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Weekend Discussion Thread: Drab and Dreary MoviesHaving discussed the dark and dreary “Brute Man” this week, I thought we’d find out what you think is the drabbest, dreariest movie MST3K ever riffed.
My pick: “Radar Secret Service” — a gray movie full of identical men in identical gray suits and hats getting in and out of identical gray cars (except for the one with the giant metal volleyball on top, of course). Sid Melton lightens things up a little, but not enough to save it. Runner up: “The Undead.” When Digger Smolken is the liveliest character in the movie, you know it’s bad. What’s your pick? 169 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Drab and Dreary Movies”Commenting at Satellite News
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My runner up would Teenage Caveman, btw. I don’t think that one’s been mentioned yet. What a slog that film is.
You might be a mistie if:
you’ve watched so many bad movies that Time Chasers seems decent lol
Kudos to Alex at 102!
“You might be a Mystie if:” would be a great discussion thread if it has not been used yet.
I’m not sure this counts, but OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK is dreary BECAUSE of its video brightness. I HATE how that movie looks. :evil:
Funny, I’ve read every comment in here, and only two movies are dreary enough to become utterly unwatchable even in MST format. They are:
2. The Castle of Fu Manchu
1. Hamlet
Both total turds. There are no other MST3k films that I can’t sit through consistently.
Does the name “coleman Francis” cover it for anyone else?
I liked the episode, but Teenage Crimewave is pretty dreary. Most of the movie takes place in a little farmhouse, nobody moves much, and it ends up with pretty much everyone getting shot, including a nice elderly man. Great.
The German version of Hamlet was indeed very dreary, but I loved the episode. Loved it. I had my Shakespeare textbook out reading along with the movie while it was being riffed. English major geek nirvana as far as I’m concerned. One of my favorite three episodes. Sampo’s Theorum is it?
I keep falling asleep trying to rewatch Mad Monster. My husband can’t stand Ring of Terror. There are a few that are hard to rewatch, though- Hamlet, Rocket Attack USA, and Sidehackers top the list.
I thought “Time Chasers” was a pretty decent movie too. At the very least compared to all the other films MST3K riffed. I could at least follow what was going on. Low-budget, sure, but they did a heck of a lot more with a low-budget than many other film-makers have. At least it wasn’t sleazy like “Hobgoblins” or just totally stupid like “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.”
To whoever voted Pod People for most drab and dreary: as my name implies, this is actually one of my all-time favorite episodes. Sure, the movie is dumb and can’t decide if it wants to be “E.T.” or “Friday the 13th” or “Alien,” but I think it actually has a certain goofy charm because of that. I think it’s a very fun movie. I can’t imagine finding Pod People drearier than many of the other movies MST3K riffed, including the many fine candidates listed here!
I don’t think Pod People is the most dreary but, for me, it has enough dreary stretches to bump it off my list of rewatchable episodes. “Hideous Control Now” and “You can do magic!” aren’t enough to counterbalance the long stretches of unpleasant, unlikable people blundering about in the fog or snapping at each other or getting killed. I actually prefer Attack of the Killer Shrews to Pod People; “Killer Shrews” is a long slog but there’s enough hambone acting and melodrama to hold my interest throughout.
I have to say “Indestructible Man” falls into the category of drab and dreary, but that is precisely the reason I LOVE this movie so much. J&TB key into the drabness right from the start and never let it go. I loved this movie as a kid, and I love it still today, MSTK version or original. BTW – you can download a pristine unspliced version of Indestructible Man at archive.org. for free. It is a fabulous copy that has to be close to original. It’s like watching it for the first time again!
Three words “High School Bigshot”, O.K. well maybe four words….
I’m eager to hear someone defend Time Chasers. Acting would count, right? I’m just thinking of the old woman in the grocery store “You need a young lady to take care of you. You can always come to my house.” and Wayne Springsteen on the riding lawnmower with a dixie cup of coffee for a start. What an ugly butt of a film….
High School Bigshot wins for all out nihilism. Beast of Yucca Flats most resembles a journy into a lightless lifeless Hades. And Monster A-Go-Go wins the award for resembling being in a coma.
But there’s something about The Humanoid Woman, even when the title character isn’t onscreen, that makes me feel namelessly sad in an almost Lovecraftian sense. Maybe it was filmed in ugly colors made worse by decay of the film stock.
I’ll join the parade and throw my vote to HAMLET as well. Simply awful.
The Screaming Skull, just for it’s unrelentless drabby, long, conversations without emotions. And the Sci-Fi channel used to rerun this episode almost weekly. A close second is Hamlet, I cannot and will not watch that episode again.
Invasion of the Neptune Men is extremely difficult to watch all the way through Hitler building notwithstanding.
Subject is way too broad; movies that are NOT drab and dreary would narrow it down. But at the moment, I can’t think of one that isn’t dreary or drab in its own way.
“Tom Stewart killed me!”
Time for another by-season list.
