Topic suggestion: MST3K movies that would have provided a better story than the plot used by LOST, if filmed with the LOST budget and aired on ABC over six years.
I’m not a hater or a diehard fan of LOST, but something in between. I liked the first season but stopped watching it because of all the interminable flashbacks. This idea came to me after watching “Final Sacrifice” for the first time two weeks ago, and realizing the story was about equal to the plot of LOST, give or take one shirtless model-turned-actor (Sawyer). But with a somewhat lower budget…heh heh. As I told my wife, who is watching LOST to the end, “It’s just a Mystery Science movie, stretched out over six years!”
Well, naturally, the obvious choice is episode 1011- HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND, which I think IS the same story (which I guess would make Babs Jacob). But I’m going to go with episode 320- THE UNEARTHLY. Who knows? Maybe somebody at the Dharma Initiative was inserting glands in polar bears!
Have at it!
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I think Red Zone Cuba has more plot than Lost.
big61al (#51):
Yeah, but “Lost” would probably have had a flashback, explaining eventually how they got from Cuba to… uh, wherever the heck the rest of the movie is supposed to be set.
“I liked the first season but stopped watching it because of all the interminable flashbacks.”
Said “interminable” flashbacks having been introduced in – wait for it – season one.
#48 – for what it’s worth, I’m following this thread as someone who hasn’t watched LOST, and I’ve posted that I haven’t seen it and really don’t have anything to add. The reason? I’m a die-hard fan of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000. That’s why I’m on this site, not on a LOST site.
How about a CSI-type show based on Teenage Strangler? Mikey could be a more prominent character, as could Lieutenant Anderson (that’s meeeee!!!)
Why not Yhe Crawling Eye? Via a flashback it could be revealed
that the Eyes rescued (while “Lost In Space”) some guy they
found drifting through the ether who kept on babbling about the good and the
beautiful. After enduring his philosophy for a while they
concluded that the only way to save the universe was to invade his home planet.
It’s official. We’ve run out of topics. ;-)
Outlaw would make good Lost fodder. Besides, every T.V. show needs a practically naked midget running around in it and an annoying sidekick.
Just so that the universe would implode, how about Space Mutiny in the style of the new Battlestar Galactica? Complete with effects stolen from BSG.
Werewolf done in the style of Twilight would rock too. It’s not like Kristen Stewart has that much more acting talent than Adrianna Miles.
MITCHELL.
Really scraping the bottom of the “Topic” barrel, huh.
#21 sure inferred an awful lot from the simple phrase, “I’ve never seen the show Lost”. It sounds like someone might have some serious insecurity issues and an inferiority complex.
#37–that reminds me, that’s exactly how i saw the premiere episodes also! (What can i say, i didn’t get ABC reception for a long time.) If there is a Rifftrax available for something there’s really no reason NOT to watch it, folks.
@ #61: I have to agree that this is a pretty thin topic for an MST3K discussion, but with 52 potential weekend discussion threads per year they can’t all be winners. With so many per year I guess there’s room for a few that are less relevant to MST3K than usual. It surely is a obtuse and a bit of a stretch. Hopefully it’s not a trend or soon we’ll be stretching even farther off-topic for weekend topics. If we’re going that route more often, and I hope we’re not, I nominate “MST3K cast members that could have played the part played by Elisha Cook in the Maltese Falcon” as a weekend discussion thread. :twisted:
How about this topic? Which MST’d movies could be run through the projector backwards and STILL make as much (non)sense?
#29
Actually there are a few LOST episodes that do involve some “rock climbing,” though not nearly as soul numbing.
I love LOST and MST3K and it’s a pity to read so much LOST nay-saying from my fellow Mysties: but to each there own.
I can’t think of an episode that completely fits, But Merlin’s Shop has some similarities: Merlin is kind of a Jacob figure (I think the Merlin actor’s name is actually Jacob) and Smoke Monster can be a cross between Evil Monkey and Merlin’s Trained Flatulence. :lol:
Wow the hostility coming from so many of you out there are flat out astonishing and extraordinary pathetic.
Remember these discussions are just for fun, take it easy and relax.
