Just a few days ago, I was minding my own business watching Overdrawn at the Memory Bank when the scene came on with Apollonia reprimanding Fingal for spending – what, several days? – “making love” with Felicia. Raul Julia turns on the smolder in that scene, and suddenly I found myself sitting up and thinking, “Why, HELLO, Mr. Julia. How YOU doin’?” I was sort of both amused and disgusted with myself. I mean, it IS a young Raul Julia we’re talking about here, but, on the other hand, it’s Raul Julia in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, so…
So my question is, what’s your most embarrassing crush on an actor/actress in an MST movie? I feel like Raul Julia isn’t TOO embarrassing, actually, so I’ll also submit the floppy-haired indeterminately European Paul from “Werewolf.” I should know better, I really should, but the heart (or whatever it is) wants what the heart wants.
No question: Mary Beth Hughes, especially in “Last of the Wild Horses.” She can saddle me up anytime.
How about you? Oh, and keep it PG-13, okay?
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Embarrassing crushes? Can’t help you there.
I could never be ashamed of loving Mara Corday, only her crap-ass movies (The Black Scorpion, The Giant Claw, Tarantula). Likewise Gloria Talbott (The Leech Woman, I Married a Monster from Outer Space, The Cyclops).
She was never in MST3K but I had a mad crush on Tsuruko Kobayashi from the Americanized version of Varan the Unbelievable, Cry for Happy and Tarzan’s Three Challenges. (She actually has two IMDb entries, because she shortened her screen name to ‘Tsu Kobayashi’ in the middle of her short-lived career and apparently I’m the only person who gives a damn.)
There was definitely a certain sweetness about him – I’ll give you that one! There’s something about him that just makes me wanna bake something for him, like cookies or a ham… (though I suspect he’d rather have some soup).
Even though I don’t know the character’s name–or the actress’ name, come to think of it–the brunette Batgirl who gets drugged by, and develops a major love-hate relationship with, Tiger in WWWOB. Why so embarrassing? Because it’s “The Wild, Wild World Of Batwoman”. There should be no redeeming qualities about that movie!
Sorry to those who would’ve expected someone with my username to pick Appollonia James, or Felicia, or Daisy.
Lee Van Cleef from It Conquered the World. He was kinda cute in his pre-spaghetti western days.
Finally an outlet for my perverse Patricia “Squirm” Percy preoccupation. I like redheads, skinny with china white skin (yes Vivian Schilling also works for me.) Interested enough to look her up now and saw a current picture. Still quite beautiful.
Well embarrassing? How about Tracey from Pod People? She could have belonged to anyone- Body and soul? I would have watched Dallas reruns while dressing in a Ranger’s uniform for her pleasure.
#104
So you’re saying Lee Van Cleef wasn’t exactly svelte in Master Ninja I and II? I mean he surely did all his own
stunts—getting into and out of the van, laying down on the floor of hotels, and, ah…
Valeria from “Robot Holocaust,” even despite her unusual voice.
The wrestling gals from the Jack Ruby nightclub in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.
They look like a fun-loving and accommodating pair, although the ensuing urological check-up would be the truly embarrassing part.
Augh. RedZoneTuba is exactly right. My Leigh Drake fixation is not only not embarrassing, but I will defend the honor of this Wamsutta-wrapped maiden to the death. Woot.
So, “embarrassing”? Well, I understand that Diane Adelson from Manos went on to be a successful model in Europe. So that’s not embarrassing. What’s embarrassing is my admittedly creepy desire for a toga party with any two of the middle-aged suburban Texas housewives in Manos’ wifepack. OMG. The powerful perfume of spilled Margaritas and Alberto VO5 lingered for days…
ck, even Joel pointed out that Master Ninja Van Cleef looks like a Henson rat.
Also, Col. Yerulin (we’re number one!) from Fugitive Alien is kinda hot in that hot older man way.
As a straight dude I’m not the best judge, but when you look at the restored print of Manos, it’s pretty clear that John Reynolds was a fairly handsome fella. If Hal Warren’d had any sense he’d have played Torgo himself and made John the young father.
Of course, if Hal had had any sense, Manos would never have been made.
Oh, the flashing grin, the curly hair, the hearty laugh – take me toblerone. sweep me up in your arms and carry me to your parachute bedraped den.
