For this weekend: Is there a holiday movie that you think really deserves riffing? My pick: The 1973 remake of “Miracle on 34th Street” with David Hartman and Sebastian Cabot. Bleah.
What’s your pick?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: Christmas Movies that SHOULD Be RiffedFirst of all, sorry for completely spacing and forgetting to post a discussion thread last weekend. My bad.
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C’mon! Let’s hang A Christmas Story up and see if it flies!!! OR iIt’s a Wonderful Life! We’ve all seen these so many times that a good skewering should only enhance the experience.
There’s that Mary Steenburgen movie, I think its called One Magic Christmas, where if she doesn’t mail a letter to Santa, her family is destroyed.
Um, it’s by no means “art”, but Gremlins 2 is actually pretty awesome. I always viewed it as kind of a satire of the sequel-equals-first-movie-but-more-over-the-top rule. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.
Christmas With The Cranks would be a good one, if you could hear the riffing over all the shouted lines and garish set designs.
I would love to see any of the Rankin-Bass Christmas specials riffed.
It may be a bit unfair to riff on kids films, but there’s so much weird, silly and dumb stuff in them that they’re hilarious regardless. (That Gumby short they did was one of my favorites.)
Pretty much any Christmas movie that started off as a cheesy romantic comedy, but was set during December, and thus became a Christmas movie.
Here’s another vote for The Night They Saved Christmas.
George #50: Say what you will about A Charlie Brown Christmas, but it’s a far sight better than the more recent I Want a Dog for Christmas Charlie Brown. When you get down to it, TV specials based on comic strips are really a bunch of the strips fused together into a more or less coherent story. IWADFCCB forgot about having anything resembling a story. And while voice acting in Peanuts TV specials has always been a bit uneven due to Schultz insisting that the characters be voiced by actual children, it was particularly bad in this one.
There have also been some anime Christmas episodes and OVAs. What could be more riffable than weirdarse Japanese interpretations of Christmas?
Hey, I kinda liked Polar Express.
I know, there’s no room for sentiment.
The 2006 “Black Christmas” remake. Andrea Martin must have been short on cash when she decided to do this! It also has Michelle “Whiny Dawn Summers” Trachtenberg as well.
I second “Christmas With The Kranks.” That movie flat out sucked.
And I’ll berudgingly say any of those Rankin-Bass (it was them who prduced them, right?) specials. Thy’re fun to watch, but they went way crazy with inventing their own holiday mythology. Rudolf’s Shiny New Year is one of the trippiest things ever, hands down.
Just…no talking during the Heat miser/Cold Miser songs. Some of us want to sing along.
“Um, it’s by no means “art”, but Gremlins 2 is actually pretty awesome. I always viewed it as kind of a satire of the sequel-equals-first-movie-but-more-over-the-top rule. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.”
agreed. gremlins 2 is high-larious & much better than it had any right to be (i actually – gasp! – enjoy it more than the first movie). it’s an unnecessary sequel that points out that it’s an unnecessary sequel every moment it can. the onion did a pretty nice little write-up for their “the new cult cannon” section a few months ago that sums up my feelings on why it’so so damn awesome pretty nicely:
http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/the_new_cult_canon_gremlins_2
and, for my christmas moive vote(s), it’d be “santa claus: the movie” for rifftrax & “santa claus and the ice cream bunny” for CT.
I remember an episode of “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” that was Christmas based, it had Carroll O’Connor (pre Archie Bunker) as an angel/Santa(?) character…. Gypsy would probably like it.
I think we have a winner…I caught the extremely cheesy end of a made-for-ABC Family called “Christmas in Wonderland” that stars Carmen Electra, Chris Kattan and…Patrick Swayze.
Do I even have to try and describe the plot now? Honestly, all it’s missing is the Shadowrama.
Looks like you can watch it for free on ABC Family’s website until the New Year starts…
Can’t forget the Hulk Hogan film
Santa With Muscles.
In saying ANY Rankin-Bass Christmas special, is everyone forgetting that Rifftrax’s one freebie was a track for “Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey”? I never downloaded it, but when I discovered it 4 years ago, a friend and I laughed our asses off tearing into it ourselves; possibly their oddest offering ever.
