Movie: (1987) A hero returns to the primitive planet Gor, and is soon caught up in palace intrigue involving an evil sorcerer.
First shown: 12/11/93
Opening: M&tB are roughhousing, and it doesn’t go well for Tom
Invention exchange: The Mads present their “really real” time machine, while M&tB show off their Fabio kit
Host segment 1: The bots find Mike’s theater scrapbook, and the photos all have something in common
Host segment 2: M&tB sing: “Tubular Boobular Joy”
Host segment 3: M&tB read relevant passages from “Palance on Palance”
End: Cambot puts together a compilation of buffalo shots!, while the Mads dance through the years
Stinger: “Get out of here, you disGUSting WOORRRRRM!”
• I love-love-LOVE this episode. Great riffing, great segments, seriously wacky but very watchable movie. It’s also a great gateway episode for newbies. For a while it was my all-time favorite Mike episode.
• This episode was the one that was submitted to the Peabody Award people, and won them the award.
• This episode was released as a part of Shout’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Vol. XXX.
• It’s hard to imagine Joel “roughhousing” with the bots the way Mike does here. Maybe that’s the point.
• Slightly irritating thing in the Mads’ invention exchange: the little signs say “60’s” and “50’s” and “40’s.” Those apostrophes are grammatically incorrect.
• Remember when Fabio mattered? Neither do I. Best line: “Even Janis Ian kneels at his altar.”
• Gypsy singing “I sing whenever I sing…” is the first of a boatload of callbacks in this episode. Others include: o/` “Harry Alan Towerrrrrs!” o/` (Fu Manchu), “Mah-mah-mah-mah-Mitchell (Mitchell), “They’re on the ‘Moon Zero Two’ set!” “Watch out for snakes!” (Eegah), a reference to the Warrior of the Lost World set, “Sampo…Sampo…” and “Want some?” “Thanks Daddy O.”
• Note that when Dr. F is in his caveman outfit, his Deep 13 patch is attached to his skin.
• Servo says, in a stupid voice, “Can we listen to Z-Rock?” I assume this is a local Minneapolis reference?
• Anybody ever play that Cabot drinking game? Did you live through it?
• I’ve eaten at the Perkins on 494.
• Non-spaghetti-ball bumpers: pan to beaker, pan to notebook, close up on film canister, focus on blackboard as what looks like beach ball goes by.
• The debut showing of this episode took place during one of those theme weekends Comedy Central used to have. This one was called “Radio Active TV” and they got radio DJs from around the country to do little bumper bits. For this episode, the DJs were Dave Rickards and Cookie “Chainsaw” Randolph from a station in San Diego. (In a past go-round, I noted that, “astonishingly for an industry where a run of a year or two on any one station is amazing, those two are STILL doing the morning show there 15 years later.” Since I posted that, they were abruptly — or, more accurately, typically, since all radio firings are abrupt — fired. Fans complained, the station held firm. They were out of work for a few months, then they got hired at a competing station in San Diego, where, amazingly, they STILL are.) For some reason, also present in the bits was actor Marc Price, who played Skippy in the ’80s sitcom “Family Ties.” His presence was never explained. And, for some reason, Rickards and Randolph were under the impression that the movie being watched was the Howard Hughes classic film, “Outlaw.” It made them seem pretty clueless.
• Segment 1 is probably the least funny, but even that one is very clever. Mike does look good in a sailor suit.
• First Firesign Theatre reference in a while: “Don’t crush that dwarf! Hand me the pliers!” Maybe Joel was the main Firesign guy?
• Everybody gets to do their Palance impressions to death. Hope their throats were okay at the end of the day.
• Segment 2 was an instant classic, also sung on the live show at the first convention in 1994. The first time I heard the phrase “hung like a horsical” I did a beer spit-take.
• What song are Crow and Tom singing during the scene where the slavers are chasing the slaves around? They don’t seem to know the words.
