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Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Performance by an ActorLast week we did actresses. Ladies first. This time it’s guys’ turn.
Worst performance by an actor? My pick is a little rough, because he’s recently deceased, but I gotta say it: Ray Dennis Steckler, aka Cash Flagg in “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.” Whatever his merits as a director (and we’ll discuss that next week) as an actor he makes Hal Warren in “Manos” look like Lawrence Olivier. What’s your pick? 140 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Performance by an Actor”Commenting at Satellite News
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Man, this is a toughie. Kevin from Hobgoblins was so annoying, stupid, and useless I wanted to hit him repeatedly with a 2X4, preferably one with several rusty nails attached to it. The Peter Graves lookalike in Viking Women and the Sea Serpent was so distractingly lifeless, I wondered if he were on a permanent Vicodin drip or if someone had dropped a cement block on his head. Joe Don gets a nod, of course, just because he is huge, greasy, upsetting, and probably smells like pork rinds. And he can’t act at all, the hammy bastard. Bugger. I can’t choose.
How could I forget:
Ben Murphy in “Riding with Death” and “Being From Another Planet”
**or**
Daniel Bernhardt in “Future War”
Both are so wooden you could chop them up and build a shed.
The correct answer is, and always will be, Troxartis.
Michael Pataki as JC in Sidehackers. He was bad in K15 and 1010 too. But he was good as the hippie cop in that episode of All in the Family.
@ Thomas K. Dye: OOH! Good call on Carl Anthony from The Sinister Urge! He is definitely in the running for most wooden line reader!
Another contender for that award would be Sam Chew Jr. from Being From Another Planet (the annoying yes-man to the Dean) who was a master of halting/wooden line delivery! :lol:
#46: Great choice in Peter Graves! I realized while watching IT CONQUERED THE WORLD last night, however, that I find Graves’ undeniably wooden yet wholly earnest delivery weirdly appealing. I guess I am now accounting for what I look for in bad acting, or something.
“Biography!”
Robert Ginty in Warrior Of The Lost World.
Seriously. He didn’t even TRY. He said all of his lines in the same dull, barely audible tone. Never is there any emotion expressed, nor any inflection on any words or syllables. It’s not like he tried and failed miserably; he was just really, really, really BAD.
Neil Connery in Operation Double 007.
For me, it’s a toss up between Robert Ginty in Warrior of the Lost World and Tim Van Patten in my all-time favorite episodes, Master Ninja I and II.
Ginty might be the most unappealing action star of all t….sorry. My apologies to Joe Don.
Tim’s speech impediment and “charisma” make him my all-time favorite leading man in a MST3K.
Depends on what you’re going for:
Worst performance = Ginty
Most enjoyably bad = Tim
Supporting actors are too numerous to name them all. Highlights are Torgo, Droppo and Sid Melton.
The SGA kid with no ribcage from the “Cheating” short who tells young Billy that: “You don’t want to go to that meeting.”
Or the guy from The Giant Gila Monster who keeps trying to get the sheriff fired and who’s only acting skill is to occasionally point/gesture at his own chest.
Or the kid with the red shorts in Hobgoblins.
Or the lead actor in Parts: The Clonus Horror who looks like he’s whimpering in every scene.
Or the older guy who demands that the police stop trying to shut down smut in The Sinister Urge. (Although I kind of liked him as Grandpa in Teenagers From Outer Space.)
As much as I admire his status as an ancillary Ed Wood – stock player, Harvey B. Dunn’s turn as the grandfather in Teenagers From Outer Space was abhorrent.
It Stinks !
#60 – Observer…my comment about ‘Grandpa’ was in no way predicated by your comment on same; as luck would have it, we apparently were typing our two cents worth at the same time ! Spooky, huh ?
#61 & #62 Ed Wood moves the universe in mysterious ways…
I guess one crucial point in separating the chaff from the chaff to determine what the ultimate bad performance is is determining the factors that contribute to a bad performance. Handicapping. Richard Kiel was ideal for certain roles. Moviemakers could see that he couldn’t act but he was still big so normal laws of competition didn’t apply.
Robert Ginty has no such excuse but it occurs to me that he might have been told to act the way he did because my theory is that his character was supposed to be inspired by Snake Plisskin in Escape from New York but maybe the dialogue the way it was written made that hopeless, on top of the fact that Ginty isn’t even as good an actor as Kurt Russel.
The guy who played Micahael in Manos was probably a contender but, again, some blame might conceivably be put on the writing.
Lance Fuller is among the ones who really just can’t have put the blame on anyone else for his performance. He was unabetted. Chester Morris, the guy who played Carlo Lombardi, was a classical Hollywood actor so it can’t be argued that his task was less thankless than the guy who played the hero. And he they way he acted you would never have guessed how embarrassed he was.
