Movie: (1984) A Texas sheriff winds up on the island of Malta in pursuit of the criminal that killed his partner.
First shown: June 20, 1999
Opening: Tom considers the unexplored implications of the song “Owner of a Lonely Heart”
Intro: M&tB are plagued by Yes orchestra hits; Pearl encourages humor in the workplace
Host segment 1: M&tB demonstrate to Pearl how repeating the same sequence can be annoying
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom encounter cute little Goosio. It doesn’t go well
Host segment 3: Crow’s report on Malta includes a good deal of slander on the subject of Maltese men
End: Having suffered through a really bad Joe Don Baker movie, Mike assumes it’s his turn to escape. He’s wrong, the poor dope. Meanwhile, Funny Dress-Up Day at Castle Forrester takes a horrifying turn
Stinger: “Yew think yew kin take me? Go ‘head on. It’s yer move”
(326 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)
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• I have to put this one in the fair-to-good column. Unfortunately, there’s no way to avoid a comparison between this ep and the “Mitchell,” episode and unfortunately this one doesn’t measure up to that classic. The riffing definitely has its moments, but they have trouble sustaining a constant level of funny. The movie itself is serviceable and certainly Joe Don’s character is a bit less gross than it was in “Mitchell,” but it’s also a bit less unintentionally zany. In addition, the segments are more miss than hit this time around, but the final segments save the day.
• Mike’s thoughts are here.
• This episode is included in Shout’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XIV.
• Callback: “Stop drinking baby oil!”
• The opening features more Yes bashing. My theory: The only way you could be this anti-Yes is by having BEEN a Yes fan at some point and since repented. I’m looking in Kevin’s direction.
• Last time I said I didn’t understand the riff: “Let’s talk loudly about our SUVs.” Commenters explained it to me.
• Segment 1 seems a little picky to me, like they couldn’t find anything else to comment on. The footage reuse is pretty mild compared to similar instances in other movies. All in all, I can’t get behind the premise.
• Segment 2 is a bit better, and it explains why Mike takes the time to pointedly refer to Goosio by name during the riffing–he was setting up this bit.
• Of course that’s Mike as the voice of Goosio; Patrick was doing the rather elaborate “technical puppetry.”
• Mike has the broken Goosio in the theater following the segment
• Obscure reference: Perini Scleroso (a hilarious character invented by SCTV’s Andrea Martin).
• Mike, apparently still channeling Joel after his visit, does a very Joelesque bit in the theater when he stands up and appears to be running from the car in the movie.
• Again, I find it amusing that microbrewery aficionado Mike is seen drinking Bud.
• Also in the theater, Servo twice leaps off his theater seat when somebody says “Geronimo.”
• Segment 3 goes back to the “pointlessly bash a nationality” thing they’ve had some success with in the past, but I don’t think this works as well this time. Also: Mike knows how to rewire Crow?
• Then-still-slightly current reference: “Christian Slater’s gonna fly tomorrow I better get this back to him.” For those who’ve forgotten, Slater stupidly showed up at JFK airport in December 1994 with a gun in his carry-on and was arrested.
• Yet another fun closing credits bit, as Crow and Tom come up with new gluttonous lyrics for the theme music.
• Nice moment at the end of the last theater segment as Mike leaves early and Tom has to figure a way out of the theater by himself. “What do I do??” He runs left as Cambot pulls away. Somehow he manages.
• The final bit, of course, is the best of the episode and brings the entire episode up from fair to good. A lot of nice little touches in a great parody of Joel’s farewell. One small nitpick, though: “…an escape pod SHE hid…”?? Gypsy did not hide the escape pod in the box of hamdingers. I remember immediately after this episode first aired there was a long nerdy Comic Book Guyesque discussion of this goof on most of the web forums.
• As if the ending bit on the SOL wasn’t funny enough, that bit is further topped by the appearance of Bill’s in full leatherboy regalia. Classic.
