Movie: (1981) A band of outlaws fights an evil corporation overseeing a forced evacuation of the Bronx.
First shown: 3/2/96
Opening: Crow’s charity auction
Intro: Crow starts a fire on the SOL, Dr. F. puts his mother in a “home”
Host segment 1: Mike helps Crow try bio-feedback, but a fire starts
Host segment 2: Men’s night on the SOL
Host segment 3: Dr. F. has a plan to boost ratings: Timmy Bobby Rusty
End: Letter, Servo arrives by helicopter, and Toblerone visits Deep 13
Stinger: “PTOO!” “HA, HA, HA!” sez Toblerone
(203 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)
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• This one is hit and miss for me. Some funny segments, some “meh” ones. Some great stretches of riffing, some quiet sections. And the movie: ugh. Boy, is it stupid but, wow, does it have some wacky characters. But above all, there is Toblerone, Dablone, or whatever his name is.
• This episode is included in Shout! Factory’s “Volume XXXVII.”
• References.
• Mary Jo also provided the commentary for this episode in our season seven episode guide. Did she mention she loves Dablone? Yes. Yes, she did.
• Fans had been getting episodes pretty regular for the past month, but this was the last one we would get until mid-May (about 10 weeks away) and THAT would would the last one we’d get for many months.
• By this time, fans knew the show had been canceled on CC and suddenly, on this brand new thing called World Wide Web, there were already hundreds of “Save MST3K” sites. It would be several more months before Sci-Fi Channel would make the announcement that the show was coming back.
• Between this and the next episode, “MST3K: The Movie” hit theaters. Indeed, by the time the next episode aired, the movie was already fading fast.
• The phrase “Leave the Bronx!” became an immediate catchphrase.
• Is it just me, or does leaving the Bronx for New Mexico seem like a pretty good idea?
• The opening is a cute idea but it kind of gets driven into the ground. But it does feature that “award show” music we’ve heard before.
• The intro, in which Dr. F puts Pearl “in a home” is a very nice reveal. And it’s definitely a return to form for Dr. F.
• And nothing says “We’ve been canceled” having a big fire for no reason.
• The “men’s night” bit is great, with poor Crow completely unfamiliar with Mike’s 700 different slang requests for a brewski. Nice and breezy.
• Sometimes in an MST3k episode, they’re going along, riffing the movie, minding their own business, then all of a sudden a larger-than-life character appears. Torgo is like that, of course. And later there would be Rowsdower. But in season seven, there was Toblerone. Ha-ha-ha!
• One other thought about the movie: the little demolition expert kid is cute and all, well sort of, right up until he calmly murders a guy. Sure, he’s been blowing them up at a distance for a while now, and yes, the guy was about to shoot his dad, but still.
• In 1980, Peter Gabriel wrote and recorded a song called “Jeux Sans Frontières.” Many casual listeners — like Crow — never guessed that the phrase he was singing was French, and instead struggled to find an English phrase that fit the phonemes they were hearing. Crow apparently thinks Peter was singing o/` “She’s so pop-u-lar …” o/` (I will admit that, before I knew better, I thought he was singing “She’s so funky.”)
• The Timmy Bobby Rusty stuff definitely reflects the kind of notes I’m sure they’d been getting from the suits at Comedy Central. The bit is not terribly funny, but it was probably cathartic for them. Segment 3 is also the first reference in a long time to Dr. F “selling the results of his experiments to cable TV” as Joel used to tell us all the time. That’s Paul as TBR, of course.
• Callbacks: “I gotta get to the ‘Zombie Nightmare’ set,” “I’m Cherokee Jack.” (Red Zone Cuba) “No, Lupita!” (Santa Claus).
• With only one episode to go, BBI seems to have created a brand new bumper for this episode, one with the planet Earth in the background and the SOL going by. It’s pretty, and it was used again in the next episode.
• Somebody makes a riff that is premised on the notion of a Kinko’s being on every corner. I’d forgotten that era 15 years ago when when the chain was aggressively expanding. They’ve now been absorbed by FedEx, most of those locations have closed and the brand has largely faded away.
