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Weekend Discussion Thread: Riffs You Use in Daily ConversationThis week marks the first suggestion for a weekend discussion thread that I got via twitter. (And, as always, discussion thread suggestions are welcome.)
Alert reader Wes Hanks wrote:
One we use around our house is “Well! Let’s not do THAT again!” (when something bad happens). What about you? 180 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Riffs You Use in Daily Conversation”Commenting at Satellite News
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“I like it very much.”
“Watch out for snakes.”
“I’m weird and it results in creativity.”
“SLEEEEP!”
“Time for go to bed.”
“Weird. Yeah, that’s what it is…Weird.”
“Kitty!”
“Die, that’s what this coffee tastes like, DYE!” (Not really a riff)
“Have you guys seen my chicken puppet?” (Not a riff, but I DO have a chicken puppet.)
“I’m your boyfriend now. lllalalalalala”
If we are watching a history channel show with a guy named Klein my husband and I will burst out in unison “Klein!”
Instant cackles every time we use it:
“I’ve beeeen een the bell tower all morningk!” from the General Hospital short.
Also, my sister-in-law’s fave:
“You guys is juurrks!” from Warwilf.
Also, Crow’s surprised “we DIDN’T??!” from Eegah. That can get used almost endlessly with chuckles every time.
Let’s see…
I’ve been known to sing “Normal view… Normal view… NORMAL VIEEEWWWW!” at odd times.
My wife is undoubtedly tired of hearing me say “but now, SLEEEP!” when I’m putting my computer to sleep.
“I’m going to curl up in his sock drawer, and sleep for days!”
Anything said in a Torgo voice.
“I farted.” (yeah, a lot of mine come from MST3K The Movie)
“What’s this? Dewlap Man following our heroes?”
I’m sure there’s more, but it’s 2:00 AM so it’s “Time for go to bed!”
Also, very appropriately for my husband and I:
“It’s weird, but I’m into weird.”
Not really a riff but I use Joel’s saying “Oh, I don’t know about that” in response to a bad idea by the bots. It’s usually how I answer my daughter’s requests.
“Don’t just do something, stand there!” from Women of the Prehistoric Planet comes up often.
Probably the one that gets the most use though is varieties of “____ the HELL out of it”. Usually when the first blank is a verb that really doesn’t make much sense. It’s just so… handy.
I use most of these — it’s so nice to see others share my little sickness!
Some that haven’t been mentioned:
It’s fun when there are things!
Niceness is fun!
What? It’s fun!
Remember in Gamera vs Guiron when space Gyaos accidentally shoots off his own leg? Crow then says, “That’ll happen.” I tend to use that one anytime something unexpected happens.
When my brother and sister and I play video games, and one of us is about to best the other we have a tendency to say “You’re gonna be the worm-face now!”
And finally, whenever I am offended by a movie I use “I am gonna slap this movie so hard.”
But like a lot of others have mentioned, normal conversation will often spark memories of any number of riffs that are appropriate for the given situation. Its more like a reflex action.
Whoops! Thought of another.
Any time I like to confuse people just for the heck of it, I’ll say “Cats can’t resist the cosmic treat!”
Of course whenever ham is served, “If you think you like ham …” (Devil Doll)
At restaurants when wait-staff gather to serenade a birthday boy/girl, we murmur the funereal dirge version from “Squirm”
In my classes, when a student is staring blankly into space, I will ask, “Do you need a push?” (Screaming Skull)
And naturally when anything is absolutely fascinating …
If I’m watching TV or a movie, and two characters hook up, I’ll let loose with a “Saaaayyy!”
At any time, when something confusing happens, I’ll exclaim, “The hell?”
I’ll yell “I regret nothing!” when a spectacular death happens in a movie or video game.
When my nephew was a baby, and he wouldn’t take a nap, I tried “Sleep!” on him a couple of times. Didn’t work.
“Their screams will be muffled by a throatful of their own blood,” “If my demands are not met the screams of those who have wronged me and the smell of burning flesh will fill the…” and “Kitties!” get used a lot on my planet.
And one to use during a bad movie:
“Movie. Can I see your supervisor!”
I use a couple so often, I never stop to think about whether anyone knows where they come from.
“I like it very much!” on virtually any occasion.
When things don’t go as planned, I often say “who am I kidding? I can’t build a cat.” from Pumaman.
And I have used the “Normal View” riff in mixed company.
One that I have since stopped was “Weeniemobile away!” as my then girlfriend slapped me very hard for saying it too often (rightly so)
“Food! Eating! The theater!” from ‘Pod People.’
Occasionally if someone talking to me goes on a little too long, I’ll yell “Sum Up!”