• Cast and crew roundup: Executive producer Louis George had the same job on “Angels Revenge,” as did producer/director/screenwriter Greydon Clark. In front of the camera, Joe Don Baker, of course, starred in “Mitchell.” Bill McKinney also appeared in “Master Ninja I.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Kevin.
• Fave riff: “The last thing a sausage sees.” Honorable mention: “I’m glad we skipped the cavity search.”
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#84: Gypsy throws up at the mention of Emerson, Lake and Palmer in “Earth vs. the Spider.” I just find it funny.
“Let’s talk loudly about our SUVs”
Having read Mike’s book “Mind over Matters” I remember a chapter where
he rants on yuppies who drive SUV’s and drink Starbucks coffee. This could
be an early reference to the same rant.
Actually, this one’s a favorite of mine, for one reason.
Malta.
That’s what does it for me.
We’ve seen the whole “policeman loose-cannon” schtick so many times in modern movies before, and, as lots of people have noted JDB’s character here isn’t really all that different from “Mitchell” anyway. So the film itself is basically hackneyed and trite.
But . . . Malta?
To have all of this crap happening in *Malta*, of all places, took a dumb story and drove it right over the edge into the surreal to me. As such, I would have found the film funny all on its own because of its surreality. Mike and the bots are just icing on the cake as far as I’m concerned.
Maybe it’s having lived in Europe for many years, where American-style over-the-top shoot-em-ups just look ridiculous because of their implausibility. Maybe it’s actually *knowing* a couple of Maltese people (and clergy at that)! But the whole premise of the film is just flat-out ridiculous from the get-go, and that makes for funny for me.
I mean, in Texas? Sure. But _Malta_? *Chortle*.
This one also gave me the opportunity for an amusing experiment, which you all might find amusing.
Not long ago, an aquintance of mine had to pack up his family and go and live in Malta for a year. He had a good sense of humor, but wasn’t a MSTie, so I thought, ‘Ooooh, mate, have I got something for _you_,’ and sent him a copy of this episode while he was over there.
He wrote me back after he and his wife had watched it one evening. I gather it hit him harder than it would other people, in part because it was so unexpected. He proclaimed it one of the funniest things he had ever seen. “I can’t believe this movie,” he said. “Maltese people are NOTHING like this. And the location shots are a mess!” And on and on it went. I think, as for me, the riffing was just gravy as far he was concerned.
He was thinking of writing a book about his experiences overseas, and was musing titling it, “From Malta: Home of Fine Knights, Crosses, and Falcons.” We’ll see if it ever happens!
Well, the IMDb has no credit for Greydon Clark on HOBGOBLINS. The editor of HOBGOBLINS was the great Rick Sloane. It’s still a mystery what part, if any, Greydon has in the history of HOBGOBLINS!
About Mike tripping repeatedly:
Any chance that was an allusion to Tom Baker’s Doctor Who?
In one episode (perhaps one of the Key To Time series?)
he and Romana II get trapped in a time loop and he keeps
tripping over something.
If it had Romana II, then it can’t have been The Key of Time as that one had Romana I.
Craig J. Clark @ 99
I prefer to think ( and I could well be wrong ) that their shock and horror was not that Brain Guy was going to have homosexual sex, but that he was going to have any kind of sex at all.
It is just that it is easy to telegragh that intention using the hard core leather gear ( that happens to be associated with a certain subset of gay culture ). I don’t know what they could have dressed him up in to imply hetero-sex.
I like to think that they would have the same response if they saw him in heavy bondage gear being lead away on a chain by a dominatrix.
When you get right down to it, “Final Justice” is pretty much an episode of “McCloud” with lots more violence. I mean, you have the country lawman who shows the highly experienced big city cops how to catch crooks by pretty much throwing the rule book into a stump grinder. Come to think of it, “Final Justice” is also a lot like “Coogan’s Bluff”, with Joe Don instead of Clint Eastwood.