• That’s Mike, of course, as Toblerone, in the closer.
• Cast and crew roundup: Just one name this time: costumer/art director: Massimo Lentini was also art director on “The Cave Dwellers.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon.
• Fave riff: “Kill us! … Thank you!” Honorable mention: “All right we’re here in the K-Rock super van with the — AIIIEEEEEE!!!”
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First time I saw this, I thought “Escape 2000” as a movie was a real drag. But now, I think it’s good fun.
This latest viewing I found a new fave moment from the Pearl and Clay thing. When she demands to be let out of the house, Dr F just mildly says, “Wow.” And he’s nodding in amazement at this display of senility. The delivery kills me.
It’s not just Tom’s singing at the end that I like, it’s Mike constantly getting poked with the neck of Crow’s guitar. It looked pretty painful.
Mike: It’s some of the politest, most informative grafitti I’ve ever seen.
Tom: Mr. Lee!
I mention this exchange because it reminded me of a bit of grafitti I saw once that said “F*** Mr. Parker”. I think it’s kinda silly, I mean, if you’re gonna dis someone…why the respectful “Mr.” :) (Sorry about going off-topic…)
A fine episode.
This is a rare one that I don’t know too well, and, I know why. My “fan” copy sucks. Like “Alien from LA”, once Shout! releases it, well, it will be fresh game.
For some reason, a release with “City Limits” seems natural. Nice pairing.
When I first saw this, I thought they were being hard on Valerie “Moon” D’Obici. Now… maybe not. She’s not helped by whoever’s dubbing her voice, making her sound shrill, nasal and hostile with every line. The weird script affectation of having her call people nicknames like “The Thief of Baghdad,” “Ali Baba” and “Conan” (the last one Mike and the Bots actually caught) is also not particularly endearing. So she’s not particularly missed after she’s shot, really.
Again, I liked the needling of Henry Silva, too (“Henry Silva, for all your Silva needs”). He’s doing the usual “phone it in bad guy” routine, but I still wish “NO SUGAR!” would have been the stinger. That’s a real “what the hell” moment.
It’s weird how the murder of Trash’s parents never comes up again, considering how horrific it’s made out to be. He never even tells Moon or Strike or Dablone about it. It just happens and he gets over it quick. Considering Gregory’s acting talents, it’s probably for the best.
And let me tell you… if the apartment building I was in was completely empty, decrepit and uninhabitable, I guarantee I’d lose my resistance to leaving, no matter how much I considered it “home.”
Sampo sez: • With only one episode to go, BBI seems to have created a brand new bumper for this episode, one with the planet Earth in the background and the SOL going by. It’s pretty, and we never see it again, I don’t think.
—
We actually get it again in Laserblast (still, why bother creating a new bumper for two episodes?).
Screw Toblerone… the scenes with Rat Woman (and Crow’s sound effects) save this movie for me.
My comments from before around #41 hold up pretty well, but note that #59 had some corrections about the first Bronx/Trash movie.
In addition to my previous comments I’d like to add that in the 80’s the end of the world was a lot more fun than it is now. Back then an apocalypse was a chance to party in a shopping mall, or race dune buggies across Australia (once you got beyond Thunderdome), or fight The Man and do laundry with a ragtag bunch of themed freedom fighters and a guy like Toblerone, who is clearly enjoying himself immensely. Heck, the centerpiece of the movie Night of the Comet is two teenage girls dancing barefoot and trying on clothes to the tune of Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
Now we have movies like The Road. Where all the plants and all the animals are dead, the mini-marts have been picked clean, the last Twinkie has been eaten, and now the few survivors who haven’t committed suicide are diseased, filthy, emaciated, and resorting to cannibalism. Where’s the Toblerone?
Horror movies have undergone a similar bummering. In the 80’s slasher movies usually consisted of a bunch of young kids having fun until they get murdered in entertaining ways, and finally a survivor girl got to kill the monster and emerge triumphant and empowered. Now we get an hour and a half of hyper realistic torture with any survivors being physically crippled, emotionally destroyed, and spiritually corrupted. I’m still very much an old school 80’s gorehound, and I miss the days when the emphasis was on murder and not torture. Sorry if this rant has gotten off topic. I just kind of had to get that off my chest.