If you don’t have an opinion regarding the subject don’t write in just it say you don’t have an opinion that makes no scene at all.
That would be just as bad as someone writing in to complain that too many people are complaining about the topic… oh wait.
@ 50
Okay, let’s change the name to Future Wax.
It’s about a female surfer who spends her nights hunting replicants in downtown LA.
Think Blade Runner meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And to save more money, let’s scrap the dinosaurs. Instead we’ll use trained dogs, and say that the cyborgs have injected them with velociraptor DNA to make them the perfect hunters.
Finally, to replace our lost star power, we’ll cast Donny Most as the surfer’s wise old mentor.
I wouldn’t consider myself a “fan” of Lost, even though I’ve watched every episode. There is plenty wrong with that show that the fans let slide. Pretty much any MST3K episode where they visit another planet/world/reality would work. Fire Maidens of Outer Space had a weird cult that is comparable to The Others. And it had the evil version of Crow, Timmy, which could be a parallel to the new, evil version of Locke. The Undersea Kingdom shorts would also work. Cave Dwellers reminds me of season 1 in the Rape Caves. Pod People has monsters terrorizing those “rock star” campers. And they went back to a different time in The Undead. I’m not sure I completely understand this topic, but it’s an interesting idea.
Foamradio (#67): “Wow the hostility coming from so many of you out there are [sic] flat out astonishing and extraordinary [sic] pathetic.”
Sigh. And the irony meter pegs into the red.
Am I the only one who wishes The Master (aka Master Ninja I and II) had made it to six seasons?
@ Tamerlane @ #71
Would Lee Van Cleef made it 6 seasons before killing Timothy Van Patton?
I say a toss-up between Terror from the year 5000, or Hobgoblins.
Terror from 5K has the time travel machine, which could have been what Ben Linus turned in season 5? I think. It also was on an island kinda. The scientists could be the Dharma people. I’d have to go back an watch more of the movie but it could work.
Hobgoblins…those are definitely the “others” The old man security guard is Jacob and the the younger helpers were Richard and Ben. Then you have the teenagers who are the 815ers. The army guys van..that’s the VW van that Hugo was driving the 815ers went back in time to the time when Dharma was building everything.
How about Samson vs the Vampire Women instead of True Blood?
Maybe lurking inside this weak Topic there is a better one. Scanning the list of previous topics I do not see one that says “What else do we watch ?” ( but maybe I missed it ).
@71 & 72-LOL. Max Keller does sound like a combination of Rocky Balboa and Daffy Duck so if the show was on the Cartoon network it might last six seasons.
WORST….
TOPIC….
EVER….
Part of the problem ( if indeed there is a problem ) with this topic is that with the shift away from traditional broadcast TV viewing is that today’s so-called “TV Mega-Event” will be watched by a relatively small percentage of the population compared to the good/bad old days when the final episode of MASH or the birth of Little Ricky Ricardo or Elvis or the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, when measurably large chunks of the US population were tuned it.
Broadcast TV ( even if it is high-quality, popular TV ) just doesn’t have the universal penetration it once had.
I’m going to have to agree with some others here and say that I’m just not feelin’ this Discussion Thread. In fact Sampo I almost wish you would’ve just did the “Riffs that make you want to slap M&TB or J&TB” suggestion you had for your “Blood Waters Of Dr. Z” post or just use another thread idea.
For another look at some people’s apathy towards “Lost” please check the following link:
“Lost:The Questions We Don’t Actually Care About” –
http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/lost-the-questions-we-actually-dont-care-about–1266
Time of the Apes.
It already seemed to go on for years. Had many of the same goofy elements. Fake endings, aliens you name it TotA has it all.
My pick would have to be “The Crawling Eye.” Yes, I know they’re not holed up on a desert island in that movie, but hell, take away the veiny brain thing on the back of the eye, and you’ve GOT the monster from “Lost!”
BTW, the observatory on the top of the mountain makes a good substitute for a desert island. At least they’re holed up at an isolated place.