• M&tB suspect that’s Italy at the end. Actually, despite a mostly Italian film crew, a lot of this was shot in South Africa. That could be Johannesburg.
• The USA Network movie sketch, hard on the heels of the womany movie sketch a couple of episodes ago, means another great credit sequence.
• This ep marks the third mention of Chris Lemmon in three episodes! Somebody really didn’t like him!
• Terrific editing of the buffalo shot compendium. Cambot gets the credit but I assume it was really Brad Keeley.
• Somebody named Kristin Land choreographed the dance number at the end. Great stuff.
• “Kathy Lee had her baby.” They’re referring to the birth of KLG’s second child, Cassidy Erin, who’s now an aspiring actress in her 20s.
• Cast and crew roundup: Producer Avi Lerner was the executive producer of “Alien From L.A.” Producer/screenwriter Harry Alan Towers, of course, also produced “Castle of Fu Manchu” and “Million Eyes of Su-Muru.” Makeup lady Debbi Nichol also worked on “Space Mutiny,” as did art director Geoffrey Hill. In front of the camera Russel Savadier was also in “Alien from L.A.” and, of course, Jack Palance was also in “Angels’ Revenge.”
• CreditsWatch: Crist Ballast takes over hair and makeup for the next three episodes. Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. “Tubular Boobular Joy” written and arranged by Michael J. Nelson and Kevin Murphy.
• Fave riff: “You see, freedom is–what the–P-P-PLEASURE???!!!” Honorable mention: “I brought the wrong bowl.” Also: “Please invent the battery!”
Sitting Duck #96 – You were hearing what the actors were hearing in the studio. They need to hear the music in order to sing along with it. There was also music heard when Joel flubs the Sidehackers song. However, there wasn’t music in the wrecked “Super Freakout” sketch because they didn’t need to hear it, they just needed to, well, freak out. They added the music in in post.
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Cabot!?
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Those interested in seeing the original Gor, it’s available on Netflix streaming. I assume disc, too.
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#103–Streaming only, not available on disk–I checked.
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Yeah, i’ll check out the first Gor movie, just as soon as i get around to watching the first two Ator movies…
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“Deathspank”? Sounds like one hell of an undergarment.
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On a recent trip to the twin cities, I drove down the 494 for the SOLE purpose of driving past that Perkins on my way to the former Eden Prairie studios. That was a good day.
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@84 – Death Spank? What, an out-of-context Mike cult-ref? Nawww, they’ve never heard of it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tywlgOMzIc
(Probably never even seen The Tick in their lives, either…)
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This is the first Mike hosted episode that I really enjoy. The remainder of season five has some great gems in it as well.
If you enjoy this episode, then yes, like above posters have noted, seek out the first movie, “Gor.”
When I saw CT last year, I decided to bring something odd for them to sign. I brought my paperback copy of “Outlaw Of Gor,” the novel that the movie was based on. When I presented the book to Trace to have him sign it, he seemed perplexed. Like, why do you want me to sign this? Then Frank noticed the book, and said to Trace yes, we did one of the Gor movies. Trace took his word for it, and signed the book. Then Frank signed the book for me. Mary Jo also had no memory of “Outlaw.”
But this only further endears me to these performers. They did the episode, went home, and forgot about it! How awesome is that? (Frank picked the movies, so he probably couldn’t forget them even if he wanted to!)
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Saw this one on the ‘free cheese’ tour at Michigan State University back in ’94. Still have the free t-shirt! I’ll never forget my first experience seeing riffing in a large theater environment which is why Outlaw will always be one of my favorites.
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This is one I saw on TV when it first aired, and for years, I tried to find it or remember what the name of the movie was. I remembered the 80s bar scene and the oh-so-uncomfortable buffalo shots; but most of all I recalled the slave scene, where the heroes watch in plain view of the raiders beating and trapping their victims, and do nothing. (Except breathe a few condemning bon mots) Then they (slowly) follow as the Osmonds are marched sadly off to slavery, leaving a trail of bodies. Their campsite does look just like the Moon Zero Two set, though.
