The oft-reliable Sue brings in another good one:
If MSTed movie characters tweeted. May I offer up:
The dog’s meat, have you seen it? #WorstMarriageEver
Ebzolootly fessinating. #Wahrwilf
My first thought:
He’ll never touch you, Terri, you’re dirt. #skank
Have at it!
For Castleton! #castletonsnob
There is no God, there’s just Dude! #zepisneverwrong
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RUBBERBAND? #boing #wereallgoingtodie #imnotreadyformarriage
Rex Dart! #eskimospy
Tore my suit. Losing air. Adrift. OOPS! #JimPruitt
Agar keeps zapping me. What a jerk! #GillMan
Today is dedicated to Uranus! #uranusday
@SHUTUPIRIS
Here’s two bucks cause that’s al yer worth!
#ChairmanoftheBoard
@RogerCorman
Your movies suck!
#BIG
Cabot? Cabot? Cabot! Cabot? Cabot!#Cabot
@I couldn’t let Ken kill Ken
#Ken
@ator: Decided to DIY Hang Glide to raid enemy castle. @Thongmeister #YOLO
@MrBNAtural: Oh great. Nature’s calling and I don’t know which restroom I need to use #HermaphroditeProblems
@WandaSak: Why does everyone keep calling me big boned. I don’t have a weight problem. #ModelSkinny #StupidAtlantis
Knew your father I did! #boyorgirl
What is tweet?
who wants to ride the rocket? #winky
Cabot. #cabot
Cabot? #cabot
Cabot! #cabot
Cabot, #cabot
Cabot. #cabot
Cabot?! #cabot
Cabot. #cabot
Cabot? #cabot
Cabooooot!! #cabot
A rotting corpse is on the grass. #DiggerSmolkensingsPinkFloyd
All in all you’re just another corpse in the ground. #DiggerSmolkensingsPinkFloyd
@Johnny – I don’t care! #offtomeetmydoom
@ArchHallJr: My tires are filled with water! #WHEE
@ArchHallJr: @RoxyMiller I love you, Vicki.
@Makonnen: Every year of my life, I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful, if you just take the time to look at it. #longwindedsayings
@RoxyMiller
AND JUST WHO IS VICKI!?@ArchHallJr #shavingdad
@Boy I’m stupid. Sometimes I forget how stupid I am
#Stupidcrooner
@I KILLED THAT FAT BAR KEEP!!
#Moonyou
@I thought you picked up the laser!?
#Buttpodturtle
@There’s an angry black man on line one
#messagefromVenus
@My plan to sabotage an airplane I’ll be flying on is going perfectly
#Detergentinthehydralics
@The nose wheel feels mushy
#Myfamilyhasbeenkidnapped
@Dad’s dead and everone’s making jokes
#Itsnotfunny
@Buried alive in a cave with my idiot boyfriend and a giant spider
#Didnttheyseeourcar
@You’re weird
#Whichresultsincreativity
Let’s form a soccer team and eat each other
#Justcrashed
@When Lembach sees my experiment work I’ll have all the funding I need and everything will work out fine
#Drorangehair
@My face got turned inside out and I kill everthing I touch now
#Thatcouldhavegonebetter
@Panicked and killed people. Again. Got to try to stop doing that
#DarkmanandJohnMerrickwillunderstand
@Electrocution?
#YousaidIcouldbegassed
@You blame my bottomless stupidity for everything
#Ididntmeantokillthemplanetsneither
@Vorelli: I really could go for a piece of ham. #hungry
@SheriffAlanHale: What’s that? Retweet what you say to provide exposition?
@You don’t say
#Hedidntsay
@Everyone dead. Continent sinking
#CrapIdidntknowitwouldbethatbad
@I can’t understand a thing my new student says. Maybe he doesn’t speak English.
#Masterninja
@Wuhbba ibs dah kwestun?
#Wannabeninja
@I will kill both of you flaccid traitors.
#Onlyrealninjaontheset
@Just ran over a guy
#SisterMaryVehicularhomocide
@Has anyone got a soul they’re not using?
#Soultakerdude
@Ralphs Do you guys sell baby oil and extra rich sour cream??
#Mitchellgotthenightoff
My mom invented Twitter. #IAccuseMyParents
Time for some CARNATION ICE CREAM #amazing grace
Killing doesn’t help any more #SendMidol
@LeechWoman: You are the one in my dreams of blood #Mala
Now I ram my ovipositor down your throat. #NotAnAlien
My Job. My Way. #SmugDimples #Toupee
@RobotMonkey: “GIT YO TICKETS HEE-YAH! GIT YO TICKETS HEE-YAH!”
@Now we can kill game in peace and quiet
#Alwayskillpeacefullyandquietly
Don’t these people ever floss? #savages
On adventure like Sinbad #haminfridge
Want some? #IWantAnswers
@I’m a woman. I’m also a captive. Don’t bother trying to help. I’ll just get taken captive again. It’s kinda my thing.
#Captivated
@Is it because I panic while making sandwiches?
#Idontgetyou
@Miss Kitty Lee I’m happy in my work. Are you?#IAMP