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Weekend Discussion Thread: Olympic Events Based on MSTed MoviesYep, it’s time again for the Olympics, and, hey! I’ve got a crazy idea!
What new olympic events can you dream up, based on MSTed movies? The first one that comes to mind is the Ator-athlon, where you have to make (from twigs and whatever you can find) a hang glider, and then fly it to the nearest castle. What’s your event? 116 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Olympic Events Based on MSTed Movies”Commenting at Satellite News
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The “Idiot Control” sprint. Put a sack of monkeys in your pocket, get your sister ready to go, and feel the wind in your eyes!
Or Master Ninja Gymnastics. Contestants are judged on the athleticism and skill of the stunt doubles they’ve dressed up in their outfits.
Or Diabolik Criminal Hide and Seek. Awards are a little different for this event – the loser gets the gold…
Man, Professor Gunther was right. These are addictive!
The Danger!! Death Ray shooting event! Shoot out all the gun-cameras for the gold (although Cambot will cry), shoot the pool boy for silver, and shoot the Chem-Green guy for the bronze. Olé!
The “Manos” road rally. The contestants drive 30 meters, pull over, and make out. During the make-out, they must consume a pint of liquor. They then drive another 30 meters and repeat. The last one to pass out wins!
Also for consideration, from Werewolf: Archeologist boxing and Lycanthrope parkour.
Taking a breather from the Freestyle Pavlovian Riff-Quoting event… ;)
How about turning the balance beam into the Women of the Prehistoric Planet Bridge-Crossing event–Cross this bar, you’re not only in the club, you get the gold!
Inspired by The Pumaman… Scored like High Diving, Vadinho throws the Olympic athletes out windows of increasing height.
Full contact rake fighting from “Hobgoblins”
and let’s not forget the older spectators in the stands can cheer on their favorite athletes from their Barca loungers as they do the nod…
http://www.byrneequine.com/2016/08/07/imdbwatch-full-suicide-squad-2016-online-movie-hdhq/
http://www.byrneequine.com/2016/08/07/imdbwatch-full-suicide-squad-2016-online-movie-hdhq/
The Torgo staff javelin throw competition.
I’d go with the women’s Swamp Diamonds decathlon, where female athletes must escape from prison, catfight, steal a boat, catfight, pull that boat through the swamp, catfight, wrestle an alligator, catfight, then throw homemade spears at each other and shoot a snake.
Scoring is based on how long each pointless event pads the film, and how many ancillary characters are offed at each location.
Alternatively, there’s also the Killer Shrews zero-K marathon, where athletes are scored on their ability to drink and stand in place.
The Vampire Women Torch Off – Help me El Santo
The Milk Throwing/Tossing Event – Keep the beefing to a minimum please
Give Mikey a Swirly Event – I didn’t take no PED’s neither!
What about about sheeing?
Long overdue as an Olympic sport, if you ask me.
Yes what a shame that people are having fun in a way that doesn’t adhere to your 1990 Comedy Nerd Rules.
Those episodes and those lines resonated strongly with a large group of vocal fans. “Two Words – Get Over it!”
To make it more challenging the plane is flown by Davey from San Francisco International.
Wouldn’t mind seeing Olympic-caliber Sidehackers doing a Tipsy Gorilla on the hey-di-hidie-ho side of the track, and a Butterscotch Push with a Frunky-frunky-frunky!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B77pJqwN-D4
“Eh, you old guys and your Sally Struthers and Time-Life jokes, you don’t known how to appreciate Space Mutiny references like us hip informed Millennials!”
Good one.
One of the Master Ninja-oriented events would have to be Freestyle Defenestration.
speaking of which:
http://www.climbing.com/news/climbing-officially-approved-for-2020-olympics/
Skeet kendo and aikido sharpshooting events, both of which would be held at the famous H.A.R.M. Olympic Judo Range.
The Creeping Terror Marathon. Slowest runners collect their winning medals from inside the actual Creeping Terror!