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So, you have the best song about boobs ever, and a host segment about USA’s basic cable Skinemax lineup, but no mention of Rhonda Shear? Seems like a missed opportunity there (even if it meant discussing the competition).
Speaking of such, I have to wonder if we would have seen Troma films on MST had USA not poached the entire library for Up All Night.
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@112: Good GOD I’m glad they never did any Troma films on MST, that stuff is mostly unwatchable garbage, which is very different from the mostly watchable garbage that did air on MST. Speaking of….
OUTLAW!
NOT Mike’s best episode!
NOT even his best of Season 5!
NOT the best sword-n-sandal film they did!
BUT!
It IS a pretty good one, I like it, don’t love it.
The Invention Exchange is OVER! Isn’t this the last one? If it’s not, well, it should be. These aren’t even really inventions (well, time machine is, but there’s no joke, no funny, just an excuse for silly clothes to go on Frank and Dr. F). The Fabio kit doesn’t impress. The spirit of the Exchange left when Joel did…
Host Segment #1 is not much, there’s really nothing there, just Mike in a sailor suit.
HS#2 is pretty funny, Tubular Boobular Joy may not be in my top 5 songs of theirs, but it makes me laugh. Hung like a horsical, indeed….
HS#3 is the best, Jack Palance is overall the best thing about this episode, they really tear into him, but I gotta be THAT guy…..
In defense of Jack Palance, he is pretty terrific in at least two movies, both very different movies and roles for him. Jean Luc Godard’s CONTEMPT (1963) is phenomenal, probably my favorite Godard film, and the scene where a raving mad Palance hurls a canister of film like a discus is great, a must see. He plays a film producer in Europe, which is vastly different from the role he plays in 1982’s ALONE IN THE DARK, in which he and Martin Landau are a pair of crazy asylum types who escape and plot to kill their therapist. It’s got some corny elements, but Palance is off the wall brilliant in it. It’s the last movie he would do until 1987’s….GOR, in which he (of course) plays the same character Xenos.. Also, the same year (1989) he was in GOR II (aka: OUTLAW), Palance was in….Tim Burton’s BATMAN as well as TANGO AND CASH. What a big year for Palance….
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RIFFS and things:
My copy has the bumpers cut out, but I do have ONE from the TURKEY DAY marathon, from which this was taped. Mike is carving at a Servo-turkey..
Crow: “Sorry folks, we couldn’t afford special effects..”
Crow: “He’s a mouth breather, that one.”
Mike: “This is what I want the inside of my van to look like.”
Servo: “She’s trying to sleep her way to the bottom.”
Servo: “Watch out for snakes!”
Mike: “This movie is for the ladies…”
Crow: “I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of ass.” (quote from THEY LIVE, except, he was all out of bubblegum in that one…)
Crow: “Wonder if there were actual suicides on this film?” —–WHOA! THAT RIFF IS DARK!
Servo: “Whoa, Jack! You are WAY off script!”
Mike: “What does this clown have against dirt?”
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For me, this is a good, not great episode,
I really, really hate Watney. Worst sidekick, ever.
3 out of 5 buffalo shots.
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“It’s hard to imagine Joel “roughhousing” with the bots the way Mike does here. Maybe that’s the point.”
???
You mean like the “Good Natured Brawling” sketch in Hercules and the Captive Women?
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“• Non-spaghetti-ball bumpers: pan to beaker, pan to notebook, close up on film canister, focus on blackboard as what looks like beach ball goes by.”
No, not a beachball. Looks to me like a fake troll costume butt from episode 415 – The Beatniks. Ties in with the buffalo shots.
