Short: (1951) Young Nick hopes to ask schoolmate Kay for a date, but can’t think of a venue.
Movie: (1956) Four women (including one undercover cop) break out of prison, with a plan to recover a cache of stolen diamonds.
First shown: 7/31/93
Opening: Crow and Tom are obsessed with the ‘Spock in love’ episode of “Star Trek”
Invention exchange: The Mads present the U-view, J&tB demonstrate the Andrew Lloyd Webber grill
Host segment 1: Tom has decided that he wants to date Gypsy
Host segment 2: Tom calls Gypsy to ask for a date
Host segment 3: Tom and Gypsy go out on a date, briefly
End: Tom thought the date went well, Gypsy dumps him, Joel reads a letter that upsets Tom, Frank is still watching himself
Stinger: “Ssssssssshut up!”
(142 votes, average: 4.18 out of 5)
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• This is one of those episodes where the short pretty much overwhelms the movie that follows it. The same thing happened with “War of the Colossal Beast,” which was almost completely swamped by “Mr. B.” The short is just so precious and silly, and the movie is so slight and ephemeral (despite some very good riffing) that tail wags the dog, as it were.
• This episode appeared on Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 10” (and 10.2).
• Callback: Shut up, Iris! (The Beatniks); “To be like the Cor-Man…” (Robot Monster)
• Watch carefully during the “U-View” bit: Both Frank and Dr. F reach about six feet to take things from each other. A great blink-and-you-missed-it, unremarked-upon sight gag.
• We spend that entire invention exchange looking at the back of an old-style CRT TV, dating the whole sketch.
• The ST:TOS episode Joel calls “the Elias Sandoval episode” (and which we refer to in our episode guide as the “Spock in Love” episode) was in fact called “This Side of Paradise.” I’m not going back, Jim!
• Mike “Touch” Connors was born Kreker Ohanian. So “Touch” doesn’t sound so bad after all.
• Naughty riff: “Beverly can handle a Johnson, can’t she?”
• The “Baywatch” bit during the “U-View” invention exchange is kind of an expansion of a throw-away gag Tom Servo did in the previous episode: “Don’t get drunk and swim under the dock.” Doodly-doodly-doodly… “I’m drunk and swimming under the dock!”
• The previous time around, I asked if anybody could identify the guitar Joel is playing in segment 1. A couple of people told me it was a copy of a Stratocaster, probably a Yamaha. The song he was singing was Neil Young’s “Old Man.”
• Gypsy seems a little grumpy in this one. She’s usually more easy-going.
• Then-current reference: “The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag” (1992).
• I remember being bothered, the first time I saw this, about the “cutting off the legs of the pants” scene. I thought–“They’re in a mosquito/tick-infested swamp and they want to expose MORE skin?? Are they crazy??” Then I saw them in shorts and I forgot about all that… :grin:
• Let’s keep in mind: a snake was shot and killed — on camera — in the making of this movie.
• When BBI cleared out of the studio after the show was cancelled, they held an auction designed, mostly, to sell off office furniture and the like. But Barb says there was a bit of confusion that day, and among the things offered for bid were boxes of video tapes, most of which had unedited rough footage of host segments (sometimes three or four or five takes of the same segment, so you can see them trying different line readings) and a few aborted theater sequences where they got started and then stopped for some reason. One of the tapes included some stuff from this episode. BBI was a little embarrassed that these tapes made it into circulation. A lot of it was recovered, but some stuff has been copied and shared a bit.
• Check out this list of Touch’s other possible names from Ward E.
• Cast and crew wrapup: Director Roger Corman also gave us “It Conquered the World,” “Teenage Caveman,” “Viking Women,” “Gunslinger,” “The Undead” and was executive producer on “Attack of the Giant Leeches,” “High School Big Shot” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Cinematographer Frederick West also worked on “It Conquered the World,” “Gunslinger” and “The She-Creature.” Editor Ronald Sinclair also worked on “Viking Women,” “The Sea Creature,” “The Amazing Colossal Man,” “Earth vs. the Spider” and “War of the Colossal Beast.” Makeup person Carlie Taylor also worked on “Daddy-O.” Production manager Bartlett Carre was production supervisor on “The She Creature.”