I once got out my Dad’s old stopwatch and timed how long it took between the doomed sheriff’s introduction and his violent death; as I remember, it’s less than three minutes. And less than one minute goes by from the time Joe Don promises the villain’s girlfriend, “I can protect you,” and her violent death. That’s what I call cutting to the chase.
Does anyone else feel sorry for poor Goosio?
#106
Sitting Duck
==============
Yep. you’re right about Romana I and II. I did
a search. It was Romana II, with cactusish Meglos
doing the time loop attempt.
@ 99 – Wow… I never saw it like that, and still don’t. Seems like a bit of a reach.
At first Pearl’s just confused by the outfit and upon finding out that Brain Guy wasn’t being silly, gets grossed out. Is the outfit really that disturbing? No, but it’s likely the most disturbing thing they could get away with.
“Oh that’s easy, just waggle his tail.”
I’m not a medium, etc. (#107): “It is just that it is easy to telegragh that intention using the hard core leather gear ( that happens to be associated with a certain subset of gay culture ). I don’t know what they could have dressed him up in to imply hetero-sex.”
This is hardly the only “Brain Guy is probably gay” joke that they did, though. Three weeks from now, we have two coming up in the same episode.
Now that I think of it, considering we never saw a female Observer, maybe they’re all gay by default. Although I don’t suppose the Brains thought it out that way.
Wow, my ears must be really bad because, for the longest time, I thought the, “Let’s talk loudly about our SUVs!” line was, “Let’s talk loudly about our STDs!”
Kenneth #108
The first time we watched this my wife gasped as the bots attacked Goosio and said, “Why did they do that?” The next time she watched it she yelled, “Run Goosio!”
We watched “Hamlet” last night and during the “alas Poor who?” she said, “Alas poor Goosio! That’s who!” So yeah she feels sorry for the poor little guy. And so do I, especially when he pathetically asks, “Why you hurt poor goosio?”
But the bots are so grouchy this season, so it’s also kind of funny. I just imagine that Mike was able to put Goosio back together and that Crow and Tom were banned from Malta – which would obviously suit Crow just fine. :)
#51: Why can’t you spell S E P A R A T E? Is it honestly that hard?
Steve Pop #112
I’m not saying that Brain Guy is not gay ( not that there would anything wrong with “Brain Gay” ).
I am arguing that neither the Best Brains nor the characters they write for are being homophobic. Their shock is at Brain Guy as a sexual being, regardless of his orientation.
Luke #51 – You shouldn’t care about anyone else’s opinion on anything, ESPECIALLY those posted on the internet. But you obviously do or else you wouldn’t be here gettin’ all up in our stuff.
Anyway, this IS official dictum (D I C T U M)! Santa and the Easter Bunny told me so.
#
“#116
I’m not a medium, I’m a petite says:
June 11, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Steve Pop #112
I’m not saying that Brain Guy is not gay ( not that there would anything wrong with “Brain Gay” ).
I am arguing that neither the Best Brains nor the characters they write for are being homophobic. Their shock is at Brain Guy as a sexual being, regardless of his orientation.”
I’m not a medium, I’m a petite is right! I think these students are right! Er. Anyway, yes, Brain Guy is supposed to be a bodiless brain, that happens to have a body and aesexual. The idea of him being sexual in any capacity is meant to be repulsive. We saw this already with dancing at the end of the Girl in Gold Boots episode.
I’m not a medium (#116):
I must have misinterpreted what you meant by “I don’t know what they could have dressed him up in to imply hetero-sex.” I thought you were saying that they dressed him as gay rather than straight just because it’s easier to signify “sexualized gay man” in costume than it is “sexualized straight man.”