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I am sorry if someone pointed this out and I didn’t see it, I think Z-Rock was one of those syndicated-radio station dealies (think Froggy) that programmed mostly heavy metal and hard rock. There were no local DJs or anything like that.
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This is one of my biggest favorite episodes too! I could listen to Mike and the Bots do “Palance” all day. I like Fabio very much
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The “wooorm” line is probably my favorite line of dialogue ever. I can’t believe the director thought it was a good read!
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Not the big classic this is for most but excellent riffing all the same. The fight scenes are hilarious as our Palance’s many hats.
A-
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I remember the guy who played Skippy was in this film where kids go into Soviet occupied territory to rescue their parents. I assumed he disapeared during filming and is somewhere in Siberia where they just forgot about him. Maybe I’m wrong.:)
For some reason I only remember watching the beginning of this thing because all I remember is driving and then being in the desert and ‘cabot”cabot”cabot”cabot”cabot”cabot”cabot’ Maybe I switched over to Star Trek: The Next Generation and forgot to switch back.
I remember Jack Palance. Was he in anymore Mstified movies other than this and Angels Revenge?
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@80 is absolutely right, why are Watney and Cabot friends who even go barhopping together? Did they go to the same high school? Does Cabot look at his little buddy and say, “As boring as my REAL life is, at least I can take comfort in the fact that I measure up great compared to this guy”?
I loved Mike pointing and shaking his finger along with Cabot when they first get to Gor. It’s great when these actors make really random character choices!
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This is what the sequel to ‘John Carter of Mars’ would look like if Jon Peters produced it.
The first film was on Netflix, and I watched that after seeing this to figure out why a sequel was warranted. I’m still pondering this.
I don’t see what Cabot did that would warrant such incessant spoutings of his name by so many people.
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Outlaw fails the Bechdel Test. The only conversation with two females is a brief one between Lara and Talena about Marlenus’s death.
On my Shout DVD, when they show the card, there’s no, “Mystery Science Theater 3000, Show 519, Reel 1.” Does that happen to anyone else? And no, I did not have the Mute on.
Assuming it’s not available at the Café Press shop already, “It’s fun until somebody dies!” should be on a shirt.
I suspect that most of us, if they found themselves mysteriously transported to Gor, would find themselves reacting more like Watney than Cabot (much to their shame).
Personally I think Lara (aka the Evil Queen) has much nicer hair than any of the other female characters.
I’m not sure I understand why the bounty hunter guy decided to kill Lara. Any thoughts?
I could have done without the buffalo shot montage.
It’s hard to imagine Joel “roughhousing” with the bots the way Mike does here.
I don’t know. Remember that time (can’t recall the specific episode) where Joel and the Bots were playing baseball and the ball went through a window, causing depressurization.
fireballil #25: My guess is 105 for the “Cabot”s. If I guess within five, do I get both showcases?
So long as you don’t go over.
Favorite riffs
“How come I don’t see you go out with any women?”
I’m my own woman.
I worry about a superhero named Kevin who drives a Camaro.
Did Rick say you could use his sword to kill us?
For some reason, they’re really into Pictionary here.
“I saw that mountain yesterday.”
It’s clearly following us.
“Hold my arm.”
WHOA! That’s not my arm!
It’s the S&M Follies.
I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of ass.
“Stop beating up on the merchandise!”
But the merchandise started it!
Hi yo, whatever your name is.
Good one, Cabot. You’ve just set fire to the Boy Scout Jamboree.
Dove bars. I love them no matter what dimension I’m in.
Boss, your batch is on fire.
Nice job on watch, Short Round.
The Bataan Nature Walk.
“Would you like a guided tour, Your Highness?”
A tour of my highness? Why you rude little man!
Oh you never would believe where those Keebler cookies come from.
Now they need slaves to clean up the other slaves.
“What have you done to the prisoner?”
We cancelled it. It was too obscure.
“I can make you far more than a slave.”
You could be my juggler.
Now we need another hot chick to worship.