In front of the camera, Beverly was, of course, also in “It Conquered the World” and “Gunslinger.” Lou Place was more often behind the camera: he directed “Daddy-O,” was assistant director on “The Undead” production manager on “It Conquered the World and “Agent for H.A.R.M.” Jonathan Haze was in “It Conquered the World,” “Teenage Caveman,” “Viking Women” and “Gunslinger”. Ed Nelson was in “Teenage Caveman, “Night of the Blood Beast,” “Riding with Death” and “Superdome.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Joel Hodgson. And he’s not in the credits, but that’s Mike doing the “Baywatch” voices, of course.
• Fave riff from the short: “Kay has worked on the kill floor. She knows where to deliver the blow.” Honorable mention: “The sensuous pagan ritual begins.”
• Fave riff from the movie: “Let’s just stand here and jut some more.” Honorable mention: “As we left the clam flowage that day…”
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I’ve always felt that Beverly Garland was too good of an actress to be in such schlock as this one,but grateful to have discovered her and witness her talent in movies like this as well as THE GUNFIGHTER and IT CONQUERED THE WORLD.A very underrated actress..As far as this episode,lots of great riffs,a classic short and host segments that keep on giving.. :-D :-D
Ah, some more great Corman-y goodness. Love it.
Another fun episode – love the Servo line – I think it was celebrating *Yellow* Yellow ! :)
Yet more Corman but this time its not a cheap monster movie, its a cheap exploitation film. Beverly Garland rules ! :)
Joels Hair – grew out until next weeks ep.
Joels Knees, Crows Voice
Time for some of that swampy therapy.. :-)
Could someone please explain “The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag”.
In the Corman tradition of everyone having more than one job, Lou Place played the police captain (J.R. Goodrich) in this little gem. He was born in 1912 in Portland, Oregon. He was normally a Production Manager, but early in his career did double duty as an actor, this being his last outing in that role for Corman. He was Production Manager for It Conquered the World (remember “Hey, let’s go over to Lou’s Place.”) and for Agent for H.A.R.M. He was the director of Daddy-O (Want some?) and Assistant Director on The Undead.
Favorite lines (What to do on a Date):
Aaron Copeland throws a party.
[Kay holding hammer] Kay has worked on the kill floor. She knows where to deliver the blow.
Favorite Lines (Swamp Diamonds):
[Directed by Roger Corman] To be like the Corman, to live like the Corman. [a nod to Robot Monster]
And coming up the Miss Hathaway Marching Band. “Oh, Mr. Drysdale!”
He played Touch Connors like a piano.
The Banana Splits haven’t aged very well have they?
[the Prison] Hey, it looks like a Catholic grade school. Our Lady of French Guiana from which there is no escape.
It’s Lucy and Viv in the big house. Welcome to dye job theatre. They’re all doing a nickel at U.P.S.
They’re all strung out on Correctol.
These women are actually escaping in Easy Spirit dress pumps.
[of Touch Connors] Well, we caught it, but what is it?
After a prison break and hostage taking it’s back to the lodge for a smooth Canadian Club.
She sends one of yours to the salon, you send one of hers to the spa—that’s the Chicago way.
Final Thought: Beverly Garland’s “red” hair is a fright. I give this one 4 out of 5 stars.
#54
It’s a movie. :-)
http://www.imdb.com/find?q=The+Gun+in+Betty+Lou%92s+Handbag&s=all
I love it when one of the tough girls refers to another by the color of her hair, Red, and Joel answers calling the platinum blond woman “White”.
I like this episode a lot. The short is a classic and the film is great for riffing. I too really enjoy the host segments.
I’ll give 4 stars.