So how many of these actors aren’t obviously handicapped. You find the worst of them and you have your man.
Dean Hagopian as the medical examiner in “Zombie Nightmare”. The bizarre nasally accent he used drives me nuts.
My nominees, starting with Season One (excluding the KTMA season:
Season One: Paul Gilbert as Lt. Bradley, Women of the Prehistoric Planet. (“Hi-keeba!”)
Season Two: Michael Pitaki as J.C., The Sidehackers. (Just a loathsome performance by an otherwise talented character actor).
Season Three: Timothy Van Patten as Max Keller, Master Ninja I & II. (“Hi, I’m Mathx Kellah”)
Season Four: John Reynold as Torgo: Manos: The Hands of Fate.(“I’m Torgo, I take care of the place while the Master is away”)
Season Five: Joe Don Baker as Mitchell: “Mitchell” (To quote Crow, “My-my-my-my-GAWD!!”)
Season Six: Anthony Cardoza as Harry Rowe: The Skydivers (He looked like he was on downers throughout the entire film).
Season Seven: Rondo Hatten as “The Creeper”: The Brute Man. (I feel like I’m picking on him since he overcame a serious deformity to have a decent acting career, but this is such a painful performance nonetheless)
Season Eight: Ray Dennis Steckler as Jerry: “The Incredibly Strange Creatures…” (I can’t improve on Sampo’s description of his performance, other than one word: “Ugh!”)
Season Nine: Bruce J. Mitchell: Zap Rowsdower: “The Final Sacrifice” (“Rowsdower!”)
Season Ten: Tom Pace as “Buzz”: Girl in Gold Boots (“Yak-boy”)
And the winner is (drumroll…)
Joe Don Baker, Mitchell! As oily as that baby oil on his nightstand in the movie (“shudder”).
The father/son duo of Charles and Chuck Pierce in “Boggy Creek 2: And the Legend Continues.” Often seen shirtless and/or in clothing too tight even for Madonna, the characters these two portray couldn’t find a UFO if it landed right in front of them. Their ‘us versus everyone else’ attitude extends even to their research assistants, with whom the bean pole “Tim” wouldn’t even have had a chance of romantic pursuits. Not that he seemed to have any inclination, anyway…
Surprisingly, I would nominate the fellow who played ‘old man’ Crenshaw for a “Best Actor” Oscar. He seems very into his role, perhaps method acting, and is the only actor in the film who seems to understand that he is indeed playing a role, not just saying lines. Lord a’mercy, he gots to tend to his fires.
C’mon. Coleman Francis in Red Zone Cuba! Such a horrible, unemotional job. I could’ve done better, and I’ve never acted in anything ever.
Reb Brown. Not just for his screaming, but for his distracted looks during the “Doctor Lady” scene. He repeats it later when he disproportionally blurts out “Hey, I don’t need this!” Was he trying to find the cue card?
Reading from top to bottom:
#10: (5 way tie.) Jack Palance, Jim Backus, Alan Hale, Pat Butrum, and Peter Lawford. All these men have actually been in good movies before, but time and age do things to a man. It was clear thay all needed work and a paycheck. (Or as Dr. F put it, “In lieu of pay they worked for scotch”)
#9: (2 way tie.) John Phillip Law and Reb Brown. They must have had a rivalry on set of “Space Mutiny” to see who could overact the worst. Reb narrowly wins with his girly scream.
#8: Thom Christopher. Just look at the scene in “Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell” where he taunts his undead soldiers. Need I say more?
#7: Arch Hall Jr. Whiny, oily and pink. Yep, lets make him our films hero.
#6: Lance Fuller. Sad? Angry? Verklempt? Gassy? WHAT?
#5: The Gesture Professor from “The Mole People”. I wonder how many takes the director did of his scene before he said “Screw it! We’ll just use this one and move on! Where the hell did they find this idiot?”
#4: Anthony Cardoza. As nuanced and interesting as a brick, but at least I could understand what he was saying. Unlike…
#3: Robert “The Paper Chase Guy” Ginty. “Mummmblle mmummer fummmerb mubbemble flummbler.”
#2: Tor Johnson. Basically a boulder that God stuck legs on and commanded to walk. He stumbles around looking like hes unsure of what to do next. His one line “Time for go to bed!” makes you understand why he was kept mute for most of his roles.
And the winner is…!
#1: The ‘Monster’ from “Monster A Go-G0”. His performance so bad it was non-existant. Literally! He was never there! They even said so at movies end!
Well there you are, my choice for worst male actors. But, just for juxtoposition, my choice for best male actor; Gene Hackman in “Space Tavelers”. As Joel said “He’s good in anything.”
