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Weekend Discussion Thread: Most Laughable Props in a MSTed MovieAlert treader “Rowsdower” suggests:
He also had examples that were actually make up and costumes, which I think I will save for another day. I think I’m going to go with the flying pizza monsters in episode (I was on no sleep when I typed that.) What’s your pick? 160 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Most Laughable Props in a MSTed Movie”Commenting at Satellite News
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Damn, I was going to mention Castro’s beard.
How about the switched heads from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The teddy bear has a doll’s head and the doll has the teddy bear’s head! “We’ll have to sell this stuff to Wham-o!”
This thread reminds me of one of my very favorite riffs ever, from Giant Gila Monster. “Is there a phone on every wall?!”
That weird giant rideable bath toy from Godzilla vs Megalon. It was laughable that such an abomination exists!
The tricked out golf cart in “Prince of Space” along with the constant change in size and deadly negative scratches. But really, it has to be the flying pizzas, n’est pas?
Lots of good ones have already been mentioned, but I have to add the “Space Platform” from Robot Monster. An obvious toy spaceship with a sparkler, being moved around by a VERY visible hand? That’s the stuff bad movies are made of! :)
Just saw Danger! Death Ray for the first time recently, and fell off the couch laughing at the model ships and cars.
I’ll go a little leftfield and nominate two I haven’t seen yet:
1. The “miniaturized” animals that are really just TV screens on Amazing Colossal Man
2. The map tube on Catalina Caper. I totally believe that someone might in fact stick a rolled-up map inside such a tube, but there’s something about the complete banality of the object as a MacGuffin and its ability to muddle instead of motivate the plot that just boggles my mind.
@50 – Rings? I thought they WERE supposed to be condoms!
And so far no one’s mentioned–
@12 – The space capsule from “Monster A Go-Go” is pretty lame too. “Douglas was pear-shaped, very short and stood the whole way!”
…Er, oh. They did. :)
All those fake plastic skeltons in TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE.
Space Chief’s oil burning jalopy of a space car in INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN.
Weren’t those flying pizza creatures also reused in THE UNDEAD?
It has to be the carpet monster from Creeping Terror. So big and slow, people had to crawl in to it’s “mouth” to be eaten.
What about the Whammo Air Blasters in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Oh man, the sparkler in Robot Monster. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Ooh, how could I forget the lawn chairs used on the rocketship in 12 to the Moon? And that was the same film that gave us the “invisible electromagnetic ray screen” on their helmets…do “just pretend” elements count as props?
Soooo many crappy props, so little time….AHHHHHHH I’M ON PROP OVERLOAD!!!!!!!
How about the giant rubber octopus from BRIDE OF THE MONSTER…for that matter, how about anything from that movie.
I hate to repeat the choice in the original post of this topic, but I have to go with Future War’s cardboard camera.
I choose it because when I first saw it, I was instantly reminded of the large toy guns I made out of cardboard boxes and tubes when I was a kid.
Um, I’m going to a short and choose:
1. Cody’s personal rocket pack (unless you assume the fuel mixture he developed for it was way ahead of it’s time- and though he wore it over his clothes, it is NOT a costume!)
2. The earthling’s spaceship, which flies them to the moon and back with a mechanical system more suited to someones basement plumbing.
3. The balsa wood “tanks” the moon men drive around.
I’ve scanned through most of the previous entries, and totally agree with the cardboard camera in “Future War” and the glorified waxing carts in “Space Mutiny”. Bye for now!
Speaking of spaceships, how about the static wheel on the spaceship door in that Rocky Jones movie? How hard would it have been to get a nut, a bolt, a washer and drill couple of holes? Having that wheel turn would have been such a simple thing, but they still didn’t do it. The simplicity of creating a believable effect, and not doing it, makes that one especially cheap and laughable.
Been mentioned by #31 MPSh already, but Eegah’s “saggy cave that leaks,” gets my attention. More of a set than a prop, but for bonus points, how about his “family?” Runner up: Arch’s water-filled tires.
Speaking of bad beards, Captain Santa Claus in Space Mutiny has a horrible fake beard, but I guess that goes to makeup more than props. I would like to suggest the clown-car spaceship in Teenagers from Outer Space. All those “teenagers” fit in that thing? The creepiest prop for me is the mouth/lips thingy in Santa Claus. The Kelloggs Cornflakes camera from Futre War has been mentioned, but the plastic dinosuars and the stacks of cardboard boxes filled with air should get dishonorable mention as well.
