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Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight CardsAlert reader Perry suggests:
I’d pick Buzz from “Mr. B Natural” vs. John from “Cheating.” I envision an epic slap fight. What’s your pick? And keep those WDT ideas coming! 98 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight Cards”Commenting at Satellite News
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All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2024 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2024 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
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I’m going to go way out on a ledge here and propose a tag-team bout pitting Prof. Neon and Heathcliff against Dr. Forester and TV’s Frank.
This one’s a natural: The giant tarantula from “Earth vs. the Spider” against the giant mantis from “Deadly Mantis”. Loser becomes dinner.
Going outside the universe for the opponent, but
Robot Holocaust’s Guacamole Wilson battles Violet “The Giant Blueberry” Beauregard (from Willy Wonka) for the Transubstantiated Vegetable Champion of the World.
Wait, have we ever seen Prof. Neon and Dr. F in the same place?
Santa Claus vs Santy Claus for the Christmas Unified Championship (CUC)!
The winner takes on Santa from Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
Round 1: Ator (Cave Dwellers) vs Deathstalker (Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell)
Round 2: Cabot (Outlaw) vs Kai (Robot Holocaust)
Round 3: Alan Steel Hercules (Hercules and the Moon Men) vs Steve Reeves Hercules (Hercules, Hercules Unchained)
Round 4: Reg Park Hercules (Hercules and the Captive Women) vs Mickey Hargitay Hercules (The Loves of Hercules.)
Round 5: Torgo (Manos) vs Tor Johnson (The Beast of Yucca Flats)
Round 6: John Peter McAlister (Master Ninja) vs Fu Manchu (Castle of Fu Manchu)
Round 7: Teenage Caveman vs Eegah
Round 8: The Aztek Mummy (The Robt vs The Aztek Mummy) vs Puma Man.
Round 9: The winner of Round 3 vs the Winner of round 4, to decide who is the one true Hercules.
Love this one.
Prince of Space vs. Space Chief in an all out jumping about frolic frenzy!
This has been a GREAT topic. Now it’s time for some thoughtful reconsideration. I’d like to commemorate Allison Hayes’ FOUR MST appearances with a very special, $250 per ticket Pay-Per-View.
The magnificent Miss H, in a tasteful knock-off of Marinda’s outfit in Deathstalker, wrestling one of the invisible warriors Ator took on so bravely in Cave Dwellers.
For about thirty minutes.
I was going to suggest Jonathon Haze vs Allison Hayes, but Corman already gave us that in “Gunslinger”, when Little Man attacked Erica Page.
The titular Teenage Werewolf vs the Native American “warwilf” from “Werewolf”.
Alternately, we could pit Dr. Brandon (Teenage Werewolf) against Yuri (Werewolf). Just don’t let Yuri bring any prehistoric werewolf skulls into the ring.
Mr. B vs. Nuveena- let the nightmares begin!
Speaking of the circus, the clowns from Here Comes The Circus vs. Olsen and Johnson from Johnny At The Fair- no matter who loses, everyone wins.
Also, Old Man Crenshaw vs. Old Time Billy Slater.
William Sylvester’s Sam Slade in Gorgo, versus the hateful harbor master in Gorgo… they were “this close” to an all-out brawl in the film… BRING IT ON!!!! “How Green Was My Valley” Sean can be the ref!
The Creature from “Boggy Creek II” vs Gulfax from “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom” — a Bigfoot-wannabe vs a Chewbacca-wannabe. Watch the fur fly!
I think the ultimate battle would be between Lt. Lamont in Space Mutiny and the carnival barker in The Incredibly Strange Things. Admittedly, neither one puts up much of a fight, but they always come back for more.
Wilbur the angel from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” vs the guardian angel from “X Marks the Spot”
The (impish) Police Officer of Death from “Last Clear Chance” vs the Deacon of Death from “Days of Our Years”
Squishy Judy from “Young Man’s Fancy” vs Hysterical Peggy from “Is This Love?”
The Screaming Skull vs Yorick’s skull vs Mr. Beardsley’s skull
Torgo vs Ortega
My money is on the guardian angel from “X Marks the Spot”! That guy looks and sounds like he’s spent time in the ring.