I think I’m going to change my answer from earlier, I did have Matthew Bruch from Time Chasers, but I have to say I forgot about Arch Hall Jr. His performance was memorable in all the wrong ways. However, if you’re longing for more Arch Hall Jr., he’s not quite as bad in The Sadist, but still worse than most performances by B movie actors. Also check out The Nasty Rabbit, which is probably about as bad as Eegah if not worse.
Bob Dornan in The Starfirghters.
Oh…Worst ACTOR! I thought it was for Worst Human Being.
Another vote for Reb Brown here. #69 Bartcow has it right about his “Hey, I don’t need this” line. Reb was so terrible that he made Calgon look good in comparison.
I gotta also agree with #67 Pemmican, especially where it concerns “no shirt necessary” Tim. He doesn’t over-emote like Calgon or Reb, but that’s because he lacks the ability to emote. Tim’s delivery is the stuff of legend…of boggy creek 2.
I could never decide on worst lead actor, but there’s one supporting player I’m suprised hasn’t been mentioned: The guy who played Stark in the first episode–I mean first half of Riding With Death. Most MSTed actors require an entire movie to deliver the amount of ineptitude he spewed out in just six words:
“NooOOOO?!?! This can’t beeeEE?!?! You’re deeEAAAAD?!?!”
I’m sorry to miss the point by offering more defenses of my indecision than nominations for worst _________ in these threads, but I must speak up just a bit for the late Ray Dennis Steckler. No, not because I’m afraid he’s still fresh enough that Carmelita could raise him from the dead to avenge himself on his detractors. It’s easy to direct more hate at his performance than is actually due since, like Hal Warren and Coleman Francis, he’s the lead/writer/producer, and therefore far more responsible for the movie than the faces we normally see in the experiments. I for one thought the character of Jerry was supposed to be an unlikable jerk, and Cash Flagg therefore carried out his duties successfully.
Much the same could be said of Coleman/Griffin. I’m not sure just how Hal wanted us to feel about “Manos”‘s Mike though; even he may have decided that Torgo was the actual star halfway through.
Maximilian Schell from Hamlet, and an honorable mention for whomever dubbed his voice.
He probably dubbed his own voice. I think he could speak English well enough.
Uh…ALL of them? Except Hackman, of course, who, as #70 said, is good in anything.
I thought Richard’s work was excellent in Eegah!
when he said “Schtemlo”… i whispered, “Oscar, baby… oscar.”
Neal Connery in “operation 007” he’s not even an actor he’s the brother of an actor. How did he even get the gig !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you think about it, this is a thread giving recognition to bad actors. They are so bad they’ve achieved a sub-cult following that isn’t limited to this thread (Rondo Award, anyone?) They are renowned for their performance. Immortalized! You laugh, but who would ever have remembered Aldo Farnese. His magnum opus would be rotting in a film-can somewhere. Take a bow Aldo, you cigar-chomping nasal-speaking ghost-whispering dweeb, you.
And Lance Fuller can now be hailed as an industry genius for anticipating his revival almost a decade after his death with his performance in She Creature. He’s never been more popular! Now go seek out the complete works of Joe Estevez or your chances of ever becoming cool are finished!
BTW- I know that Maximilian Schell dubbed himself in Hamlet because I’ve seen him in English-speaking films. That’s definitely his voice. Since he could speak English and he was a big-shot actor in Germany, he probably wouldn’t want anyone else to dub him. That’s why he’s the only actor in Hamlet dubbed with the clumsy German accent.
As for Ray Dennis Steckler as Cash Flagg as Jerry in TISCWSLABMUZ, his performance wasn;t that bad. Much more desrving form this movie was Dennis Kesdekian as Atlas King as Harold, whose delivery was all but unintelligible, although there were mitigating circumstances: he could barely speak English, and had to learn his lines phonetically.
My vote goes to the actor from “Teenage Strangler” who played Jimmy and Mikey’s father, by Jupiter!
Wow so many to choose from…
I’d still have to give it to Coleman Francis in “Red Zone Cuba” – do you realize how incredible it is to be that bad of an actor AND director? Hal Warren from “Manos” gets an extremely close second for pretty much the same reason…
# 44
Prof, you’re right, The Paper Chase Guy was one of the worst. I guess it was ** so ** forgetable a role I forgot it.
#80 – Castle Monster, you take the mind choking version of Hamlet and look at Maximilian Schell’s incredible performance in Judgment at Nuremberg and you gotta wonder how are these two people the same actors.
Yeah, I can imagine how he would feel being in a run-off of bad actors. And I can imagine after demanding that he dub his own voice against the advice of the foreign distributor realizing that dubbing English isn’t as easy as it looks and then thinking “Well, at least no one is ever going to see this piece of crap.”
Like last weekend’s thread, this is a brutal category because so many are horrible for different reasons. Here are some that come to mind:
– The “student” fraternity member in “Ring of Terror” that did all of those impressions (“jolly ol’ Oxford!”). He’s the Robin Williams of his generation minus the hairy arms and drug use.