Being a VOTG addict, how about that giant drumstick that Johnny Crawford is munching on in ‘Village of the Giants?’
Tom: num-num, papier-mache, num!
I also second that creature in ‘It Conquered the World.’ It looked like they stole that thing from a carnival ride.
How about the dune-buggy from EEGAH?!
Dude talks about how great it is and that the Professor should use it. Then it winds up getting stuck later in the film.
Okay, no costumes, no make-up….just props. Okay….Lemme think…hmmmm, something not mentioned yet…..
How about Eegah!’s cave and his “family” that is posed all around? Very shoddily done, indeed.
or
The arm cannon laser gun from Laserblast. That thing was cheaply made, and that’s not even mentioning the poor stop-motion animated aliens. (Also, does Eddie Deezen count as a prop?)
OR
How about in Space Mutiny and the Velorians (sp?) who dance around their electricity ball that they bought at Spencer Gifts. Cheap, cheap, cheap, and sooooo eighties!
and, one more
the werewilf skeleton that is found in Werewolf. Although, it’s more realistic than the villains hairpiece.
.
This is fun! Let’s do bad costumes next! I got some good ones.
!
Not the best perhaps, but the aging wooden ladder laboriously lowered to the ground from the never-seen spaceship airlock of The Fire Maidens of Outer Space– borrowed from the crew perhaps, complete with its coating of grime, random paint spills, etc.– deserves a special mention.
The Hobgoblins from their namesake movie. I’m glad they have telekinetic powers, because they can’t do anything physically.
The gravity plates and gravity control from Phantom Planet. Each does absolutely nothing in an of itself, but put an object or wave a hand over it, and ooh baby!
The glittering charm shield from Cave Dwellers, or the hubcap for the Plymouth Somerset.
The short General Hospital part 2, shown with The Beatniks, had the strangest prop cake. Like it was made out of cardboard or something.
Aw, my favorites are already taken: The ‘ray-guns’ in SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, literally just Whammo Air-Blasters painted silver; and the Billion Bubble Machine in ROBOT MONSTER, which doesn’t even TRY to make sense… I guess I could mix that in with the army surplus radio Ro-Man was using…
Oh, I got it! How about the fake ‘ancient murals from a lost civilization’ from FINAL SACRIFICE? The ones that looked like they should be painted on the side of someone’s van?
@20: The photo enlarger makes a return appearance in “The Amazing Transparent Man,” in the sheet metal lab up in the attic. Let’s also not forget the audio amplifier that was used as an analyzer in the opening scene of “Teenagers From Outer Space.” Photograph it upside down and no one will notice!
Oh, wait! Even better prop (and more prop-ish) from FINAL SACRIFICE: That ‘ancient totem pole’ thing which has supposedly been standing unnoticed for centuries but which looks like it could be knocked down with a single kick…
Rowsdower’s truck gets honorable mention…
The bow and arrow from Jack Frost. Wow, it barely works!
( next week… best prop ? let me put in a vote now for the witch’s house on birds legs from Jack Frost )
Giant paper mache boobs Johnny Crawford dangles from in ‘Village of the Giants?’
Assist to Mike @69.
My prop also is in Manhunt in Space. It is cold light. Both a lame prop and a lame premise.
@#57: About the skeletons in Teenagers from Outer Space. We have the movie unMSTied and we paused it when Professor Simpson lost everything but his bones. Not only could we see the wires holding the “skeleton” together, but we could see the serial number of that skeleton.
@#14 and 20: The fake octopus would have been more believable (Bride of the Monster) if Ed Wood would have stolen its motor when he stole the octopus.
I have to add the hamburger painting from MST3k The Movie (This Island Earth) and The Leech Woman. Was Universal Studios serious?
And how about the transponder/transporter thingie from Being from Another planet? Or Omega (beedie, beedie, beedie) from First Spaceship on Venus. Or its planet of novelty items. Or anything else to do with that movie (do NOT order the Venetian poo poo platter).