Bart Fargo vs. Bryan “Super Dragon” Cooper. The chicken men of Krankor vs. the Neptune Men. Dr. Leopold vs. the Creature from the Black Lagoon. John Peter McAllister vs. Diabolik.
also Leopold vs The She-Creature
how about the Amazing Colossal Man vs the Amazing Transparent Man vs the Incredible Melting Man
maybe even the Thing That Couldn’t Die vs the Brain That Wouldn’t Die
or perhaps the Crawling Eye vs the Crawling Hand
the Creeping Terror vs Terror From the Year 5000
the Horror of Party Beach vs the Horrors of Spider Island
Danger! Death Ray!! vs Laserblast
the Phantom Creeps vs the Phantom Planet
the Deadly Mantis vs the Deadly Bees
(I can do this all night)
But I think the most terrifying matchup of godly powers would be Coily the Spring Sprite vs Mr. B Natural, the Spirit of Music
Puma the cat vs Xerxes the cat
Puma the cat vs the Puma Man
PYOOMA!?
I want to see Torgo vs. the Beast of Yucca Flats. Each with a stick.
Chunk Ironchest from 12 to the Moon vs. Slab Bulkhead from Space Mutiny.
The Incredible Melting Man vs. The Indestructible Man: Can IMM vanquish Lon Chaney, Jr. before he finishes melting? Place your bets at the window!
Trumpy vs. one of the Laserblast turtle aliens, with a lot of unintelligible trash talk.
Fingers O’Toole vs Droppo in a cage filled with props. Rakes, ladders, Toy boxes, Briefcases, Skateboards etc
Daddy-O’s Sidney Chillas vs Attack of the Giant Leeches Cal Moulton in the Butter Pit.
Ross Allen with both hands tied behind his back vs Pewma the Cat, Tibby the Turtle, Tommy’s Joe the Hamster, kitten and rabbit. Pepe the ape owl, Henry the Hamster, Sparky the dog, Peppy the dog, Shep the dog, Xerxes the cat, Tor Johnson’s pet rabbit, Chris the Dog, King the Dog, The Invisible Guinea Pigs, The Deadly Bees, Miffy the Cat and Sparkle the Dog, Crenshaw’s Mad Goat, Ty the Lizard. Betty White and Brigitte Bardot will referee.
Live from Monumental Plaza de Toros in Tijuana, in a South-of-the-Border Battle-of-the-Beasts, it’s Glenn “The Colossal Beast” Manning vs. The Beast of Hollow Mountain. Spectators in the first 36 rows are warned that they could be crushed or splashed with dinosaur spittle at any time during the contest.
The winner gets to eat the Beast of Yucca Flats.
No Paul “Projected Man!” Steiner?
There’s always the Amazing Colossal Man, Glenn Talbot, I mean, Manning.
ADDENDUM: Oh, I see someone already mentioned Glenn. Oh well.
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Space Mutiny’s Lt. Undead Lamont vs. Escape 2000’s Nosferatu Woman, Vampire from Outer Space against Vampire from Brookl, uh, the Bronx.
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Several annoying movie kids come together to re-enact “Battle Royale.” No matter who loses, the audience wins…
Battle of the evil queens with evil queen Samara from Hercules Against The Moon Men vs. evil queen Onfale from Hercules and the Captive Women. 2nd match is Antea from Hercules and Cleolanta from Rocky Jones.
Pitch from “Santa Claus” vs the Devil from “The Undead”. I think it would devolve into a dance-off.
Winners of these two matches fight each other, with the winner taking on the evil Laura from Outlaw. Winner of this championship bout gets a night with Whatney Smith. Loser gets a week with him.
Torgo vs Lobo
The Panther Woman vs the Leopard Lady! Oh, wait…
Oh, and Krankor vs Eddie Deezen. Let poor Chickenman win one for a change.
“Your weapons are useless AGGGGGHHHHH!”
Aunt Mary vs Big Daddy – Top secret match. Use code words when discussing
Lucinda vs Malla – Old wounds never heal.