Glad Sampo mentioned the annoying commercial with “Buzz the bee”. That and the extended Fargo commercials I remember very clearly from my VHS tape of this episode.
By this time I was recording in SP mode, and ended up with a pretty good copy of the episode. I think it was even one of the tapes I sent to encoders at DAP, but don’t remember if it was used. I know my tape of Being from another planet was used for the DAP-DVD for sure.
Anyways I asked for the tape to be sent back just for those little memories in the form of annoying commercials and CC bumps.
Doesn’t Ms Nosferatu say at one point that the willing Bronx-leavers are actually being sent to slave labor camps or worse? And presumably word of that has hit the street & that’s why the remaining Bronxites are sticking around.
Or maybe when they get to New Mexico EvilCo Worldwide Inc puts them in “homes”.
I am absolutely baffled by any negative response to this episode.
You’ve got hilarious explosions, over-the-top acting, big hair, big muscles and a badass soundtrack. How on earth can you go wrong?
I watched the original movie on YouTube and enjoyed it for its actual merits. This movie is aware it’s a cheesy Italian knockoff of “Escape from New York” and doesn’t give a damn, just like its prequel “The Bronx Warriors” is aware it’s a knockoff of “The Warriors.” Hell, the original name for “Escape 2000” was “Escape from the Bronx.” I’m guessing it was changed to avoid a copyright lawsuit.
A lot has already been said about Toblerone, but I’ll put in my own thoughts: this guy knew he was in a silly movie, just like the director knew he was making a silly movie, and he hammed it up in the most delightful way. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Toblerone dies in the full version of the film. He went out in a blaze of glory and won’t be forgotten.
I think Escape 2000 is best paired with Warrior of the Lost World and Space Mutiny, for when you need to see uniformed fascist guards get blown up real good.
I don’t care if Toblerone died in some “official” version of Escape 2000. Our Toblerone is eternal and lives in all of us. Thanks for the info though.
BTW Henry Silva was great in Sharkey’s Machine, an early 80’s Burt Reynolds movie, as a drugged up hit man. I’ve always enjoyed spotting him in films since then.
Remember Henry Silva played himself in the sketch farce “Amazon Women on the Moon” where he has the line, “Did I take this job just to make a quick buck?” Don’t answer that.
And now that I recall, he is yet ANOTHER MST veteran (to join Ev from Giant Spider and Abusive Male astronaut from King Dinosaur)to appear in a very fine movie, The Manchurian Candidate, in which I think Silva plays a Korean.
Fred #110> I never made the connection but I love Amazon Women on the Moon. The Bullsh*t or Not sketch was pretty good too…
Henry Silva is definitely an actor I should have listed during our Weekend Discussion on stand-out performances in MSTed films.
Let’s all not forget that Henry Silva is the most FAAAABulous bad guy of all in Megaforce, surely the most FAAAAAbulous action movie of the 1980s.
To me, Henry Silva will always be Kane in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.
“The Bronx is something…which I should have left!”
Love this episode, it always cracks me up. You cant beat goofy Italian dubbed 80’s movies. That being said, I only saw a bit of the Bronx Warriors prequel, but it had a really cool sequence where the gangs meet up as a lone drummer “plays” the background music. How come this movie has nothing as cool as that? It’s a pretty by-the-numbers movie but it seems to be the same director. Maybe he exhausted all his cool ideas with the first film.
#106 – Thanks for that Being From Another Planet DVD! (And maybe Escape 2000)
And don’t forget Henry Silva’s uncanny performance as the female lead in “Parts: The Clonus Horror”!
One of my top ten episodes. I love every bit of it.
LEAVE BRONX! LEAVE BRONX! BABY LEAVE BRONX! SOMEDAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU! BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU!
On the side of a van: Annihilation & Disinfestation Squad. Crow: “I think they’ve blown their cover!”