#75 Medium – Now that’s a better idea. I guess it’s okay by me if the discussion threads waver from specifically MST3k, but it would be nice if they didn’t exclude folks who haven’t watched LOST. And I’m not judging any poor sap that’s wasted years of his or her life watching that pitiful excuse for a show. :lol: I kid, I kid…
hmmmmm we are looking in the wrong direction here. from what I gather about Lost ( which is little ) MST3K ITSELF should be the subject matter of Lost.
A group of indviduals wake up to find that they are on a sateliite, observed by renegade scientists of Gizmonics, and they eventually leartn that when they see movie sign they better get into the theater.
sometimes they try to figure out why ( during the host segments ), but as long as the movies keep coming, who cares ?
Lost = garbage, MST = the best TV show ever. Forget that nonsensical dreck (like I did after 2 seasons) and spend the extra time watching more MST. Why is this thread even here?
This discussion topic is as convoluted as the plot of Lost itself… Now I’m going to go take some LSD and watch Santa Claus for the 300th time… “No Lupita!”
@ #78, “with the shift away from traditional broadcast TV viewing is that today’s so-called “TV Mega-Event” will be watched by a relatively small percentage of the population compared to the good/bad old days…”
You’ve hit that nail on the head. No single TV show brings in the overwhelming majority of American viewers as once was the case. As for me, I rarely watch anything on the major broadcasts networks any more. Everything I watch with regularity is on cable networks. There hasn’t been a broadcast program that appealed to me or my spouse in many years.
I suggested this whole topic, so I’ll take full responsibility for both its awesomeness and WORST TOPIC EVER-ness. I forgot to mention in my original email that this train of thought was prompted by finding out that the six years of mysteries on Lost boiled down to . . . a job search. I’m a writer myself, so I know full well that lots of great books/movies/TV shows sound really silly when summed up briefly in those awful pitch lines you need to sell your work (“Gilligan’s Island Meets the Horrors of Spider Island! With Polar Bears! On Acid!”), and it’s the journey, not the destination, etc. But–and sorry, former fellow LOST fans–I just meant that the plot of Final Sacrifice was at least as clever as Lost, hence the line to my wife that it was just a MST3K movie all along. Also, Final Sacrifice was a student film made for like $2,000, and Lost had somewhat more resources.
“The Ziox were far more advanced–” “No they weren’t!” “–and constructed buildings larger than the pyramids–” “No they didn’t!” lol
#4 MANOS… my god, the world is (still) not ready for that sort of punishment. Manos stretched out over six years??? I’m clawing my eyes out at the thought, and having been to West Texas many times, I’m going to shoot myself in the face for good measure.
#13 Killer Shrews: Brilliant! I’ll also throw in Empire of the Ants, from 1977 with Joan Collins (but un-MST’d), which has been playing recently on one of the HD movie channels for reasons entirely beyond me.
I don’t get the point of this topic. A tv show has a series finale and now we have to somehow connect it to MST3k? What about Heroes? Or Law & Order? Will there be discussions about if Pumaman was a better superhero than Hiro? Or compare Mitchell and Brisco? If you don’t like LOST, fine no one is forceing you to watch it. It just looks like someone wanted their 15 minutes of internet fame so they sent in a discussipn topic trying to shoehorn MST3k into a popular show having it’s series finale this weekend. Hell why not have a discussion about if the sol could defeat a Star Destroyer cause it’s the 30th anniversary of Empire.
@ #32 Monoceres4
“Remember X-Files? Remember how all the best episodes were the “monster of the week” ones and all the episodes furthering the big conspiracy plot were sort of lame?”
Actually I remember it the opposite way, for me the spooky monster episodes were like an updated riff on ‘Kolchak: The Night Stalker’ show from the 1970s, and the ufo/conspiracy episodes tied into a storyline I totally enjoyed.
It just depends on what you like, one isn’t necessarily objectively better than the other. For me the suspense of a convoluted plot can be really enjoyable, but it’s a risk because it can be disappointing & then you feel like you’ve wasted a lot of time.
Well now I’m going over to the Lost website and write a discussion thread about Mystery Science Theater just to even it up.
i vote for ‘Outlaw of Gor’ as a potential big time TV epic to replace and dare i say it surplant ‘Lost’ in the collective mind of society.