Cult Leader Butt Shooting
Invisible Opponent Fencing
Running of the Killer Shrews (not an event as such, just part of the Opening Ceremonies)
Eh I see no reason to denigrate people who weren’t watching televison when those commercials were aired ad nauseam. I was glad when I discovered MST3k to see someone was making fun of them, it resonated with me and made me laugh that someone with a TV show was also watching that crap. I also love the Sci Fi era and episodes like Space Mutiny, Final Sacrifice, etc.
The Missionary Position Clone Relay Race.
The Sherriff Thumb In Belt Endurance Challenge. “…Whatever.”
Night of the Blood Beast all Steves relay race
the No Springs event.
there was no Olympic event.
The “Why won’t they look?” event.
the dog’s meat, have you seen it event.
Annoying Creep Endurance Marathon: Contestants are forced to hike through the desert while being followed by a pig-faced, sexist loser who shrieks “Cabot!” at them every step of the way. Whoever goes the farthest without clobbering the jerk is the winner.
The current record is 47 feet, 5 inches.
The Mitchell Hurdles:
Contestants spend the entire day sitting in a car outside a mob guy’s house. After dark, they change locations, climb over an iron gate, break into another mob guy’s house, then run back out and over the gate while being chased by gun-wielding mob guy.
The winner gets oiled up, literally and figuratively, for a night with a hooker. Losers get shot.
Alien From L.A. Mega-marathon:
Contestants must deliver a letter on foot, from South Africa to Los Angeles.
finding the right’s holder to Track of the Moonbeast.
Awww… that’s just EricJ’s way of showing us he loves us. ;-)
You have to ask? A Freestyle Andy Rooney off, of course!
(so it’s from a host segment…)
Synchronized Torgos
Soul Ring Toss: Winner gets the green. Loser loses their soul.
Bad movie watching. Last contestant to go insane wins the gold.
Diabolik swimming through molten gold competition. Everyone gets the gold.
Offtopic. Tonight Svengoolie is showing a 1956 Beverly Garland movie, Curucu, Beast of the Amazon. Boy, do they smoke them cigarettes—even while getting a physical exam in a doctor’s office.
A Septathalon defeat all 7 curses and get the gold!
The Moon Zero Two one-sixth G fighting competition. It’s not too different from an average brawl, just slower.
And a new track & field event: demi-god freestyle discus. Points are awarded based on distance thrown and the level of unease the spectators feel.
Giant Leech Race:
Contestants are chased by twos through a swamp by a chubby guy with a shotgun. Every runner who escapes gets to be in a better movie. Any contestant who is unable to outrun the chubby guy gets nuzzled by giant leeches.
And also change ethnicity.
Disaster struck last Monday during the newest addition to the Olympic Games:
Grasshopperback polo.
The spectators knew it was the beginning of the end when custom saddles began to violently shred apart due to the chitinous friction of vibrating thoraxes, thrumming wings, and giant twitching legs.
Grasshoppers don’t like mallets and have a near preternatural fear of leap chasing after a small plastic ball.
Mandibular “tobacco juice” sprayed in every direction, dangerously obstructing the vision of goggled riders.
The heat and tearing of the saddles, – combined with periods of “riding bareback insectoid” – proved too much for the athletes and many men tragically lost that all important extremity.
The next morning, a special and very somber sunrise ceremony transpired.
You never saw so many Peter Graves.
(In memory of Mike Dodge.)
Fire Maiden Synchronized Dance and Human Sacrifice competition. Best dancer gets gold. Least popular girl gets extra crispy.
King Dinosaur Triathlon. First run away from Dinosaurs. Then row a boat for a hundred feet. Then detonate a nuclear device.
For added authenticity, have it conducted over the sludge vat that the practice pool at the Olympic swimming venue is reputed to be.
Un-even parallel railing kills. Compulsory event!
Rowsdower drinking relay race – a team is placed in the back of a pickup truck and must chug enough beer to fill a milk crates and then chuck it at another car that is following them
is there beer on the sun event.