Camera goes to one scene of people talking, then quickly pans to another scene,
Mike: “…but that’s not really our story.”
The more I watch this one, the more I enjoy it. When what little story there is deteriorates in the last half hour, that ONLY MAKES IT BETTER!
Now, leave The Bronx.
It’s been an odd day.
Oh, and Henry Silva is also the big bad in Kinji Fukasaku’s bloated epic Virus.
I saw this movie in Mexico (with Spanish dubbing) the same year this episode came out, but at that time I didn’t know about MST3000 beyond it being the guy and two robots watching movies. I didn’t think the movie was THAT bad
At Phoenix ComiCon last week, I said “LEAVE THE BRONX” to a guy wearing a Gizmonics jumpsuit. He looked at me like I was crazy. Lol, I guess we’re all not familiar with this episode.
I don’t remember it from the MST3K-edited version (although that admittedly means much less than it could). It would probably be in the uncut original, though.
This film is kind of like “City Limits,” where having gangs running the city was preferable to having a corporation run the city. Of course, the corporation in “City Limits” was IIRC not killing people with flamethrowers, so there IS that.
“Is it just me, or does leaving the Bronx for New Mexico seem like a pretty good idea?” No, it’s not just you – I left Houston for New Mexico some 30+ years ago and have loved living here! And, basically, I’d leave the Bronx for almost anywhere.
Albuquerque has a suburb called Rio Rancho. The town started off as a developed community when it was created in the 1970s. The story I’ve always heard is that when it got started, a huge advertising blitz was done in NYC to attract people to move to this new town in New Mexico. Apparently, many of them did, and the running joke for a while was that Rio Rancho was the 6th borough. It has grown far beyond that since then, but this movie always makes me laugh because there was once a push to “Leave the Bronx, Move to Enchanting New Mexico.”
Re the “why would they want to stay?” issue, it’s reasonably common for people who have left the inner city to achieve success (like Nosferatu Lady), to “make good,” are considered by their former neighbors to have “abandoned their people” OSLT. It’s some kind of “local pride” thing I guess: Never move up and never move out. And you should never argue with a crazy mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-man, you ought to know by now.
That’s actually been the case in any number of movies. So the filmmakers work quick and split before the cops arrive.
As it happens, “Welcome Back, Kotter” was set in Bensonhurst, BROOKLYN. TWEET two yard penalty. ;-)
How many people know that, at the end of the series, Horshak got MARRIED (the intent being to lay the groundwork for a “Horshak” spinoff that never materialized)? Not many, I bet.
This was only a year prior to Blade Runner. The Italians rip things off fast, but not THAT fast.
It’s [one of our old] future. Guns can reasonably be expected to be a lot different than now, uh, then.
Well, obviously, they don’t know his first name. ;-) Besides, “Parker” could mean lots of people but presumably only one guy is regularly called “Mr. Parker” (similar to “Mr. Kotter” or “Mr. Woodman”) within the confines of the neighborhood, in contrast to “That Parker Guy” or “Pus-Face Parker” or “P|ss-ant Parker” or like that there. OSLT.
Escape 2000 fails the Bechdel Test. None of the female characters converse with each other.
Who’d have thought that you could take down a helicopter with a revolver.
Trash’s dad was a real idiot thinking he could take on those armed goons with a baseball bat.
If I followed correctly, Nosferatu Reporter was fine with the Bronx being a gangland zone. So why exactly are we suppose to sympathize with them again? Sure the whole eviction at gunpoint reflects poorly on the developers, but I’m still unsure who is the lesser evil here.
@ #25: To be fair, New York City had some ghastly crime rates back in the Eighties.
Favorite riffs
Even thought this is Italy, leave the Bronx.
The Orkin Men have snapped.
If you leave the Bronx, we’ll give you Fudgicles.
It looks like most of the buildings have left the Bronx.
Sir, would you at least take a Watchtower?
“When will the press and the television be allowed in?”
When the killing’s done.
The Bronx has hit an iceberg and is sinking.