For what it’s worth, I think orientation has a definite role in the gag, but I don’t read it as homophobic. I can’t really picture it playing like that if Brain Guy were dressed in some equally extreme, but straight, way. But the Brains were playing with the stereotypical shocked reaction, rather than suggesting that there’s anything wrong with being gay– the same way a show like “Will & Grace” would make a joke of people’s reaction to gay people. The joke is mostly about Pearl and Bobo overreacting like strait-laced parents in a melodramatic TV movie of the week. (The other part was saying that leather boy gear is funny. But, hell, they also said that Joe Don Baker’s outfit was funny, and that didn’t have anything to do with orientation, either.)
“Takes a roast and wraps it in bacon”
“But there’s potatoes on the siiiiide!”
While this is one of the weaker episodes of the season, that’s more because the others are top-notch. This one’s definitely in the good-not-great category. Unquestionably a despicable movie full of despicable characters (save Maltese Police Hottie Maria, who still might cross the line for being so forgiving/helpful to Unlicensed Executioner Geronimo), which makes it a little rough to get through. For what it’s worth, though, the first part of the movie doesn’t put me to sleep like Mitchell did (nor are any of the host segments anywhere NEAR as annoying as “Gypsy screams for 3 minutes”). Big fan of the “Mike’s tripping” bit, if only because they’re all quite celebratory about winning such a minor victory. Of course, in the same situation, I too would probably celebrate never having to watch a bad Joe Don Baker movie in which a dark haired sheriff is shot and slides down a wall multiple times.
Also, as I recall Joe Don Baker was the only person riffed on who ever threatened physical violence if he ever met anyone associated with the show. I’d say that warrants taking off the kid gloves. Also also, did someone here really say that the callbacks in this episode don’t count because “I think they were just disillusioned because they were getting canceled?” What exactly is the logic behind that statement? If we’re going to say that, then how the deuce do you defend them using the EXACT SAME CALLBACKS IN NEARLY EVERY EPISODE throughout seasons 2 and 3? I swear I heard “By that time my lungs were aching for air” more often as a callback than in its own movie.
IPoBroStePo @ 119
No, you have me dead right on that. But that was merely a minor, secondary point of mine, and in fact, the way you stated it is far clearer then I could muster.
And it is a very fine line that you bring up… at what point does reliance on stereotypical behaviour for humor cross the line from good-natured to mean-spirited and then to out and out hatred.
Look at the Dick Van Dyke show… if you are an afficionado, then you know the two episodes where they use race for humor… racial humor if you will, without it being in anyway rascist.
but all the navel gazing aside, let us not forget that Brain Guy as Leather Boy was brilliant and funny.
I have a few bones to pick, so here goes:
1)gummo, stop the fascist crap, JDB is a renegade. Although all criminalla should get prosecuted in court, these people he killed were scum, people who would have no problem killing anyone. look how the one uses a kid as a shield. I realize many feel sorry for those poor mafia people.
2)Chris Lark, the point about mitchell could have taken Granny someplace where she could get a cab, she was a mule. He did her a favor by not arresting her as such.
3)I need to relax
Finias @88-I agree with your comments but I cant help picturing Bango from Wild Rebels muttering “That guy BUGS ME. He Really BUGS ME!”
Just watched this on DVD today for the first time, don’t know what took so long. What a lousy movie, which surprisingly lead to average riffing.
I did chuckle out loud some, but not as often as usual. Can’t blame the Brains at all, this movie was just poor starting material. Host segs were the real highlight for me. 3 stars.
#123- isn’t it “that square bugs me!”
89 – Good catch re: Simpsons/McBain. I must have seen that episode long before I caught MST/Final Justice.
123 – Thanks for that. Yeah, the Wild Rebels reference was intentional. As Joel famously said, “The right people will get it.”
But I realize now I goofed on my earlier callback: s/b “Whoa… huge slam on MSTies out of nowhere.” (OATMB/anteaters)
An aside: I’ve been visiting this site regularly for a couple of years now and it seems like I’ve been seeing a bunch of new usernames posting on these threads recently. It’s good to know people are still discovering MST3K and this site. The downside is I’ve also noticed a bunch of new spammers posting commercial links in their names with generic comments like “Love your blog. Here’s something else you might like…” Hopefully Sampo/Erhardt find and delete these.