Thanks for the correction. I was scratching my head on that one. Although…I always thought they looks like deliciously stuffed pita pocket monsters! Get a butterfly net…yum! :D
Speaking of Future War, how about the “bazooka” used during the floor buffer chase that is nothing more than a piece of PVC pipe.
I mean, Space Mutiny. D’oh! For some reason, mentioning the title of the wrong movie is contagious on this thread.
How about Diet Kolos’ spaceship at the opening of “Human Duplicators”?
Hmmmmm?
A lot of great choices. Some of my favorites…
In Teenagers from Outer Space, the aliens use a multi-channel mixer (clearly marked in a close-up) to do something sciency.
Roman’s use of the Lawrence Welk bubble machine to destroy the humans.
Ultimately, though, Ed Wood wins this for me. Cardboard walls, “lab equipment”, and of course the passed out Octopus win this for me. His cardboard headstones and pie tin ufos from Plan 9 are really my favorite worst props, but I guess I can’t really count them here.
By the way, does Zap Rowsdower’s name count as a terrible prop? If so, I want to change my vote.
Speaking of the “flying pizza monsters” from “It Conquered…” (Sampo)
I had a dream during a fever long ago, about 1990, before I ever heard of mst3k. It was about these huge flying “quill bugs” (named that in the dream). they were kind of shaped like the pizza monster but had big quills that would stick into people when they landed on them and it hurt like hell.
In the dream I was a scientist trying to find a way to stop them. I was lucky to have not gotten attacked by any, cause they were every where outside. I’d be walking with friends and one would swoop down out of nowhere and take people out right and left. The craziest thing about the dream though was that it took place over a period of like 3 or 4 days. but the dream was only during a night of about 5 hours sleep, and I woke up drenched in sweat.
The creatures in ‘It Conquered the World’ always remind me of that dream.
Now nobody better steal my dream and make a movie out of it!
(But it WOULD be better than some of the other crap coming out these days)
Wasn’t the carpet monster from Creeping Terror also used at the end of Teenage Cave man? Does that make it a separate entry or the same one?
In facts, as most Roger Corman movies were made from the same props, you can just say, “That Roger Corman prop” and be done with it.
For me the generic “bad prop” has always been the controls of a space ship. From Project Moon base (or even Cosmic Princess) to Rocketship X-M and Santa Claus conquers the Martians, the “spaceship controls” are always random switches and lights pushed as the mood finds you.
Along with that are the “space suites” they use to explore the moon or Mars. In Rocketship X-M it was a simple flight helmet with tubing. 12 to the Moon did not even have faceplates.
While the monsters of MST3K might be considered “props” I think they should have been a separate category like make up and costumes. It takes a bit more to do them then to paint a cardboard box.
The mind control PUMA MAN mask thing used by Donald Pleasense.
The Volkswagon spider of GIANT SPIDER INVASION…no punch backs!
Beau Bridges “legs” in VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS as the good kids drive around them..Do the “special effects” in DANGER! DEATH RAY! count as props? The toy submarine,toy car and toy helicopter,I’m referring to…What about the whammo air blasters the martians used in SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS??
The clothes lined skeleton in 911, The Screaming Skull :-)
My vote goes to the seahorse that “Sinbad” rides near the end of Episode #505 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad…
Mine would be the huge spider in Giant spider invasion or the flimsy puppet used as the ‘little creature’ in boggy creek II where it ‘jumped’ on the cop’s back.
I haven’t checked what other people said but what comes to mind is Batwoman’s hand-gunnish thing (that is actually a microphone) she uses to free the bat-girls with at the end of The Wild World of Batwoman.
One of the Japanese monster movies had some really rotten Moon Base props, especially an incredibly laughable moon buggy. It rivaled the submarine and helicopter from Danger: Death Ray.
And to add a little more to Stoneman’s post at 65, when Commando Cody was on the moon his jet pack must have also supplied him with oxygen! And his “suit” was nowhere near air tight, including him not even wearing gloves on the moon in some scenes. Plus his space ship would never even have gotten off the ground since the only thrust came from directly behind it. The best he could have hoped for was a land speed record in a vehicle with no wheels.
@97
Why would Commando Cody need an oxygen supply from his suit? It was always a nice, sunny day on the moon.
The Wild World of Batwoman. In Ratfink’s lair, his devices were just painted/drawn/colored knobs, needles, gauges, etc. on boxes.