With the rent I pay, I should not have to put up with this crap.
“Judging from the stink, I’d say we’re under the public toilets.”
That’s my Chanelle.
Howard Stern in West Side Story.
Formerly Dan’s Diaper Service. Now the Annihilation Squad.
The Good Humor Organization in a show of force.
I know it’s wrong, but he smells delicious.
“Nobody would sit on a john full of dynamite.”
I did it once, and it was a mistake.
It’s hard being a Nazi. I should have just been a pirate.
Thing, put the Luger down.
Wilford Brimley is 007.
Now the hero subcontractor has to subcontract to his kid.
Jim Henson’s Chairman Mao Babies.
Hey Skipper, look at the terrorists over there.
“Ready to greet him is New York’s state governor Malcolm Biddle.”
Don’t laugh at his name. He gets mad at that.
This trampoline accident could have been avoided. Never use a trampoline with unstable TNT in your pocket.
Don’t make me think. I can’t multitask.
The Bronx is leaking.
You know, we haven’t taken the time to enjoy the death of that devil vampire woman.
And why do you want to be a scale model here at ConglomCo?
“Their demands are absurd!”
They want crappies nailed to every lamppost.
They shot the asthmatic Nazi.
Apparently, some of you do not want to leave the Bronx. As a first step, we urge you to try to think outside the Bronx.
It’s Old West Days in the Bronx.
I don’t know. Maybe I will leave the Bronx.
This is Dolby Stereo reminding you to leave the Bronx.
I love the close up shot of Trash’s note he shows Toblerone.
Tom: Lets put this on still-store.
Mike and Crow then snicker a little.
This is a solid episode. Trash is a likeable character, Toblerone is an underrated MST3K character, there’s a guy who looks like Adam Sandler who gets beat up by Thrash while M&TBs cheer him on, plus a few punks. Punks always make movies a little better.
You’re wondering how I keep my hair so full aren’t ‘cha?
I really didn’t have much thought one way or the other about this movie, until I saw the behind-the-scenes segment on the recent Shout! DVD release. Seeing razor-sharp, Cinemascope clips of this film (and its predecessor) make me want to see a straight, non-modified version. Not that it would make the movie itself any better, but I’m always just a bit annoyed when I see a movie has been pannned-and-scanned.
As for the episode itself, the only things that don’t land for me are the fire-related sketches. Everything else is great, with our last great Brains cameos of the CC era. Does this mean, though, that Deep 13 is just outside the Bronx?
Fave Riffs
[Trash drives his motorcycle underground]
Well, I guess it’s just a good thing he doesn’t drive a bus!
“…the most modern technology available.”
Every building will have Selectric Typewriters!
What’s the best way to take care of leg cramps??
Since the last time this episode was up for discussion (how time do fly), this movie has FINALLY been released on Blu-ray in the States. It’s part of a semi-official “Bronx trilogy,” all directed by one of my very favorite Italian directors, Enzo Castellari. The trilogy consists of 1990: The Bronx Warriors, The New Barbarians, and this movie (titled Escape from the Bronx). Escape is a sort-of sequel to 1990 in that Trash is essentially the same character, although there are some minor discontinuities only of interest to the nittiest of nitpickers. The New Barbarians is the odd one out of the “trilogy” in that it’s basically a Max Max ripoff (as opposed to an Escape from New York ripoff).
If you dig trash cinema, I can wholeheartedly recommend 1990 and Barbarians, especially Barbarians, which is terrific in so many ways. Sadly, I can’t really recommend the unriffed, complete version of Escape from the Bronx except to completionists. What was cut for the MST print isn’t all that interesting or enlightening, and it’s not a particularly exciting or spectacular movie. Antonio Sabato as Dablone IS great, though.
BTW, Castellari can be seen in this movie in a couple of shots. He’s the technician (?) talking on the phone, the one with the really thick mustache.
Also, Castellari’s brother plays Mr. President.
Sorry for the long, rambling infodump. This film represents my very favorite genre. How those movies are missed.