I am one of those folks that saw “The Gun In Betty Lou’s Handbag” in the theaters back in 1992.
Haven’t seen it again since.
Bad movie.
We’re probably going to have this discussion again when “A Date With Your Family” comes up, but the short in this week’s episode explains a lot for me why the 60s happened. It’s not so much the painfully dorky teenagers in the film itself–after all, Nick is pretty lucky he landed a swell girl like Kay who loves to do neato things like weenie roasts and swim meets instead of one of the ne’er-do-well vixens from “Swamp Diamonds” (tell me true: how many men would rather date Beverly Garland than Kay-from-the-short?)–as it is the idea that someone thought it would be worthwhile to instruct teenagers in finding appropriate dating activities. This isn’t about how you get a girl to say “yes” in the first place; it’s not about proper dating etiquette (that’s the equally classic “Dating Dos and Don’ts,” which MST should have done); it’s about finding “suitable” activities based on…a bulletin board list? Were teen boys really that clueless? I’d like to think they weren’t, and that this is just another example of someone deciding that every aspect of one’s life needs to be spelled out in an educational short. I’d also like to imagine a post-class conversation going something like:
Nick: Hey, Kay, wanna go to a weenie roast on Saturday?
Kay: Geez, Nick, did you get that idea from that dumb dating movie you guys saw? You’re the third guy today who’s asked me to a weenie roast!
Nick: OK, how about the swim meet? Or a bike trip with a group? Plenty of other people around, and not too expensive. I hope you’re not one of those girls who expects a guy to take her anywhere nice.
Kay: Again with the movie suggestions! How about you come back to me when you come up with something original.
Nick: Sure, I guess so. I gotta go–it’s time for me to study Industrial Arts.
Please tell me life in the 50s veered somewhere between “What to Do on a Date” and “Swamp Diamonds”–there must have been a happy middle ground.
Early Corman, no less. “Spanish moss in Andalusia…” Joel throws in a little riff for all us owners of the London Calling double LP.
The ST:TOS sketch I think was my favorite non-theater piece of the Joel years, bar none. “I’m in love, Jim!” Was pinned to the screen with fascination watching Kirk and Co. as a tyke; now they provide endless chuckles.
The dating-advice short is hilarious, of course, but as often creeps into these there’s some core of decent advice in there. The big one is, “actually ask her what she wants to do”; when dopey kid tries asking Kay to see a particular movie he’s shot down fast and hard. Listening to your partner is one of those big “I don’t know why we have to keep explaining this, but clearly we do” things; a lost child of the 50s would do well to learn that lesson.
Then, too, the point that picking an activity doesn’t have to be something you over-orchestrate or plan obsessively or build up into a big production is also good advice, particularly for kids in the 50s when they might have a whole fifty cent piece to spend entertaining. It seems like it’s easy to get into a self-defeating “we can’t go do something, we don’t have something big enough to do ” loop, so, again, they’re well-served by the advice to just look around for stuff that’s going on anyway and go to that.
Also, activity dates where you do something like help the teen clubhouse organize a scavenger sale probably does offer the chance for experiences unique to your own relationship that, like, going to the movies don’t so much. You sure won’t forget when Kay bashes your head in with the hammer and four-ounce Coke bottle!
Dammit, Corman, why do you keep killing off Beverly Garland? She was the best thing about any of your films and you know it!
I never noticed Frank and Forrester’s super-long arms in the invention exchange until I saw a behind-the-scenes photo that revealed Mike sitting in the middle of them with one green sleeve and one black sleeve. It’s the same sort of low-budget trickery that gave us the Slinky Train in “The Sidehackers”.
I find this episode to be kinda average for the most part, but every so often it knocks one out of the park and leaves me in stitches. Whether in the short (“The story begins with Nick, and Kay…” “And a human ear!”, “No, you can’t eject puberty, it has to happen over time!”) or the movie (“Boy, the Banana Splits haven’t aged well”, “She’s at the Y!”, “There’s an extra leg in there!”). These Roger Corman episodes are such a struggle – the man had some decent ideas, but they were executed with such utter ineptitude that it’s just maddening to watch. In the hands of a competent director, I get the sense this movie would actually be pretty cool.