– Reb Brown from “Space Mutiny”. You can tell that a chick did the casting for this movie, and didn’t base her decisions on talent.
– Thom Christopher from “Deathstalker”. The fact that this guy won a Daytime Emmy should give you an idea of how the standards of acting differ between soaps and movies.
– Tony Cardoza from “Hellcats/Skydivers/Red Zone Cuba”. With every viewing of these films, I’m convinced more and more that his soul was sucked out of him at some point, leaving just a fleshy zombie.
– Robert Ginty from “Warrior of the Lost World”. I kept wishing Fred Williamson would live up to his nickname from his football days (“The Hammer”) and lay the smackdown on ‘The Paper Chase’ guy!
– The two peeping-tom military guys from “Attack of the the Eye Creatures”. I think the phrase “showers, anyone?” would best describe the performance of these creeps.
MOst annoying AND worst the freakish mullet wearing rock and roller/pansy who pretends he is so iresistable to women and tries to be a bad boy rock and roller in “Zombie Nightmare” he got killed off ,barely in time but we didndt get to see it!
#86, RaBT, oh my gosh, I’d forgotten all about that awful “frat brother” from Ring of Terror – he was TRULY dreadful, and J&tBs didn’t pick on him nearly enough! He deserved to be slapped silly.
I think Big Jake from “Sidehackers” deserves some consideration. But my vote goes to Robby Benson in City Limits. He didn’t act, he just sat, and then drooled Smuckers strawberry preserves at the end. He was inevitable
Gotta go with Harold Warren as Mike in MANOS. But I do think Cash Flagg is a close second. And I think I’d follow that with Coleman Francis. All directing themselves horribly. So does this make them crappy directors for getting bad performances out of themselves, or are they crappy actors who don’t know how to act?
Anthony Cardoza “The Skydivers”
Reb Brown “Space Mutiny”
the killer DJ from “The Dead Talk Back”
Is this lead actor or just any actor? If we don’t do a supporting actor category by itself, we can’t forget the guy who played Watney in “Outlaw”. Uggghhh!!!! :mad:
Reb Brown may be a horrible actor but he hasn’t had much trouble getting work. He’s appeared in Kojack, The Six-Million Dollar Man, Marcus Welby, Emergenscy, he had his youth sucked dry by Cathy Lee Crosby in Kolchack:The Night Stalker, The Rockford Files, CHiPS, Happy Days and that’s just part of the jaw-dropping television history. As far as movies go he was the hapless teen on the motorcycle in the movie Earthquake, he played Captain America, he worked with Geaorge C. (TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!) Scott in Hardcore, palled around with Lee Horsely in The Sword and the Sorcerer and got werewolved in The Howling II:Stirba-Werewolf Bitch where he probably got to party down with Sybil Danning and Christopher Lee. But another bad movie even many Misties may not know about is Il Mondo di Yor, or Yor-The Hunter from the Future, directed by some guy named Antonio Margheriti. In it he play a fair-haired cave-guy who comes to realize he’s really from the future. I’ve never seen it but the trailer looks like a hoot, with countless opportunities for him to scream like a girl. And that wig!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084935/plotsummary
I’m sure that everyone in the old MST3K crew knew about this movie but I have no idea why it was never riffed. Must have been a rights issue, unless Margheriti tracked down every copy and burnt it before he died. I think CT *and* RT should riff it in a competition for the right to call themselves MST3K.
I must… cast my… ballot..for Thom…Christopher.
Whole lotta good entries on here but I will go with hal warren. I know everyone loves to shove it to ray dennis steckler but the way he shoots movies it’s obvious that he doesn’t use a script so I would say it’s good for what it is. Hal just got in over his head and thought it would work. Couldn’t act his way out of his own movie though.
Oh jeez, Castle Monster, I haven’t thought of Yor in ages. Used to watch that all the time on HBO, along with Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann, Krull and The Wraith.
Okay, I know that earlier in this thread I nominated the cranky old man from The Sinister Urge who doesn’t want the police investigating smut.
Well, I’m watching The Sinister Urge right now, I’d like to withdraw that pick and substitute the guy who looks like Hymie the Robot, who dramatic touches his chin when he thinks and who looks like he’s waving hello when he’s trying to convey confidence…
#96 Cool. So is it better than Space Mutiny?
This is more of a pick for “most annoying” than “worst acting”. But watching John “I know more than everyone else” Agar is almost painful to me. He absolutely drives me crazy with his scene stealing smarm. Did they really write his part like that in all his movies or did they just say let Agar do what he does best.
I must defend Thom Christopher. He is a long time soap opera actor and he was easily the most interesting character in Deathstalker. That Relson (or is it Nelson) guy who played Deathstalker was far worse than Thom Christopher.