I believe Nestor and “Little Drummer Boy” Books I and II were the only biblical ones they did, and seem like the best riffing material to me because they’re so contrived. Naturally, since with Santa and Jack Frost stories they could just make up whatever they wanted based on song lyrics taken out of context, but one can’t monkey around with the greatest story ever told, so everything has to be worked around it.
One personal (and possibly offensive) riff that I’m sure RT missed: when Nestor first meets Tillie the cherub and a divine shaft of light shines down on Nestor’s noggin to guide him, or something:
NESTOR: Uh, Tillie? Did God just rape my mind?
TILLIE (In her Fargo accent): Alright Buster, you just got yer whole life story declared apocrypha!
NESTOR: Awwwwwwww…
bartcow: “There’s that Mary Steenburgen movie, I think its called One Magic Christmas, where if she doesn’t mail a letter to Santa, her family is destroyed.”
Oh yeah, that’s a good choice, if only for how dark the movie gets. Still, I do admire the movie for it’s grittiness. We would really never see such a movie made today.
It’s a Wonderful Life. George Baily can kiss my green furry butt cheeks.
– The Grinch
IT HAPPENED ONE CHRISTMAS, the TV remake of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE starring Marlo Thomas as James Stewart.
And since the Christmas ep of G.I.Joe got mentioned, we should probably also consider the HeMan and SheRa Christmas special that got a special edition DVD release 3 years ago.
There was also a Glo-Friends Christmas special where Santa’s trapped in an ice cage by a witch, with icicles that’ll impale him as it collapses. The Glo-Friends, shockingly, use their glowing powers to melt the cage and save him; BUT, wouldn’t melting the cage just get Santa crushed faster? Had the good fortune to find that tape at a video store recently, I’ll have to rewatch it soon and give a better synopsis…
I don’t remember the title, but it was a TV movie gender-role-reversal version of “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Marlo Thomas in the George Bailey role and Wayne Rogers as Mary.
No, really! I’m not making this up!
# 67 – Bitemykrankor – Trust me to post without reading other posters first….
I like Father of Tears’ response of Black Christmas. The girls were all hot, but the movie left me feeling cold. Just a terrible movie in every way.
I want to see some of these other movies that have been mentioned, although hearing about how bad Polar Express is, I am now glad I never watched it.
Why all the Die Hard hate?! I thought bad movies were supposed to be riffed. Oh yea, that’s right, RiffTrax is just a gimmick…
I have to agree with the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. Awful.
No one has mentioned Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick. Wretched stuff.
I would love to see like a triple feature,and have all the Claymation Sevenites Christmas specials
Like Star off with rudolph,then Santa claus is coming to town,then the year without a santa claus
i love thie first two but the third needs to be riffed.it begs for it
and sinc ei love it with a ferven tpassion A christmas story also needs to be riffed just because id love to see it lol
And as for bad christmas movies……Jingle all the way.
One more thing i forgot to add-
Cant you just see them riffing Santa claus is comin to town?I mean Jessica sings a song with trippy animation THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE MOVIE!!!!
and its a classic so if it and a christmas story were riffedi think it would be with utmost resepct lol
There’s one scene in SCICTT that always makes Cheech and Chong’s “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” start playing in my head:
When they first go on the run up north the narrator calls Santa and Co. outlaws, “Oh, so they went underground man! Yeah, like, I can dig that…”
Batman Returns. I actually like it somewhat, but there are plot holes, and Christopher Walken is there to cheer things up.
What about some of the really forgotten Christmas Specials like …
A Smurf Christmas
Family Circus Christmas
That episode of the Ghostbusters where they help Scrooge learn the value of Chirstmas after they capture the spirts of Chirstmas.
I pretty sure there was a Ziggy and a Cathy Christmas.
That 1980’s made for T.V. movies about the Three Wise men coming to New York.
A Space Goofs Christmas
The Anime , Itsudatte My Santa!, could uses a good riffing.
The list goes on.
Any “sequel” to a beloved Christmas special.
For example, “Rudoph and Frosty’s Christmas In July” is particularly awful as well as “Rudolph’s Shiny New Year”.
Saw a wretchedly animated special called, “Johann’s Gift To Christmas” about how church mice actually wrote the music to “Silent Night”. The claymation is so bad it makes the Rankin Bass specials look like Pixar. It was made in Canada!
Also, just saw “The Miser Brothers Christmas Special”. They totally destroyed it by “updating” the beloved characters. Kudos, though, for keeping the same crappy animation style that Rankin Bass perfected so many years ago.