1. Mad Monster – The ONLY episode that put me to sleep the first time I watched it.
2. Ring of Terror – Having a drab short after a drab movie made it seem even longer.
3. The Unearthly – Would be even worse if it didn’t have Tor.
4. Fire Maidens of Outer Space – “Cy Roth had to pad the film just to get to more padding!” -Crow (Not to mention all of its stolen music from “Stranger in Paradise” and one of Pucinni’s operas didn’t help.)
5. Radar Secret Service – I’m with Sampo on this one.
6. Invasion USA – Not because all of the characters “die,” but because they all fall for the same trap of “Giving up your liberties for security” that got us into the Iraq debacle.
7. Night of the Blood Beast – Even though I love this episode, it is indeed drab.
8. The She Creature – LANCER FULLER!!! *Shakes fist*
9. The Deadly Bees – Yes, it’s in color but the hateful characters and incredibly slow-moving plot (not to mention lack of any suspense or joy) drain all the life out of it.
10. Hamlet – “Don’t leave me with the Germans!”
Hamlet and Red Zone Cuba are both obvious choices, deservedly so. For me, though, Devil Doll sticks out. There is something so horribly grey and drab about that film, combined with a slew of gross characters. Vorelli with his gravelly, tuberculosis-like voice and gross beard, the carnie folk, accompanied by a supporting cast of morose, repressed old folks. The fact that a second-rate ventriloquist act is the highlight of their society life is as depressing as the movie’s lighting and color palette. When Robert-Denby guy is your liveliest character, you know you’re in for trouble. As with Coleman Francis’s films, I just get the feeling that there wasn’t much color for the camera to capture, even if it had that capability.
Also, I am prepared for an avalanche of mockery, but I actually kind of like Girl in Lover’s Lane. I think the Brains ‘almost’ agree with me, since they describe Carrie as the most likeable character they’d encountered. Sure the ending’s a huge downer, but there is a charm and innocence about that film that I enjoy.
I am floored that not one person has mentioned “The incredibly strange creatures who stopped living and became mixed-up zombies”. Really? Not only is the idea behind the movie incredibly depressing-a loser in love with a carnival stripper whose sister can’t get any so she kidnaps men and disfigures them-we have to watch the progress of something that the police should have been onto in the first ten minutes of the film. And I really don’t think that Ray Dennis Steckler starred in the film just for vanity. I think that everyone he approached for the part became too depressed to show up for the shoot after reading the script. And as for the “entertainers” I would rather watch Teamsters in spandex do the macarena than watch that without the riffing. The only part that wasn’t depressing that was probably supposed to be was when Steckler was gunned down in the end.
“The Creeping Terror,” “Monster-A-Go-Go” and “Red Zone Cuba.”
Dark, dreary and plotless.
My vote goes for High School Big Shot. Utterly wretched and depressing; the only virtue it has is the interactions between the liquor store owner and his safecracking brother-in-law. To quote Mike “I like this NEW movie better.” And to 118-Kitty Reed: Jack Frost is one that immediately pops to mind as NOT being drab or dreary.
A category for non-dreary MST films definitely makes for a much shorter list. Aside from Jack Frost, which has been mentioned, I think Catalina Caper, Agent for HARM and Diabolik are decidedly non-dreary. Stupid maybe, but all three are very bright and sunny. The music in both Catalina Caper and Diabolik is also very bright and bouncy (the latter in particular gets stuck in my head).
Hamlet. Hands down, bar none. So dreary that even the MST treatment rendered it only barely watchable. To this day, I love the host segments, but I’ll skip the film every time.
I would call Catalina Caper, Agent for HAARM and Diabolik unintentionally dreary, but dreary just the same. I hAte Catalina Caper and Diabolik sucks, too. I don’t think Boggy Creek 2 is dreary, though. Space Mutiny isn’t really dreary, though there is something kind of tragic about all bad movies.
One word: Hamlet.
High School Big Shot. Hands down.
Put me down for Hamlet. Like many others, it’s the one episode I just don’t think I can watch again.
#126 Castle Monster – Okay, you’re gonna have to unpack this one for me. I can buy Catalina Caper, but Diabolik? How is that one dreary? What about the psychedelic washing machine credits, the pop art cartoon composites, the grommeted bikini? Bumpin’ uglies on a pile of stolen moolah? What’s not to like (besides Terry-Thomas)?
…soundtrack by Morricone, too!!!
I don’t think “Hamlet” comes anywhere close to the drabness and dreariness of the gray, ’40s movies they did in the earlier years of the show. “Devil Doll” is far more drab and dreary than “Hamlet”, and it doesn’t begin to approach even the Coleman Francis films.
“The Incredibly Strange Creatures” isn’t drab at all. How is it possible to call a movie with “Schick out of Shape” drab? People are translating drab and dreary as “depressing”, but I don’t think they’re the same thing.
And I agree with Nicias that “The Girl in Lovers’ Lane” isn’t that bad a movie (despite the unsatisfying ending). It comes across like an average Route 66 episode, which isn’t that bad.