Also, not guilty – has anyone else noticed how beautifully muscled and chiseled the game warden in Giant Leeches is? sawoon! and since our LGB brothers and sisters tell me we’re all on a spectrum…. my girl crush would be Peaches. My husband has a thing for the girl in touch of satan ZAA!
I have decided to remain anonymous with this one…
The Puma Man- I know. But have you seen Walter Alton in Ten? His scene in the pool? Shirtless? Growr….
Toblerone- because who wouldn’t?
Ross Hagen- Come on. He’s hot.
Ben Murphy- Also hot.
Trace Beaulieu
The main guy from Horror At Party Beach. He looked good shirtless. Too bad his girlfriend was dubbed.
The main guy from Devil Fish. He looked good shirtless too.
Now you see why I remained anonymous. The shame.
Sitting through “Giant Spider Invasion” right now. As disgusting as his character is, this movie would not be watchable without the screen presence of Robert Easton.
I was actually happy to see him again in “The Touch of Satan”
It breaks my heart that Reynolds committed suicide, one wonders what might have been if he had lived.
I’ll take a cursed Walnut farmer any day of the week.
I am a man who typically likes to be in a steady relationship, so I am conflicted about being attracted to Linda from “Wild Rebels”. She’s only in it for the kicks, baby, the kicks!
Mentioning “Fugitive Alien” reminded me about the slight but embarrassing crush I have on chipmunk-cheeked boozy Captain Joe. “YOU’RE STUCK HERE!!!!!”
Oily drifter Bix Dugan (a.k.a. Big Stupid) from THE GIRL IN LOVERS LANE (EPISODE 509). He could rescue me from a heterosexual experience any day.
Ummmm. Troy McGreggor. And Kyle of the pink shorts from Hobgoblins.
…what?
Oh, and also Leondard Driscoll (William Sylvester) from RIDING WITH DEATH (EPISODE 814). While Ben Murphy was clearly the Ben Murphyest and Abby was indeed “some gal”, William Sylvester retained his “2001: A Space Odyssey” hotness. I bet he’s as filthy as his damn dirty glasses.
I always had a soft spot for the 50’s ‘dad body’ so I always had a crush on John Agar. It became embarrassing during “Revenge of the Creature’ when he put on the swimsuit that fit him in Jr. High.
What about Mike Pipper? Pretty hot for a grizzled old prospector-type guy.
Though I’m quite ashamed to admit it, that lady who says “Warwilf” and “absolutely fascinating” in “Werewolf” is the object of a bit of a crush of mine, despite how utterly ditzy she appears in that film.
Another, though less shameful one, is Allison “50 Foot Woman” Hayes, from “Gunslinger.” Rawr.
Hey, that brings to mind Leslie Parrish. Although a bit worse-for-wear in this particular film, I find her quite attractive – AND she was in an episode of Star Trek: TOS!
While I have crushes on a handful of MST actresses, the one I’d most considered myself “embarrassed” by is Cisse Cameron, Lea from Space Mutiny, even though I’m not that embarrassed, I just expect to get a little ribbing on my choice. Most of the reason is that I had seen her in other films before seeing her in Space Mutiny and thought she was was very attractive. Then they have her in Space Mutiny and she’s wearing a skintight leotard that emphasizes her ample bosom and great figure and then they have her dance and use a hula hoop… I think the biggest issue in that movie that makes her look older is the poor makeup choice and the bad ’80s hair made her look older than she was. I’ve seen recent pictures of her and she’s still very attractive.
I have often found myself attracted to the ladies in mst3k’d movies. So, a short list.
I have always professed my undying love for Allison Hayes. I’d love her even if she were 50 ft. tall!
Honorable mention to Bonnie Pritchard in Time Chasers, Emby Mellay in The Touch of Satan, and the way too southern Patricia Pearcy in Squirm.
And, oddly, to the squishy daughter in Young Man’s Fancy.
Btw, another great topic!
I couldn’t agree with you more! (forgot about Schilling, who is still writing. And still quite hot)!
Cleolanta, Suzerain of Ophecius. I’d beat up Rocky Jones to woo her.
Trash from Escape 2000
Zach from Soultaker
Shawn Levy throwing spaghetti in Zombie Nightmare
and Cheesesteak from Colossus and the Headhunters
More important to the topic at hand, Leslie Parrish played Daisy Mae in the 1959 L’il Abner movie – challenging Julie Newmar for the title of most beautiful lady in the film (okay, Leslie can’t beat Julie in her prime, but we’ll still dream of her). Not an embarrassment by any means.