Okay … I was wrong … this MST3Kinfo question-of-the-week was a smashing success (although … I never felt the impulse to quote MST3K lines in conversation … ) … may I have a ‘Favorite Ad-Lib (With list of known ad-libs … )
?
My whole family use these often:
“This is where the fish lives”
“I regret nothing!” – whenever my dog jumps from the bed.
“Where’s my gun?” – whenever we look for anything.
“Join us, won’t we?”
“It’s fun!!”
and always…”Quick! Get the baking soda!”
Our favorites:
We’re a danger to ourselves and others, our cousins are as close as brothers… (my boss likes to play with butane torches a lot – and he’s from West Virginia)
SLEEP!
Pants! Sing the praises of pants!
Waffles!
Plenty of lip and tongue action
You’re rich and white, I don’t see a problem.
My favorite riff to use is the sarcastic “Oh, MAY I?”
* “Push the button, Frank!”, especially when it’s time to turn off the TV.
* “Normal View… Normal View!”.
* “Chunk Manmusk”, etc.
* “Rowsdower!”
* “This is where the fish lives” at odd times.
* My brother-in-law lives near the town of Osseo, MN. Every time we go by the Osseo sign on the way there, I talk about opening up a hot fish shop.
An underappreciated Joel line: “If you’re like me, and I know I am…” and “…the Hell?!!?”
When a scene in a movie suddenly switches to people dancing, I’ll usually say “Meanwhile, in pre-revolution Havana”.
Also, I call my dog “the little creature” all the time.
Whenever my wife is bending over when I enter the room I always use Josh’s “Oh, I’d hate to shoot a butt like that”
Whenever somebody drives like an idiot, I say, “Sign? What sign? Curve? What curve?” Or “Just take you part of the road out of the middle.”
And whenever I’m watching TV and people are in a plane, I have to say, “Your in-flight movie is ‘Fearless'”!
Otherwise I say: ‘Never go to the city, it’s dirty.’ ‘…paid assassin cruising through town,’ ‘If you’re like me, and I know I am,” and of course, “…The HELL?”
Also, when watching a black and white movie: “Filmed in Despair Vision!”
It is SO intertwined in the language of the lives of my wife and I that it is damn near impossible to identify them all. They are not all riffs, though. Many are lines from skits or lines from the movies that the guys dwell on.
“PANTS! PANTS! SING THE PRAISES OF PANTS!” Nearly daily since we had a kid.
“Doughy guys!” – Frequently.
“Tell me about some other times you were a load.” is damn near daily in our house.
“Want some?” isn’t a riff per se, but does get used a lot.
“The high school AFTER high school.”
“ACK-TORS WHO CAN READ LINES.”
“Why don’t they look?” VERY common too since we live on a light rail line.
“He learned too late that man was a feeling creature…”
“Where’s my mock duck?”
It goes on and on. It’s crazy how much it gets used around here. My poor daughter. She’ll forever wonder what they HELL we are talking about if we don’t inundate her early on with MST3K.
More:
“I’m the wind baby, nobody gets me.”
“Flag on the moon. – Often used when someone non-sequitors in our household.
“A good wire rack!”
In response to “Watch out for falling rocks”:
“Man, I’m coooonstantly confuuuused….”. Works in ANY situation.
I’m always using the ‘Note to self’ line in situations where I’ve done something wrong or stupid, which is quite often. Example: Note to self, turn on oven before cooking. ‘I want to decide who lives and who dies’ and ‘I’m the GOD! I’m the GOD!’ are my other favorites.
“SLEEP!”
“Rowsdower, bowsdower..”
“Potatoes are what we eat”
“Uh–may I suggest a rake?”
As a teacher I can get away with “Join us, won’t we?” and variations a lot, as well as variations on Frank’s/Crow’s “you kids today with your big pants…”. Sometimes Joel’s “Oh, sure that makes a lot of WHUUUH?” works well, too.
My wife uses riffs a lot with her Discworld MUDD characters.
Not a riff, but “Oh, sure I was vacuuming prairie-dogs” gets used when I’m accused of doing something strange.
“Seems like a nice enough XX, AT FIRST”
I’m still waiting for someone to ask me “where are the ray guns?” and I’ll quickly answer, “you mean Ron and Nancy?”
“Crow, I don’t get you”
In my best Crow voice “Pretty Much”
Whenever seeing something move quickly in a physically disconcerting way I’ll again imitate Crow and make those noses like I’m fighting back the urge to vomit.
“And the crowd goes wild” from the short about the Jr. Rodeo.
“Let me on the Information Superhighway!”
“Nope, but thanks for askin!” whenever someone asks something I have little interest in doing.
“Hello der!”