So how come Gypsy’s voice suddenly becomes a lot lower when she’s on the phone? Was Jim just too hard to understand through the speaker or something?
Joel’s Shatner impression kills me. “But! Does! Sheknowwhatshe’sgettingSPOOOCK?“
Great short (wish I had seen that when I was 15! ‘course, they didn’t have an activity list at my school neither…) Swamp Diamonds is a fun romp too. True to Corman form, lots of padding while wandering through the swamp. “remember, only one person killed each time we stop.”
I agree that as an undercover operation, this one is the most poorly-conceived since the Wild Rebels fiasco. I get that the police are interested in recovering the diamonds, but they are also apparently willing to risk the lives of innocent bystanders and more law enforcement, and even risk them getting killed by each other, just to get the diamonds back. And after all the corpses are dumped in the river, She-cop and proto-Mannix kiss like it was a success. really? And I was always confused as to why the girlfriend is considered so disposable; she mentions her daddy approves of him, and once they’re caught she selfishly panics. But he never seemed to like her much either, and seems only a little put out when she is dragged to her doom by a giant crocodile. Should I really just relax?
The last thing she did was save a life…the last thing she did was kill a snake. “redemption, ladies and gentleman…redemption.”
Gotta give this one a 5! Great movie, great short, and Beverly Garland!
Nick: “What if she says no?”
Crow: “Don’t worry – she will!”
It’s the Ku Klux Klowns! Boy the joy is just rolling off those clowns…
The host segment story arc that ends with Tom striking out is one for the ages! Possibly my favorite set of host segments ever.
For my money, The U View is the best invention ever done on the show and I loved the Star Trek intro as well. The U View is both hilarious and tragic, classic Frank! “I’m so glad I stayed at home with you watching Baywatch” is still a catch phrase any time a friend gets someone into an annoying situation. I agree that the hilarious short overwhelms the movie but Beverly Garland is good in anything and I always find Corman movies entertaining for MST. And is it bad that I have done Tom Servo’s “Huzzah fair maiden!” renfest routine on actual dates when procuring a drink?
Missed riffs:
Screenplay by David Stern – no riffs on the NBA commissioner?
When the undercover cop offers Touch a drink, it was begging for “Want some?”
Hey! i liked this episode!
i don’t want to fight for its honor or anything, but at least a 4 star-er…
I gotta say that the whole ‘the short overwhelms the movie’ thing is overblown, and yet people keep repeating it for certain episodes. If you asked me, I couldn’t even tell you what short was before Swamp Diamonds. That said, the short is great, but Swamp Diamonds is good too. What can I say? Any episode with a KISS “Lick It Up” reference is golden to me. Another solid Joel era episode always in rotation.
Fairly good ep with a strong short. Easily my favorite riff is “While these women sleep, a pasty film is being made.” For those of you too young to recall, there was an old Scope mouthwash ad that went “While this couple sleeps, a pasty film is covering their teeth and gums.” (or something like that).
It’s funny, I could have SWORN someone in Star Trek had uttered the line “I’m not going back, Jim!” in exactly the same tone as Brains said it. Next someone will tell me no one said “Spock! Help me!”
4 Stars
[Next someone will tell me no one said “Spock! Help me!”]
Go to 7:50
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBQkIoBx-VU
#59 – I think the whole life adjustment curriculum trend of the 40s-80s reflects our society’s postwar concerns with the changing face of youth culture, probably no more so than in the 50s. I’ve heard it explained as a function of children not having had their pops around during WW dos, and thus subsequently rebelling and not acting in the precisely prescribed ways youth would have been expected to. However, I find this argument a little specious, for the simple fact that it seems like too simple a cause explaining too large an effect. I’d rather go with the more Marxist reading that, due to the economic convulsions of the postwar world, American kids were gradually becoming what they pretty much are today – semiautonomous consumer agents, and therefore possessed of much greater power (in capitalist, exploitative terms) than they ever had before. I believe that power, in turn, led to kids rejecting the precisely prescribed roles set out for them, hence the life adjustment curriculum’s attempt to communicate and enforce those roles.