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Re #113, Jack Palance was one of the all time great movie villains in “Shane”.
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Definitely one of the most fun episodes of the series. I’m amazed by how many lyrics to Tubular Boobular Kevin still remembers.
The DVD on the other hand had some of the worst special features I have ever seen. All three of the people they interviewed just droned on and on within any enthusiasm and didn’t really even touch on anything that interesting. The most torturous was the guy who was discussing the novels and their author. There’s something that just hurt my brain about watching an old, half-asleep man discussing the way feminists have an irrational negative view of fantasy novels where women are taught their rightful place as sex slaves.
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Because she killed Marlenus. He presumably believed Lara when she said that Cabot had killed him and needed to be brought back alive for punishment. He was a loyalist to the true king, and angry that he’d been deceived.
Now, why he was willing to take the word of a single prisoner about to be executed…
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So there’s Gor, Deathstalker, Ator, what other c-list fantasy franchises did they tackle over the years?
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And that’s assuming that Hercules is B-list?
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Still one of my favorite eps of all-time.
Watching it last night, a few things struck me. One, how comically evil the queen was (seriously, why did people follow her?). Two, how in only 1 day slavery became such a predominant thing in the land that attractive young women didn’t know what love or freedom was. Three, apparently they had a mine directly underneath the palace?! And it had a cave-in? How is the palace still intact? Also, what were they mining? Was it materials for constructing phallic statues?
Oh, and Palance is supposed to be some kind of frigging wizard, but the closest thing to sorcery he does is whip up some arsenic wine coolers.
My only problem with this episode would be the dance at the end. I don’t get it.
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Hey, I’ve got a WDT!
“You disgusting worrrrm!
You disgusting worrrrm!
You disgusting worrrrm!
You disgust …”
“Hello?”
Yep – ‘MST3K ringtones’!
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Colossus is another.
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I saw this one for the first time during this past Turkey Day marathon. It really is one of the all-time greats. I love low-budget ’80’s SF/F.
Speaking of which, using an apostrophe to pluralize is acceptable for acronyms and numbers. 40’s, 50’s, 60’s is fine. (’40s, ’50s, ’60s, and even ’40’s, ’50’s, and ’60’s are also fine, since the leading apostrophe is to note that the first two digits of the year are left off.)
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@ #130 – littleaimishboy
Some of us just got some official MST3k ringtones! ;)
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This is the last episode to have a slate, and for some reason, it is silent.
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I have never heard that an apostrophe to pluralize ANYthing is acceptable and “’40’s” is just koo-koo. But this is not a grammar blog, so anything goes! :-D
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There’s an interesting (for some values of “interesting” discussion over at http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/55970/plurals-of-acronyms-letters-numbers-use-an-apostrophe-or-not ; general consensus seems to be that using an apostrophe to pluralize numbers, acronyms, individual letters, etc. used to be more generally accepted but is largely discouraged now, except where necessary for clarity (eg “dot your i’s”).
But that’s enough of me veering off-topic…
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To quote Horatio in Hamlet, indeed, it did follow hard upon.
But, like the Jack Perkins jokes, refs about USA Network building its channel around Silk Stalkings remains as another early 90’s time capsule of “current” refs about Why All the Other Cable Channels Bug Them.
Is USA Network still around? (All the Commander USA memories in the Weekend thread had me curious.) Let’s see:
(checks online listings)
Huh, think they’ve given up on the TV movies, now it’s just entire binge-blocked days of NCIS, Modern Family, and Law & Order SVU.
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According to a previous “This Date in MSTory”, Watney’s voice was dubbed over, even though Russel Savadier is a native English speaker. I guess his own voice just wasn’t annoying enough for the producers.
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I enjoy cheesy 80’s crap. I enjoy cheesy 80’s crap being lampooned. Therefore, I enjoy this episode.
“Boy I could go for a short stack!”
