Close readers of this site may have noticed a small change in our navigation bar: three of our least-performing (make that non-performing) merchandise stores at Cafepress.com have been closed.
(If there’s anybody out there who’s been procrastinating buying a Ward E, Daddy-O or Tradin’ Post T-shirt for all these years, and you still want one, let me know and I’ll throw one back up on the main Satellite News store.)
In its place has come our latest brainstorm: The MST3K Catchphrases T-shirt Store!
The idea came to me after our recent weekend discussion thread, where we listed the many many many phrases that have been made popular by the show. It occurred to me that what MSTies would love would be shirts that proudly and boldly proclaimed a phrase that would make 90 percent of general public say “Huh?” and the other 10 percent say, “Hey! One of my own kind!”
Now, we know the economy’s tough, so with your wallet in mind, we have only used the most inexpensive T-shirt CafePress offers (it’s still 100 percent cotton; I bought one myself and I think it’s a good-quality shirt) and we are only charging two smackers over the base price. Your welcome.
So, check it out, find a phrase you like, and buy it!…um, if that’s okay.
UPDATE–Okay, I have added 48 more catchphrases, based on the suggestions and requests. The new ones are on top. If you suggested one and I didn’t include it, I decided it wasn’t quite right for this. But thanks for everybody’s suggestions.
SECOND UPDATE–Okay, I have added another 20 phrases and ALL the phrases on the white shirts are now also available on dark-colored (including black) shirts. Check them out here.
THIRD UPDATE–There is now a section for shirts especially for the ladies. We now have a total of 135 phrases. I’m probably not going to add too many more but if you think I have missed an obvious one, let me know.
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Man, I laughed SO HARD at most of these! But how about:
“I meant to ask him in for pie- I don’t know what happened!”
Of course, I’d pay real money for an ‘I’m not a Medium, I’m a Petite’ t-shirt. Especially since I am a huge lumbering ox :)
“You’re not my real father!” (MST3K:TM & Pod People)
“I’m in the phone pavillion and I’m wearing a fright wig” (Century 21 Calling)
“And what a wire rack!” (Speech)
And while we’re on “Speech”…
“Be sure to use plenty of lip and tongue action”
That would be the best shirt EVER.
How’s the pretending you’re not old going?
How about DEEP HURTING?
“What fresh tedium is this?”
Yeah, I agree on DEEP HURTING!
Also, “Can you identify this bucket of your brother?”
“This is where the fish lives.”
CREEPY GIRL (maybe even with the extended meanings of the letters from Tom’s song.
hey, do farts Have lumps?
Has anyone suggested Let’s All Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas ?
Mike #57 and Ryan #59: Didn’t the Brains have a Deep Hurting T or bumper stickler? In which case Sampo & Co. will be steering clear of that.
I’m Peter Graves, and I was wondering if you could direct me to the natatorium ?
( or words to that effect )
or maybe even “The Old School”
Underwoc and “I’m not a medium…” both have “Mit Ein Nauesburger Tog,” but I’m fairly certain that Tom says “Mit Ein Neuesburger Tod,” which is ridiculous, but it’s at least proper German. “Nauesburger” would definitely be the wrong way to spell the word he pronounces. At any rate, it doesn’t look like it’ll fit on any of these cafe press shirts.
I’m another person more likely to get a non-caucasian T Shirt.
How about, “It’s Just a Show, I Should Really Just Relax”? Is someone doing that one already?
oh, boy! let’s see…
‘hum da-dee-dee dee… hua, hua…’
‘moon rock? oh, Wow!’
‘Vodka sandwiches’
‘My God, what is it?!’
‘I told you to let me die’
‘I don’t care!’
‘My own flesh I don’t love better!’
‘only Love pads the film’
‘I’ll have what I’m having’
‘now you’re gonna be the worm face!’
‘you think you can take me? go ahead on!’
apologies for repeats, wrote in a hurry.
gotta go- more later, probably!
Just watched “Giant Spider Invasion” so-
“I mate; THEN I kill”
“I suppose you’re a woman, too”
“PUDDING!”
“You’ve been hittin’ the BOOZE again!”
“there goes the last shred of dignity”
and how about
“Mr. Beardsley!??”
I’ll definitely second “They tried to kill him with a forklift” and “Rowsdower… is that a stupid name?”
Other suggestions:
“They blew up the Hitler Building!” (though that may be construed as offensive)
“Paul, you is a warwilf!” (to go with “Absolutely fascinating”)
“Are pumas also known for their whining!”