So, anyway, what I’m saying is, I don’t really believe that most kids in the 50s were as dopey as Nick in the short. I think the portrayal of young people in these things is far from documentarian in nature; rather, it is idealized, that is, a representation of young people for whom the often painful, destructive, and angry process of growing up has been safely cordoned off, ritualized in ways that would have been comfortable and agreeable to the white, middle class hegemony.
I’ve always loved the short. But like someone up there ^^^ said, dude get your own ideas (: but I loved the short. I loved the segments with Tom and them, it was awesome i laughed really hard when they were reading the letter xD <3
Id give the short 4 starts and the movie 3 starts :D
This was my first episode and I saw it as a rerun a few months after it initially aired. I was in 10th grade and I was just flipping through the channels and saw the silhouettes making fun of a bad movie and I was hooked. I didn’t see the short until years later and they are both classic!
I always dig the rough cuts. It makes me feel a lot better about my own media work to see people I greatly dig make the same mistakes as me.
Not like I’m laughing at their mistakes, more laughing with as I’ve done the same a hundred times over.
The short (like many) has good ideas in it. The problem with it is the whole Stepford Wives vibe: neat, clean, sterile, well behaved, kids enjoying scripted, supervised, authority approved and suggested activities. Kind of a “keep smiling or I’ll hit you” kind of thing.” Date with your family is even worse in this regard.
But yes, ask a person what they like to do if you want to date them. Also, don’t get hit by trains.
I love the way Tom calls Gypsy “Gyspy” in a wavering voice. I feel for him.
And please, “don’t touch Conners”.
I forgot my favorite line!
Gypsy: “What IS it? I’m really kinda EATING!”
I’m a good person – I’m a GREAT guy – I’ve got a lot to offer – this will be fun! I’m red!
I think the short overwhelms the episode because the host segments were all written around it, Rowsdower. The only other episodes I feel like were outshined by the short were Mr B Natural (because of how iconic it has become) and maybe the cheating short, since it also inspired all of the host segments.
Love the short – who doesn’t. In the top 5 for me, along with Mr. B, The Truck Farmer, Hired, and Why Study Industrial Arts. The actors are so wooden and dorky that they simply beg to be ridiculed. The writers had such great material to work with here and Joel, Trace, and Kevin don’t let us down when it comes to the delivery. The short has been analyed at length already, but I have to wonder if this thing was ever actually shown to classes of teenagers when it came out. I would like to think that teachers and school district personnel of the time would look at it and think it was not a good use of class time to show this drivel. It would be interesting to find someone who actually viewed this when it was created and see if they have any recollection of their impressions. Unlikely that anyone would actually remember it, but it would be a interesting.
The feature is great fun, in my opinion. What’s not to love about Beverly Garland and the gang trudging through a swamp with Touch Conners? Lots of great riffing and once we see the ladies in their shorts, we get a clear understanding of why this picture was made in the first place. I would give the episode a 4 out of 5.
schippers writes:
“I think the portrayal of young people in these things is far from documentarian in nature; rather, it is idealized, that is, a representation of young people for whom the often painful, destructive, and angry process of growing up has been safely cordoned off, ritualized in ways that would have been comfortable and agreeable to the white, middle class hegemony.”
Well said. The question is whether the teens themselves would have recognised the disparity between the world as represented for them in classroom films and the world as it really existed. I imagine most would have laughed it off–and I think Keith in WI has a good point that many teachers would have seen it as a waste of time. On the other hand, I’m sure there would have been those who suffered great anxiety that their experience of the world didn’t come close to the way it’s presented in the short, and other shorts of this ilk. Mind you, the same could be said of “Beverly Hills 90210,” which was about as real a representation of teen life as “What to Do on a Date.” That disparity, by the way, is exactly what the Brains seize on as the basis for their riffs, which is why they’re so memorable.