High School Big Shot Marv Grant vs Arch Hall Jr – Just try and watch.
Zombie Nightmare’s Psycho Jim Batten vs Bob ‘Moon’ Mooney – This one’s gonna hurt
Moustache vs. Moustache
Phantom of Krankor taking on Voldar.
ADDENDUM
Mike and the Bots calling the Escape 2000 reporter a vampire becomes marginally ironic…or something…when you take into account that per the IMDB her name is “Moon”…”Moon Grey,” in fact. Which…really sounds more like a werewolf name, now that I think about it. :-)
Battle of the Primates:
*Pepe (Time of the Apes) vs. Alexander (Carnival Magic)
*The Boggy Creek Monster (Boggy Creek II) vs. Bigfoot (Cry Wilderness)
*The Cymbal Monkey (Merlin’s Shop) vs. the “GET YOUR TICKETS HERE” Monkey (The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies)
The Mirror Image Smackdown Event
Round 1: Professor Crevett (The Crawling Eye) vs. J.J. Hubbard (Moon Zero Two)
Round 2: Admiral King (Women of the Prehistoric Planet vs. Jim Graff (Agent for H.A.R.M.)
Round 3: Dr. Lorenz (The Corpse Vanishes) vs. Dr. Vornoff (Bride of the Monster
Round 4: Sheriff Townshend (The Crawling Hand) vs. Sheriff Jones (The Ginat Spider Invasion)
Round 5: Penny Lowe (Untamed Youth) vs. Silver Morgan (Girls Town)
Round 6: J.C. (Side Hackers) vs. Sergeant Ward (IT Lives By Night)
Round 7: Willie Tatlow (Lost Continent) vs. Pill Box (Radar Secret Service)
Round 8: George Benedict (Stranded in Space) vs. Commander Jansen (Space Mutiny)
Round 9: Sidney Chillas (Daddy-O) vs. Scroop (The Undead)
Round 10: Paul Nelson (It Conquered the World) vs. Ed Wainwright (Beginning of the End)
Round 11: Asmild (Viking Women and the Sea Serpent) vs. Betty Scott (Bloodlust)
Round 12: Doug McCadden (Being from Another Planet vs. Sam Casey (Riding with Death)
Round 13: Prosser (Warrior of the Lost World) vs. Dr. Kobras (The Puma Man)
Round 14: Vera (Swamp Diamonds) vs. Rose Hood (Gunslinger)
Round 15: Kitty Reed (I Accuse My Parents) vs. Terry Williams (Last of the Wild Horses)
Round 16: Mitchell (Mitchell) vs. Geronimo (Final Justice)
Round 17: Xenos (outlaw) vs. Farrell (Angels Revenge)
Round 18: Clete Ferguson (Revenge of the Creature) vs. Roger Bentley (The Mole People)
Round 19: Ted Erickson (She Creature) vs. Brack (This Island Earth)
Round 20: Mark English (Devil Doll) vs. Sam Slade (Gorgo)
Round 21: Danny McKee (The Time Travelers) vs. Henry McDade (Avalanche)
Round 22: Bowen Tyler (The Land That Time Forgot vs. David Innes (At the Earth’s Core)
completely utterly and totally off-topic
I just happened to remember this question that I keep forgetting to ask.
During the Joel years, one of the hallway doors, when opening or closing, made a noise that sounded like “PIZZA!”
What was that all about?
Thank you. :-)
I went back & had a listen, and no, what the door actually says is
“Joel loves movies and sometimes pokes gentle Mr Rogersly supportive affectionate fun at them whereas Mike hates movies and all who love them”.
Huh.
Make up your own Doors Of Perception joke I guess, I got stuff to do.
Yongury vs. Reptilicus
Jet Jaguar vs. The Sea Monster
Brown vs. Board of Education
Gamera vs. Godzilla
…..ya know, I wish we could get Beyond Thunderdome…..
Off topic: The first issue of the comic book is out today.
Lodac’s dragon Vs. the three headed one from “Sword and the Dragon”.
The Couch from “Spring Fever” Vs. the Couch that Jaime’s dad lays on in “What about Juvenile Deliquency?”
Gare