Diabolik kicks all sorts of arse and so does the Morricone soundtrack. It’s one of my favorites. Deep Down was (and still is) stuck in my head from the moment I heard it. :wink:
Yeah, I think we’re all operating under different definitions of “dreary.” I’m mainly going by cinematography, pacing, score and dialogue. Devil Doll and Red Zone Cuba meet the mark: grey/motionless, sluggish, hardly any music, and monotone dialogue.
Not to say that Catalina Caper and Diabolik are good movies, by any stretch, but they are brightly-shot, full of color, have fast-paced editing (Diabolik at least) and at least attempt punchy dialogue. It can easily be argued that because the upbeat nature is so forced, they end up being depressing anyway (to quote Crow: “frolicking has never been so depressing”). But at least they try (and maybe fail) to excite the senses. Films like Francis’ don’t even make the attempt; they seem to hold action and life in contempt.
Consider that all of these movies (Devil Doll, Red Zone Cuba, Catalina Caper, Diabolik, Agent for HARM) all came out in the same three-year perior (1964-1967, according to IMDB). Hollywood is one manic-depressive place.
#133 – The Professor –
For me, it’s the “He…” song from “Operation Double 007”, if only for the MANIC performance of the female vocalist. Sort of a musical equivilant to “chewing the scenery”.
Hey!…Has that ever been a discussion topic?….”Favorite Main Title Song or Theme Music”.
Red Zone Cuba, it’s not just drab and dull it’s mean-spirited and nasty as well.
I’d have to agree with “sebulbajohnny”–I have tried to watch Hamlet several times, just couldn’t do it! I don’t know if its the storyline, presentation or riffs, or if they are all just over my head! Looks like cheating my way through high school “English Classics” is finally coming back to haunt me!!
#135 rockyjones – I hear that. A lot of songs worm their way into your head, but that one pounds itself in like a jackhammer:
“HEEEEEEEEE tells MEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEE loves MEEEEE and I LOOK in his EYES and GIVE HIM MY LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVE!!!!!!!!”
Despite that, it’s one of my favorite songs from a MST film. I think they did the “favorite song” discussion a couple of months ago though. If I recall, that one and the “Badadda Dadda” song from Danger!Deathray were mentioned several times.
#138 Nicias – Yep…you’re right…..sorry, the old short-term memory ain’t what it used to be.
“HEEEE…likes to wear mittens!”
“HEEEE…’s got a deviated septum!”
“HEEEE…’s a big fan of Delta Buuuuurke!”
You are all invited over to my place tomorrow for a double feature of “Hamlet” and “Red Zone Cuba.”
In any event, I vote for “Hamlet” being the more dreary episode. As movies, they’re probably equally dreary and drab, but R.Z.C. has much better riffing.
The Incredible Melting Man.
#24 (Nicolletta): CF was suffering from clinical DRUNKEDNESS when he made this, as well as all, his movies.
#27 (MPSh): “The Touch of Satan” wins in the drab-yet-in-color-category. It has that 1970’s “Idyllic place that turns out to be Hell” quality, like early episodes of “Tales From The Darkside”.
#46 MikeK: “BOYF”– Mike, you’re right– the riffing in this one is superb, so that to this day I can watch this one without my brain hurting too badly (I love the riff about Tor–“Even his head has a beer belly”)
Unless I’ve missed a post, no one has mentioned “Sampson Vs the Vampire Women”, which combines drabness, dreariness, foginess, along with suckiness and a large bag of incomprehensibility. Perhaps that could be a future thread– not just the movies that are impossible to follow, but some discussion on what those movies were actually supposed to mean (and I mean that for real…) We don’t watch MST3K because it riffs groundbreaking films, after all. Of course, if that thread has already been used or suggested, disregard.
#137 BSBrian – It’s gotta be the writing that makes Hamlet so terrible. “Alas, poor Yorick?” What a load of crap, Shakespeare!
I have to put my vote in for Hamlet. I’ve disliked others, but still sat thru them when they first ran. Hamlet is the only MST3k I stopped watching on it’s initial airing and didn’t go back to it for years. Awful! And this from someone who’s sat thru Neptune Men and Mighty Jack multiple times! That’s pain vs torture!
I’ll take Castle of Fu Manchu at 1, with Skydivers at 1B.
“They should set a place for Eraserhead.”
Also, I’d like to vote also for a best MST movie thread. I might try to make a case for Overdrawn at the Memory Bank…
I agree with OatMB. Despite general condemnation of it i think it was an interesting concept, and PPTV was classic.
Also, having just watched the dvd of Racket Girls, that film, I now think, underpasses other nominees as the dreariest mst3000 movie. It even makes girls wrestling boring and unsexy. And the movie seems to suck the soul out of riffing efforts.
“Space Children” was so dreary it made me feel lonely and depressed.
Here’s a suggestion for keeping this real.
Anyone who does NOT submit Ring of Terror as the unbeatable all-time number one must provide a notarized statement that they’ve actually WATCHED Ring of Terror from start to finish. One of three movies ever I had to watch in three pieces (the others, of course, being “Chairman of the Board” and “The Misery Brothers).
1.Hamlet 2.The Atomic Brain 3.The Girl in Lovers Lane; I feel as though i’ve drunk a gallon of brain bleach.I need Chambraine.