
Wayland Smith: Thank you Kurt, it was very nice of you to come.
Joel: Well, I didn’t mean to, but the new seat covers and all.
Servo: JOEL! NO!
I heard that one, and I was in danger of busting a gut.
Some of my unmentioned favorites…
In “Parts: The Clonus Horror” when our two favorite clones are cuddling next to the smoldering fire in the morning…
Mike: Guess I gotta go a little easier next time.
From “Hercules Unchained”, Queen Omphale looks up from pleading at Hercules’ knee…
Joel: It’s twue! It’s twue!
And when the servant girl(?) turns to rest her head against Iole’s shoulder but aims a little low…
Crow: Ow, my eye!
One of my favorites that hasn’t been mentioned yet is from the short Keeping Clean and Neat
Narrator: Never go to bed with wet hair . .
Crow: . . or a first date.
There’s one in “Ring Of Terror” when all the girls are sitting around talking about how fearless Lewis Moffett is right before the it’s getting pretty sticky in here line. His girlfriend says I saw his steel or something semi-naughty and Joel says “Did you touch it.”
In Teenagers from Outer Space “I have never piloted swim trunks before.”
I forgot my favorite one: “Penile Replacement Corporation Pictures Presents!”
It’s funny I should forget this one. I’ve been watching a lot of Mill Creek public-domain box sets, which feature quite a few PRC films, and I can’t resist saying this line every time their logo appears.
Edwin B Miller (#105): “Can’t remember the episode, but a monster was eating people and someone said you get bad breath from eating French people. Servo says ‘Oh, that happens when you eat ANYBODY.’”
I think that was from Godzilla vs. Megalon, about getting bad breath from “eating Japanese.” Frankly, the off-color interpretation of Servo’s reply never occurred to me, but I can see it.
War of the Colossal Beast
GUY: Sorry I was so long.
CROW: Braggart.
Agent For H.A.R.M.
BABYWOMAN: So are you coming, or do I swim alone?
CROW: Yes, and yes.
I don’t recall where or the exact quote but “so and so created the quiver.” “So did she!”
Hamlet: “Please stop rubbing my nipple.”
#20 I think they say “pusses”, no i.
Horror at Party Beach.
The sorority party attack. One of the women says, “It smells like dead fish,” as we see them lean forward.
Crow looks to Mike for a riff, but he says nothing, but we all know what it means.
Here’s one I think everyone missed. In ‘Ring Of Terror’, one of the girls in a dormatory scene says “Its gonna start getting pretty sticky in here.” The bots are about to respond and Joel tells them to “Let it lay you guys!”
Not MST3K, but the closest thing to it, especially with Peter Graves in it – from ‘Killers From Space’: –
{Peter Graves is walking back into the bedroom rubbing his jaw} Kevin Murphy says “Ohhh, you took forever in there! You nearly broke my jaw!”
(I actually was diagnosed with TMJ because of that once, but that’s too much information, I’m sure, so I’ll shut up now.)
Horror Of Spider Island:
Gary (the nightclub owner) is standing in the cabin doorway and one of the dancers squeezes past him, chest first, suggestively brushing against him.
Crow says “Try crossing your legs now, pal!”
Later when Gary is first transforming into … uh, whatever he transforms into (definitely NOT a spider) Servo says “Hairy palms! mother was right”
@120:
Actually 105 was right about it being French people. It was from #606 during the creeping terror’s “all you can eat buffet” of all the couples making out in their cars (the last one with the ’50 Ford that the monster turned over). I believe it followed the riff about the monster needing a breath mint. Speaking of that scene, where the monster is humping the convertible, I believe one of the boots ask Mike about it and Mike replies “you see when a monster and a car like each other very much…”
All time favorite: Dishonorable discharge from Giant Mantis. Also a fave: Usually I have to go to website to see this type of thing, like naked wrestling giantesses .com
All the “area” riffs they did after Raul Julia said, “Mom, ‘m I nuts?” Is that really such a New York-style reading that they couldn’t hear it as anything other than referring to his batch? They even made it the stinger!
The movie itself got a little blue also, when Appolonia called Raul’s syntho-flavo-sex “this one-handed exercise.”
When TV’s Frank is wearing his I’m A Virgin t-shirt and says (in his gay voice) “Good, why he’s the best.”
Werewolf:
Natalie drops off Paul at his place – doesn’t want to come up for a drink, but gets out of her car and says “Paul!… welcome to Flagstaff”. As Paul begins to kiss her, Tom says “you’re welcome to my flagstaff if you know what I mean”.
“And remember, when you touch yourself, the saints cry.”
Gunslingers – “You know…a beef roast…in the OVEN…”
I always loved the riff in Delta Knights when the princess first comes out wearing a corset. “Her dough has risen!”
I can’t remember which episode it was, but when something lewd is happening one of the bots remarks “Wow! The Mads sent us a GOOD movie!”
From ‘Here Comes the Circus’ – “Yes, our Betty swings both ways!”
And, of course, the entire refueling host segment in ‘Starfighters’. Tom’s little cough as Crow enters him (uhh) sells it.
Funny stuff….after reading all of these my mind is totally blank.
Not naughty but more of an “I can’t believe they went there” riff, from a short [posture pals perhaps??]. Girl student turns to another girl at her desk and is riffed with, “do you have any fresh stuffies?”
In Hamlet- Just after the 58 min mark (58:12) does Crow really say “Don’t get a boner”? Wow!
It’s just after the “Stop rubbing my nipples” comment. :shock:
Riding With Death. The entire truck stopping sequence with Sam and Bill.
Two faves from VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS–
1.) During the opening ‘mud orgy’ scene:
“Uggh! She’s tonguing the Universe!”
2.) Later, when the bad teens are growing huge, one of Beau Bridges’ pals looks down at the lower part of his own body:
“Oh no! I didn’t grow proportionally!”
One from GIRLS TOWN–
Mamie Van Doren walks into the school building:
“Gigantorrr…”
And, from the short, ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?:
“Never make light of the ‘Boing’, son!”
#129 reminded me of one from Catalina Caper, when Tommy Kirk is leaning against a rock waiting for Creepy Girl to change (and of course he asks her if she needs any help) and Tom says, “I guess you could say he’s stuck between a rock and a…”
Future War: “My trained wiener will finish you off!”
Man-On-The-Moon (#130): “Actually 105 was right about it being French people.”
Then they did the joke at least twice. I only just watched “Godzilla vs. Megalon” again the other day, and the Japanese version of the joke was definitely there. Of course, it would hardly be the first time they repurposed a joke.
In the Christmas shorts live show (and I assume it’s on the DVD as well)…when Santa sits on Rudolph’s bed and says “Rudolph, I need you tonight”…no riff was necessary.
Soultaker, the endless and exploitative “preparing to bathe” sequence. “She’s turning around…” “Did you just say ‘She’s turning around’?” “No, I said, ‘She’s spurning a clown!'” “I like that, too!”
Another one from “Overdrawn”…
Um, that’s poison oak on your naughty bit, ma’am.
In “Wild Wild World of Batwoman,” toward the very end the girls are dancing away in bikinis (hooray!) and we get an intense closeup of a woman shaking her bikini bottom in the most amazing manner.
Crow: “You oughta have that looked at.”
Mike: “I’LL look at it….”