I’d buy quite a few of those shirts…if you had anything other than the standard, no-shape-whatsoever fit. Can we get something fitted for those of us who are of the female persuasion? And not white would be nice too! :grin:
Is there any possibility that the Satellite News-logo could be printed on the back, say just below the neck? I think that it would fit better there than the placement right now.
Like this: Jinx site, see bottom right picture.
I like the positioning of the logo better than right smack below the text on the front.
These are awesome!
I’d happily pay a few extra bucks to get them on babydoll t-shirts, and in different colors (I have way too many white t-shirts). Any way the “Satellite News” logo could be on the back instead of the front?
I concur with many of the catchphrases offered – I’d love to see:
“Hi-Keeba!”
“He tried to kill me with a forklift!”
“So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, and leaves?”
“Sure, hot plates are great. They’re boss. Until…”
“Normal view!”
@ Annie: I’m with you on “Normal view”, except that it should be done as “Normal view, normal view, normal view, NORMAL VIEEEEEEEEW!”
I’m definitely getting “You’re weird, which results in creativity”.
“Come back, Nummy Muffin Cocol Butter–I love you!”
“Oh no, you’ve triggered a Freak Out in Frank!”
“I am the Button…”
“Roger, this is God. Pick up the pace.”
“It’s not just Ator flying, it’s the human spirit.”
“Liederhosen….hosen.”
“Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?”
Ok, that’s enough from me. :smile:
Wow, I have to say I am pleasantly surprised at the calls for the higher-cost shirts. I went with the basic shirt (which does not allow for printing on the back) because I feared if I went for the higher-priced ones people would yell “this is too expensive!”
So, at your command, I will get started on adding many of these new phrases, then I will look into doing some gray ones and baby doll ones and I’ll put the logo on the back (which I originally wanted to do anyway). And I’ll look into doing black ones.
But they’re gonna be up in the $17-$20 range…
Vornoff #65 : On closer look, I think you’re right, based on my remembrance of the pronouciation. But could it also be :
Neues Burger-Tod ? ( meaning I’ve no idea what )
Neuesberger ( obscure family name ) Tod ?
Oh please do the “tickle me carlo lombardi doesn’t like to be disappointed” one!!!! :twisted:
Grant this one request, oh great Sampo!
There just might be a Hamdinger in it for you!
How could you forget about SLEEEEEP!
We’ll scuttle the story and run her aground; yo ho, slow the plot down.
*sheds a tear for wistful Joel moments.*
Someone correct me if I’m wrong on this one:
A small gold man was reading to me from a dirty book.
That would be a great “Huh?” shirt.
black shirts would be awesome and I would gladly pay more for them. these are gonna sell like crazy!
Lost Continent: “please don’t grab my butt, I just had an operation”
First Spaceship on Venus: “do not order the Venusian puu-puu platter”
Attack of the Giant Leeches: “I’m a danger to myself and others!”
Attack of the Eye Creatures: “they just DIDN’T CARE”
and “Darn smoochers on my property!”
Monster a Go-Go: “there was no monster!”
Mitchell: “BUZZ OFF, KID!!”
Danger: Death Ray: “Danger! Bifocals!” and “Danger! Beergut!”
Skydivers: “Hello Mr. Gower. Can I have a little– acid?”
Red Zone Cuba: “I am a Cuban- and this is my Cuban infant”
Laserblast: “Are you ready for some FOOOTBALLL?”
and “Illegal use of a Diesen”
Mole People: “I brought you a big steaming pan of SMARMY”
Prince of Space: “Your weapons are useless against me!”
The Touch of Satan: “I am Gorgo- and Mormo”
Girl in Gold Boots: “I’m an Icky Elf”
“Neues Burger-Tod ? ( meaning I’ve no idea what )
Neuesberger ( obscure family name ) Tod ?”
I’m guessing that this bit of Tom Servo’s is an homage to a Monty Python bit. in the sketch, they are discussing the work of composer “Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm” and have to say this immense name over and over. one of the composer’s relatives dies in the middle of saying the name. Although the particular German names from the ‘walkathon’ bit do not appear in the composer’s name, I am guessing that the Python sketch was an influence, as both involve ridiculously long phrases, with Tom adding the Germanic names at the end.
They’re on a collision course with wackiness!
I like the white shirts, personally. Black shirts are played out!
Great idea. I have a Cafepress store myself: http://www.penguinrocket.com and I know the shirts are of good quality.