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“Hey look, ‘Intolerance’! Well sort of…”
I’m usually not one for the sword & sorcery movies. Films like the Hercules entries just don’t grab me as much. But this one, with its unmistakably 80s attitude and aesthetic, is just a delight to watch.
It’s really been interesting to realize how quickly Mike settled in as host and riffer, with several great episodes right after Joel’s departure.
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I love this episode! The movie is so stupid, yet watchable. It has some great riffing fodder including a douchey hero, an annoying, painfully unfunny comic relief character, cheesy sets, hilariously bad dialog and line reads, all this plus it has Jack Palance — a guy who is fun to imitate and yet also the only real talent in the movie. And then they do the terrific “Toobular Boobular Joy” song! All in all, a topnotch episode!
BTW, Cabot had plenty of reasons to kill Watney, but most of all he should have killed him for betraying him at the drop of hat.
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The Really Real Time Machine appears to be a rework of something Joel did on David Letterman: https://youtu.be/2kSw45_WEyo?t=31m38s
Dr Forrester’s line, “It’s all going to hell,” cracks me up every time. Why is that line so funny? Perhaps the humorous setting gives me an opportunity to laugh at the harsh reality around me, which is humor at its most cathartic if you ask me. Maybe it’s all in the delivery. At any rate, it is funny.
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Well, that’s because whatever he did, he did during his previous visit. He did whatever great thing he did and then returned to Earth; like Hercules, Maciste, and others, he in effect rode into town, fixed whatever was wrong, and rode away again (“Who was that unmasked man…?”). When he came back, they were glad to see him because he was their hero.
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Eric J,
USA is still around and has seemingly lucked into one of the better shows on tv, Mr. robot. It’s mostly law and order reruns and crap besides that though.
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Per the dialogue, Gor ALREADY had slavery when Cabot visited it the first time. The young women would have been BORN into slavery.
During that first visit, Cabot apparently sort of, uh, a suitable metaphor’s eluding me so I’ll just say got Gor started on outlaw[of Gor]ing slavery. Obviously, that didn’t pan out. Besides, any changes would’ve affected the lowest “ranking” slaves last of all, anyway.
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I read a bunch of the Gor books when I was in the 6th grade. They had a very particular flavor that the movie completely failed to capture. Great episode.
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“It’s hard to imagine Joel “rough housing” with the Bots”
…because the few times he did, Gypsy intervened?
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For those who haven’t seen it, the first “Gor” is pretty much identical to this, only insanely boring. We have to suffer through what seems like a million scenes of Cabot! Cabot? Cabot! and friends marching across the desert; those must make up about 50% of the movie. There’s even more skin here, too. I swear, the costumer must have just said, “Eh, clothes are optional.” There are a couple of bar brawls, and at the end, a massive feast where Oliver Reed gets to show up, wear a silly outfit, and not do much of anything. The scenes they used in “Outlaw of Gor” make the movie look more action-packed than it is, but frankly, I think they took the ONLY interesting scenes from the movie.
The framing device is even lamer than the one in “Outlaw”. Tarl is a professor who gets humiliated by a brawnier professor (apparently colleges are run like eighties movie high schools). Then, at the end, Tarl punches the guy out! Wow, I’m inspired. Who knew wearing next to nothing while slogging through a barren landscape would increase your confidence?
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This is one of the rare movies that even Joel/Mike and the Bots can’t quite make palatable to me. “Hobgoblins” is another.
You mean John Norman’s whole “deep down, women really WANT men to humiliate and dominate and enslave them” deal? Yeah, I didn’t see much of that in the movie either.
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His character is actually supposed to be a member of a highly advanced alien race that doesn’t give a crap about humans as long as they don’t develop technology. So he may have had Clarke’s “Techno-magic” in some behind-the-scenes way. The character is also supposed to be a gigantic insect.
I don’t really know anything else, as I learned this from some idle wiki-surfing one day.
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