Hear me out:
season 1- kind of a buddy thing Cabot and Barney Rubble go from town to town were Cabot sulks at various bars And Barney strikes out. season ends with them going to the other dimension.
season 2- guys wander the desert alll season long with Barney saying ‘Cabot! Cabot!’
season ender: they find the old guy and hot chicks.
season 3- Cabot lamprey kisses his main squeeze, dancing, happy pig and midgets in barrels. season ends with old guy gets it and Cabot has to run for it.
season 4- Cabot and his ‘little buddy’ wander the desert allll season long with little guy saying ‘Cabot! Cabot!’ Meanwhile in prisoned, Barney squeals like an unhappy pig after he meets his cellmate the Hunter. Season ender: Cabot plans his big revenge.
season 5- gets cancelled in lieue of a Jonas brothers Osmond family variety hour.
Six seasons of Gemini Man (Riding with Death)! There’s a lot of harsh in this world that needed mellowed.
dylan stalnaker (#88): “It just looks like someone wanted their 15 minutes of internet fame so they sent in a discussipn [sic] topic trying to shoehorn MST3k into a popular show having it’s [sic] series finale this weekend.”
If that’s true, wouldn’t it be just as true (and insulting) to say that everyone who sends in any kind of discussion subject is “someone want[ing] their 15 minutes of internet fame,” and therefore, for modesty’s sake, everyone should stop suggesting subjects? Or is someone only a fame whore if they send in a topical subject? Or only if they send in a subject you, personally, don’t like?
“Now you’ve given me the horrible vision that someday, J.J. Abrams will produce and direct the big summer tentpole movie, “Mystery Science Theater 3000?
This is worse- a Roland Emmerich feature!
I liked the first 3 seasons of “Lost” then I missed a couple of episodes and you can’t catch up unless you go back and watch the seasons. I’d go with (Really Old) “Teenagers From Outer Space” Each week we’d watch to see how Derek and Betty were keeping one step ahead of Thor while trying to thwart the invasion of the dreaded Gargan herds all the while knowing that if they were caught they’d be returned to Dereek’s planet for torcha !!!!!!! I’d watch that.
Don’t really have an answer to this one, since I actually loved the endless complexities and convolutions of Lost’s storylines. Wait, love MST3K AND love Lost? Yes, it IS possible to do both! (Or do I have to apologize for that?)
Teenagers From Outer Space isn’t a bad idea, but
as they threaten to torcha! the 30 something teenagers
Kenny could ride to their help with Godzilla and Jet Jaguar
while singing:
WE JOCKS THEY MADE OF STEEL
EAT SUSHI FROM A PAIL
JET JAGUAR ? JET JAGUAR !
HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM
HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
WE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT LIKE TO SMASH THAT TORTURER AGAINST A ROCK
didn’t watch the show personally… but based on my knowledge (which is due to my friends watching and talking) Lost continent? maybe
1st spaceship on venus?
Bloodlust! ?
that’s my contribution.
if my response seems stupid to those of you who watched… remember… apply GENTLE pressure.
#95 Fred P – I know I’d be willing to watch Betty for six seasons (ME-OW!)
Despite all the hostility it’s created, I love this topic!
My vote is for “Puma Man: The Series”. Of course, to distinguish it from “The Greatest American Hero” the producers would have to take the story in a completely different direction. I suggest the following:
While defying “all the laws of physics”, Tony is killed when a seagull crashes into his face (a la Fabio) driving his nose into his brain. Vadinho goes in search of a successor and convinces a college student (played by Scott Baio) that HE is the Puma Man. By episode’s end, Baio-Puma Man is dead as well after accidentally ripping open his chest cavity, having not realized that his “hands are claws”.
Each week a new washed-up actor is brought in to take up the mantle of Puma Man, with Vadinho’s stories growing more and more convoluted and ridiculous (a la LOST) with each passing season. Just imagine all the TV stars of yesteryear being thrown from windows as the determined and somewhat crazy Vadinho continues his quest.