All this talk about “What To Do on a Date” might make a good Weekend Discussion topic. Since many of us MSTies are now middle-aged, it’s our turn to dole out advice to the young people of today (with their hula-hoops and loud rock n’ roll music, of course). Come up with a ten minute short to impart your wisdom.
Mine would be a dark one about the dangers of texting and driving called “OMG! Hnds on the wheel, plz”.
#79 – Yes, good point about the disparity – Joel’s “I hurt inside” flashes keenly on that, in addition to being really funny.
When I used to teach high school, I know that some of my stodgier fellow teachers stubbornly insisted (well, to my way of thinking) on representing an impossibly clean, orderly, and sensible reality to their students at all times. I could never understand that at the high school level, since really, you’d need to be REALLY cloistered in this day of media saturation to NOT have some sense of how ridiculous and absurd reality really is.
I’d be willing to argue that there were MORE teachers like that (even at the high school level) in the 50s, or at the least, if not numerically more, then of greater ardor in their cause.
And you’re absolutely right that lots of teachers found these life adjustment films ridiculous, even back then. And honestly, not just ridiculous but outright OFFENSIVE, because showing them took time away from legitimate academic pursuits.
I absolutely love the U-View visual gag. It’s one of those simple things I can’t get enough of. Why did they do it? Who cares, it’s funny. But if you just can’t drop it, assume Dr. F made some sort of Stretch Armstrong serum that he and Frank took just for the hell of it.
3 stars from Droppo.
I’m with the majority here (conform! conform!)…..the short is hilarious, the film is just OK.
“You looked in my book, didn’t you!”
I love using this short to introduce new people to MST3K. The movie, however, is more for seasoned veterans.
I know I am just reiterating a number of previous posts, so, “I sorry.”
Gonna join the chorus here, this is a so-so- episode, with a really good short, and a really dull movie. The riffing is okay, the Host Segments are enjoyable, but nothing really puts this one into the “great” or “classic” territory for me. SWAMP DIAMONDS is a pretty bad movie, a great example of Roger Corman as a CRUMMY director. This movie is chock full of padding, from the actresses’ braziers to the endless amount of swamp footage, nothing really happens in this movie. It’s more like, Swamp Diamondzzzzzzzz…..
Of note: Actress Marie Windsor, who played Josie in SWAMP DIAMONDS (aka: “Swamp Women” as well as “Cruel Swamp”), not only worked with Roger Corman in 1956, she also worked with Stanley Kubrick on his noir masterpiece, THE KILLING, where she played Elisha Cook, Jr.’s scheming, two-timing wife. She’s really good in THE KILLING, if by chance you’ve never seen it, do yourself a favor and remedy that. By the late 50’s and throughout the rest of her career Windsor would do a LOT of television shows, occasionally popping up in movies, like THE OUTFIT (1973), FREAKY FRIDAY (1976), and SALEMS’ LOT (1979) (which was a TV movie, but you know, whatevs..) Marie Windsor’s last IMDB credits are from 1991, and she passed away in 2000, at the age of 80.
–
RIFFS:
for some reason, I didn’t write down any riffs from the short, even though I though it was pretty funny, although not Top 5 Short funny as some people have suggested. My fave line was the same as Sampos, “Kay has worked on the kill floor. She knows where to deliver the blow,” which I believe was delivered by Crow..
–
the movie:
Servo: “To be like the Cor-Man. To live like the Cor-Man.”
Joel: “The Banana Splits haven’t aged very well, have they?”
Crow: “The Kids in the Hall escaped from prison!”
Crow: “Get over here, we just want to kill you a little bit.”
Servo: “I wonder what other names Touch Conners considered before he hit on ‘Touch?’