-jessie says:
December 21st, 2008 at 11:01 pm
One more thing i forgot to add-
Cant you just see them riffing Santa claus is comin to town?I mean Jessica sings a song with trippy animation THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE MOVIE!!!!-
Yes!!!! I love when she’s looking into the fountain at her “reflection” and it’s just a picture of her under the water! Couldn’t they have put a MIRROR in the bottom of the fountain?
I also love the moment when Mickey Rooney as Santa names the penguin “Topper”. It just sounds like Mickey Rooney had a “moment” in the recording chamber and they left it in the special. Who the hell names a penguin “Topper”?
Is that clip of “Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny” indicative of the whole movie? If so, it may actually be WORSE than “Manos”, based on that sample! Looks like someone’s home movies, minus the competence. It has the potential to be a classic CT entry!
Any modern day retelling of Dickens, really, but the 95 made-for-TV movie “Ebby” with … Susan Lucci :roll: I mean really, Ebby?? Ugh.
A Very Brady Christmas…caught this on the Family Channel with my wife (for a bit of Holiday Cheese) and riffed most of it myself.
I would say that at any time you can turn on ABC Family and there you have. All the riffing you can handle. My money is on that Christmas in Wonderland movie as the cheesest thing they have played so far.
Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas on and all..
Charlie Brown Christmas. I would love to see it get the treatment. Who doesn’t have it memorized to the point you could riff it without even watching it.
Just finished watching The Polar Express and here are my reasons why it belongs on the list besides the afore mentioned Nuremburg Rally at Santa’s.
Eddie Deezen does the voice of one of the kids on the train.
Watching the closing credits remind you of a long overdue Bossum Buddies reunion.
There is a creepy Steven Tyler elf, since when did Aerosmith make me think of Christmas.
Tom Hanks very animated acting, Com’n Hollywood, get voice actors.
I’m sure there are other reasons why this belongs on the list but I would be typing all day.
I do regret what I inscribes regarding said actor in that film it wasn’t that terrible. Also I want to express compunction for my inept and inane approach.
Steve VII says
Yes!!!! I love when she’s looking into the fountain at her “reflection” and it’s just a picture of her under the water! Couldn’t they have put a MIRROR in the bottom of the fountain?
I also love the moment when Mickey Rooney as Santa names the penguin “Topper”. It just sounds like Mickey Rooney had a “moment” in the recording chamber and they left it in the special. Who the hell names a penguin “Topper”?
Lol i love topper lol.Thats my fav christmas movie but it just needs to be riffed lol.
The thing that boggles my mind is when they edit it for tv they cut out parts of the good song BUT THEY LEAVE HER SONG,WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE IN ANY SHAPE FORM OR FASHION,in its entirety.
?That bugs me especialy when im singi-er,imena listening to the song and it cuts out lol.
Topper though it has anic ring.
But I mena burgermeister-Thats a whole slew of hitler jokes waiting to happen
I second Die Hard 2,
when I was in Iraq we’d get all kinds of odd stuff sent to us (maxi pads will soak up a whole can of spilt mountain dew) amonst the many crappy bargen shelf DVDs was some christmas mixer, basicaly a bunch of shorts, all bad, ranging from black and white stuff that was barley understandable to a CGI short called the Alpahbots Christmas, in which the alahbit is spelled out far to many times for my taste, I was the only one who wanted to watch these things as they had a charm only a Mistie could appreciate. Everyone else thought I had lost it when I was loosing it over these things while everyone else just stood around confused.
Another vote in favor of The Night they Saved Christmas. I grew up watching this one. It’s extremely 80s with oodles of made-for-tv special effects, an annoying robot, bad songs and heart string tugging mixed with a plot about dynamiting for oil threatening to destroy Santa’s workshop. And Art Carney was a fun Santa.
Ohhh that reminds me, The Twilight Zone Christmas episode “Night of the Meek” with Art Carney as a drunken Santa could be good.
I’d also second Santa Claus with Dudley Moore. I can’t imagine ever watching that again without professional assistance.