Plus she was in The Manchurian Candidate wearing a Queen of Diamonds costume. Rowl!
I can’t believe there is no er ‘love’ for Terry from Teen-Age Crime Wave.
She has the whole bad girl Pat Benatar thing going on…
Put me down for the granddaughter in Teenagers from Outer Space. Girl next door, plus an amazing body!
Vi from Tormented,
of course Mamie Van Doren, Beverly Garland, Yvette Vickers and Allison Hayes.
hey, waitaminute, I’m not embarrassed by any of this.
I’ve always found Bridget Jones to be cute. Mike Nelson is a lucky man.
I list her in my first post. I love her haircut. Far more attractive than the “good girl”.
Maybe it’s because I’m into dudes, but I definitely have a thing for domineering women and Cleolanta fits that bill rather nicely.
Also Queen Samara from “Herc v The Moon Men”, Queen Laura(Lara?) from “Outlaw”… and of course ALLISON HAYES
As for other leading ladies, I’ve always been fond of Peggy Castle, who was Audrey Ames in “Beginning of the End”(alongside hunkalicious Peter Graves) and was also in “Invasion USA”.
Salome Jens aka “Terror From The Year 5000”. I would’ve gone to the future with her, even if she really did look like Big Ethel.
If I may go off topic for a moment the actress who plays Cleolanta(Patsy Parsons) reminds me of Denise Crosby of TNG fame. I was a big fan of Tasha Yar back in the day(again even as a kid I liked strong women) and maybe that played a factor into why I liked her character. Something about her face and the way she carries herself.
Or Ambassador Phantom of Krankor and his unfortunate bulge?
Late to the party on this one, by I’ll second (or third or fourth) Cleolanta and Vena from Manhunt/Crash. They’re obviously gorgeous so that’s not the embarrassing part, but it’s just that those movies/serials are so wholesome and innocent that having naughty thoughts seems very inappropriate.
I am also late to the party, but I have to share this one: I always thought Big Stupid from Girl in Lover’s Lane was really good-looking. The embarrassing part is that I was watching that particular episode with my mother, and while we’re watching it, she suddenly says, “He looks like my dad.”
Now, I never knew my maternal grandfather (neither did my mother, actually, she was judging from pictures she had), but still. *shudder*
Or Ambassador Phantom of Krankor and his unfortunate bulge?
Tia Carrera in Zombie Nightmare.
Barbara Hale in The Giant Spider Invasion.
Cathy/Kathy in Track of the Moon Beast.
Tina in Horror at Party Beach.
Helen in The Brute Man.
Abby in Riding w/ Death.
Lucy Bra Less in Boggy Creek Creature.
Babs from Horror of Spider Island or the Full Back for the Lions.
I know other actresses were far more bodacious — Mamie Van Doren, Ann Margret — but I always thought that Betty in Teenagers From Outer Space was absolutely adorable. I liked that she had that really dark black art-school punk chick haircut long before it was cool.
I don’t think anyone has mentioned her yet, maybe because it’s not too embarrassing, but her Gumby outfit certainly was so this totally counts. I say Catherine Schell from Moon Zero Two. And she had embarrassing side burns in Space: 1999 but man, she was very crushable!
Would it be embarrassing to say I look forward to watching Final Justice? But only because of the lady Policeman who escorts JDB on Malta. She sticks up for him because he is right and she’s a good cop, not because she’s into him. And she looks good in the leather mini skirt on the boat.
Sorry, but Mamie Van Doren just doesn’t do much for me. Elinor Donahue was way hotter in Girls Town.
And Emby Mellay big time. That stewardess outfit…
My embarrassing crushes include Agata Flori, the Joan Jett lookalike from Operation Double 007; Sylvia Lopez (Queen Omphale) from Hercules Unchained; Angelika Jäger (Valeria); and Cleolanta. Also the squishy Judy from A Young Man’s Fancy, the troubled girl from Thing That Couldn’t Die, and Sharyn Kinzie (Sheila) from The Hellcats.
Dunja Movar, babbling incoherently and handing out weeds as Ophelia in HAMLET. She was mad hot.