Also, I’m glad that some folks here are championing this episode, once again proving Sampo’s Theorem. I only rated it 3 stars because the movie is so “ugly” but I agree that the riffing is solid.
A decent episode, but a bit disappointing on the riffing-front. I did get a good bit of laughs and chuckles, and enjoy the segments, however I felt the movie gave them a lot to work with, but M&tB didn’t give it their best effort. They did more than just phone-it-in, but as I said, the level and quality of the riffs were a bit disappointing.
Certainly I can’t say that I could do better, but I know that they have done more with less in the past.
Again, though, the entire mood at Best Brains at the time could have been such that putting 100% into the show was hard to do.
3 Stars
You know,
for all the lackluster reviews fans have for this episode,
(myself included)
you got 127 posts for this one in about a day.
Obviously, we all have an opinion to express. :lol: :lol:
I can add nothing to the voluminous information already given.
@#122 Stan McSerr
2)Chris Lark, the point about mitchell could have taken Granny someplace where she could get a cab, she was a mule. He did her a favor by not arresting her as such.
FWIW Stan that makes him even MORE apathetic to the law than I orig. thought. Afterall if granny really was a drug smuggler then don’t you think he should’ve just arrested her anyway? (and then make her squeal on all the people she smuggles for?) I guess I should just be glad he didn’t put her in the trunk?
“You better ruuuuuuuunnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!” Ha I love it!
Having been exposed to and held captive under the dominion of all things phony in the corporate world back in the 80’s and 90’s, Best Brains’ precision exposure of it all was a personal balm of healing to me.
Crow: “Business, business, business, merger, merger, stock options…”
Pearl: “I’m sorry! What was that? I was busy having eyballs that won’t stay in their sockets”.
A bit later,
Pearl: “Bobo? Let’s give them their movie starring the dyspeptic Joe Don Baker…..”
Bobo: “As soon as I’m done wearing big, funny goofy teeth”.
Pearl: “Hey!! Get to work!!”
Pearl’s outfit at the end of the show is not at all dissimilar to the middle-management “zaniness” in wacky dress-up that befell our office amidst the massive “Glad To Be Of Service” banners strewn everywhere. Her faux-excited, “Whee.” brought great playsure beyond maysure to me.
I thought the lovely Maria’s voice was a near ringer for Rain Man’s Valeria Golino.
@The Elusive Robert Denby, #120:
Well, that’s not exactly what I said, and not exactly what I meant. I didn’t say that the call-backs “don’t count”. I specifically said that what I was talking about *weren’t* call-backs. There just seemed to me to be more than a few jokes that were formulaic and similar to riffs in previous experiments but weren’t as funny or inspired as those earlier jokes. Some others here suggested maybe they were coasting on the reputation of Mitchell. I really wouldn’t know the reason, but the riffing in this one definitely seemed to me to be more of an auto-pilot sort of attempt than usual.
Add me to the long list of people who find this episode pretty average. I try not to watch particular episodes more than once a year, but this one, I’ve gone two or three years without seeing.
I think the people who are calling this movie simply “bad” are missing the point. In terms of production competence, this one may be above average for MSTed movies. And that very thing is the problem. A few years ago, I watched Ed Wood’s “Night of the Ghouls” on DVD, and found it pretty dull. And I realized the reason it was so dull was because it was more competently made– it didn’t have those moments of wild overreach and sheer craziness that made “Plan 9” and “Bride of the Monster” so memorable. By this later film, Wood had honed his technique to a level of the dull sub-average.