Hey there little weird guy” (not every day of course)
Around my house you’re likely to hear…
The HELL???
Poopie!
Oh, MAY I?
(random things) are back! (based on “flying elves are back)
it’s fun!
Die, Die, DIE!!! I mean, hello….
I like pie!
Kitty! (this upsets my grandmother who insists that when I say this to her cat it scares it)
Oh, honey!
Man, there are probably tons more I’m forgetting. But we really do pepper our household conversations with MSTie-isms.
“The hell?” is a frequent one, although I have shouted “I’m the god! I’M THE GOD!” in a business meeting. Seriously.
“The Hell!?!?”
“Kitty!”
“Oh Mittens, have you been eating gerbils?” from Pod People (great since we acquired a rambunctious cat)
“Bulk Vanderhuge.” etc. from Space Mutiny
The ‘Pants’ song from Hercules Against The Moon Men
“That’ll happen.”
“I don’t get you.”
“But he sold the car !”
Ah, another perfect thread I can just jump on.
“I thought you were Dale” gets a lot of use at work since I do have a co-worker named Dale.
“DO SOMETHING!” @ my slower-than-molasses dial-up connection at home quite often.
My sister-in-law loves all-things potato, so naturally both of us use “Potatoes are what we eat!” at every opportunity.
“Your weapons are useless against me,” with every video game victory.
“This is ahbsoluhtly fahscinating…” when dealing with one of my dad’s endless updates of his personal projects.
Nearly any riff that deals with Archie comics as I still have a large collection of ’em.
Teasing my fiancee by talking to Cabot, my invisible friend.
Have a friend named Hunter who earned the nickname Oss(sp) after Mike’s “So is Hunter your real name?” in Outlaw of Gor.
The immortal, “Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?” whenever I see a game on TV.
“Hi-keeba!” when playing a fighting game.
“Flag on the moon. How’d it get there?” during the occasional random musing.
“Hey! It looks like Cher!” @ any vampire movie, especially Twilight.
And so many more…
Some of my favorite lines come from the MST3K movie.
Whenever I’m driving around and am not sure where I’m going it’s always “I am so lost!”
Also, “There I’m done, what do you think?”
“We did it and you know it!” is a great line for my girlfriend. She cracks up everytime.
“Whoopty-****” is one of my personal favorites for something unexciting.
When someone picks up something odd it’s “You’re holding a mutand turd.”
And, it’s great to ruin a perfect close moment with my girlfriend by saying, “This is where my tongue lives.” From Touch of Satan.
One final one from Touch of Satan is I’ll ask someone if that’s there car and when they say yes i’ll follow it with “Mind if I skip rocks across it?”
So many more too.
My sister and I use several:
“Relax, I know what I’m doing,” from Track of the Moon Beast where the guy tries to kill himself by jumping out of a gondola.
&
“170. Is that a problem?” from Riding With Death. We use both of those whenever something odd or unfortunate happens.
Where I work it seems someone is always taking medicine for something, so I’ve seem to be saying daily “Pills! Pills! Where are the pills!’ from the short on Night of the Blood Beast.
I use riffs all the time, but sadly no one else I know watches the show anything like I do, so most of my statements don’t register. I’ve learned to live with it and just keep entertaining myself.
“What?!?! It’s Fun?!?!”
I guess classics riffs hits the mainstream everyday conservations; When lifting something heavy, “Hykeeba” come out loud; When my dog looks at me funny. “Snasauages (in the bad Joel doing bad Lassie voice)”
While watching the NRL, “Split Chesthair”, “Buff Drinklots” and “Dirk Hardpec” comes to mind and of course, “PACKERS!!!, WHOOO!”
Potatoes are what we eat!
I say “Gamera is friend to all children” almost nonstop…
…and it’s not a riff, but I find myself saying Frank’s “a-YUK-a-YEEEE!” a LOT.
Oh, and “I hate to shoot a butt like that”
Whenever someone at work touches me, I *always* say, “Bad Touch!!!!” Long live Mr. B Natural!!
When I greet someone named Joe: “Hey Joe, whatta you know?”
More than else, I use Trace’s sarcastic “Oh, Really???” and his response to anyone being pretentious (the pretentiously-voiced, “Oh, Mr. Connections!” or something similar.
I also use Joel’s (I believe it’s a Jonny Carson impersonation) “Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm, that’s good (object)” a lot.
So, so many……
I, too, have a MST3K fan as a boss and we are fond of annoying everyone else (who are invariably thinking “…the hell?”) with extended “A Case of Spring Fever” riffs.
“Gee, Coily, I wish these TPS reports would disappear”
“You got your wish! No TPS reports!”, etc.
Boy, do we get a bad case of the sillies.