I hope your shirts do well. We need more MST3K converts, or they will all be subjected to TORCHA!
A few of my favorite phrases:
“Dickweed” (of course) Human Duplicators
“Hey! They’re welding back at me!” Attack of The The Eye Creatures
“He has Earl Campbell thighs” Hercules And The Captive Women
“I don’t pay for your hookers, Mitchell.”
“Well, could ya?” Mitchell
“And, she’s an acrobat, Ted.” Mitchell
“He was hastily put together” Mitchell
“Been hitting the ‘Thigh Master’, Torgo?” Manos
“The Sinister Urge is a silly urge…” The Sinister Urge
“Da da, da-da-da-da. Eat it movie!” Prince Of Space
“I don’t think the Lord said it this many times in a row” The Giant Gila Monster
“A smart young fella could his knee up on such a thing” The Giant Gila Monster
“I’m your mother now, Frank” Dr. F (I forget which episode that’s from)
“This was his batch” Sky Divers
“That’s one unstable octopus” Bride Of The Monster
#60 – They already have “This is where the fish lives.”
ditto #80 – “I’m a danger to myself and others.”
So many great suggestions, so little closet and drawer space.
“On life-long quest like Sinbad.
Shot myself out airlock.
Never returning.
Ham in fridge.
Crow.”
(Too much?)
How ’bout – “I have Luberia.”
Your weapons are useless against me!
If they could branch out into gray shirts with different fonts, exact reproductions of Nick’s “CASTLETON” shirt would top my list.
Or does Edgewood studios already sell those?
I know thry dont work as well, but me and my buds would love:
STAY! (Undead)
Help Me! (Rocket Attack USA)
and Ha, Ha, Ha, HA, HAAAAH (Prince of Space)
More quote and catch phrase fun:
“You do it, I’m bitter.” was a response by Joel and the ‘Bots to many questions asked by characters in many episodes.
“Dumber than a bagful of hammers.” was used by the Brains in many episodes to describe many stupid characters in many stupid movies. I always loved that expression.
“Circus on ice? Two bad things that go worse together.” from Circus On Ice
“This whole thing is just an excuse to crawl inside a whiskey bottle.” from Junior Rodeo Daredevils
My suggestions:
From Time Chasers-
“Just a floppy disk for breakfast, honey?”
“What would MacGyver do? Get cancelled.”
“The adventures of the Average People.”
“Ewww, I’ve got me all over me.”
From Manos-
“Honey, when you look for someone, what do you do?”
“Come on, fling her, sidearm, go for distance.”
“Hi dear, the dog’s dead…oh that came out all wrong.”
“Yeah, here I go, vroom.”
“And the tender “Peeping Torgo” scene.”
No “Beer and porn make the shift go by faster”? I’d wear it to work…
My wife won’t let me buy anything until September, but I’m definitely going to buy at least one — definitely two if you can get one up there that says:
KITTY!
Sampo, I personally would be very willing to pay more for non-white shirts, especially if the design is upped a bit (logo on the back, as you mentioned, etc.). In fact, I absolutely intend to grab one or two, but am holding off in hopes of ver2.0.
Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis (containing X-4) and Ecstatoeuphorofun (with patented Hinder 90!)
Says page does not exist.
Turn your crank to Frank.
Now,
when you see pink
your gonna to think
we’re doomed.
( too long )
“We’ll always have Torgo” or “Mrs. Phyllis Torgo- guess I kinda like it” or “Why don’t you guys just leave us alone?” (Manos)
“More Gray Asses!” (A Case of Spring Fever)
“How about a hamburger?” (I Accuse My Parents)
“Wounded animal that large isn’t good” (Night of the Blood Beast)
“Well, this certainly is PLEASANT” (Dinner With Your Family) also “well…spankings all around, then…”
“Music that means- nothing at all-all all-” (Space Mutiny)
“That was a REALLY GOOD BATCH!!” (Wild World of Batwoman)
“Weird. I guess that is the word for it. Weird” (Ring of Terror)
“Honey, don’t” (general term) or “Honey, No.”
“I don’t fink on soul brother.” (Frank, Hellcats)
“What kind of sin can a man commit in a single lifetime…” (Amazing Colossal Man)
“Hurry, Diana!” (Undersea Kingdom)
“BOOPIE!” (Crash of the Moons)
“I LIKE coffee” (Skydivers)
“It’s fun when there are things!” (Parts: the Clonus Horror)
What!–no “gentle pressure”?
“No dancing- not allowed”