Similarly, I think this movie has very few moments that stand out. It doesn’t have any texture, few rough edges that the Brains can get their satiric teeth into. Whereas, for instance, “Manos” or “Red Zone Cuba” are so roughly made and so totally bizarre, they’re practically all texture. Or a movie like “Diabolik” or “This Island Earth” can be fairly well produced, but have a certain degree of oddness that the riffs can exploit. “Final Justice” is more of a smooth, dull piece of product. For the same reason, I find most of the TV movies/pilots kind of tough going, except for “Riding with Death,” which has its groovy ’70sness and smug Ben Murphyosity going for it.
So it’s tough to apply any sort of linear good/bad scale to MSTed movies, is what I’m saying. They work, or they don’t, but it has little correlation with any cinematic merits the movies may (but probably don’t) have.
trickymutha. I stand corrected. I’m lucky if I remember where I am half the time never mind what Bango says. But hey, its the Undersea Kingdom for you and for me…
It always bothers me that Palermo runs out of the confessional while trying to hide from TJG in the church. It was the perfect disguise that was working fine until he bolted, and the whole subsequent 45 minute boat chase could have been avoided. Maybe he just couldn’t take anymore of that old woman’s sobbing.
Meatballs fried in LARRRRRRRRD!
“Looks like God’s doing alright for himself.”
I know this is a minor quibble, but the line is actually “Go HEAD on” not “ahead”. He was telling them to go head on with him, face to face, looking into each others eyes as they draw. Hence saying “head on”.
#138 Good for you – deciphering a line of dialogue that people have been misinterpreting for decades now. It casts the character of Geronimo from Final Justice in an entirely new light. Thanks for that. (/sarcasm)
I forgot to mention: there’s a smell in this thread….and….it’s…..MALTEASE!
#138 Makes sense.
I LOVE me this episode, but I find it *very* interesting that opinions are so divided (and *really* divided — not just “hate it!”, or “love it” but “average”, “boring”, “in my top rotation”, etc.).
Sampo — have you done a weekend thread on the most divided opinion on any episode? This one might quality all by itself.
Castle Monster made me laugh out loud twice with two posts — so, thanks, needed a chuckle this morning.
I’m in the camp that thinks JDB is NOT off limits — I think it’s fair game to attack him personally since he’s basically playing himself in ALL his films (due to his lack of acting ability). How this very unattractive man ever got the lead in any movie is beyond my comprehension (and I actually liked him in “Walking Tall”). Oh, I guess an argument could be made that he’s a really superb actor who in Real Life is 100lbs thinner and with the sophistication of a David Niven but that seems rather unlikely to me (would be a funny movie plot, though).
“Yes, yes, whatever you say.”
“Did I mention he likes MEEEELK!”
Jusr remembered that Hamlet’s next. The comment thread should be *very* interesting on Thursday. (Hamlet’s one of my favorites, for the record. Wait, *is* there a record?)
I’ll go to Youtube tonight and see if I can get past the first few minutes of Hamlet.
#84 Chris Lark said “3. IMDB’s listing for Helena is actually missing something. She did a guest appearance on an episode of “Remington Steele.” She played a bride who with her groom were both ejected from a horse driven carriage by Remington & Laura so they could borrow the carriage and chase after a bird. The episode is called “Maltese Steele” and believe it or not they actually used some locations that FJ used (like the plaza area with the standoff scene featuring the kid who dressed like Napoleon.) Seriously if you don’t believe me YouTube or Google it.”
I liked this lady’s accent and shampoo-commercial-worthy hair in Final Justice, and was a little surprised myself that she (according to the IMDB) never acted again. So when I read your comment, I went and watched that episode of Remington Steele on HULU on a lark, and there she was. Thanks, and someone should correct the IMDB on that.
I enjoyed the episode all around. Try as it might, the movie is not bad enough to ruin the Malta locations, which are interesting, attractive, and reasonably well photographed. The jokes about Joe Don Baker do get a bit personal, when I think there was plenty to make fun of about the character and not the actor, but I don’t think it crosses the “all in good fun” line.