Crow: “Thrust?”
Joel: “Jab.”
Servo: “Fudge.”
Joel: “mmm…Crunch?”
Crow: “Blast.”
Servo: “Smidge.”
Joel: “Shout.”
Crow: “Batch.”
Servo: “um, Scrog?”
Joel: “Flake.”
Crow: “Wink.”
Servo: “Sploot.”
–throughout the episode, they do more, including but not limited to, “Grunt” and “Snake.”
–
in Host Segment #2, Servo’s stripped polo shirt had me laughing.
Also in HS#2, JoeL tells Crow that they’re gonna help Servo set up a Scavenger Sale for his date:
Crow: “Isn’t that a little weird, Joel?”
Joel: “Yeah. It is.”
–
after the girls get drunk and make shorts:
Joel: “The purpose of the movie revealed.”
when the girl is drowning in the pool doubling for the swamp,
Crow: “Just stand up, you’re in the shallow end.”
–
eh,
only a so-so episode,
sorry Beverley,
sorry Touch,
3/5
–
I always loved Crow saying “I like it here on Omicron Ceti III, Jim” in his Spock voice. Years later when I saw the Elias Sandoval episode of Star Trek, I was very disappointed to find Spock never said it.
I believe that the short, along with Last Clear Chance, are the two best shorts they ever did. The writing is fantastic, the delivery great, and the 50’s saccharine setting just tailor-made for riffing. What to do on a Date has been my go-to MST3K recruitment tool, and it has a phenomenal success rate. I think it’s popularity is easy to explain… less esoteric references that the uninitiated may be left feeling confused about (Aaron Copland and Blue Velvet are the only two I can recall), and more simple in-your-face hilarity at the expense of Nick. Seems like a pretty good formula.
I hurt inside.
I like this episode I found the U-View to be a great invention and I loved Gypsy’s and Tom’s date. The riffing on the short and movie were excellent, and this is one of my go-to episodes. I also like how the snippet of “Baywatch” coul have pased for a real episode.
The more I watch the short for this episode, the more I realize how much of it is just plain weird. The narrator is a perfectly bland guy discussing what any normal short about dating would cover, but other than that, we’ve got the strange casting of Nick as our love interest, with his lanky body and incredibly dopey voice. We’ve got the scenes of Kay talking to her friend which proves that he does not like Nick nearly as much as he likes her (“Oh, we get along all right”). We’ve got Jeff acting as some kind of father figure to Nick, the square dance scene filmed in an airport, and, my personal favorite, the complete randomness that is George, truly a necessity to all 1950s dating films. And Nick’s only joke, despite his so-calledgood sense of humor that Kay is endeared towards, is simply pulling out a stool and saying “Your table, madam”. Classic Nick.
Despite all that, though, this is a great background episode for me. The movie is easy to follow and has plenty of cheesy dialogue to stay entertaining, and the riffs are mostly solid (one of my favorite parts is the riffing on the Mardi Gras parade, “Welcome everyone to my corny kingdom!”)
Sampo, I think you missed a callback. At the end of the movie, Joel says, “The the end”, a reference to Attack of the the Eye Creatures.
Swamp Diamonds passes the Bechdel Test. There are multiple non-male conversations among Lee and the gang members.
Love those Vulcan ears Jef Maynard made for Crow.
Does screen within screen still exist, or did it die the death it deserved? I thought it was as pointless as connecting household appliances to the Internet.
Jil Jarmyn gets the dreaded Introducing credit (which gets remarked on in the riffing. According to IMDB, her acting career didn’t crash and burn in the way such afflicted actresses end up. But she spent most of it in TV, with nothing jumping out among her film credits.
What, no disapproving remarks about the performers in blackface?
Let’s keep in mind: a snake was shot and killed — on camera — in the making of this movie
Well I don’t see anything wrong.
Favorite riffs
You can’t inject puberty. It has to happen over time.
Boy, this is fun. What with the used lamps and the festoonery.