The episode has one of my favorite movie end credits bits, with Servo belting out “LEAVE BRONX!” over and over. So stupid but so funny.
off topic
in honor of Don Rickles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WiwOojDTrs
Toblerone is ok, but for me the real standout character is the rat/vampire woman.
The kid gives me the creeps. Apparently he’s supposed to be cute, but he looks more like a dwarf trying to pass himself off as a Euro-kid.
Minor music nerdery point re the Peter Gabriel/“Jeux Sans Frontières” thing — that is very much his song, known in English as “Games Without Frontiers,” but he’s not singing the French part Crow is riffing on. That was an (initially) uncredited appearance by Kate Bush; Gabriel himself sings the English phrase in the main chorus.
Now, for me to just relax — perfectly funny riff, especially in combination with the Pink Floyd ones right after.
To add to the nerdery, the song is based on a movie (or TV show, I forget) of the same name.
“WATCH OUT FOR DEE WIRE!”
“Boom. Boom.”
“Uh your magic isn’t very good, kid.”
Based on the trailers on YouTube it appears The New Barbarians was riffed by Rifftrax already under the title “Warriors of the Wasteland”‘; given the Fred Williamson appearance I thought it more related to Warrior of the Lost World than Bronx 2000. Anyway, thanks for the tip, Bronx 1990 looks great and all of them do indeed appear so much better in widescreen I will look around and check them out.
My comments from #105 still hold. Aside from cast and crew and genre I never got any sense that Warrior of the Wasteland was set in the same world as Escape 2000 and Bronx Warriors 1999. The Trash movies seems to be taking place in a time when civilization is crumbling, but isn’t completely gone. Warrior of the Wasteland/The New Barbarians looks like a place where civilization has completely collapsed. I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for silly Italian 80’s Road Warrior/Escape from New York/The Warriors rip offs. And this one’s got Toblerone! I really like Toblerone. Another great season 7 episode.
As someone else has probably mentioned by now (I didn’t feel like checking the earlier posts; you look at it, I’m bitter), this film is a sequel to “1990: The Bronx Warriors” aka “1990: I Guerrieri del Bronx.” The woman who says to Trash, “Still alive, huh? Listen, baby, I am *still* waiting!” (or words to that effect) appeared in that film as the leader of a gang called the Iron Men, which has a tap-dancing motif (they use sharp-ended canes as weapons), hence the Cabaret outfit (those dancing guys? they’re her gang). Trash was the leader of the Riders, who rode motorcycles in noted contrast to the Tigers, who drove hotrods. A fourth gang, the Zombies, wore hockey masks, carried hockey sticks, and used ROLLER SKATES to zip around after the apocalypse. Of course I’m serious. Why would I make up something like that? HOW could I make up something like that?
That’s the deal with what Dablone’s trying to do, to unite the gangs (although if he himself belongs to a gang, it’s not made clear) against the Manhattan Corporation or whatever it’s called. One might hope that this theme of tap dancers and hockey players and others coming together to fight guys in silver radiation suits (“I like this new movie better!”) can be found in some cut scenes somewhere, but I kind of doubt it.
Gangs with really oddball distinct looks, an effort to unite all the gangs, I’m sure this sounds familiar to some correspondents…
If the Brains riffed the first film, some Friday the 13th riffs (’cause, you know, hockey masks) might seem essential…although the films are mostly such cookie-cutter copies of each other, that might be a quite a chore.
The 1974 film “Act of Vengeance” (aka “Rape Squad”) also has a villain wearing a hockey mask, which makes for an interesting police lineup scene:
http://wipfilms.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/60310_145179118859394_100001019195443_229649_7273144_n.jpg
Did I kill the thread? I killed the thread. Sorry about that. :-|
Well, she risked (and lost) her life trying to help the residents of her old neighborhood, who didn’t seem to have much but scorn for her. She stood up for people who couldn’t/wouldn’t stand up for themselves and obviously wasn’t going to get anything in return (except, y’know, again, death). Caring is usually quite a bit harder than Not Caring, but she went for the former. She died as she lived…accomplishing pretty much nothing. Still, A for effort…