For those who think the riffing may be too harsh or personal, remember that the filmakers and Baker himself deserve every jibe for thinking that Geronimo would actually be an appealing protagonist to ANYONE. Its difficult to imagine a more unattractive and unsympathetic hero, especially after he threatens a hapless stripper with a coathanger. Final Justice hit us first, its only fair that we defend ourselves.
about there being a lack of funny moments in final justice i see plenty of them. I know the constant rips on JDB does get old but some of them are still funny. (example end credits) Stuff lots of food in your meat baby face. Come on pass the gravy now. Is someone gonna eat that last piece of cake cause I will. Both Mitchell and final justice are funny and Mitchell may be a little funnier but i can easily sit through the movie and be laughing more than half the time. 4.5 stars out of 5.
memorable moments (when other lawmen gets shot in the beginning) The briskets in the uhhhh.
(when JDB shoots mob member into the river full of water making huge splash) Hey he absorbed all the water. (all the water is gone
What does “let’s talk loudly about our SUVs mean?” Just your typical obnoxious American tourists, SUVs tend to be unpopular in smaller European countries as well.
I looked it up. Final Justice was released one year after Dirty Harry uttered the words “go ahead and make my day” in Sudden Impact. Did these film makers seriously think they would supplant that catch phrase with “Yew think yew kin take me? Go ‘head on. It’s yer move.” In their minds I bet they thought they could.
Count me as a Yes non-fan so I too have puzzled over that rather annoying song.
We’ve all worked somewhere where office levity was fine as long as management was behind it. If you tried to add levity on your own… It doesn’t end as well.
Am I the only one who suspects if Jon Don Baker where “big” in another era I could easily see him as the “lead” in a greasy biker film?
Geronimo vs. Mitchel: Geronimo is a bit less incompetent, somewhat less corrupt and a lot less repulsive. I’ll take Geronimo.
Without a doubt Crow’s report on Malta is my all time favorite Crow report. He just nails his subject matter on this one.
Frankly I think Crow sums it up best. “He makes Randy Quaid look subtle and diminutive.”
The Greydon Clark interview sure revealed a delusional man. He really thinks people will look through MST and discover his masterpiece of a movie.
Favorite Riffs:
Joe Don Baker’s credit appears on screen. Crow “Oo I wish I was illiterate so I didn’t have to read that.”
Joe Don give chase. Crow “I’ve got to stop putting off that bypass surgery.”
Final Justice fails the Bechdel Test. At no point do any female characters converse with each other.
At least Greydon Clark was willing to admit in the DVD interview that Geronimo escorting the mobster to Italy was contrived.
Honestly, I found most of the host segments in this episode to be as weak as Maltese men (though Mike’s escape attempt was kind of clever). As you might guess from that remark, the one big exception was Crow’s report on Malta. It all comes down to how Crow’s rage is so over the top.
I’m not a medium, I’m a petite #107: I like to think that they would have the same response if they saw him in heavy bondage gear being lead away on a chain by a dominatrix.
Who would have presumably been portrayed by Beez.
@ #113: How did you come to hear it like that (I immediately regret asking)?
Favorite riffs
If you’re going to whack a guy, get a decent battery.
This reminds the pilot he’s been a failure in life.
Here’s our new convention center. It was built in 1411.
Revenge is a dish best served with laughter and giggles.
“Not getting anything done in this hotel room.”
Well not anything you need to know about.
High Goon.
The Ugly, the Ugly, and the Ugly.
Stop or we’ll surrender.
You’ll have to grease me and push me through here.
I’m taking on water! Oh, that’s just me sweating.
Wow, this movie’s really drawing me in. To a deep well of despair.
“Give me twenty-four hours. That’s all I ask you.”
No, you have one day.
I’d better call my mother. She can defend me from this big man.
I’m glad we skipped the cavity search.
He’s the mobster who gives people a stern talking to.
I’ll pick your nose if you scream.