Ransom: I have that same PD bargain basement DVD, and yes, CT could just do the whole shebang. I just started watching “The Snow Queen”, and already have several jokes about there being an unnecessary storytellers union; not only does it keep cutting away to a tiny animated man who apparently lives in the Hans Christian Anderson Memorial Library, but there’s a live-action prologue of Art Linkletter handing out presents to wealthy, illiterate childeren. Maybe that was tacked on afterwards so it could be marketed as a Christmas movie, but I think they just needed to pad it out to feature length.
And I did watch Alphabots: “Would it have cost that much more to make the robots actually LOOK like the letters they represent?!?!”
And speaking of songs cut from SCICTT, there’s one that never airs on TV:
“If you sit on my lap today,
A-kiss-a-toy is the price you’ll pay.”
Ummmm…was there ever a time when that would have sounded completely innocent?
Oh, and does David Cronenberg’s “Rabid” count as a Christmas movie, or just a Boxing Day movie? It’s just good enough that it’d be hard to riff, IMO, but I thought I’d remind everyone that it does end around Christmas…
The Bolem:
They actualy played Kiss-a-toy IN ITS ENTIRETY when they shows SCICTT
And yet,they cut out Put one foot in front of the other,and first toymakers to the king.
Thats wrong.
Although they shouldjust air it in its entirety lol.
My votes go for the patrick swayze christmas-thing,and Of course,Santa Claus and the ice cream bunny.I was laughing at the utter stupidity of that.
it was,dare i say it…Worse than*gulp*Manos
The Bolem,
do you know the name of that DVD, I’d like find it, it shouldn’t be too difficult, big lots, walgreens, etc.
oh and “Anderson, Thats Me!!!!”
Thirding SANTA WITH MUSCLES, perennial bottom-feeder on the “IMdB Bottom 100”.
Unfortunately, for some reason it was never released on DVD, so that’s out.
How about Henry Winkler’s turn as Scrooge in “An American Christmas Carol”?
Ransom: Assuming I’m right about it being the same collection you saw, this year it’s a Toys R Us exclusive called “A Classic Christmas” – 4 Hours of Christmas Cartoons. Cover features a brain-damaged-looking Rudolph, Santa with his beard falling off and pointing at something up the Snow Queen’s sleeve, while Z-Bot bestows his blessings on them all (if only it was Tranzor-Z-Bot *sigh*).
Last I saw, it was marked down to $2.49. They’re also selling Christmas eps of The Littles, and probably Sonic the Hedgehog.
Another classic that Cartoon Network used to dig up for the holidays was the Christmas episode of Pac-Land. The ghosts cause Santa’s sleigh to crash, and only those power pellets can propell his Reindeer around the world in time. “…and to all, a good chomp!” is the actual last line. Perfect fodder perhaps, but only if properly riffed by my fellow children of the ’80s. RT or CT would need just a drop of slightly newer blood to get it right.
There’s another one I forgot because it’s so terrible it probably wouldn’t even be fun to make fun of: “Mr. Bills’ Christmas” He’s funny in moderation, but watching that entire tape left me not only wanting to burn it, but feeling like the Star Wars Holiday Special was actually an inspired part of the franchise instead of a 2-hour taped deal meant to sell the first SW toys.
Hmmm…RT should do “Night of the Meek”, “The Year They Saved Christmas” and the Honeymooners Christmas ep to cover the entire Art Carney holiday quadrilogy.
Jack Frost
There two verson both need misting. One is heart waring versoin her guy turns into snow man to spend time with his kid.
Second is about a Killer snow man. Is so awful. He frezzes people. There a scean with the carriot. It so wrong.
Yeah, my friends in college agreed that the only reason anyone would bother seeing the killer Jack frost movie is because of the cool lenticular motion video cover.
Hey, no one mentioned the Rankin Bass Jack Frost, where Jack becomes human to win the heart of a human girl and save her from Kubla Krauss the (C)Kossack King. Might be kinda’ hard to riff in this category because it’s technically more of a Groundhog Day movie, and has a touchingly bittersweet ending instead of a cheesy, syrupy one. There are two shocking things about it though:
1. The hero flat out KILLS the villian by sending him flying out a window and down a mountain, whereas most of their specials saw the bad guy reformed in the end. Even King Winterbolt got the nonsensical cop-out of being turned into a tree instead of shot to death (although Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July does make you think that’s what’s going to happen for 5 glorious seconds)
2. If taken into continuity with their other specials, Jack took being jilted so bad that he spent the next 1,400 years going crazy until he became the bad guy in “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland”.