“Yes, it was a good idea to come here.”
At first.
You’ve got to watch out for those Axis artists.
Yes I’m a Q-Tip. Please do not insert me into your ear canal.
“You’re going to be pursued. Unsuccessfully, of course.”
Story of my life, sir.
It’s Lucy and Viv in the big house!
These women are actually escaping in Easy Spirit dress pumps.
Get over here. We just want to kill you for a minute.
Have you held your hostage today?
I remember the screen-within-a-screen feature. It was called Picture in Picture (PIP). One signal would be coming through the cable line, and the other signal would be routed through the VCR, fooling the TV into thinking there were two signals coming in. I tried it once, but found that with half my attention on each screen, I couldn’t really follow either one.
I have nothing at all to say about the movie. I’m sure I’ve seen it – it just slips right out of my head.
As to the short, though, it is a particular favorite of mine. The life adjustment curriculum movement was all the rage in schools at the time the short was made. The thinking was that kids needed all kinds of training on how to do things (wash your hands, eat your food, go on dates) that most people either learn from their parents or siblings or from trial and error. At any rate, anyone who says schooling today sucks should keep in mind that teachers are, for the most part, no longer wasting a bunch of class time showing filmstrips about weenie roasts.
Average episode for me. Yes, the short is pretty funny, but like a poster above, I don’t think it outshines the movie (I didn’t remember the short was there until I watched it, either). I always like Star Trek references, so the opening was great to me (misquoted or not). This may be the first time I ever noticed the stretchy arm gag, too, which made me laugh.
To me, the host segments in this ep are some of the best they’ve done. I loved the U-View skit, and poor Tom’s miserable attempt at dating Gypsy is hilariously painful. It also brings back a few memories from my own awkward youth. :)
This short is so ingrained in my memory from years of watching it on Rhino’s Shorts 2 compilation tape that I knew practically every riff by heart and it still makes me laugh today. I’ll leave the sociopolitical analysis for another day and just leave it with Joel’s words:
Gee, they’re a regular Tracy n’ Hepburn up there.
I actually didn’t think Gypsy was grumpy so much as a little bit sinister when Tom first calls her, particularly when she says “We leave when *I* say!”
But another sight gag that no one has mentioned that I liked was we see Joel making a sandwich during the date, and when the camera pans back over to him for “we’ll be right back” the sandwich is a foot and a half tall.
As for the movie, the title sequence and what looks like 16mm footage of Mardi Gras 1953 was more interesting.
#5: try asking a girl out to a weenie roast sometime…
Well, calling it “a hot dog roast” might go over a bit better. Then again, maybe she’d be impressed by the ability to say “weenie roast” with a straight face. ;-)
#51: I’ve always felt that Beverly Garland was too good of an actress to be in such schlock as this one
Everybody has to start somewhere. Or keep busy between “good” films. Quality or not, an actor must ACT.
“I’ve made some of the greatest films ever made – and a lot of crap, too.” — John Carradine
#61: The big one is, “actually ask her what she wants to do”; when dopey kid tries asking Kay to see a particular movie he’s shot down fast and hard. Listening to your partner is one of those big “I don’t know why we have to keep explaining this, but clearly we do” things
Well, really, I’d imagine that “pay attention to what a girl is saying” was a rather revolutionary idea for 1951.
First we had to explain Captain Ron, now the Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag.
If we have to explain the Squanto references once those start showing up, that’ll just create a great sense of disgust.
(Or maybe just jealousy for those kids too young to remember the days when it seemed like one out of every three movies at the cineplex had Martin Short in it…)
I actually like the movie more than the short. The short is great and all, but Swamp Diamonds is just so perfect for MST3K.
I agree with schippers that the movie itself has slipped right out of my mind. But Garland is good in anything and everything.
The short is a classic. I love these “Captain Obvious” shorts from the ’50s and ’60s — stand up straight, talk clearly, take a shower, don’t be an jerk.